Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Metro)   Do not slap a correctional officer's ass no matter how "excited" you are   (metro.co.uk) divider line
    More: Sick, Prison, Bullying, restraining order, wheelchair-bound prisoner, The Prisoner, Prosecutor Arfan Ahmed, Vanetha Armon, Paul Morgan  
•       •       •

3831 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Oct 2021 at 1:35 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



53 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2021-10-15 9:50:45 AM  
He thought it was allowed because it's this month's TikTok challenge.
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-15 1:36:26 PM  
You're not my supervisor jailer.
 
2021-10-15 1:37:50 PM  

Walker: He thought it was allowed because it's this month's TikTok challenge.
[pbs.twimg.com image 727x1200]


Probably not real.

Jerkum.
 
2021-10-15 1:38:21 PM  
Yeah, no sympathy for this asshole. Lock him up!

/er, wait...
 
2021-10-15 1:40:51 PM  
c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-15 1:41:07 PM  
I would like to see if said ass is worth 6 months.
 
2021-10-15 1:41:20 PM  
64.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-15 1:41:59 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [c.tenor.com image 414x232] [View Full Size image _x_]


64.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-15 1:45:43 PM  
Write this down. These are the key words that you say.

'I continued to walk away as I was still in shock, I felt sick,' the guard added. 'I started to feel myself get angry and upset.' 'I do not accept being assaulted as part of my job...I do not accept coming to work and having to face this.'
 
TWX
2021-10-15 1:46:28 PM  

stuhayes2010: I would like to see if said ass is worth 6 months.


There's no ass that I've ever seen, be it in person or through some medium, worth six months.
 
2021-10-15 1:46:38 PM  
The 66-year-old has 14 previous convictions for 46 offences, of which 13 are for battery and drugs offences

these are the type of individuals  that end up costing the taxpayer millions of dollars to babysit them as a career idiot.
 
2021-10-15 1:47:24 PM  

WDFark think for a second: Walker: He thought it was allowed because it's this month's TikTok challenge.
[pbs.twimg.com image 727x1200]

Probably not real.

Jerkum.


Tell that to all the kids getting in trouble for doing the challenges.
 
2021-10-15 1:47:48 PM  

TWX: stuhayes2010: I would like to see if said ass is worth 6 months.

There's no ass that I've ever seen, be it in person or through some medium, worth six months.


I feel very sorry for you.
 
2021-10-15 1:49:01 PM  
Don't forget the seven years on the sex offender registry.

Judge was not playing.
 
2021-10-15 1:49:58 PM  

Trocadero: Prank Call of Cthulhu: [c.tenor.com image 414x232] [View Full Size image _x_]

[64.media.tumblr.com image 500x278] [View Full Size image _x_]


dammit, i was about to grab that

/no, the video
 
2021-10-15 1:50:43 PM  

WDFark think for a second: Walker: He thought it was allowed because it's this month's TikTok challenge.
[pbs.twimg.com image 727x1200]

Probably not real.

Jerkum.


nearly killed him!
 
2021-10-15 1:51:04 PM  
MLB Quote of 2008 'Ass Hammer'
Youtube yiJwoNSLRwg


"getting your ass hammered by the guys....best feeling in the world."
 
2021-10-15 1:51:59 PM  
To be fair I can get how a wide rear end in those security/correctional officer pants can get people excited. On the other hand I have the self control to avoid going to jail, particularly that many times.
 
2021-10-15 1:58:32 PM  
FTFA
"The wheelchair-bound prisoner was soon to be released from the Category B prison, where he was sent for harassment and breaching a restraining order, ..."

sounds like poor impulse control is this guy's problem.  if he was 14 you could maybe overlook it, once but at 66 he's not going to change w/o some dire consequences.
 
2021-10-15 1:59:58 PM  
This was Wormwood Scrubs.

I wonder if she smelt of pubs.
 
