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(Food 52)   OR, "Why I hate life"   (food52.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, French fries, Mayonnaise, Potato, Va Deguster La France, way cat people, good Breton butter, best friend, Franois-Rgis Gaudry  
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1133 clicks; posted to Food » on 17 Oct 2021 at 11:38 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



50 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-10-17 11:43:33 AM  
Author was dipping em in mayo.

Her argument is completely invalid.
 
2021-10-17 11:51:08 AM  
I don't care why you don't like fries and I'm certainly not reading all that to find out.
 
2021-10-17 11:51:13 AM  
*shrug* I would say the Larousse Gastronomique is the French cooking bible

Also here is a picture of the journalist from a couple years ago:
devourparisfoodtours.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-17 11:51:23 AM  
Author is a bland plate of nothing.
 
2021-10-17 12:00:32 PM  

abhorrent1: I don't care why you don't like fries and I'm certainly not reading all that to find out.


"I don't like fries but I totally steal my husband's" and then like 12 pages of drek. paid by the word?
 
2021-10-17 12:02:11 PM  

johnny_vegas: *shrug* I would say the Larousse Gastronomique is the French cooking bible

Also here is a picture of the journalist from a couple years ago:
[devourparisfoodtours.com image 300x300]


plus the hell even is that on her plate, way-overcooked tendies?
 
2021-10-17 12:21:19 PM  
Did she describe having dinner with The Village People?
I just sort of skimmed the article.
 
2021-10-17 12:40:48 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


appears someone's editor wanted a hot take.
 
2021-10-17 12:47:05 PM  
ctrl+f "Mayo".
"They were, as far as I could tell, very good fries: thin but not spindly, with a golden brown, crispy exterior giving way to a soft, bordering on creamy, interior. We ordered them with two sauces: mayonnaise and "Samurai," "

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-17 12:47:26 PM  

johnny_vegas: *shrug* I would say the Larousse Gastronomique is the French cooking bible

Also here is a picture of the journalist from a couple years ago:
[devourparisfoodtours.com image 300x300]


Larousse Gastrinomique is an awesome cooking resource. Anyone serious about cooking should have a copy.

As for French fries, they are overrated. Good? Sure. But not the best potato. German fries or texmex style papas can fulfill the same need and do more.
 
2021-10-17 12:48:52 PM  

Axeofjudgement: Author was dipping em in mayo.

Her argument is completely invalid.


I dunno. Having encountered too many weird, disappointing fries on trips to Canada, mayo was the only thing that made some of them palatable
 
2021-10-17 12:49:52 PM  
* only thing within reach, I should have said
 
2021-10-17 12:52:33 PM  
I imagine my feelings toward French fries approximate the way cat people see dogs-they don't dislike them, per se. They might even reluctantly give them a scratch behind the ears, the way I poach a skinny fry from my husband's plate of steak frites. But it's just not their thing.

* fark-that-journalist-right-out-the-doo​r button *
 
2021-10-17 12:59:23 PM  

phaseolus: Axeofjudgement: Author was dipping em in mayo.

Her argument is completely invalid.

I dunno. Having encountered too many weird, disappointing fries on trips to Canada, mayo was the only thing that made some of them palatable


I don't do mayo but for thicker cut like steak fries or wedges, sour cream it really good. They're like mini baked potatoes.
 
2021-10-17 1:01:24 PM  
Well that just rambled on like an Abe Simpson story.  Wtf?
 
2021-10-17 1:10:12 PM  

phaseolus: Axeofjudgement: Author was dipping em in mayo.

Her argument is completely invalid.

I dunno. Having encountered too many weird, disappointing fries on trips to Canada, mayo was the only thing that made some of them palatable


Aren't you supposed to cover those fries in gravy and cheese curds?
 
2021-10-17 1:41:32 PM  

Axeofjudgement: Author was dipping em in mayo.

Her argument is completely invalid.


I farkied you as "team miracle whip" today.
 
