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(YouTube)   Ah yup, that's a Michael Bay film alright, enjoy the BAY-HEM   (youtube.com) divider line
    More: Amusing  
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1007 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 21 Oct 2021 at 8:45 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



31 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-10-21 8:50:27 PM  
Tell me you like cocaine without telling me you like cocaine Michael.
 
2021-10-21 9:00:10 PM  
No.
 
2021-10-21 9:01:58 PM  
Another story where lack of heathcare turns normal people into violent criminals on some sort of twisted Robin Hood crusade.

Only in America.

Pass.
 
2021-10-21 9:05:00 PM  
Coming soon from Michael Bay...

Booties, Boobies, and Boom Booms!*

*actual title always varies, but that's what you're getting. It's all he knows.
 
2021-10-21 9:11:51 PM  

AuralArgument: Tell me you like cocaine without telling me you like cocaine Michael.


image.airtel.tvView Full Size
 
2021-10-21 9:11:53 PM  

Pipkin E: No.


^^No^^
 
2021-10-21 9:14:01 PM  
Yikes. All that money and effort to produce something that'll barely entertain and never be remembered.
 
2021-10-21 9:14:58 PM  
3/4 of the show is slow motion.
 
2021-10-21 9:23:03 PM  
Well, it looked like a movie.
 
2021-10-21 9:24:42 PM  
So this is the gritty reboot of Mother, Jugs, & Speed?

moviemem.comView Full Size

(One of the movie's stars seen here, contemplating which drug to add to their wine)
 
2021-10-21 9:28:04 PM  
Add some more explosions and that trailer pretty much covers the entire movie.
 
2021-10-21 9:29:25 PM  
The best thing Michael Bay ever wished he had done:
Family guy - Michael Bay's Peter Griffin gets fired (Part 1)
Youtube 0MUV1BBbcjY

Plus, it has Carrie Fisher in it!
 
2021-10-21 9:34:40 PM  
Bayhem? How about Baytrocity.
 
2021-10-21 9:36:54 PM  

The Flexecutioner: Bayhem? How about Baytrocity.


Still mad about what he did to your robot cartoon?
 
2021-10-21 9:38:53 PM  
A heist movie?

Let me guess: There's some kind of double cross involved? Or that a convoluted plan with many variables and moving parts that looks like it goes horribly wrong is, in fact, exactly what one of the protagonists intended all along?

Because everyone always has contingencies in heist movies. That's what makes them boring.

Like this:
Morty Pitches a Heist Movie to Netflix - Rick and Morty (Season 4)
Youtube 2sQ-0tcL43g
 
2021-10-21 9:40:21 PM  
Ahem...
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-21 9:48:59 PM  
There already was an ambulance movie that made you feel like you were coming off coke.
And it was way better than this shiat
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
 
2021-10-21 9:52:06 PM  

stoli n coke: The Flexecutioner: Bayhem? How about Baytrocity.

Still mad about what he did to your robot cartoon?


Pfft. I've been mad for 25 years. He's all icing, no cake. The truck nuts of filmmakers.
 
2021-10-21 9:57:31 PM  
This guy is going to love it...

Conversations I've actually had on calls as a Paramedic and Firefighter.
Youtube jXBSnFHoHwE
 
2021-10-21 10:05:33 PM  
You know a guy is completely full of himself, and a lot of a perv when he casts a barely-not-jailbait (estimating ~19 years old) Megan Fox in the role of "Mikaela Banes".
 
2021-10-21 10:06:42 PM  
Michael Bay Presents: Explosions! | Robot Chicken | Adult Swim
Youtube v7ssUivM-eM
 
2021-10-21 10:26:37 PM  
Maybe even more than explosions Michael loves the "troopz done wrong" trope
 
2021-10-21 10:27:42 PM  

Aezetyr: You know a guy is completely full of himself, and a lot of a perv when he casts a barely-not-jailbait (estimating ~19 years old) Megan Fox in the role of "Mikaela Banes".


