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(Fark)   You've invented a way to telepathically broadcast a single message, up to ten words, simultaneously to everyone on Earth. This will only work for one message. What will your message be?   (fark.com) divider line
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141 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 19 Oct 2021 at 9:23 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



116 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-10-19 7:31:09 PM  
There are no Gods.  Grow the fark up.
 
2021-10-19 7:33:05 PM  
Drink your Ovaltine.
 
2021-10-19 7:33:35 PM  
Broadcast telepathically! Learn how at oobydoobydooby.com
 
2021-10-19 7:33:57 PM  
"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down"

From there I imagine I just watch everything burn?
 
2021-10-19 7:34:16 PM  
Gratitude plus forgiveness equals happiness
 
2021-10-19 7:35:43 PM  
Show me your genitals. Show me your genitals.

GENITALIA!!!!

/still have one word left!!
 
2021-10-19 7:36:00 PM  
My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Terrible!
 
2021-10-19 7:37:48 PM  
We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty.
 
2021-10-19 7:39:07 PM  
Don't be an assohole, and take care of each other.
 
2021-10-19 7:39:40 PM  
Fix what you broke, motherfarker.
 
2021-10-19 7:40:21 PM  
This is God. Stop playing with yourself.
 
2021-10-19 7:41:40 PM  
Earth will explode in 30 seconds.  Have a nice day!!
 
2021-10-19 7:41:51 PM  
"This is God. Republicans are satan's followers. Democrats are mine."

And then watch the religious ones lose their goddamn minds.
 
2021-10-19 7:42:23 PM  
Don't forget to drink your ovaltine.
 
2021-10-19 7:44:28 PM  

dildo tontine: Don't forget to drink your ovaltine.


DAMMIT
 
2021-10-19 7:46:04 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-19 7:53:32 PM  
Buttplugs
 
2021-10-19 8:05:14 PM  
Be kind.  Rewind.
 
2021-10-19 8:09:19 PM  
I saw what you did.
 
2021-10-19 8:16:49 PM  
THAT'S what you chose to wear?!
 
2021-10-19 8:26:39 PM  
Quit being dicks.
 
2021-10-19 8:28:31 PM  
Surrender Dorothy.
 
2021-10-19 8:38:23 PM  
Hi. I'm god. You're all doing it wrong. Change now.
 
2021-10-19 8:42:17 PM  
You must dedicate your life toward waiting for the next
 
2021-10-19 8:42:26 PM  
Visit my Go Fund Me page! (url)
 
2021-10-19 8:43:13 PM  

blastoh: Hi. I'm god. You're all doing it wrong. Change now.


Ahh, but you see, that's an issue. It goes to EVERYONE. Suddenly sinners become saints, but also saints become sinners. If I abstained from every vice, and a voice I can plainly hear tells me to change now, I'm vicing it up like Vegas with a kilo of coke.
 
2021-10-19 9:00:42 PM  
Testing, testing, testing.  One, two, three.  Is this thing on?
 
2021-10-19 9:16:07 PM  
Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Stop hitting me.  Wait are we sending?
 
2021-10-19 9:16:44 PM  
FREEEEEEBIIIIIRD!
 
2021-10-19 9:29:05 PM  
Eskimo
 
2021-10-19 9:34:50 PM  
"Last chance before I start over! Clean up this planet!"
 
2021-10-19 9:34:52 PM  
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size

Just... seriously, just stop being dicks. That's all.
 
2021-10-19 9:40:20 PM  
I can't think of a message that would really help so I'd be in talks with large companies.

This is 2017 spending on ads, but it gives you an idea of who I might talk to first:

10. Samsung Electronics - $2.41 billion
9. Alphabet, Inc. - $2.41 billion
8. Charter Communications - $2.42 billion
7. Ford Motor Company - $2.45 billion
6. Verizon Communications - $2.64 billion
5. General Motors - $3.24 billion
4. Amazon - $3.38 billion
3. AT&T - $3.52 billion
2. Procter & Gamble - $4.39 billion
1. Comcast Corp. - $5.75 billion


/According to the internet anyway - no doubt all those spend a shiat-ton on advertising.
 
2021-10-19 9:42:00 PM  
Can't move, need advice, soonish.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-19 9:46:50 PM  
Send $1 to edmo for good luck.
 
2021-10-19 9:47:47 PM  
res.cloudinary.comView Full Size


miro.medium.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-19 9:56:43 PM  

edmo: Send $1 to edmo for good luck.


Ooh, that's good.  I was thinking along the lines of:

"Nartreb is a great lover --  nartreb 是伟大的情人 "

/exactly ten words
//Might go with a different choice of languages - those have the highest numbers, but I'd probably want to weight by geographic proximity.
 
2021-10-19 10:02:30 PM  
The secret to living a happy life is to always
 
2021-10-19 10:04:02 PM  

My Sober Alt: I can't think of a message that would really help so I'd be in talks with large companies.

This is 2017 spending on ads, but it gives you an idea of who I might talk to first:

10. Samsung Electronics - $2.41 billion
9. Alphabet, Inc. - $2.41 billion
8. Charter Communications - $2.42 billion
7. Ford Motor Company - $2.45 billion
6. Verizon Communications - $2.64 billion
5. General Motors - $3.24 billion
4. Amazon - $3.38 billion
3. AT&T - $3.52 billion
2. Procter & Gamble - $4.39 billion
1. Comcast Corp. - $5.75 billion

/According to the internet anyway - no doubt all those spend a shiat-ton on advertising.


This. Message would would probably look like:

Drink Coke. Ford moves you. Amazon for life. Samsung's cool!

I'd better have several hundred million dollars after that.

Before caving to money, I'd consider:

Stop believing without good evidence , only science can save you.

Watson, come here, I have something important to tell you.

USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

Party at Drew's house today, at 123 streetname, cityname. Come!
 
2021-10-19 10:04:02 PM  
"Herbie Goes Bananas" is playing at the Rep Theater Friday.
 
2021-10-19 10:08:06 PM  
Nothing happens post-death. Live for now. Leave a respectful legacy.
 
2021-10-19 10:16:50 PM  
Does it automatically get translated into everyone's native language?

If so, then I'm going with:

I see what you're doing. Knock it off, you jackass.

/well, if they can hear me in their heads, how do they know I'm not WAY more powerful than that?
 
2021-10-19 10:19:48 PM  
So long and thanks for all the fish.
 
2021-10-19 10:26:30 PM  
Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it,  wait
 
2021-10-19 10:28:34 PM  
Pooh's government getting wealthy. Why no freedom, voting, for you?
 
2021-10-19 10:31:14 PM  
It's a great honor and I'd just like to say
 
2021-10-19 10:31:36 PM  
Irrelevant
 
2021-10-19 10:35:57 PM  
I need to send ZMugg a dollar.
 
2021-10-19 10:36:56 PM  
Has anybody seen my keys?
 
2021-10-19 10:37:53 PM  
We're busted - get out before the police get there!
 
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