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(Twitter)   Kids critique Dad without pandemic beard   (twitter.com) divider line
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3949 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Oct 2021 at 2:04 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-10-20 10:22:05 AM  
Original Tweet:

 
2021-10-20 1:37:12 PM  
Based on that little exchange I'm guessing he also has another type of beard.
 
2021-10-20 2:08:44 PM  

Mugato: Based on that little exchange I'm guessing he also has another type of beard.


I don't understand. Could you please explain this?
 
TWX
2021-10-20 2:11:27 PM  
That five year old shows promise in a sit-com career if his timing is good.
 
2021-10-20 2:11:57 PM  

foo monkey: Mugato: Based on that little exchange I'm guessing he also has another type of beard.

I don't understand. Could you please explain this?


At a certain age, most of your hair migrates from your head to your ass.
 
2021-10-20 2:13:36 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-20 2:13:40 PM  
Smoove B resides in the city of Cincinnati, OH, in a 10th-floor penthouse. He is a regular guest contributor at the Cincinnati Learning Annex, where he teaches the popular six-week course, "The Fundamentals Of Relationship Communication." From 1998-2001, he wrote, produced, and starred in a semi-regular cable-access cooking show that focused on breakfast.
 
2021-10-20 2:13:57 PM  
I never had facial hair of any kind pre-pandemic, but let it grow in for fun once I started working from home. I've since shaved off the pandemic beard twice and hated the smooth look both times. Also, I've grown to love how much faster it is to just shave the neckline and cheekbones rather than my whole face.
 
2021-10-20 2:14:13 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

/smoover
 
TWX
2021-10-20 2:14:44 PM  

foo monkey: Mugato: Based on that little exchange I'm guessing he also has another type of beard.

I don't understand. Could you please explain this?


Karl loses it over Lisa's beard "in my genes" comment
Youtube VEvj3Z-Yk2I


/give it about a minute and a half of playback
 
2021-10-20 2:14:46 PM  

foo monkey: Mugato: Based on that little exchange I'm guessing he also has another type of beard.

I don't understand. Could you please explain this?


There is a beard in both of the following pictures.

hellomagazine.comView Full Size


cdn.winknews.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-20 2:15:19 PM  

foo monkey: Mugato: Based on that little exchange I'm guessing he also has another type of beard.

I don't understand. Could you please explain this?


I think what he's saying is this:

A real man would've smacked the first sassy kid in the mouth after the Weeners, leading the other kid to keep his smart mouth shut if he knows what's good for him. This obvious beta cuck possible homosexual dad lets his kids walk all over him.
 
2021-10-20 2:15:51 PM  
Lots of butt talk in that conversation.
 
2021-10-20 2:15:55 PM  

TWX: That five year old shows promise in a sit-com career if his timing is good.


That five year old might get older and have hair on his butt.
 
2021-10-20 2:17:08 PM  

i_hate_your_god: foo monkey: Mugato: Based on that little exchange I'm guessing he also has another type of beard.

I don't understand. Could you please explain this?

I think what he's saying is this:

A real man would've smacked the first sassy kid in the mouth after the Weeners, leading the other kid to keep his smart mouth shut if he knows what's good for him. This obvious beta cuck possible homosexual dad lets his kids walk all over him.


☹ Forgot about the filter.
 
2021-10-20 2:19:53 PM  

ElPrimitivo: foo monkey: Mugato: Based on that little exchange I'm guessing he also has another type of beard.

I don't understand. Could you please explain this?

There is a beard in both of the following pictures.

[hellomagazine.com image 850x509]

[cdn.winknews.com image 850x575]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-20 2:20:13 PM  
Pandemic beard? I went the other way and shaved off my beard last year for the pandemic. Masks won't seal on the edges if you have a beard. Now I only have a porn stache.
 
2021-10-20 2:21:28 PM  

Walker: Lots of butt talk in that conversation.


y.yarn.coView Full Size
 
2021-10-20 2:25:35 PM  
external-preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2021-10-20 2:32:22 PM  

guestguy: [Fark user image 310x290]
[Fark user image 310x311]


my middle kid freaked the fark out when i shaved my beard.  she was 2 at the time and it was days before she would come up to me.
 
