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(Guardian)   Beanless coffee is coming for your percolator   (theguardian.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Coffee, coffee beans, Climate change, Greenhouse gas, Carbon dioxide, Maricel Saenz, coffee industry, Atomo Coffee  
•       •       •

1236 clicks; posted to STEM » on 16 Oct 2021 at 11:35 PM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



42 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-10-16 10:43:55 PM  
Instant

/It's a thing
 
2021-10-17 12:01:48 AM  
 
2021-10-17 12:02:36 AM  

AlgaeRancher: Instant

/It's a thing


Instant coffee is still made from coffee beans.
 
2021-10-17 12:03:32 AM  
Why?
 
2021-10-17 12:09:25 AM  
Is it April 1st?
 
Juc
2021-10-17 12:09:50 AM  
Well coffee is already beanless.
we're drinking roasted cherry pits, not beans.

wonder why they don't sell the fruit for stuff to be honest, I bet folks would get hooked on a coffee jam or something in the morning, even if it tastes like bitter death.
 
2021-10-17 12:13:44 AM  

Juc: Well coffee is already beanless.
we're drinking roasted cherry pits, not beans.

wonder why they don't sell the fruit for stuff to be honest, I bet folks would get hooked on a coffee jam or something in the morning, even if it tastes like bitter death.


They convinced people to eat coffee that was shiat out by a cat. Don't think jam would be a difficult sale.
 
2021-10-17 1:17:24 AM  
Someone gave me edible gold plated coffee beans last year so coffee jam wouldn't be too much of a stretch.  I Would try lab grown coffee too I've probably had worse fungus.
My coffee machine uses half the electricity than if I boiled the kettle for French press coffee and a quarter of the power needed for instant.
 
2021-10-17 1:56:42 AM  
I don't see why people surveyed wouldn't drink beanless coffee* (assuming they drink regular coffee), same with cultured meat*.

*operating on that basis that it's an equivalent replacement and both don't have the taste and texture of pig anuses
 
2021-10-17 2:01:37 AM  
Heiko Rischer isn't quite sure how to describe the taste of lab-grown coffee. This summer he sampled one of the first batches in the world produced from cell cultures rather than coffee beans.
"To describe it is difficult but, for me, it was in between a coffee and a black tea," said Rischer, head of plant biotechnology at the VTT Technical Research Centre of Finland, which developed the coffee.


So not coffee. Good luck with that!
 
2021-10-17 2:18:22 AM  
Well that's not going to happen at my place ..
 
2021-10-17 2:49:35 AM  
Beanless brews can cut deforestation and greenhouse gas emissions dramatically - but what will happen to workers in traditional coffee-growing regions?

Oh no!

We want to help the environment, but what about all the people that are actively farking the environment?
 
2021-10-17 3:43:58 AM  

We Ate the Necco Wafers: Heiko Rischer isn't quite sure how to describe the taste of lab-grown coffee. This summer he sampled one of the first batches in the world produced from cell cultures rather than coffee beans.
"To describe it is difficult but, for me, it was in between a coffee and a black tea," said Rischer, head of plant biotechnology at the VTT Technical Research Centre of Finland, which developed the coffee.

So not coffee. Good luck with that!


Honestly, what's the venn diagram of coffee and tea drinkers like? Could the majority or even a sizable minority be able to tell the difference between this, black tea, and some other coffee brand than their preferred brew?
I love the fark out of coffee, but most are nearly indistinguishable from another no matter how it's prepared. Black water that tastes like coffee. If it can clear that hurdle I'll drink it, even if it came out of a Zune first./now I want a cup before bed//you remember Zune right? cat's asshole?//decaf is for masochists
 
2021-10-17 3:45:29 AM  
Stibium:

Drew should fix his website, I hear linefeed characters are the current hotness.
 
2021-10-17 5:52:11 AM  
If you are drinking some sugar bomb confection with a coffee base then maybe the cultured cell line almost-but-not quite-entirely-unlike-coffee stuff will work out OK for you.

I drink black coffee. If you serve me coffee and I am putting stuff in it then it's lousy coffee.
 
2021-10-17 7:04:32 AM  
Good luck getting anti-vaxxers to buy this stuff.
 
2021-10-17 7:27:56 AM  

dyhchong: don't have the taste and texture of pig anuses


People eat hot dogs just fine.
 
