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(The Hill)   Where is your God now?   (thehill.com) divider line
    More: News, New York City, United States, Los Angeles, Crime, Haiti officials, Haiti, President of the United States, Gang  
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10543 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Oct 2021 at 4:25 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-10-17 12:47:59 AM  
Counting the collection money
 
2021-10-17 1:28:04 AM  
Christian-Christians?  Or Mormon Christians?  Not that it matters, just curious.
 
2021-10-17 3:23:25 AM  
It's Sunday here. The seventh day. I imagine he is resting.

At a hotel bar with a mimosa or Bloody Mary waiting for his omelet and Dutch waffles to show up.
 
2021-10-17 4:28:20 AM  
Where Is Your God?
Youtube 16CwvKD78aY
 
2021-10-17 4:28:30 AM  
Officials: Up to 17 American missionaries kidnapped in Haiti

Putting them in an uncharacteristically awkward position.
 
2021-10-17 4:30:48 AM  
What are they even doing there? It's apparent that even God hates that place.
 
2021-10-17 4:30:54 AM  
I thought god was always  everywhere
 
2021-10-17 4:38:02 AM  

TuckFrump: Counting the collection money

"He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money!"


-some George guy
 
2021-10-17 4:46:08 AM  
Maybe it was Godzilla?
Fark user imageView Full Size
img.fark.net
 
2021-10-17 4:48:13 AM  
This wouldn't have happened if they used doggy style.
 
2021-10-17 4:54:42 AM  
Well in about four hours we are gonna see the usual gang of idiots make the Sunday show rounds and tell us why we need to send American Troops in to reestablish order.
 
2021-10-17 4:57:02 AM  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size

Beyond the point of ever caring about what happens to christian missionaries.
 
2021-10-17 4:59:29 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Christian-Christians?  Or Mormon Christians?  Not that it matters, just curious.


Wikipedia says its 56% Catholic, 30% Protestant, 10% unaffiliated and the rest are others - I imagine voodoo. So probably Mormons. There's not a lot of evangelization between the different Protestant and Catholic denominations. Brings up bad memories of the 17th century.
 
2021-10-17 5:04:59 AM  
"Eli Eli Lama Sabachthani?"
 
2021-10-17 5:05:46 AM  
Wasn't this the plot of Rambo 4?
 
2021-10-17 5:07:58 AM  
God works in mysterious ways. I just wish it were a bit faster, 2000 years of karma to dole out
 
2021-10-17 5:08:44 AM  
Thoughts and prayers
 
2021-10-17 5:15:05 AM  

Sexy Jesus: What are they even doing there? It's apparent that even God hates that place.


If you eat a bible then read it back to us from memory we will give you a biscuit.
 
2021-10-17 5:17:23 AM  
At the moment, it looks like god's on the kidnappers' side.
 
2021-10-17 5:17:35 AM  

DannyBrandt: It's Sunday here. The seventh day. I imagine he is resting.

At a hotel bar with a mimosa or Bloody Mary waiting for his omelet and Dutch waffles to show up.


1) What was He doing last night that made Him seek a drink this early in the morning?

2) We should talk about Dutch Babies.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-17 5:19:28 AM  
God is probably busy buying Pat Robertson another airplane.
 
2021-10-17 5:26:17 AM  

Quick and Dirty: DannyBrandt: It's Sunday here. The seventh day. I imagine he is resting.

At a hotel bar with a mimosa or Bloody Mary waiting for his omelet and Dutch waffles to show up.

1) What was He doing last night that made Him seek a drink this early in the morning?

2) We should talk about Dutch Babies.

[Fark user image image 850x637]


This is the third time in two weeks I've seen "Dutch Babies" show up in a Fark thread.

I ain't putting whatever the hell that is into my search history.
 
2021-10-17 5:31:34 AM  

thisispete: Benevolent Misanthrope: Christian-Christians?  Or Mormon Christians?  Not that it matters, just curious.