2021-10-17 1:47:11 PM  

McGrits: johnny_vegas: *shrug* I would say the Larousse Gastronomique is the French cooking bible

Also here is a picture of the journalist from a couple years ago:
[devourparisfoodtours.com image 300x300]

Larousse Gastrinomique is an awesome cooking resource. Anyone serious about cooking should have a copy.

As for French fries, they are overrated. Good? Sure. But not the best potato. German fries or texmex style papas can fulfill the same need and do more.


Overrated? Do people rate them? They're just fries. Also, what are texmex potatoes? Just fried potatoes I'm guessing.
 
2021-10-17 2:14:04 PM  

FrancoFile: Well that just rambled on like an Abe Simpson story.  Wtf?


There must be a large subset of consumers who like that kind of article, because they are everywhere and about everything we consume from art to food.

I could say I hate french fries, despite being one of my own favorites: when they aren't good, they are high calorie garbage you paid too much for. This bothers me any time I go to a place I haven't been before, and any time I get fries at a place that isn't consistent. I hate that I wont' know if they are good. I hate that if they are good they exactly what I want for my side.  I hate that if I don't want to roll the dice, most places offer few, if any, alternative sides.

I don't need to talk about their history, or my significant other, nor wax poetically about god knows what, to review the french fry. Reviewers have their heads so far up their asses in an attempt to distinguish themselves from other reviewers that the majority of reviews are obnoxiously unreadable.

Here is a review of a hot chicken sandwich from a place that opened up this year, from my coworker, "You've got to get it, it will be one of the best chicken sandwiches you've ever had. It's big, it's juicy, the breading is crisp and the chicken is perfect. It's got a zing but not too hot".  I got it last week. It is the best fried chicken sandwich I've ever had. If you'd put three in front of me I would have tried to finish them all.  Probably could have, too.
 
2021-10-17 2:16:52 PM  

McGrits: johnny_vegas: *shrug* I would say the Larousse Gastronomique is the French cooking bible

Also here is a picture of the journalist from a couple years ago:
[devourparisfoodtours.com image 300x300]

Larousse Gastrinomique is an awesome cooking resource. Anyone serious about cooking should have a copy.

As for French fries, they are overrated. Good? Sure. But not the best potato. German fries or texmex style papas can fulfill the same need and do more.


Little potato cubes fried up in a skillet with Mexican chorizo, so the fat and seasoning flavors the potato too.
 
2021-10-17 2:17:58 PM  
Depends on the fries. I like shoestring or spiced curly fries. Beefsteak fries geo too mealy in the middle of not eaten fresh out of the fryer and even then, I only really like them from a fish and chip van. Skin on fries julienne are great with a medium rare burger.

I have no idea why Mayo on fries is so anathema to many of you yet will dip it in ketchup made sickly sweet with corn syrup.

This was just delivered via Amazon today and it's bloody fantastic.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-17 2:29:10 PM  
"My husband Guillaume and I split a large order, which came in a paper cone and was massive even by American standards. They were, as far as I could tell, very good fries: thin but not spindly, with a golden brown, crispy exterior giving way to a soft, bordering on creamy, interior. We ordered them with two sauces: mayonnaise and "Samurai," which approximated a spicy version of Thousand Island dressing."

her personal pic of the exact fries she just described:
Fark user imageView Full Size


-so, the author considers these "thin" fries?

and goes on to complain:

"I told Guillaume they weren't salty enough, and to add salt now would be like salting already-cooked eggs-it might cling to the surface but it could never save the bland inside. I told him they were only palatable with plenty of sauce and, therefore, could not be considered delicious on their own."

she expects her fries to taste salty all the way to the core? is she come kind of weird salt-addict? or a current smoker? when i was a smoker it wrecked any fine tuning in my palate, and she does live in france.....

but clearly, this lady's perceptions of physical size and scale are "way off" -to a nearly silly degree! so why should we think her senses of perceived taste, smell, or texture are anything like ours?

how she became a professional food writer puzzles me.
 