2021-10-17 8:19:07 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: Beanless brews can cut deforestation and greenhouse gas emissions dramatically - but what will happen to workers in traditional coffee-growing regions?

Oh no!

We want to help the environment, but what about all the people that are actively farking the environment?


Indeed. They can probably use their degrees in coffee harvesting elsewhere.
 
2021-10-17 8:38:29 AM  
external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-17 8:45:44 AM  
"What about the jobs?"

Five years ago, people were upset about automated trucks because it would kill jobs, but now we're kicking ourselves for not automating faster because there aren't enough drivers.

Every job eventually gets automated or replaced. Other jobs are developed, and eventually we won't have jobs at all. "What about the jobs" is not a good argument.
 
2021-10-17 9:58:42 AM  
Starbucks Beanless.  YOU'LL BUY IT ANYWAY

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-17 10:15:31 AM  
If you're using a percolator, it hardly matters what you put in it.  It may as well be ground up crayons.

/Not a coffee snob, but percolators suck.
//Recirculating coffee through the grinds? Well if you like super bitter I suppose.
///Uses a Moka Pot
 
2021-10-17 10:24:35 AM  
I bought some expensive unroasted Ethiopian beans a couple of months ago; "roast" them in a cast iron skillet outside on a gas grill just prior to grinding and brewing.

Pretty good stuff.
 
2021-10-17 10:40:22 AM  

Last of the Hippies: Why?


- coffee production drives deforestation, which drives climate change
- the industry driving that doesn't have a good reputation for treating the producers fairly, hence the 'fair trade' movement
- growth in demand coupled with production pressures from climate change has forecasts showing coffee will be unaffordable to many in the coming years and decades
- why not?
 
2021-10-17 11:05:33 AM  
I can accept many things, but death must come for me before "beanless" coffee happens.


/almost planted a coffee bush
//then learned that "beans" are really coffee cherry pits and really hard to extract manually
///maybe I'll reconsider
 
2021-10-17 11:22:04 AM  
What happens to the workers? They spend more time tending the coca.
 
2021-10-17 1:52:11 PM  

CluelessMoron: Recirculating coffee through the grinds? Well if you like super bitter I suppose.


If an automatic percolator is working correctly it never recirculates anything. The whole pot starts out cold, the heating element boils a tiny bit which shoots up the dip tube where it splashes over the diffuser and down through the grounds and back into the top of the pot. The hot coffee sits on top of the cold water but they do not mix. There is a thermostat on the bottom of the pot that shuts off the heat as soon as the last of the cold water is drawn into the dip tube.

If you are using a stovetop percolator you must stop when the water in the glass knob turns to coffee. If you leave it going you are recirculating coffee with the predictable results.

I fix percolators for fun. If your percolator is making bad coffee you probably need a new thermostat. If your percolator is wetting the counter then you need to get it fixed before you electrocute yourself.
 
2021-10-17 2:33:24 PM  

AlgaeRancher: Instant

/It's a thing


Most farkers would rather have folgers in their butts
 
2021-10-17 2:34:45 PM  

SomeAmerican: AlgaeRancher: Instant

/It's a thing

Instant coffee is still made from coffee beans.


And water

And heat
 
2021-10-17 2:36:10 PM  

Juc: Well coffee is already beanless.
we're drinking roasted cherry pits, not beans.

wonder why they don't sell the fruit for stuff to be honest, I bet folks would get hooked on a coffee jam or something in the morning, even if it tastes like bitter death.


Lolzz  cherry pits huh??

Lets put that bong down for awhile
 
2021-10-17 2:38:37 PM  

dyhchong: I don't see why people surveyed wouldn't drink beanless coffee* (assuming they drink regular coffee), same with cultured meat*.

*operating on that basis that it's an equivalent replacement and both don't have the taste and texture of pig anuses


Murcans will drink week old piss if that was the only way for them to get their caffeine fix
 
2021-10-17 2:39:52 PM  

mikalmd: Well that's not going to happen at my place ..


I knew the caffeine needle guys would speak up eventually.  😛
 
2021-10-17 2:40:58 PM  

jakedata: If you are drinking some sugar bomb confection with a coffee base then maybe the cultured cell line almost-but-not quite-entirely-unlike-coffee stuff will work out OK for you.

I drink black coffee. If you serve me coffee and I am putting stuff in it then it's lousy coffee.


