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(NPR)   You should basically treat any onions you have in the house right now as if they're live grenades   (npr.org) divider line
    More: Scary, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Federal health investigators, White, Salmonella, Red, Color, Green, Primary color  
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7272 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Oct 2021 at 9:01 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



88 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-10-21 8:06:28 AM  
Whew, Cream of the Crop onions I bought from Walmart are from Nebraska. Not today salmonella, not today!
 
2021-10-21 8:32:24 AM  
The heavy artillery usually come out after I eat them.
 
2021-10-21 8:38:19 AM  
I just bought groceries. I don't want to do it again.
 
2021-10-21 8:44:44 AM  
They'll bed fine if you cut them thin and roast them on cedar planks with some lemon slices and baby dill.
 
2021-10-21 9:03:07 AM  
What about the dried minced onions I bought last year, will those be safe?
 
2021-10-21 9:05:14 AM  
I bought onions two days ago and already ate them. Guess I'll go make out my will.
 
2021-10-21 9:06:42 AM  
Article doesn't mention what happens if you cook them...
seems like a minor oversight.
 
2021-10-21 9:07:04 AM  
MY ONIONS MY CHOICE!!!
 
2021-10-21 9:07:29 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-21 9:07:43 AM  
CDC says toss onions if you don't know where they came from to avoid salmonella

I'm safe, I know all my onions come from the store.
 
2021-10-21 9:09:19 AM  
I prefer to add my locally produced artisanal salmonella to my onions myself thank you very much
 
2021-10-21 9:09:48 AM  
The one on my belt is safe, right?
 
2021-10-21 9:10:46 AM  
I know where mine came from.  Kroger. How do you not know where you got onions from??
 
2021-10-21 9:10:53 AM  
I treat all fruits and vegetables as if they are live grenades. They don't come in the house unless they've been de-armed through the canning process and sat on a shelf at the store for some time that they've proven themselves safe.
 
2021-10-21 9:12:45 AM  
If I had live grenades, I'd  bee taking them to the nearest lake and tossing them in to watch the boom-splashes.

/ or you could play an especially exciting game of hot potato
 
2021-10-21 9:13:41 AM  
Onions are an abomination. Like the platypus.

/Despises onions unless they are in ring or bloomin' form
 
2021-10-21 9:14:21 AM  

Bowen: question_dj: I just bought groceries. I don't want to do it again.

Just boil everything to be safe.


You sound British.
 
2021-10-21 9:14:38 AM  
I bought white and red onions at Aldi yesterday. They don't say where they're from. Is this really something I have you worry about? Wanted to make guac.
 
2021-10-21 9:15:05 AM  
Trick or treat is coming up.  What to do?
 
2021-10-21 9:15:07 AM  

MythDragon: If I had live grenades, I'd  bee taking them to the nearest lake and tossing them in to watch the boom-splashes.

/ or you could play an especially exciting game of hot potato


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-21 9:15:52 AM  

MythDragon: I know where mine came from.  Kroger. How do you not know where you got onions from??


What, you've never come home to find a bag of onions on your porch?

What kind of shiat neighbourhood do you live in?
 
2021-10-21 9:16:28 AM  

REDARMYVODKA: Onions are an abomination. Like the platypus.

/Despises onions unless they are in ring or bloomin' form


Indeed.
The nasty things are an abomination unto the lord.
 
2021-10-21 9:17:11 AM  

KingOfTown: The one on my belt is safe, right?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-21 9:19:37 AM  
Cebolla! Cebolla! My life for you!
 
2021-10-21 9:19:49 AM  
If only humanity had developed some method of using heat to make food safer to eat- say, a "cooking" process, if you will...
 
2021-10-21 9:20:06 AM  
Obligatory:

Kid eats raw onion like it was an apple😂
Youtube FnC8xGGEPRM
 
2021-10-21 9:24:21 AM  

The_Sponge: Obligatory:

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/FnC8xGGE​PRM]


You can do that with fresh, real Vidalia onions. Farkin delish.
 
2021-10-21 9:27:00 AM  
My airbnb host left us fresh eggs from her hens so I shall make a runny onion omelette to tempt fate.
 
2021-10-21 9:27:07 AM  

DMDmarty: The_Sponge: Obligatory:

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/FnC8xGGE​PRM]

You can do that with fresh, real Vidalia onions. Farkin delish.