2021-10-17 2:37:48 PM  
what america considers "thin" (shoestring) fries:
Fark user imageView Full Size


what Caitlin Raux Gunther, young NYC expat living in paris, considers "thin" fries:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-17 2:38:04 PM  
My first guess when I saw the headline was, "Why I'm a vegan", followed by, "Why I don't eat bacon".  So, I guess, props to smitty for being original.
 
2021-10-17 2:52:06 PM  

olrasputin: McGrits: johnny_vegas: *shrug* I would say the Larousse Gastronomique is the French cooking bible

Also here is a picture of the journalist from a couple years ago:
[devourparisfoodtours.com image 300x300]

Larousse Gastrinomique is an awesome cooking resource. Anyone serious about cooking should have a copy.

As for French fries, they are overrated. Good? Sure. But not the best potato. German fries or texmex style papas can fulfill the same need and do more.

Little potato cubes fried up in a skillet with Mexican chorizo, so the fat and seasoning flavors the potato too.


mmm, sounds like papas bravas
 
2021-10-17 2:52:52 PM  
Here's the deal.  Everyday trolling is here to stay.  It's part of being an author, it's part of the process, it's part of garnering clicks for advertising.  You have to include something edgy, but not too edgy, to piss off your own audience.  Like, fries bad, I am female, my husband has fancy foreign name, here's a babbling pointless story to go along with my hot take.  There's something to enrage everyone.  It's genius.

People immediately resort into Duty Calls!  Someone was wrong on the internet!  ... and here we all are, hooked, just like she carefully planned.

imgs.xkcd.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-17 2:54:31 PM  

devilskware: McGrits: johnny_vegas: *shrug* I would say the Larousse Gastronomique is the French cooking bible

Also here is a picture of the journalist from a couple years ago:
[devourparisfoodtours.com image 300x300]

Larousse Gastrinomique is an awesome cooking resource. Anyone serious about cooking should have a copy.

As for French fries, they are overrated. Good? Sure. But not the best potato. German fries or texmex style papas can fulfill the same need and do more.

Overrated? Do people rate them? They're just fries. Also, what are texmex potatoes? Just fried potatoes I'm guessing.


right? what if I want hash browns or home fries or oven wedges or tots or mini-tots or, mmmmm, rösti.

/actually now I want tortilla...
 
2021-10-17 3:17:56 PM  

Axeofjudgement: Author was dipping em in mayo.

Her argument is completely invalid.


It's the fastest way to ruin any food.
 
2021-10-17 3:20:57 PM  

olrasputin: McGrits: johnny_vegas: *shrug* I would say the Larousse Gastronomique is the French cooking bible

Also here is a picture of the journalist from a couple years ago:
[devourparisfoodtours.com image 300x300]

Larousse Gastrinomique is an awesome cooking resource. Anyone serious about cooking should have a copy.

As for French fries, they are overrated. Good? Sure. But not the best potato. German fries or texmex style papas can fulfill the same need and do more.

Little potato cubes fried up in a skillet with Mexican chorizo, so the fat and seasoning flavors the potato too.


I live here and that doesn't sound familiar. No real Mexican would ever waste meat by mixing it with potatoes.
 
2021-10-17 3:24:29 PM  

August11: I imagine my feelings toward French fries approximate the way cat people see dogs-they don't dislike them, per se. They might even reluctantly give them a scratch behind the ears, the way I poach a skinny fry from my husband's plate of steak frites. But it's just not their thing.

* fark-that-journalist-right-out-the-doo​r button *


Anyone that tries to steal a fry from my plate should expect a fork in the back of their hand.
 
2021-10-17 3:27:09 PM  

ski9600: Axeofjudgement: Author was dipping em in mayo.

Her argument is completely invalid.

I farkied you as "team miracle whip" today.


In my defense, I like mayo. As a condiment or Ingredient.

Not as a dipping sauce.
 
2021-10-17 3:29:00 PM  

luna1580: what Caitlin Raux Gunther, young NYC expat living in paris, considers "thin" fries:
[Fark user image 429x554]


wait, really? so. much. disjoint.
 
