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(KIRO-7 Seattle)   We know what Lawrence would do with one million dollars. Florida Man keeps it real and upgrades his toothbrush   (kiro7.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Toothbrush, Mega Millions, Brian Nelson, Multi-State Lottery Association, Gold Rush, Powerball, California Gold Rush, Orlando, Florida  
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2579 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Oct 2021 at 1:41 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



28 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-10-20 9:16:28 PM  
And you can tell it was invented in Florida because anywhere else would have called it a teethbrush
 
2021-10-21 1:47:31 AM  
Seems like a smart kid. On the other hand the fiancé is pushing for marriage now.
 
2021-10-21 1:55:11 AM  
Aside from that, she'll be able to upgrade from a dildo to a vibrator.
 
2021-10-21 1:55:50 AM  
*that was supposed to be in response to the post above*
 
2021-10-21 1:58:47 AM  
Smart man, invest in your well-being first.
 
2021-10-21 1:58:50 AM  

cretinbob: And you can tell it was invented in Florida because anywhere else would have called it a teethbrush


This is a much better joke than it should be.
 
2021-10-21 1:59:40 AM  
Blow up railroads and attack Aqaba from land?
 
2021-10-21 2:04:26 AM  
I'd find out who really killed OJ Simpson.
 
2021-10-21 2:19:46 AM  
I could use an electric comb, but the only thing holding me back is not winning the lottery.
 
2021-10-21 2:30:59 AM  
I expected Florida Man would go out and buy the biggest truck he could.  This guy sounds rather sensible.  He's 26 years old.  He could blow through that money in a few years or even a few months or he could be a bit more frugal and perhaps invest some of it.

I didn't switch to an electric toothbrush until I was much older than this guy. Mine even has Bluetooth which is really stupid. You can track your brushing with an app. You don't need the app to use it, but just try buying an electric toothbrush that doesn't want to connect to your WiFi these days.
 
2021-10-21 2:37:53 AM  

Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: Aside from that, she'll be able to upgrade from a dildo to a vibrator.


If she's frugal, she can use the electric toothbrush for that, too.
 
2021-10-21 3:50:40 AM  

evilskinnybroad: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: Aside from that, she'll be able to upgrade from a dildo to a vibrator.

If she's frugal, she can use the electric toothbrush for that, too.


Scrub the barnacles off of the little man in the boat?
 
2021-10-21 4:33:18 AM  

evilskinnybroad: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: Aside from that, she'll be able to upgrade from a dildo to a vibrator.

If she's frugal, she can use the electric toothbrush for that, too.


I tried lol it doesn't do jack
 
2021-10-21 5:05:50 AM  
A million after taxes = same life as before but with nicer luggage.
 
2021-10-21 5:08:39 AM  
Oral B Pulsar is the one I use. Currently orange.
 
2021-10-21 5:10:32 AM  
Don't forget the splurging on a good pair of flip flops.
 
2021-10-21 5:33:32 AM  
"I'm just looking forward to upgrading to an electric toothbrush and splurging on a good pair of flip flops," Nelson told lottery officials on Tuesday in a news release.

Smart man. Winning the money was easy. Keeping the money will be hard.

Nelson traveled to Tallahassee to claim his prize with his fiancée of one month, Emily Pelton, WFTV reported.

I SAID KEEPING THE MONEY WILL BE HARD, MAN!! DONT DO IT. RECONSIDER. READ SOME LITERATURE ON THE SUBJECT. ARE YOU SURE???
 
2021-10-21 6:23:38 AM  
Tactical Toothbrush
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-21 7:04:03 AM  

TheReject: Don't forget the splurging on a good pair of flip flops.


Yeah, I can't believe subby missed that.

/and what exactly is a GOOD pair of flip flops?
 
2021-10-21 8:20:53 AM  
Good answer, he was just using humor to paraphrase, none of your damned business.
 
2021-10-21 8:25:33 AM  

evilskinnybroad: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: Aside from that, she'll be able to upgrade from a dildo to a vibrator.

If she's frugal, she can use the electric toothbrush for that, too.


Milwaukee should come up with a Electric Toothbrush and a Vibrator for their 12 and 18 volt tool systems.
 
2021-10-21 8:27:20 AM  
Two chicks at once?

I pick Dr. Ruth and Sue Johanson.
 
2021-10-21 8:28:31 AM  

brainlordmesomorph: TheReject: Don't forget the splurging on a good pair of flip flops.

Yeah, I can't believe subby missed that.

/and what exactly is a GOOD pair of flip flops?


You know, the ones with the bottle opener on the bottom. Thems the Sunday go to meetin flip flops.
 
2021-10-21 8:56:54 AM  
"I'm just looking forward to upgrading to an electric toothbrush and splurging on a good pair of flip flops"

Tell me you're high without telling me you're high.
 
2021-10-21 9:18:15 AM  

Ker_Thwap: Good answer, he was just using humor to paraphrase, none of your damned business.


That was my take, and something of a metaphor for being responsible but able to spend a bit more money on it.
 
2021-10-21 10:08:53 AM  
Sounds ike a humble soul..
A perfect opportunity for the lottery to completely spoil it.
 
2021-10-21 12:42:15 PM  

Bluemoons: brainlordmesomorph: TheReject: Don't forget the splurging on a good pair of flip flops.

Yeah, I can't believe subby missed that.

/and what exactly is a GOOD pair of flip flops?

You know, the ones with the bottle opener on the bottom. Thems the Sunday go to meetin flip flops.


Well actually, Vionic (sp?) are like orthopedic flip flops for old people and fatties but they are super comfortable. Mid range pair is like 80 bucks. Last me a year or so.
 
2021-10-21 7:46:40 PM  

dittybopper: Two chicks at once?

I pick Dr. Ruth and Sue Johanson.


I understand.  This movie had a profound effect on me too:

Fark user imageView Full Size

/especially Karen Black
//She would be in her 80s by now if she hadn't died at 74.
 
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