Unless they were recently imported from Mexico, in which case they are invidaliad.
 
2021-10-21 9:31:55 AM  

talkertopc: CDC says toss onions if you don't know where they came from to avoid salmonella

I'm safe, I know all my onions come from the store.


I'm safe, I know know all of my onions came from the ground.
 
2021-10-21 9:34:00 AM  
I have 20 year old onion powder does that count
 
2021-10-21 9:35:06 AM  
If you outlaw onions, people will just 3D print ghost onions.
 
2021-10-21 9:36:52 AM  
Honestly, I'ma risk it. 600 people in the entire country? Meh. I cook them anyway.
 
2021-10-21 9:38:08 AM  

Abox: I have 20 year old onion powder does that count


Amazingly, yes.
 
2021-10-21 9:43:06 AM  

The_Sponge: Obligatory:

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/FnC8xGGE​PRM]


I Love Onions - Susan Christie
Youtube 0O6vBiQTVBE
 
2021-10-21 9:43:42 AM  

Bowen: question_dj: I just bought groceries. I don't want to do it again.

Just boil everything to be safe.


Even the cat food?
 
2021-10-21 9:45:22 AM  

KingOfTown: DMDmarty: The_Sponge: Obligatory:

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/FnC8xGGE​PRM]

You can do that with fresh, real Vidalia onions. Farkin delish.

Unless they were recently imported from Mexico, in which case they are invidaliad.


Vidalia onions are from Vidalia Georgia so, not an issue.
 
2021-10-21 9:49:48 AM  
Throwing live hand grenades out in the regular garbage seem a tad dangerous.  You be better off calling EOD or the police bomb squad.  Or better yet, take them to a safe place in the woods and have fun playing Battle of the Bulge.
 
2021-10-21 9:51:05 AM  
I'm making Onion Dip this week. I think after 2 hours on the stove they should be fine.
 
2021-10-21 9:52:21 AM  
Do I throw out my Waya Waya onions?  They're spelt 'Walla Walla'.
 
2021-10-21 9:52:46 AM  

king of vegas: I bought white and red onions at Aldi yesterday. They don't say where they're from. Is this really something I have you worry about? Wanted to make guac.


So what are the onions for, Bloody Marys?

/ avocado
// garlic
/// lemon
 
2021-10-21 9:56:02 AM  

macadamnut: king of vegas: I bought white and red onions at Aldi yesterday. They don't say where they're from. Is this really something I have you worry about? Wanted to make guac.

So what are the onions for, Bloody Marys?

/ avocado
// garlic
/// lemon


Bloody Mary's are also an abomination. Whoever came up with that drink needs to be shot. I'd rather swallow my own urine.
 
2021-10-21 9:56:04 AM  

REDARMYVODKA: Onions are an abomination. Like the platypus.


How dare you bring Obama into this, misspell his name, and compare his nation to a Platypus!
 
2021-10-21 9:59:05 AM  
Look I know it's out of vogue not to take CDC advice but cooking makes things contaminated with salmonella safe to eat. According to this conspiracy theory site I found. https://www.cdc.gov/foodsafety/commun​i​cation/salmonella-food.html

/just clean your prep surfaces and knives and dont eat raw onions for a while
 
2021-10-21 10:02:05 AM  

Abox: I have 20 year old onion powder does that count


So you know where the onions came from that got turned into a powder?
 
2021-10-21 10:02:52 AM  
I haven't bought an onion in years.  So there.
 
2021-10-21 10:03:59 AM  
I'm just gonna eat a lot of them.  That way I'll get natural immunity, and I can just treat the salmonella with therapeutics.  Don't let Big Onion tell you what to do!
 
2021-10-21 10:07:53 AM  
I just checked the tag on the bag of onions in my cupboard.  They're from The Potato King, so, umm, I guess I'm OK?

/That explains why the onions have eyes
//The onions were in the cupboard, and I saw the onions, and one of the onions looked at me
 
2021-10-21 10:08:21 AM  

REDARMYVODKA: Onions are an abomination. Like the platypus.

/Despises onions unless they are in ring or bloomin' form



Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-21 10:12:39 AM  
I was literally getting ready to go to the store to buy onions. Just a cart full of onions.

Wtf.
 
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