2021-10-17 4:40:17 PM  

phaseolus: Axeofjudgement: Author was dipping em in mayo.

Her argument is completely invalid.

I dunno. Having encountered too many weird, disappointing fries on trips to Canada, mayo was the only thing that made some of them palatable


I've been traveling to Canada on a regular basis coontil the Pandemic) for 60+ years and the only reason that I continue to order fries is the triumph of optimism over experience.  Cafés, bars, chip wagons, and poutineries have always been disappointing:  limp and greasy, like Five Gypsy's fries...until recently.  Last month, every place that we stopped seemed to have upped their fry game considerably.  It didn't seem to matter if they were English-style chips, shoestrings, or steak fries, they were all done well.
 
2021-10-17 4:46:34 PM  

Axeofjudgement: ski9600: Axeofjudgement: Author was dipping em in mayo.

Her argument is completely invalid.

I farkied you as "team miracle whip" today.

In my defense, I like mayo. As a condiment or Ingredient.

Not as a dipping sauce.


However, mayo + relish makes a good addition to fried fish.
 
2021-10-17 4:47:09 PM  

luna1580: what america considers "thin" (shoestring) fries:
[Fark user image 825x254]

what Caitlin Raux Gunther, young NYC expat living in paris, considers "thin" fries:
[Fark user image 429x554]


I agree with you that she has a perception or description disorder. But this is what fries should look like. They're healthy and properly fried. Note the browned crack on the fry by her palm and imagine the crunch. There is no fast food restaurant I know of that serves fries like this; the way they should be.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-17 6:12:00 PM  

devilskware: olrasputin: McGrits: johnny_vegas: *shrug* I would say the Larousse Gastronomique is the French cooking bible

Also here is a picture of the journalist from a couple years ago:
[devourparisfoodtours.com image 300x300]

Larousse Gastrinomique is an awesome cooking resource. Anyone serious about cooking should have a copy.

As for French fries, they are overrated. Good? Sure. But not the best potato. German fries or texmex style papas can fulfill the same need and do more.

Little potato cubes fried up in a skillet with Mexican chorizo, so the fat and seasoning flavors the potato too.

I live here and that doesn't sound familiar. No real Mexican would ever waste meat by mixing it with potatoes.


Okay?
 
2021-10-17 6:17:11 PM  

olrasputin: devilskware: olrasputin: McGrits: johnny_vegas: *shrug* I would say the Larousse Gastronomique is the French cooking bible

Also here is a picture of the journalist from a couple years ago:
[devourparisfoodtours.com image 300x300]

Larousse Gastrinomique is an awesome cooking resource. Anyone serious about cooking should have a copy.

As for French fries, they are overrated. Good? Sure. But not the best potato. German fries or texmex style papas can fulfill the same need and do more.

Little potato cubes fried up in a skillet with Mexican chorizo, so the fat and seasoning flavors the potato too.

I live here and that doesn't sound familiar. No real Mexican would ever waste meat by mixing it with potatoes.

Okay?


Or, you know, google "papas con chorizo".

Must be a whole lot of fake Mexicans leaving recipes and youtube videos laying around the interwebs.
 
2021-10-17 7:00:38 PM  

johnny_vegas: *shrug* I would say the Larousse Gastronomique is the French cooking bible

Also here is a picture of the journalist from a couple years ago:
[devourparisfoodtours.com image 300x300]


food tab caption contest! i'll go first:

Fark user imageView Full Size

very angry teenager binge eats alone (stock photo/Getty Images)
 
2021-10-17 7:01:36 PM  
I dunno. Having encountered too many weird, disappointing fries on trips to Canada, mayo was the only thing that made some of them palatable

You obviously haven't encountered a good Chip Wagon.
 
2021-10-17 7:05:20 PM  
Ok.
 
2021-10-17 8:32:18 PM  
whompcomic.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-17 8:39:41 PM  

Gough: phaseolus: Axeofjudgement: Author was dipping em in mayo.

