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(Tampa Bay Times)   Florida man breaks into home, stands in sleeping girl's doorway for 3 minutes with his hand in his shorts, gets chased away by family dog   (tampabay.com) divider line
    More: Florida, United States, Sheriff, Police, Thomas Martin Marnets, Pasco County sheriff's officials, video of the incident, sheriff's office, arrest reports state  
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2040 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Oct 2021 at 4:05 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-10-15 1:42:13 PM  
Like subby has never had really itchy balls
 
2021-10-15 3:38:43 PM  
If you're done with Florida, there is a plan.

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2021-10-15 4:08:02 PM  

baka-san: Like subby has never had really itchy balls


You know how I know you don't have a daughter?
 
2021-10-15 4:09:16 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-15 4:09:23 PM  
Attaboy. Get that good dog some steak.

If you want to give him prime cuts of Florida Man, I'll allow that too.
 
2021-10-15 4:11:02 PM  
They matched what he was wearing with the video.

"Clothes make the man."
 
2021-10-15 4:11:09 PM  
When interviewed by deputies, Marnets denied that he committed a burglary, saying that he "did not take anything," reports state.

Well, that's certainly one way to play it.
 
2021-10-15 4:12:25 PM  

AnotherBluesStringer: When interviewed by deputies, Marnets denied that he committed a burglary, saying that he "did not take anything," reports state.

Well, that's certainly one way to play it.


Technically incorrect.
He did take a look.
 
2021-10-15 4:12:39 PM  

Dr.Fey: If you're done with Florida, there is a plan.

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You know, I never really realized until now how small and limp America's dick is, despite how much we talk about it.
 
2021-10-15 4:12:57 PM  
Soon just breaking in and looking won't be enough for this guy. He'll need more to get off.  Dog should've gone for the snausage.
 
2021-10-15 4:14:14 PM  
That must have been terrifying for Ivanka, but I'm sure she knew he had keys for Mar-a-largo.

...DNRTFA
 
2021-10-15 4:14:26 PM  

Dr.Fey: If you're done with Florida, there is a plan.

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Uhm, the panhandle is the worst part of Floriduh.
 
2021-10-15 4:14:27 PM  

Dr.Fey: If you're done with Florida, there is a plan.

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I say we swap it for South Korea. Let ol' Kim try throwing stuff across the DMZ into St Pete. First spring break and half of the population will be in gulags and the other half will be in North Korea still.

Meanwhile we get electronics, food, entertainment, and a rich cultural history lasting thousands of years, and if we're lucky we get their broadband speeds.

SK gets away from crazy, cheap shipping to the US, and I guess that's it.
 
2021-10-15 4:15:23 PM  
FTFA: When interviewed by deputies, Marnets denied that he committed a burglary, saying that he "did not take anything," reports state.

Never talk to the cops - ever - without your lawyer. Then you STFU and only answer what the lawyer tells you to. The cops aren't your friends, and even if you're innocent or they're investigating something you're not actually involved with they have incentive to put someone in jail - guilty or not.

So keep your mouth shut, don't believe their lies (they WILL lie to you to try and trick you from exercising this right), and don't say a farking word without a lawyer. Yes, they'll get pissed. That's fine. That means you're doing the right thing.

But this guy? I'm not crying he was too dumb to follow that good advice.
 
2021-10-15 4:15:28 PM  

Chinesenookiefactory: Soon just breaking in and looking won't be enough for this guy. He'll need more to get off.  Dog should've gone for the snausage.


He's definitely escalating. Too bad that the police are too busy harassing minorities and writing traffic tickets to, you know, DO anything about it.
 
2021-10-15 4:16:30 PM  
Fark lawyers, since there was no contact and the girl wasn't awake to be exposed to, are they still able to get him with something like lewd and lascivious conduct w/ minor, or is he just going to get the burglary charge?
 
2021-10-15 4:17:07 PM  

Dr.Fey: If you're done with Florida, there is a plan.

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Clever idea, but have they run that by France, Switzerland and Australia?
 
2021-10-15 4:17:20 PM  
Give that dog a wiener.
 
2021-10-15 4:17:25 PM  

Dr.Fey: If you're done with Florida, there is a plan.