2021-10-20 2:42:55 PM  

El Mariaski: I never had facial hair of any kind pre-pandemic, but let it grow in for fun once I started working from home. I've since shaved off the pandemic beard twice and hated the smooth look both times. Also, I've grown to love how much faster it is to just shave the neckline and cheekbones rather than my whole face.


my son asked me one time why I have a beard

'cause I'm lazy is all I could come up with
 
2021-10-20 2:44:43 PM  

tom baker's scarf: guestguy: [Fark user image 310x290]
[Fark user image 310x311]

my middle kid freaked the fark out when i shaved my beard.  she was 2 at the time and it was days before she would come up to me.


I remember freaking out when my Dad shaved his mustache....I was probably 4 years old.
 
2021-10-20 2:47:57 PM  

Mugato: Based on that little exchange I'm guessing he also has another type of beard.


So you're saying he's a closeted gay man? How are you inferring that?
 
2021-10-20 2:52:26 PM  
Many of my friends have posted asking people whether they should grow/keep a beard or shave it. Almost literally every single person saying to shave it was a cishet woman. Everyone else wanted the beard.  What is it about our social conditioning that makes so many women hate beards?

I'm also reminded of mothers and grandmothers begging their male children to shave for weddings and family photos--great, so now we have a photo where I don't at all look like myself? How is that helpful?
 
2021-10-20 2:54:03 PM  

Walker: Lots of butt talk in that conversation.


Dude, kids that age talk about butts constantly.  And giggle awkwardly in the process.
 
2021-10-20 2:55:07 PM  

austerity101: Many of my friends have posted asking people whether they should grow/keep a beard or shave it. Almost literally every single person saying to shave it was a cishet woman. Everyone else wanted the beard.  What is it about our social conditioning that makes so many women hate beards?

I'm also reminded of mothers and grandmothers begging their male children to shave for weddings and family photos--great, so now we have a photo where I don't at all look like myself? How is that helpful?


Most of the women I know prefer me with a beard, but it may just be that it covers up my ugly mug.
 
2021-10-20 2:55:26 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-20 2:56:49 PM  

austerity101: Many of my friends have posted asking people whether they should grow/keep a beard or shave it. Almost literally every single person saying to shave it was a cishet woman. Everyone else wanted the beard.  What is it about our social conditioning that makes so many women hate beards?

I'm also reminded of mothers and grandmothers begging their male children to shave for weddings and family photos--great, so now we have a photo where I don't at all look like myself? How is that helpful?


Not CIShet, cispan, BUT imo Beard ok, mustache no. It's doesn't feel great during kissing/sexy times. Also I think cishets hoping for head don't want their ... Uh love juices all in their lovers beard...
 
2021-10-20 2:57:15 PM  

hobnail: austerity101: Many of my friends have posted asking people whether they should grow/keep a beard or shave it. Almost literally every single person saying to shave it was a cishet woman. Everyone else wanted the beard.  What is it about our social conditioning that makes so many women hate beards?

I'm also reminded of mothers and grandmothers begging their male children to shave for weddings and family photos--great, so now we have a photo where I don't at all look like myself? How is that helpful?

Most of the women I know prefer me with a beard, but it may just be that it covers up my ugly mug.


I should clarify that it wasn't all women saying they hated the beards, but only women.  With the exception of a tiny handful of others. Like maybe 5.
 
2021-10-20 2:57:26 PM  
I shaved and realized I'd had a denial beard.

Resulted in the biggest existential freakout I've ever had.
 
2021-10-20 2:57:55 PM  

talkyournonsense: Also I think cishets hoping for head don't want their ... Uh love juices all in their lovers beard...


Straight sex sounds really boring.
 
2021-10-20 2:58:18 PM  

Random Celebrity Insult Generator: [Fark user image 850x571]
/smoover


In high school I had a Latin teacher with a really long beard - it was his signature look. One year on the first day of class this young clean-shaven dude came in to the classroom and went to the desk at the front and we were like "who the fark is this?" I thought it was a new student goofing off and pretending to be the teacher.

He had shaved his beard... and had a real baby face and as a result he looked like he was 14.
 
2021-10-20 2:58:44 PM  
I have a beard so that I appear to have a chin.

I think beard, the other one, is a much nicer term than closet door.

However, the ambiguity means that saying you're grooming your beard can be... problematic.
 
2021-10-20 2:59:31 PM  

austerity101: hobnail: austerity101: Many of my friends have posted asking people whether they should grow/keep a beard or shave it. Almost literally every single person saying to shave it was a cishet woman. Everyone else wanted the beard.  What is it about our social conditioning that makes so many women hate beards?

