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(The Smoking Gun)   Hey, at least he wore protection   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Cocaine, Sexual intercourse, rear of an ambulance, Criminal law, presence of first responders, Crime, complaint of shortness of breath, Emergency medical technician  
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6454 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Oct 2021 at 1:50 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



33 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-10-18 1:32:45 PM  
And masturbated with an ice pack, rendering "I was in the pool!!" as an excuse irrelevant.
 
2021-10-18 1:54:26 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-18 1:54:46 PM  
Probably figured that since he was spending hundreds of dollars for a single ride that he had some rights.
 
2021-10-18 1:55:19 PM  
Naked and masturbating for first responders apparently IS a way to go through life, son.
 
2021-10-18 1:56:30 PM  
Code blue balls
 
2021-10-18 1:59:43 PM  
Did the cost of the $500 ice pack and $10,000 ambulance ride come out of pocket?
 
2021-10-18 2:00:48 PM  
Obvious alert!!!
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Not his fault. They have better looking drivers now.
 
2021-10-18 2:02:02 PM  
What the hell is wrong with some people!
Taking offense like that.
 
2021-10-18 2:08:32 PM  
Oh, Florida. That explains it.
 
2021-10-18 2:13:47 PM  
A woman does this and she gets a contract.
 
2021-10-18 2:14:42 PM  
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2021-10-18 2:22:00 PM  

Katwang: Did the cost of the $500 ice pack and $10,000 ambulance ride come out of pocket?


What pocket?   ....oh GAWD
 
2021-10-18 2:22:15 PM  
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2021-10-18 2:27:10 PM  
After summoning an EMT crew with a complaint of shortness of breath, a Florida Man got "fully naked" in the rear of an ambulance and began masturbating "in the presence of first responders," according to police who say the suspect wore a condom and used an ice pack while pleasuring himself.

Was he really "fully naked" if he was wearing a condom?
 
2021-10-18 2:30:03 PM  
exposure? organs?

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2021-10-18 2:30:35 PM  

Nicki Minaj's Cousin's Friend's Swollen Testicle: After summoning an EMT crew with a complaint of shortness of breath, a Florida Man got "fully naked" in the rear of an ambulance and began masturbating "in the presence of first responders," according to police who say the suspect wore a condom and used an ice pack while pleasuring himself.

Was he really "fully naked" if he was wearing a condom?


You're never fully dressed without a smile!
 
2021-10-18 2:46:32 PM  

Katwang: Did the cost of the $500 ice pack and $10,000 ambulance ride come out of pocket?


That bill will never be paid.
 
2021-10-18 2:51:34 PM  
Hey, if a man can't call 911 and get an ambulance solely for the purpose of masturbating inside while an EMT watches, then what's life all about?
 
2021-10-18 2:52:55 PM  

KodosZardoz: Hey, if a man can't call 911 and get an ambulance solely for the purpose of masturbating inside while an EMT watches, then what's life all about?


Land of the free, my ass!
 
2021-10-18 3:01:28 PM  
Maybe he misunderstood the 'Nurses don't make me draw my own blood samples, why would I draw my own....'
 
2021-10-18 3:05:54 PM  
media-amazon.comView Full Size


/it was a while before I realized Raquel Welch's character was "Mother" and not "Jugs"
 
2021-10-18 3:08:30 PM  
He took a little too much Molly? Or not enough?
 
2021-10-18 3:10:44 PM  
EMTs should've brought out the paddles.
 
2021-10-18 3:22:33 PM  

hammettman: EMTs should've brought out the paddles.


Hell yeah!
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2021-10-18 3:24:14 PM  
the suspect wore a condom and used an ice pack while pleasuring himself...
and i thought the last girlfriend was cold...

she's so cold,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jo34V​h​fcetU
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2021-10-18 3:25:39 PM  
Die empty.
 
2021-10-18 3:40:40 PM  
Well if you're gonna get farked with the cost of an ambulance ride, might as well get farked.
 
2021-10-18 3:42:27 PM  
At some point as the ambulance traveled in St. Petersburg, Majors "asked for an ice pack," which he then "proceeded to fold...and masturbate with" while en route to the hospital.

And then they gave him the ice pack?
 
2021-10-18 3:48:03 PM  

jaivirtualcard: At some point as the ambulance traveled in St. Petersburg, Majors "asked for an ice pack," which he then "proceeded to fold...and masturbate with" while en route to the hospital.

And then they gave him the ice pack?


I think curiosity alone would compel them to hand him whatever he was asking for just to see how he planned to incorporate it.
 
2021-10-18 3:54:12 PM  

jaivirtualcard: At some point as the ambulance traveled in St. Petersburg, Majors "asked for an ice pack," which he then "proceeded to fold...and masturbate with" while en route to the hospital.


It's like he's had some experience farking ice packs before.

/crack is whack
 
2021-10-18 3:57:31 PM  
That's the Trojan Horse of ambulance rides right there.
 
2021-10-18 8:08:46 PM  
I've masturbated in many ways
With a sock
In my bunk listening to funk
Left handed on a bus
Crouching down in the sand
With a frown
But never with an ice pack
That is whack
/ got nuthin'
 
2021-10-18 8:11:01 PM  
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