Wikipedia says its 56% Catholic, 30% Protestant, 10% unaffiliated and the rest are others - I imagine voodoo. So probably Mormons. There's not a lot of evangelization between the different Protestant and Catholic denominations. Brings up bad memories of the 17th century.


Do American protestants still like going to Africa and telling them AIDS was gay people's fault and tacitly endorsing stonings and such?
 
2021-10-17 5:39:48 AM  

leviosaurus: "Eli Eli Lama Sabachthani?"


"Olly Olly oxen free!"
 
2021-10-17 5:40:09 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Christian-Christians?  Or Mormon Christians?  Not that it matters, just curious.


There are no Christian-Christians because Christian isn't a sub-category of itself.  You have Catholics, Protestants, Baptists, Flanderites, Evangelicals, Russian Orthodox, etc.
 
2021-10-17 5:41:17 AM  

tinderfitles: Well in about four hours we are gonna see the usual gang of idiots make the Sunday show rounds and tell us why we need to send American Troops in to reestablish order.


Actually might be a good idea if we wanted to dominate the zombie market.
 
2021-10-17 5:44:52 AM  

DannyBrandt: It's Sunday here. The seventh day. I imagine he is resting.

At a hotel bar with a mimosa or Bloody Mary waiting for his omelet and Dutch waffles to show up.


Based off that breakfast...apparently I'm god?
 
2021-10-17 5:45:34 AM  
Isn't anybody going to bring up that school buses are being fired on?

That's a whole new level of farked up right there.
 
2021-10-17 5:47:47 AM  

LewDux: Maybe it was Godzilla?[Fark user image image 426x239][img.fark.net image 24x24]


Dammit!

Anyhow....here is the clip:

Family Guy Godzilla Attackes Haiti
Youtube KMLkBTgxPhU
 
2021-10-17 5:50:15 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-17 6:00:56 AM  

Pextor: This wouldn't have happened if they used doggy style.


And now that they changed the headline my joke doesn't make sense.
 
2021-10-17 6:01:07 AM  

Quick and Dirty: DannyBrandt: It's Sunday here. The seventh day. I imagine he is resting.

At a hotel bar with a mimosa or Bloody Mary waiting for his omelet and Dutch waffles to show up.

1) What was He doing last night that made Him seek a drink this early in the morning?

2) We should talk about Dutch Babies.

[Fark user image image 850x637]


That's beautiful. Whatever it is.
 
2021-10-17 6:02:37 AM  

leeksfromchichis: Benevolent Misanthrope: Christian-Christians?  Or Mormon Christians?  Not that it matters, just curious.

There are no Christian-Christians because Christian isn't a sub-category of itself.  You have Catholics, Protestants, Baptists, Flanderites, Evangelicals, Russian Orthodox, etc.


Yeah but a lot of those groups you mentioned think that they other groups are going to burn in hell for not believing the same things. Sometimes, they are different religions as much as Christianity and Islam are.
 
2021-10-17 6:06:43 AM  

WDFark think for a second: DannyBrandt: It's Sunday here. The seventh day. I imagine he is resting.

At a hotel bar with a mimosa or Bloody Mary waiting for his omelet and Dutch waffles to show up.

Based off that breakfast...apparently I'm god?


Maybe.

Which is good enough for me. Where do I sign up?
 
2021-10-17 6:08:52 AM  
L. Ron Hubbard died in January 1986. I don't know where he's buried. I think it was in a cemetery on planet Zetach where xenu came from.
 
2021-10-17 6:10:09 AM  
This isn't news, its too bad for mind controllers
 
2021-10-17 6:11:03 AM  
 
2021-10-17 6:12:32 AM  

DannyBrandt: WDFark think for a second: DannyBrandt: It's Sunday here. The seventh day. I imagine he is resting.

At a hotel bar with a mimosa or Bloody Mary waiting for his omelet and Dutch waffles to show up.