I'm also reminded of mothers and grandmothers begging their male children to shave for weddings and family photos--great, so now we have a photo where I don't at all look like myself? How is that helpful?

Most of the women I know prefer me with a beard, but it may just be that it covers up my ugly mug.

I should clarify that it wasn't all women saying they hated the beards, but only women.  With the exception of a tiny handful of others. Like maybe 5.


I think you're probably right. It seems like there is a large subset of cishet women *and* men who hate beards.  I try to avoid them.
 
2021-10-20 2:59:39 PM  

JessieL: I shaved and realized I'd had a denial beard.

Resulted in the biggest existential freakout I've ever had.


I've never heard of this before. Thanks for sharing!  I hope your freakout eventually led to something better.
 
2021-10-20 3:00:51 PM  

talkyournonsense: austerity101: Many of my friends have posted asking people whether they should grow/keep a beard or shave it. Almost literally every single person saying to shave it was a cishet woman. Everyone else wanted the beard.  What is it about our social conditioning that makes so many women hate beards?

I'm also reminded of mothers and grandmothers begging their male children to shave for weddings and family photos--great, so now we have a photo where I don't at all look like myself? How is that helpful?

Not CIShet, cispan, BUT imo Beard ok, mustache no. It's doesn't feel great during kissing/sexy times. Also I think cishets hoping for head don't want their ... Uh love juices all in their lovers beard...


I disagree.  I'd much rather kiss a guy with a mustache than one with even a little stubble.
 
2021-10-20 3:01:33 PM  

Walker: Lots of butt talk in that conversation.


My nephews would argue there was not nearly enough butt talk.
 
2021-10-20 3:01:38 PM  

austerity101: JessieL: I shaved and realized I'd had a denial beard.

Resulted in the biggest existential freakout I've ever had.

I've never heard of this before. Thanks for sharing!  I hope your freakout eventually led to something better.


Thank you. It's getting there.
 
2021-10-20 3:10:09 PM  

nicoffeine: Smoove B resides in the city of Cincinnati, OH, in a 10th-floor penthouse. He is a regular guest contributor at the Cincinnati Learning Annex, where he teaches the popular six-week course, "The Fundamentals Of Relationship Communication." From 1998-2001, he wrote, produced, and starred in a semi-regular cable-access cooking show that focused on breakfast.


Dude. F*ckin A.
 
2021-10-20 3:10:46 PM  

austerity101: Many of my friends have posted asking people whether they should grow/keep a beard or shave it. Almost literally every single person saying to shave it was a cishet woman. Everyone else wanted the beard.  What is it about our social conditioning that makes so many women hate beards?

I'm also reminded of mothers and grandmothers begging their male children to shave for weddings and family photos--great, so now we have a photo where I don't at all look like myself? How is that helpful?


For years, my wife said she didn't like my beard because when I'd kiss her, it reminded her of her father. My only response was, "That sounds like less of a beard issue and more of a you issue."

And no, her father didn't molest her.
 
2021-10-20 3:12:04 PM  

austerity101: hobnail: austerity101: Many of my friends have posted asking people whether they should grow/keep a beard or shave it. Almost literally every single person saying to shave it was a cishet woman. Everyone else wanted the beard.  What is it about our social conditioning that makes so many women hate beards?

I'm also reminded of mothers and grandmothers begging their male children to shave for weddings and family photos--great, so now we have a photo where I don't at all look like myself? How is that helpful?

Most of the women I know prefer me with a beard, but it may just be that it covers up my ugly mug.

I should clarify that it wasn't all women saying they hated the beards, but only women.  With the exception of a tiny handful of others. Like maybe 5.


OOOOOOHHHHH. Someone has more than five friends. Show-off.
 
2021-10-20 3:12:55 PM  

foo monkey: austerity101: Many of my friends have posted asking people whether they should grow/keep a beard or shave it. Almost literally every single person saying to shave it was a cishet woman. Everyone else wanted the beard.  What is it about our social conditioning that makes so many women hate beards?

I'm also reminded of mothers and grandmothers begging their male children to shave for weddings and family photos--great, so now we have a photo where I don't at all look like myself? How is that helpful?

For years, my wife said she didn't like my beard because when I'd kiss her, it reminded her of her father. My only response was, "That sounds like less of a beard issue and more of a you issue."

And no, her father didn't molest her.


Well. Either not enough or too much, anyway but probably not "none"
 
2021-10-20 3:16:43 PM  

Mugato: Based on that little exchange I'm guessing he also has another type of beard.


