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(Twitter)   The best argument for why it is better to go to Hell than to Heaven you'll see all year (Alternate headline: Gee, I bet this guy is a blast at parties)   (twitter.com) divider line
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481 clicks; posted to Discussion » and Main » on 19 Oct 2021 at 3:20 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-10-19 2:38:20 PM  
Original Tweet:

 
2021-10-19 2:45:17 PM  
Surprised he wasn't wearing a MAGA hat to complete the troll job.
 
2021-10-19 2:46:24 PM  
I have told people like this "If you're what I can expect in heaven, I'll gladly go to hell".
 
2021-10-19 2:47:41 PM  
Give it a year and these f*cker will be riding around in pick trucks with lots of flags carrying bazookas.
 
2021-10-19 2:49:01 PM  
The look on that guys face as he reads that list: "Awwwwwwwww f*ck! I knew it!"
 
2021-10-19 2:51:39 PM  
Incel meeting ad?
 
2021-10-19 2:53:10 PM  
azquotes.comView Full Size


Also LMFAO at these people having their head's so far up their own asses they think even the Pope can't get into heaven.
 
2021-10-19 2:55:38 PM  

HallsOfMandos: [azquotes.com image 525x247]

Also LMFAO at these people having their heads so far up their own asses they think even the Pope can't get into heaven.


FTFM
 
2021-10-19 2:56:16 PM  
His therapist is already planning a new addition to the summer house.
 
2021-10-19 2:56:39 PM  
The irony here is that Jesus said specifically it's easier for that list of people to get into heaven than it is for the guy holding the sign.

Maybe I don't mean irony, but you get the idea.
 
2021-10-19 2:58:11 PM  
Having grown up among the evangelicals, I am pretty convinced that a lot of them are actually terrified of Heaven, (but can't admit that for obvious reasons.)

I have a distinct memory as a relatively well-indoctrinated child of a particularly tedious worship service (think repeating 'Our God is an Awesome God' 500 times) when the pastor said "Wasn't that great? Y'Know, this is what heaven is going to be like. I could go, five, ten thousand years praising Jesus without a break."

...and in spite of all my conditioning, I was horrified, then horrified at the fact that I repulsed by the idea.

Anyway, "No booze or sex and never-ending church with people like us" isn't the advertising for Heaven that the fundagelicals seem to think it is.

/ Also, fundie teenagers are terrified at the idea that they will die/get raptured before they have sex
 
2021-10-19 3:08:15 PM  
Nope
Nope
I haven't shiat in the woods lately, so nope.
Yes
Yes
Buff, yes. Obsessed, nope.
Hell yeah
Actually I'm a LGBTQIA supporter
I have a penis and identify as a man, so nope.
Masturbator? Of course
Yeah, man
Nope
Nope
Nope
Lover? Nope. Occasional consumer? Yes.
The only dick I like is my own, so nope.
I just never got into gaming, so nope
I'm happily married, so nope.
I don't play casino games; just poker. So...nope?
I don't give it enough thought to hate it, so nope.
 
2021-10-19 3:10:21 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: Having grown up among the evangelicals, I am pretty convinced that a lot of them are actually terrified of Heaven, (but can't admit that for obvious reasons.)

I have a distinct memory as a relatively well-indoctrinated child of a particularly tedious worship service (think repeating 'Our God is an Awesome God' 500 times) when the pastor said "Wasn't that great? Y'Know, this is what heaven is going to be like. I could go, five, ten thousand years praising Jesus without a break."

...and in spite of all my conditioning, I was horrified, then horrified at the fact that I repulsed by the idea.

Anyway, "No booze or sex and never-ending church with people like us" isn't the advertising for Heaven that the fundagelicals seem to think it is.

/ Also, fundie teenagers are terrified at the idea that they will die/get raptured before they have sex


To paraphrase Julie McCullogh, the actress that Kirk Cameron had fired from Growing Pains because she did a Playboy shoot, "if he is what it takes to get into Heaven, then I'd rather party with the sinners than weep with the saints".
 
2021-10-19 3:10:24 PM  
Contentious woman? Outstanding! What if someone is a softcore gamer who just kind of likes p0rn and is indifferent concerning the Bible? That sign creates more questions than it answers.

/I like to imagine the guy on the right is saying, "Damn, son. What's the hell's wrong with you?"
 
2021-10-19 3:11:00 PM  
Martian_Astronomer:

Happy for your recovery MA
 
2021-10-19 3:23:25 PM  
I mean, it's all pretty bizarre, but "no sports buff enters heaven?"  Really?  Why does Jesus hate sports so much?  Is it because professional athletes sometimes pat each other on the ass or something?
 
2021-10-19 3:25:30 PM  
I have friends in both places.
 
2021-10-19 3:27:24 PM  
Well it's a good thing both places are made up fairy tale bullshiat isn't it
 
2021-10-19 3:30:49 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: Having grown up among the evangelicals, I am pretty convinced that a lot of them are actually terrified of Heaven, (but can't admit that for obvious reasons.)


They're terrified of arriving at Heaven, and confronting St. Peter.