Her argument is completely invalid.

I dunno. Having encountered too many weird, disappointing fries on trips to Canada, mayo was the only thing that made some of them palatable

I've been traveling to Canada on a regular basis coontil the Pandemic) for 60+ years and the only reason that I continue to order fries is the triumph of optimism over experience.  Cafés, bars, chip wagons, and poutineries have always been disappointing:  limp and greasy, like Five Gypsy's fries...until recently.  Last month, every place that we stopped seemed to have upped their fry game considerably.  It didn't seem to matter if they were English-style chips, shoestrings, or steak fries, they were all done well.


That's encouraging news. And Five Guys' fries also came to my mind whenever I had those weird Canadian dislikeable fries.
 
2021-10-17 8:59:49 PM  

Axeofjudgement: phaseolus: Axeofjudgement: Author was dipping em in mayo.

Her argument is completely invalid.

I dunno. Having encountered too many weird, disappointing fries on trips to Canada, mayo was the only thing that made some of them palatable

Aren't you supposed to cover those fries in gravy and cheese curds?


Canada loves their vomit covered fries.
 
2021-10-17 9:03:58 PM  

phaseolus: Gough: phaseolus: Axeofjudgement: Author was dipping em in mayo.

Her argument is completely invalid.

I dunno. Having encountered too many weird, disappointing fries on trips to Canada, mayo was the only thing that made some of them palatable

I've been traveling to Canada on a regular basis coontil the Pandemic) for 60+ years and the only reason that I continue to order fries is the triumph of optimism over experience.  Cafés, bars, chip wagons, and poutineries have always been disappointing:  limp and greasy, like Five Gypsy's fries...until recently.  Last month, every place that we stopped seemed to have upped their fry game considerably.  It didn't seem to matter if they were English-style chips, shoestrings, or steak fries, they were all done well.

That's encouraging news. And Five Guys' fries also came to my mind whenever I had those weird Canadian dislikeable fries.


I'm constantly and consistently amazed that a large number of people LIKE 5 guys fries.

I'm a glutton for Cajun seasoning and all, but just sautee or bake a tater if you are going to be soft.
 
2021-10-17 9:12:21 PM  

luna1580: "My husband Guillaume and I split a large order, which came in a paper cone and was massive even by American standards. They were, as far as I could tell, very good fries: thin but not spindly, with a golden brown, crispy exterior giving way to a soft, bordering on creamy, interior. We ordered them with two sauces: mayonnaise and "Samurai," which approximated a spicy version of Thousand Island dressing."

her personal pic of the exact fries she just described:
[Fark user image 429x554]

-so, the author considers these "thin" fries?

and goes on to complain:

"I told Guillaume they weren't salty enough, and to add salt now would be like salting already-cooked eggs-it might cling to the surface but it could never save the bland inside. I told him they were only palatable with plenty of sauce and, therefore, could not be considered delicious on their own."

she expects her fries to taste salty all the way to the core? is she come kind of weird salt-addict? or a current smoker? when i was a smoker it wrecked any fine tuning in my palate, and she does live in france.....

but clearly, this lady's perceptions of physical size and scale are "way off" -to a nearly silly degree! so why should we think her senses of perceived taste, smell, or texture are anything like ours?

how she became a professional food writer puzzles me.


I saw somewhere that the perfect fry is 11 millimeters square. Gets crisp but remains fluffy on the inside. These look just about right. (Needs beef fat :)
 
151 [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-10-17 9:15:58 PM  

Tyrone Slothrop: Axeofjudgement: ski9600: Axeofjudgement: Author was dipping em in mayo.

Her argument is completely invalid.

I farkied you as "team miracle whip" today.

In my defense, I like mayo. As a condiment or Ingredient.

Not as a dipping sauce.

However, mayo + relish makes a good addition to fried fish.


You mean... Tartar sauce?
 
2021-10-17 10:09:40 PM  
Most French Fries taste like crap and are bad for you.
 