I'm like 80% sure this is homophobia? But I'm absolutely clueless as to what it's based on from the tweet?
 
2021-10-20 3:26:18 PM  

talkyournonsense: austerity101: Many of my friends have posted asking people whether they should grow/keep a beard or shave it. Almost literally every single person saying to shave it was a cishet woman. Everyone else wanted the beard.  What is it about our social conditioning that makes so many women hate beards?

I'm also reminded of mothers and grandmothers begging their male children to shave for weddings and family photos--great, so now we have a photo where I don't at all look like myself? How is that helpful?

Not CIShet, cispan, BUT imo Beard ok, mustache no. It's doesn't feel great during kissing/sexy times. Also I think cishets hoping for head don't want their ... Uh love juices all in their lovers beard...


They don't call it a flavor saver for nuthin'.
 
2021-10-20 3:28:44 PM  

austerity101: Many of my friends have posted asking people whether they should grow/keep a beard or shave it. Almost literally every single person saying to shave it was a cishet woman. Everyone else wanted the beard.  What is it about our social conditioning that makes so many women hate beards?

I'm also reminded of mothers and grandmothers begging their male children to shave for weddings and family photos--great, so now we have a photo where I don't at all look like myself? How is that helpful?


They are rough on the face when you kiss. In really cold weather, your breath condenses and freezes on them as well, so kissing you is like scrubbing my face with a wet SOS pad.

/Not just women - I dressed as a guy for Halloween once and put on 5 o Clock shadow, and my boyfriend wouldn't kiss me until I took it off.
 
2021-10-20 3:30:10 PM  

austerity101: Many of my friends have posted asking people whether they should grow/keep a beard or shave it. Almost literally every single person saying to shave it was a cishet woman. Everyone else wanted the beard.  What is it about our social conditioning that makes so many women hate beards?

I'm also reminded of mothers and grandmothers begging their male children to shave for weddings and family photos--great, so now we have a photo where I don't at all look like myself? How is that helpful?


As a cis woman, we tell you to shave it because most straight men do not care enough to take care of it, comb food out of it, trim it daily or wash and oil it. You don't smell it because you got used to it, but when we go to kiss you, your face smells like hot summer roadkill, gym socks and stale coffee.
 
2021-10-20 3:30:59 PM  

i_hate_your_god: i_hate_your_god: foo monkey: Mugato: Based on that little exchange I'm guessing he also has another type of beard.

I don't understand. Could you please explain this?

I think what he's saying is this:

A real man would've smacked the first sassy kid in the mouth after the Weeners, leading the other kid to keep his smart mouth shut if he knows what's good for him. This obvious beta cuck possible homosexual dad lets his kids walk all over him.

☹ Forgot about the filter.


No you didn't.
 
2021-10-20 3:32:39 PM  

talkyournonsense: austerity101: Many of my friends have posted asking people whether they should grow/keep a beard or shave it. Almost literally every single person saying to shave it was a cishet woman. Everyone else wanted the beard.  What is it about our social conditioning that makes so many women hate beards?

I'm also reminded of mothers and grandmothers begging their male children to shave for weddings and family photos--great, so now we have a photo where I don't at all look like myself? How is that helpful?

Not CIShet, cispan, BUT imo Beard ok, mustache no. It's doesn't feel great during kissing/sexy times. Also I think cishets hoping for head don't want their ... Uh love juices all in their lovers beard...


I thought the "sea foam" in my beard was just a sign that they had a good time...

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
2021-10-20 3:43:53 PM  
What about pandemic bread?
brainlesstales.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-20 3:44:24 PM  

BooksontheBrain: austerity101: Many of my friends have posted asking people whether they should grow/keep a beard or shave it. Almost literally every single person saying to shave it was a cishet woman. Everyone else wanted the beard.  What is it about our social conditioning that makes so many women hate beards?

I'm also reminded of mothers and grandmothers begging their male children to shave for weddings and family photos--great, so now we have a photo where I don't at all look like myself? How is that helpful?

As a cis woman, we tell you to shave it because most straight men do not care enough to take care of it, comb food out of it, trim it daily or wash and oil it. You don't smell it because you got used to it, but when we go to kiss you, your face smells like hot summer roadkill, gym socks and stale coffee.


There's some stuff I didn't know. I mean, I take decent care of mine, but I didn't realize it could smell.
 
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