They know what they did.  Their evangelism is projected denial.
 
2021-10-19 3:32:25 PM  

LawPD: Well it's a good thing both places are made up fairy tale bullshiat isn't it


For now.

If you give these assholes half a chance, they'll invent Hell just so they can send you there.

images-na.ssl-images-amazon.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-19 3:37:01 PM  
That's the fun thing about Christianity: everyone gets to make their own list. This man's list of who gets into Heaven is just as valid as everyone else's.  The Christians who disagree with his list aren't arguing he can't have one, they just think their list is better.
 
2021-10-19 3:37:09 PM  
I'm just wondering how that kid ended up in a yellow durag.
 
2021-10-19 3:37:15 PM  
If christians are correct, and only people like them end up in heaven, then spending any time in heaven must be pure hell to experience.
 
2021-10-19 3:40:10 PM  

NewportBarGuy: The look on that guys face as he reads that list: "Awwwwwwwww f*ck! I knew it!"


He's thinking, "Well, at least I ain't the Pope."
 
2021-10-19 3:41:41 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: Having grown up among the evangelicals, I am pretty convinced that a lot of them are actually terrified of Heaven, (but can't admit that for obvious reasons.)

I have a distinct memory as a relatively well-indoctrinated child of a particularly tedious worship service (think repeating 'Our God is an Awesome God' 500 times) when the pastor said "Wasn't that great? Y'Know, this is what heaven is going to be like. I could go, five, ten thousand years praising Jesus without a break."

...and in spite of all my conditioning, I was horrified, then horrified at the fact that I repulsed by the idea.

Anyway, "No booze or sex and never-ending church with people like us" isn't the advertising for Heaven that the fundagelicals seem to think it is.

/ Also, fundie teenagers are terrified at the idea that they will die/get raptured before they have sex


What terrifies me is the utter lack of free will. I've been told countless times that our free will is what allows sin. I've also been told that there is no sin in heaven.

If there's no sin in heaven, then people aren't even allowed to THINK freely (as I have also been told that even thinking impure/bad thoughts is itself a sin).

BUT, there must be sin in heaven, as Lucifer's sin was pride, which he committed in Heaven before being cast out. And if there is sin in heaven, then it is not perfect.

It makes no sense!
 
2021-10-19 3:47:15 PM  

scottydoesntknow: What terrifies me is the utter lack of free will. I've been told countless times that our free will is what allows sin. I've also been told that there is no sin in heaven.

If there's no sin in heaven, then people aren't even allowed to THINK freely (as I have also been told that even thinking impure/bad thoughts is itself a sin).

BUT, there must be sin in heaven, as Lucifer's sin was pride, which he committed in Heaven before being cast out. And if there is sin in heaven, then it is not perfect.

It makes no sense!


The other way this discussion goes sometimes is that there is Free Will in heaven, but it's perfect Free Will, like God's, where you could conceivably sin but choose not to because you've allowed God to purify your character.

....but, if it's possible to have Free Will without sin, they why all this mess in the first place?

TL;DR: scottydoesntknow: It makes no sense!
 
2021-10-19 3:50:07 PM  
I scored 13
 
2021-10-19 3:50:33 PM  
"I think hell has all the good bands anyway"
 
2021-10-19 3:51:05 PM  
Revelations 21:27 Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life.

Explain to me how hardcore gamers are impure, while filthy casuals get the green light?
 
2021-10-19 3:51:54 PM  

SurfaceTension: Nope
Nope
I haven't shiat in the woods lately, so nope.
Yes
Yes
Buff, yes. Obsessed, nope.
Hell yeah
Actually I'm a LGBTQIA supporter
I have a penis and identify as a man, so nope.
Masturbator? Of course
Yeah, man
Nope
Nope
Nope
Lover? Nope. Occasional consumer? Yes.
The only dick I like is my own, so nope.
I just never got into gaming, so nope
I'm happily married, so nope.
I don't play casino games; just poker. So...nope?
I don't give it enough thought to hate it, so nope.


Good idea.  Now let's check in on which of those apply to Donald Trump, since you just know that this guy is a Trumper like most evangelical dipshiats are:

-Oh hell yeah. Believe me!
-Are you farking kidding?  Obviously so.
-Nope.
-Mostly likely.  Two Corinthians!  Though he now denies it.
-Depends on when you ask.
-Owned a "football team" and often makes guest appearances at WWF events--does that count?  Also plays like 200 rounds of golf per year.
-Yes, the son of biatch.
-No, though his son-in-law seems like a bit of a twink and he seems to like him OK.
-No.  His penis may be small but we're told that it exists, and he seems to identify as cisgender male.
-Yes, in every sense of the word.  In fact, he's the only person he truly loves.
-Unlikely.  Though Adderall, Sudafed, and unknown other (sniiiifff!!) stimulants are apparently OK in heaven.
-Definitely not.
-Not in the literal sense, anyway.  Though not entirely sure about the nature of his relationship with Putin.
-Supposedly a non-drinker, and Diet Coke doesn't count.  Does own a "winery" and tried to market a Trump-branded vodka though.
-Sure, and takes it a step further by paying to personally bang porn starts rather than just watching others do it.
-Apparently only bangs female porn stars rather than male ones, so perhaps not.  Though again, he does seem very attracted to Vladimir Putin. (Anyway, more of a consumer of prostitution than a provider of it.)
-Nope, prefers to spend his time watching the Gorilla Channel.
-Are you kidding?!?  Obviously.
-Dunno if holding it upside down while waving it around qualifies as "hate," so perhaps not.
 