2021-10-17 10:13:41 PM  

baxterdog: luna1580: "My husband Guillaume and I split a large order, which came in a paper cone and was massive even by American standards. They were, as far as I could tell, very good fries: thin but not spindly, with a golden brown, crispy exterior giving way to a soft, bordering on creamy, interior. We ordered them with two sauces: mayonnaise and "Samurai," which approximated a spicy version of Thousand Island dressing."

her personal pic of the exact fries she just described:
[Fark user image 429x554]

-so, the author considers these "thin" fries?

and goes on to complain:

"I told Guillaume they weren't salty enough, and to add salt now would be like salting already-cooked eggs-it might cling to the surface but it could never save the bland inside. I told him they were only palatable with plenty of sauce and, therefore, could not be considered delicious on their own."

she expects her fries to taste salty all the way to the core? is she come kind of weird salt-addict? or a current smoker? when i was a smoker it wrecked any fine tuning in my palate, and she does live in france.....

but clearly, this lady's perceptions of physical size and scale are "way off" -to a nearly silly degree! so why should we think her senses of perceived taste, smell, or texture are anything like ours?

how she became a professional food writer puzzles me.

I saw somewhere that the perfect fry is 11 millimeters square. Gets crisp but remains fluffy on the inside. These look just about right. (Needs beef fat :)


It's honestly hard to tell. They obviously aren't half her wrist width, but the container isn't that big either.

There is a lot of perspective at play here I think.

But the perfect fry can be be various lengths. It's about ratio of crisp to soft, so various frying methods and cuts can achieve one's perfect ratio .

My local bar does a fry wider than I usually like, but it's crisp as heck without too much fluff in the center. At the same time, Freddy's makes a very thin fry and I'd say their ratios are equivalent.
 
151 [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-10-18 4:54:40 AM  

Smackledorfer: baxterdog: luna1580: "My husband Guillaume and I split a large order, which came in a paper cone and was massive even by American standards. They were, as far as I could tell, very good fries: thin but not spindly, with a golden brown, crispy exterior giving way to a soft, bordering on creamy, interior. We ordered them with two sauces: mayonnaise and "Samurai," which approximated a spicy version of Thousand Island dressing."

her personal pic of the exact fries she just described:
[Fark user image 429x554]

-so, the author considers these "thin" fries?

and goes on to complain:

"I told Guillaume they weren't salty enough, and to add salt now would be like salting already-cooked eggs-it might cling to the surface but it could never save the bland inside. I told him they were only palatable with plenty of sauce and, therefore, could not be considered delicious on their own."

she expects her fries to taste salty all the way to the core? is she come kind of weird salt-addict? or a current smoker? when i was a smoker it wrecked any fine tuning in my palate, and she does live in france.....

but clearly, this lady's perceptions of physical size and scale are "way off" -to a nearly silly degree! so why should we think her senses of perceived taste, smell, or texture are anything like ours?

how she became a professional food writer puzzles me.

I saw somewhere that the perfect fry is 11 millimeters square. Gets crisp but remains fluffy on the inside. These look just about right. (Needs beef fat :)

It's honestly hard to tell. They obviously aren't half her wrist width, but the container isn't that big either.

There is a lot of perspective at play here I think.

But the perfect fry can be be various lengths. It's about ratio of crisp to soft, so various frying methods and cuts can achieve one's perfect ratio .

My local bar does a fry wider than I usually like, but it's crisp as heck without too much fluff in the center. At the same time, Freddy's makes a very thin fry and I'd say their ratios are equivalent.


Come to the place I just got fired from. Where we call perch walleye. And somehow that's allowed. 316 grand river. You're a michigander, I'm not gonna call them out by name, just like they're not gonna call fish by name.

Howell
 
2021-10-18 3:42:33 PM  
Yeah, I'm not clicking on that. I don't care why someone doesn't like fries, burgers, pineapple on pizza, thin crust pizza, pan pizza, etc.

I just don't give a shiat. Don't eat it. No one cares. Or rather, no one SHOULD care.
 
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