2021-10-15 2:01:19 PM  
14 convictions for 46 offenses.
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-15 2:02:47 PM  
Never slap any woman's ass that you are nor currently intimate with and even then it probably isn't a good idea.
 
2021-10-15 2:18:12 PM  
"But he broke down in tears as a judge extended his sentence for an act of 'degradation and humiliation' against a 'vulnerable' victim who was 'just doing her job'. "

Oh for fark's sake, it's a prison guard, not a starving orphan. Skip the editorializing, sentence the crime, and move on.
 
2021-10-15 2:23:09 PM  

TWX: stuhayes2010: I would like to see if said ass is worth 6 months.

There's no ass that I've ever seen, be it in person or through some medium, worth six months.


I've got one in mind. She was a hostess at a Greek restaurant. It was the first time I'd ever seen what became known to me as "an onion ass"... that's an ass so nice it brings tears to your eyes.
 
2021-10-15 2:24:19 PM  

TWX: stuhayes2010: I would like to see if said ass is worth 6 months.

There's no ass that I've ever seen, be it in person or through some medium, worth six months.


What about 9 months? Although, I suppose, it'd be more accurate to say 18-20 years.
 
2021-10-15 2:25:58 PM  

Yellow Beard: Never slap any woman's ass that you are nor currently intimate with and even then it probably isn't a good idea.


grabbing them by the pussy is fine though, right?
 
2021-10-15 2:26:52 PM  

xxBirdMadGirlxx: Don't forget the seven years on the sex offender registry.

Judge was not playing.


If a slap on the ass in excitement means 7 years on a sex offender list, that list would 99% consist of sportsball players, coaches, welders, industrial mechanics (especially when they're hanging halfway out of a machine), construction workers, plumbers, line cooks, bartenders & barbacks, rednecks, and drinking buddies trying to fark up your pool shot.

Dude farked up & forgot his place being Black in prison & apologized. 7 years on the list means he'll *definitely* be back after he can't get a job with the double-whammy of prison and The List. Which is the goal.

People lose sight of numbers. Is $7 a lot? No. Is 7 YEARS a lot? It's 1/10 the average lifespan. Dude's gonna die on The List.
 
2021-10-15 2:28:14 PM  

Lady J: Yellow Beard: Never slap any woman's ass that you are nor currently intimate with and even then it probably isn't a good idea.

grabbing them by the pussy is fine though, right?


Not on my planet. Can't speak for your home world.
 
2021-10-15 2:30:04 PM  

Robinfro: xxBirdMadGirlxx: Don't forget the seven years on the sex offender registry.

Judge was not playing.

If a slap on the ass in excitement means 7 years on a sex offender list, that list would 99% consist of sportsball players, coaches, welders, industrial mechanics (especially when they're hanging halfway out of a machine), construction workers, plumbers, line cooks, bartenders & barbacks, rednecks, and drinking buddies trying to fark up your pool shot.

Dude farked up & forgot his place being Black in prison & apologized. 7 years on the list means he'll *definitely* be back after he can't get a job with the double-whammy of prison and The List. Which is the goal.

People lose sight of numbers. Is $7 a lot? No. Is 7 YEARS a lot? It's 1/10 the average lifespan. Dude's gonna die on The List.


I'd normally say that's a bit harsh but this guy brought this all on himself.
 
2021-10-15 2:30:56 PM  

Lady J: Yellow Beard: Never slap any woman's ass that you are nor currently intimate with and even then it probably isn't a good idea.

grabbing them by the pussy is fine though, right?


Your asking?
 
2021-10-15 2:42:34 PM  

Tangenital: This was Wormwood Scrubs.

I wonder if she smelt of pubs.


Wormwood Scrubs is the name of my absinthe fueled psychobilly band
 
2021-10-15 2:43:28 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [c.tenor.com image 414x232]


Reminds me of my first job. Ages ago. Coworker had this big, really big, beautiful butt. JFC. To be in 1989 again . FML fark this time line. Ftw.
 