A true Purist
 
2021-10-17 2:42:21 PM  

Stibium: Honestly, what's the venn diagram of coffee and tea drinkers like? Could the majority or even a sizable minority be able to tell the difference between this, black tea, and some other coffee brand than their preferred brew?
I love the fark out of coffee, but most are nearly indistinguishable from another no matter how it's prepared. Black water that tastes like coffee. If it can clear that hurdle I'll drink it, even if it came out of a Zune first./now I want a cup before bed//you remember Zune right? cat's asshole?//decaf is for masochists


I don't know about the majority, but I absolutely could tell the difference.

With beer, I can't tell the difference. Well, I can tell Guinness extra stout from Bud light, but that's about it.
 
2021-10-17 2:42:40 PM  

DerAppie: dyhchong: don't have the taste and texture of pig anuses

People eat hot dogs just fine.


Everything in them except the squeal.

Thats a common saying at weiner plants
 
2021-10-17 2:44:48 PM  

KB202: "What about the jobs?"

Five years ago, people were upset about automated trucks because it would kill jobs, but now we're kicking ourselves for not automating faster because there aren't enough drivers.

Every job eventually gets automated or replaced. Other jobs are developed, and eventually we won't have jobs at all. "What about the jobs" is not a good argument.


Im holding back for when the machines get replaced
 
2021-10-17 2:45:26 PM  

cryinoutloud: Starbucks Beanless.  YOU'LL BUY IT ANYWAY

[Fark user image image 260x250]


Drug addict would be more accurate
 
2021-10-17 2:46:13 PM  

CluelessMoron: If you're using a percolator, it hardly matters what you put in it.  It may as well be ground up crayons.

/Not a coffee snob, but percolators suck.
//Recirculating coffee through the grinds? Well if you like super bitter I suppose.
///Uses a Moka Pot


That gets those lovely bitter oils out of the bean.
 
2021-10-17 2:48:51 PM  

jakedata: CluelessMoron: Recirculating coffee through the grinds? Well if you like super bitter I suppose.

If an automatic percolator is working correctly it never recirculates anything. The whole pot starts out cold, the heating element boils a tiny bit which shoots up the dip tube where it splashes over the diffuser and down through the grounds and back into the top of the pot. The hot coffee sits on top of the cold water but they do not mix. There is a thermostat on the bottom of the pot that shuts off the heat as soon as the last of the cold water is drawn into the dip tube.

If you are using a stovetop percolator you must stop when the water in the glass knob turns to coffee. If you leave it going you are recirculating coffee with the predictable results.

I fix percolators for fun. If your percolator is making bad coffee you probably need a new thermostat. If your percolator is wetting the counter then you need to get it fixed before you electrocute yourself.


Some enjoy that stout bitter coffee bean oil
 
2021-10-17 2:51:28 PM  

Russ1642: Juc: Well coffee is already beanless.
we're drinking roasted cherry pits, not beans.

wonder why they don't sell the fruit for stuff to be honest, I bet folks would get hooked on a coffee jam or something in the morning, even if it tastes like bitter death.

They convinced people to eat coffee that was shiat out by a cat. Don't think jam would be a difficult sale.


Catshiat coffee is derived from the caca bean
 
2021-10-17 3:44:39 PM  

dryknife: I bought some expensive unroasted Ethiopian beans a couple of months ago; "roast" them in a cast iron skillet outside on a gas grill just prior to grinding and brewing.

Pretty good stuff.


Coffee flavour is at its best around 3 days after roasting.

Also use a popcorn maker, you get an even roast that way.

Here, I wrote a blog post about it a couple months back:
https://danvelopment.me/2021/09/04/roa​sting-your-own-coffee-at-home/
 
Juc
2021-10-17 8:38:25 PM  

Linux_Yes: Lolzz  cherry pits huh??

Lets put that bong down for awhile


no seriously...sorta.
coffee comes from the seeds of the coffea plant.
it's a tree that produces fruit, which I usually see called coffee cherries.

it's not a real cherry, it's a sorta stone fruit, sorta berry weird thing with two big seeds inside the fruit.
not quite a pit but the thing's closer to being a cherry than a bean.

but anywho enough people call 'em coffee cherries they're roasted pits as far ass my intellectual laziness is concerned. even if they're sorta their own thing.

I stand by the jam thing, it'd probably taste like taint but I bet people would eat it.
 
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