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New Jersey retirees are decades ahead of you on that one.
 
2021-10-15 4:17:26 PM  
Chemical castration. It's the "human" way to deal with such problems.
 
2021-10-15 4:18:14 PM  

Dr.Fey: If you're done with Florida, there is a plan.

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PirateKing: Dr.Fey: If you're done with Florida, there is a plan.

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I say we swap it for South Korea. Let ol' Kim try throwing stuff across the DMZ into St Pete. First spring break and half of the population will be in gulags and the other half will be in North Korea still.

Meanwhile we get electronics, food, entertainment, and a rich cultural history lasting thousands of years, and if we're lucky we get their broadband speeds.

SK gets away from crazy, cheap shipping to the US, and I guess that's it.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-15 4:18:15 PM  

MikeyFuccon: Attaboy. Get that good dog some steak.

If you want to give him prime cuts of Florida Man, I'll allow that too.


Dogs for the farking win. I worry a lot less if my wife is home alone while I work late because of our dog. She is a pit and I know the distrust of that breed is warranted but man, I have never encountered a dog so devoted and loving than a pitbull. She is our guardian and stupidly adorable. 
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2021-10-15 4:19:24 PM  
My question is what kind of person has a video recording system set up that can see their bedroom door, but also isn't paranoid enough to put alarms on their exterior doors?
 
2021-10-15 4:20:22 PM  
Maybe he was a dog lover and just really wanted to entertain the dog
 
2021-10-15 4:20:46 PM  

ToughActinProlactin: Fark lawyers, since there was no contact and the girl wasn't awake to be exposed to, are they still able to get him with something like lewd and lascivious conduct w/ minor, or is he just going to get the burglary charge?


Breaking and entering? Indecent exposure? Voyeurism? I don't know but if "the girl wasn't awake to be exposed to" how did anyone know he stood there for exactly three minutes?
 
2021-10-15 4:21:49 PM  

blondambition: ToughActinProlactin: Fark lawyers, since there was no contact and the girl wasn't awake to be exposed to, are they still able to get him with something like lewd and lascivious conduct w/ minor, or is he just going to get the burglary charge?

Breaking and entering? Indecent exposure? Voyeurism? I don't know but if "the girl wasn't awake to be exposed to" how did anyone know he stood there for exactly three minutes?


From TFA:

"
Once inside, he walked to the doorway of the girl's room and stood there for about three minutes before walking away, arrest reports state. A video surveillance system inside the home recorded what happened, reports state.

d with his hands inside of the front of his shorts," the arrest report states."
 
2021-10-15 4:22:23 PM  

ToughActinProlactin: blondambition: ToughActinProlactin: Fark lawyers, since there was no contact and the girl wasn't awake to be exposed to, are they still able to get him with something like lewd and lascivious conduct w/ minor, or is he just going to get the burglary charge?

Breaking and entering? Indecent exposure? Voyeurism? I don't know but if "the girl wasn't awake to be exposed to" how did anyone know he stood there for exactly three minutes?

From TFA:

"
Once inside, he walked to the doorway of the girl's room and stood there for about three minutes before walking away, arrest reports state. A video surveillance system inside the home recorded what happened, reports state.


"He is captured with his hands inside of the front of his shorts," the arrest report states.

/ftfm
 
2021-10-15 4:23:12 PM  
These Halloween remarks are getting weird.
 
2021-10-15 4:26:54 PM  
They need to be searching his hard drives at this point. That's the only way they will get him on sex offender  type charges. Otherwise this is just a B&E
 
2021-10-15 4:27:34 PM  
Deputies said Marnets broke through the home's garage door, then was able to break through a lock to get into the home.

And he's not charged with breaking and entering?
 
2021-10-15 4:30:30 PM  

AnotherBluesStringer: When interviewed by deputies, Marnets denied that he committed a burglary, saying that he "did not take anything," reports state.

Well, that's certainly one way to play it.


/I bet he probably left 'something'....on the floor.

/retch
 
2021-10-15 4:30:40 PM  
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2021-10-15 4:31:45 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: baka-san: Like subby has never had really itchy balls

You know how I know you don't have a daughter?


He still has some money and all his hair?
 