2021-10-19 3:58:12 PM  

Stephen_Falken: I scored 13


I only got 11.5.

I don't lie, anymore.

(But being an alcoholic, I'm damn good at it.)
 
2021-10-19 4:00:59 PM  

Garza and the Supermutants: Revelations 21:27 Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life.

Explain to me how hardcore gamers are impure, while filthy casuals get the green light?


Are you talking about Fark versus TF?
 
2021-10-19 4:04:46 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-19 4:05:51 PM  
Ancient Jews didn't believe you went to Heaven when you died, you went to Sheol until everyone gets resurrected.

Jesus was an ancient Jew.
 
2021-10-19 4:06:06 PM  

Troy Aikman's Giant Thumbs: That's the fun thing about Christianity: everyone gets to make their own list. This man's list of who gets into Heaven is just as valid as everyone else's.  The Christians who disagree with his list aren't arguing he can't have one, they just think their list is better.


Some examples of my ever growing list of people who are going to Hell:

- MAGAts
- Murderers
- Rapists
- Sports fans who excuse rapist atheletes (especially applicable to small town high school football athlete rapists)
- People who leave their shopping carts rolling around the grocery store parking lots
- Ron Miller and Kenneth Hirsch (the songwriters for I've Never Been To Me)
- The maintenance man who runs his leaf blower past my bedroom window at 7 am.

And most of of all, the single worst person in recorded history. Sandy farking Duncan. That one-eyed Triscuit eating biatch!
 
2021-10-19 4:07:45 PM  

bostonguy: Garza and the Supermutants: Revelations 21:27 Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life.

Explain to me how hardcore gamers are impure, while filthy casuals get the green light?

Are you talking about Fark versus TF?


TFers go to Fark Heaven, where the drinks are comped, the squirrels are well-endowed, and there are no slatted chairs.
 
2021-10-19 4:10:53 PM  

blastoh: [Fark user image 425x560]


Okay.

Trick it is, then.
 
2021-10-19 4:11:17 PM  

blastoh: [Fark user image image 425x560]


Translation: PLEASE EGG MY ENTIRE HOUSE!
 
2021-10-19 4:17:19 PM  

blastoh: [Fark user image 425x560]


Still not as bad as the woman from over fifteen years ago who put a sign on her front door saying that she would refuse candy to kids she deemed were "too fat". IIRC, it was a really nasty "fat shaming" note.
 
2021-10-19 4:25:28 PM  
This, right here, is why I'm going to marry Siraj Hashmi:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-19 4:28:31 PM  
Still waiting for the verdicts on sportos, motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads... and Simone.
 
2021-10-19 4:36:01 PM  

BretMavrik: and Simone


She's OK, of course. She's a Trumper now.
 
2021-10-19 4:39:11 PM  

PreMortem: Ancient Jews didn't believe you went to Heaven when you died, you went to Sheol until everyone gets resurrected.


Eh, it's a little more complicated than that.

FYI, for those who are interested:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Univers​a​l_resurrection#Rabbinic_Judaism_and_Sa​maritanism
 
2021-10-19 5:10:55 PM  
Once you accept the fact you are going to hell it takes a lot of pressure out of your life.
 
2021-10-19 5:15:42 PM  

blastoh: [Fark user image 425x560]


I've had it with these patrotic Chri$tians.
 
2021-10-19 5:35:53 PM  
All the Popes who pass by and see that sign are going to be so disappoint that they aren't going to make it.
 
2021-10-19 6:04:46 PM  
That's weird.  I saw that picture and immediately assumed he was a Steelers fan.  Has anyone deciphered his shirt yet, because "Sports" isn't something you can care about and go to heaven apparently.
 
2021-10-19 6:07:35 PM  
Christianity is weird
 
2021-10-19 6:57:08 PM  

Weaver95: Christianity is weird


Actually, if you sit down and read what Jesus tried to preach, Christianiaty is pretty kick ass. In a nutshell, it's pretty much, "hey, let's all treat each other as equals and extend a helping hand to those less fortunate than ourselves". There is also a hefty dolllop of "fark the rich" as gravy on the top.

It's the Christians that are bat shiat insane.

Bronies bear closer resemblance to true Chritianity than most Christians today.
 
2021-10-19 7:01:03 PM  
There's no Pope in heaven? Reminds me of a story... took care of an old timer once that was in the service, he said he was taken to a base in the south for training and the day he got there the city had a KKK parade (mind you, this was the 50s or 60s). He said that they had a sign that read: "No k*kes, k*ons, or katholics". I never could figure how a generation of Catholics have come into that side of things...

/csb
//ramble on...
///back in my day...
 
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