20, according to IMDB
 
2021-10-21 10:28:26 PM  
Explosions aside, I don't think Bay gets enough credit for only putting cars in his movies that have the center of gravity of a jeep with an overloaded roof trying to go up the side of a glacier on bald tires.  Vehicles in a Michael Bay movie spend more time flipping over than they do driving.
 
2021-10-21 10:56:55 PM  

EdgeRunner: Coming soon from Michael Bay...

Booties, Boobies, and Boom Booms!*

*actual title always varies, but that's what you're getting. It's all he knows.


If Bay cloned himself, had the clone dried out and ground into a powder, then snorted that powder... 6 Underground is the movie he'd make.  It is Bay Unleashed.  It is what happens when he does exactly what he wants.

It is... unwatchable garbage based around a few interesting visuals.  Bay's name on a movie means I don't watch it unless it's free and I'm desperate.  In his early days, before he evolved into his final form, sure, I could watch his movies.  Not now.
 
2021-10-21 11:33:24 PM  

Unsung_Hero: EdgeRunner: Coming soon from Michael Bay...

Booties, Boobies, and Boom Booms!*

*actual title always varies, but that's what you're getting. It's all he knows.

If Bay cloned himself, had the clone dried out and ground into a powder, then snorted that powder... 6 Underground is the movie he'd make.  It is Bay Unleashed.  It is what happens when he does exactly what he wants.

It is... unwatchable garbage based around a few interesting visuals.  Bay's name on a movie means I don't watch it unless it's free and I'm desperate.  In his early days, before he evolved into his final form, sure, I could watch his movies.  Not now.


I have not finished that movie yet.  That movie...the first 20 minutes of it are...he made a car chase boring.

He made what's probably his signature action set piece (outside of explosions) boring.  And long-winded.  And absolutely nonsensical, even for his standards.

Honestly, as someone who's not terribly ashamed to say that I like some of his work, Bay has lost his touch.  And he's been that way since 13 Hours bombed.  I think he was really hoping that would be his "Look!  I can do serious stuff!" film, and it failed miserably, and he's been trying to run from it since.  Transformers: The Last Knight was a f*cking travesty, I've not got high hopes for what the rest of 6 Underground will shake out to be, and while this new movie does have me intrigued as far as what new cinematographical tricks he's learned and the three stars in Gyllenhaal, Mateen and Gonzalez...there's a f*cking lowrider with a minigun in it.  To say the least.
 
2021-10-21 11:53:01 PM  
Um...

I had to do a Google for "Ambulance cast" to find out who the brunette was. Yowzers!
 
2021-10-22 12:41:15 AM  

Clutch2013: Honestly, as someone who's not terribly ashamed to say that I like some of his work, Bay has lost his touch.


Bay hasn't lost his touch.

You're just not 14 anymore.
 
2021-10-22 1:45:00 AM  

Ishkur: Clutch2013: Honestly, as someone who's not terribly ashamed to say that I like some of his work, Bay has lost his touch.

Bay hasn't lost his touch.

You're just not 14 anymore.


Nah, I discovered that when I tried looking at Bad Boys II again and found myself cringing uncontrollably at all of the "comedy" bits.

The Michael Bay of today is not the same Bay that was around for even that.  Transformers: Age of Extinction was bad for any number of reasons, but it's still that level of bad that you can Rifftrax or go in knowing full well you're just there to see pretty sh*t go boom.  The Last Knight fails even at that.  My completionist ass still does not own a copy of that garbage movie, which is saying something considering I eventually caved and bought A Good Day To Die Hard on Blu-Ray for 5 bucks.  The Last Knight is that f*cking bad.  There are maybe five seconds worth of watchable film in the whole mess, and all of them involve a Lamborghini Centenario.  And like I said, I haven't even finished 6 Underground.  I'm maybe halfway through, but it's just a disjointed mess.
 
2021-10-22 2:20:52 AM  
So.... The Town and ambulance Speed
with lens flare?
 
2021-10-22 3:04:11 AM  
I'm at work so thought I'd have a look with the sound off.

Lasted 20 seconds before the nausea kicked in
 
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