2021-10-15 4:36:56 PM  
So I guess he'll be running for Senator then?
 
2021-10-15 4:42:04 PM  
Weirdest "Halloween" reboot ever.
 
2021-10-15 4:50:23 PM  
Having a surveillance system inside your house cant be good for your mental health or your childs. Being paranoid all the time is no way to live life
 
2021-10-15 4:50:45 PM  
I would recommend awarding of the Hero tag to the family dog (with caveats--no, dog that's not a treat)

1st of all, guy broke in, came through the garage door and stood by girl's door for 3 minutes. (WTF were you doing, dog, during this?  Licking your delicious balls?)

Guy walks around, thinks he might want to take another pass by young girl's room.  Okay, now you decide to get your ass off the floor and cause a ruckus.  Good bark, but in this situation, a good bite is the preferred action.
 
2021-10-15 4:54:57 PM  
I still prefer the older version of Goldilocks.
 
2021-10-15 4:55:56 PM  
I live in a rural neighborhood. We can hear the Southern Pacific rail line at night, 5 miles away.
I wake up in the middle of the night if the cat farts.
How in the f*ck did they not hear this?
 
2021-10-15 4:58:08 PM  

Maud Dib: I live in a rural neighborhood. We can hear the Southern Pacific rail line at night, 5 miles away.
I wake up in the middle of the night if the cat farts.
How in the f*ck did they not hear this?


This just sounds like you shouldn't store your tuba next to where your cat sleeps.
 
2021-10-15 5:03:09 PM  

Karma Chameleon: Having a surveillance system inside your house cant be good for your mental health or your childs.


A picture of the surveillance system inside my house.  Not inexpensive, but extremely effective.

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-15 5:10:50 PM  
iheartscotch:
He's definitely escalating. Too bad that the police are too busy harassing minorities and writing traffic tickets to, you know, DO anything about it.

1. Post video of incident to sheriff's Facebook page
2. Follow-up on tips that lead to both suspect's sister and employer who confirmed suspect's identity
3. Talk to suspect and arrest him.
4. Be accused of doing nothing about crime.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-15 5:14:21 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: baka-san: Like subby has never had really itchy balls

You know how I know you don't have a daughter?


Father's are way too occupied with their daughters 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
 
2021-10-15 5:16:43 PM  

ToughActinProlactin: Fark lawyers, since there was no contact and the girl wasn't awake to be exposed to, are they still able to get him with something like lewd and lascivious conduct w/ minor, or is he just going to get the burglary charge?


Why let facts determine that?
 
2021-10-15 5:17:42 PM  

UltimaCS: My question is what kind of person has a video recording system set up that can see their bedroom door, but also isn't paranoid enough to put alarms on their exterior doors?


Gun owners
 
2021-10-15 5:18:46 PM  

COMALite J: Dr.Fey: If you're done with Florida, there is a plan.

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Uhm, the panhandle is the worst part of Floriduh.


Pasco County is definitely runner up. It's for people who are too trashy to live in Tampa.
 
2021-10-15 5:21:15 PM  
Stare-a-normal Activity.
 
2021-10-15 5:22:31 PM  

UltimaCS: My question is what kind of person has a video recording system set up that can see their bedroom door, but also isn't paranoid enough to put alarms on their exterior doors?


/raises hand

I'm not paranoid at all. I have two TP-Link cameras in my house, one of which is in the diningroom and sees down the hall to the bedrooms. I didn't get them for security, I got them to check in on what my dog was doing when I was at work - and because they were on sale and I love gadgets, and already am bought into thee TP-Link ecosystem.

So I don't have a security system - unless you count the dog. And being that he sometimes hears deer walking outside our house in the middle of the night and wants me to let him out to bark at them, I'm pretty sure he'll alert us to anyone actually forcing a lock.
 
2021-10-15 5:26:41 PM  

AnotherBluesStringer: When interviewed by deputies, Marnets denied that he committed a burglary, saying that he "did not take anything," reports state.

Well, that's certainly one way to play it.


Serious question, how is this burglary and not breaking and entering?
 
2021-10-15 5:32:58 PM  
"Marnet's occupation is listed on arrest reports as a welder"
Unemployed it is.
 
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