2021-10-15 2:55:21 PM  
4th grader threw a crayon at me today because I asked him to do some work.

Which is at least as interesting as this story.
 
2021-10-15 3:01:47 PM  

Yellow Beard: Never slap any woman's ass that you are nor currently intimate with and even then it probably isn't a good idea.


Not even if you are intimate? That's one of the main bonuses of being intimate.
 
2021-10-15 3:03:48 PM  

Robinfro: 7 years on the list means he'll *definitely* be back after he can't get a job with the double-whammy of prison and The List. Which is the goal.


The guy has 14 prior convictions and is 66 years old, I don't think this will fark up his future career goals much.
 
2021-10-15 3:04:49 PM  
img.wondercostumes.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-15 3:06:23 PM  
Slap-Ass - Key & Peele
Youtube 5-uIwpo0dCU


/Possible not safe for work material
//But is it Key & Peele, so you already knew that
 
2021-10-15 3:07:05 PM  

Yellow Beard: Never slap any woman's ass that you are nor currently intimate with and even then it probably isn't a good idea.


What about if it is your mom?
daughter smacks her moms ass!!!
Youtube kOclfS1B96c
 
2021-10-15 3:38:34 PM  

stuhayes2010: I would like to see if said ass is worth 6 months.


Indeed. A whole article and no photos of anything but random hallways?
What the heck is this??
 
2021-10-15 3:43:12 PM  
Headso: What about if it is your mom?

that is an extremely smacktastic ass tho
 
2021-10-15 3:50:31 PM  

jaivirtualcard: Yellow Beard: Never slap any woman's ass that you are nor currently intimate with and even then it probably isn't a good idea.

Not even if you are intimate? That's one of the main bonuses of being intimate.


agreed
 
2021-10-15 3:57:14 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-15 4:01:11 PM  
Should have gone full kancho
 
2021-10-15 4:10:27 PM  

Yellow Beard: Never slap any woman's ass that you are nor currently intimate with and even then it probably isn't a good idea.


You and I have dated very different women.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-15 4:22:47 PM  
Right there on the butt-tocks.
 
2021-10-15 4:32:36 PM  

Robinfro: xxBirdMadGirlxx: Don't forget the seven years on the sex offender registry.

Judge was not playing.

If a slap on the ass in excitement means 7 years on a sex offender list, that list would 99% consist of sportsball players, coaches, welders, industrial mechanics (especially when they're hanging halfway out of a machine), construction workers, plumbers, line cooks, bartenders & barbacks, rednecks, and drinking buddies trying to fark up your pool shot.

Dude farked up & forgot his place being Black in prison & apologized. 7 years on the list means he'll *definitely* be back after he can't get a job with the double-whammy of prison and The List. Which is the goal.

People lose sight of numbers. Is $7 a lot? No. Is 7 YEARS a lot? It's 1/10 the average lifespan. Dude's gonna die on The List.


It is an ass slap against someone who clearly wouldn't consent.

That is noticably different from waitresses pinching my ass or giving a poke from time to time. While none asked permission, the difference between an environment of play and an environment of business, as well as us being equals and not adversaries, makes all the difference.

This wasn't a guy having fun with a coworker, friend, or teammate. This is assault.
 
2021-10-15 4:46:02 PM  
That depends I saw a documentary online where they had female prison guards in a male prison due to a staffing shortage. It worked out very well for those guys.
 
2021-10-15 4:50:01 PM  

Headso: Yellow Beard: Never slap any woman's ass that you are nor currently intimate with and even then it probably isn't a good idea.

What about if it is your mom?
[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/kOclfS1B​96c]


according to some internet research i've done that isn't a deal breaker.
 
2021-10-15 4:57:37 PM  
soranews24.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-15 5:39:06 PM  

leeksfromchichis: [soranews24.com image 580x580]


Yeah kancho would straight up get you charged with sexual assault
 
Displayed 50 of 53 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.