Based off that breakfast...apparently I'm god?

Maybe.

Which is good enough for me. Where do I sign up?


Another Broken Egg. Restaurant..but not at the bar...get a table.
 
2021-10-17 6:13:29 AM  

TheAugurofDunlain: thisispete: Benevolent Misanthrope: Christian-Christians?  Or Mormon Christians?  Not that it matters, just curious.

Wikipedia says its 56% Catholic, 30% Protestant, 10% unaffiliated and the rest are others - I imagine voodoo. So probably Mormons. There's not a lot of evangelization between the different Protestant and Catholic denominations. Brings up bad memories of the 17th century.

Do American protestants still like going to Africa and telling them AIDS was gay people's fault and tacitly endorsing stonings and such?


I thought statistics was part of the scientific model.
 
2021-10-17 6:13:45 AM  
So we were going to save them but our god told us that mandating every life is precious is not okay and saving you would be invalidating the blood needed for the blood god and that skulls were necessary for some kind of seating arrangement.

Please understand, we read the word of our god on his holy press, Facebook and we will not be moved by your desire to trample our religion by acting like life is sacred.

We were afraid to come out, but you the Christians convinced us that masks and vaccines were not good and that death was but a door way. Our god, implores us to tell you he has revived your gods message and wishes me to convey upon you these white nikes.

Now let us go drink the flavor-aid and praise Khorne and Jehovah.
 
2021-10-17 6:15:11 AM  
Americans are fine with massive death tolls ..... Until their family is affected
 
2021-10-17 6:18:02 AM  
Can someone please start a hashtag campaign? I'd do it but I have a religious exemption.
 
2021-10-17 6:22:04 AM  

WDFark think for a second: DannyBrandt: WDFark think for a second: DannyBrandt: It's Sunday here. The seventh day. I imagine he is resting.

At a hotel bar with a mimosa or Bloody Mary waiting for his omelet and Dutch waffles to show up.

Based off that breakfast...apparently I'm god?

Maybe.

Which is good enough for me. Where do I sign up?

Another Broken Egg. Restaurant..but not at the bar...get a table.


Do I have to fly through Heathrow?
Because that is a deal breaker.
 
2021-10-17 6:23:07 AM  
Yes because that is what Haiti needs more god. They need people to help them get back on their feet after all the crap they have been through between the political and natural disasters.
Years ago I worked with a Bible thumper that went on missionary work and I was always under the impression that yeah they preached at you but they also helped fix things up. Her and her group just preached and boo helping. I would kidnap these people too if they showed up in my village too.
 
2021-10-17 6:25:18 AM  

groppet: Yes because that is what Haiti needs more god. They need people to help them get back on their feet after all the crap they have been through between the political and natural disasters.
Years ago I worked with a Bible thumper that went on missionary work and I was always under the impression that yeah they preached at you but they also helped fix things up. Her and her group just preached and boo helping. I would kidnap these people too if they showed up in my village too.


Lol that's a bit harsh.
 
2021-10-17 6:40:04 AM  
It's because of their pants. I don't know why exactly, but missionaries always seem to be wearing Bad Idea Jeans.
Bad Idea Jeans - Saturday Night Live
Youtube mGfBEnBw01A
If only they would rethink their clothing choices. And also, yknow, missions.
 
2021-10-17 6:41:32 AM  
Were is my God now?

I think that guy quit giving a sh*t about me a few thousand years ago.

Thanks, Dad.
 
2021-10-17 6:56:20 AM  

DannyBrandt: It's Sunday here. The seventh day. I imagine he is resting.

At a hotel bar with a mimosa or Bloody Mary waiting for his omelet and Dutch waffles to show up.


And betting on the football game
 
2021-10-17 7:00:48 AM  

Pextor: This wouldn't have happened if they used doggy style.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-17 7:01:47 AM  

lifeslammer: I thought god was always  everywhere


He's only as close as the nearest collection basket
 
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