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(The Scottish Sun)   Don't you hate it when you're trying to be a Good Samaritan and help a guy down on his luck fix his broken bike, then realize it was your own and he's a no good thief? Bonus: the man was also charged with "having a knife without reasonable excuse or lawful authority"   (thescottishsun.co.uk) divider line
    More: Awkward, The Sun, The Times, Newspaper, News of the World, News Corporation, News International, Paul Hartey, United Kingdom  
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2023 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Oct 2021 at 8:12 PM (10 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



27 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-10-13 8:18:21 PM  
A knife? In America the guy would've pulled out a 9mm and shot the guy, not just brandished a knife.

What a loser.
 
2021-10-13 8:18:44 PM  
I don't remember, I don't recall
I got no memory of anything at all
 
2021-10-13 8:24:39 PM  
I don't think bike thieves should be killed for the crime, but I am of the opinion that public beatings are deserved.
 
2021-10-13 8:34:10 PM  
Just rig the bike so the seat will fall off the moment he stands on the pedals.
 
2021-10-13 8:40:30 PM  
The thief must have been high. When the owner said "That's my bike" as they were working on it, the sober and correct response would have been "You should have kept it in better condition".
 
2021-10-13 9:00:14 PM  
"Miss Howie added: "As he tried to fix it, Mr Devlin recognised stickers and helmet attached to the bike."

The guy stole the helmet too? Well, that was prudent I guess? Safety first 🚴🏻♂
 
2021-10-13 9:06:28 PM  

TUFAschistEH: "Miss Howie added: "As he tried to fix it, Mr Devlin recognised stickers and helmet attached to the bike."

The guy stole the helmet too? Well, that was prudent I guess? Safety first 🚴🏻♂


A prudent theif is a safe theif.
 
2021-10-13 9:10:59 PM  

Birnone: The thief must have been high. When the owner said "That's my bike" as they were working on it, the sober and correct response would have been "You should have kept it in better condition".


"Thats my bike"
"Yes.  Thank you"
 
2021-10-13 9:11:51 PM  

Squid_for_Brains: Just rig the bike so the seat will fall off the moment he stands on the pedals.


There was a series of videos on YouTube of a guy in the park? With a Bait Bike and the seat was hooked up to a remote control tazer of some sort.
 
2021-10-13 9:21:47 PM  

Squid_for_Brains: Just rig the bike so the seat will fall off the moment he stands on the pedals.


What if my bike already doesn't have a seat?
 
2021-10-13 9:24:51 PM  

Prof. Frink: Squid_for_Brains: Just rig the bike so the seat will fall off the moment he stands on the pedals.

What if my bike already doesn't have a seat?


Hey, I'm not kinkshaming here...
 
2021-10-13 9:30:10 PM  
 
2021-10-13 9:48:01 PM  
They guy obviously needed the bike more than the guy who left it broken in his shed.
 
2021-10-13 10:15:24 PM  

Squid_for_Brains: Just rig the bike so the seat will fall off the moment he stands on the pedals.


One of the most puckering stories an EMT ever told me was about showing up to a call for a kid that went off a ramp on his BMX and the seat flew off midway. The landing was traumatic, apparently.
 
2021-10-13 10:18:29 PM  
I ever tell y'all about the time one of my cousins tried to sell my dad a compressor that he'd stolen from my dad?
 
2021-10-13 10:22:23 PM  

TheReject: Squid_for_Brains: Just rig the bike so the seat will fall off the moment he stands on the pedals.

One of the most puckering stories an EMT ever told me was about showing up to a call for a kid that went off a ramp on his BMX and the seat flew off midway. The landing was traumatic, apparently.


I know that women's bikes have step-through frames in case they want to wear skirts, but the fact that men's bikes don't is some real Sword of Damocles shiat.
 
2021-10-13 11:01:16 PM  

TheReject: Squid_for_Brains: Just rig the bike so the seat will fall off the moment he stands on the pedals.

One of the most puckering stories an EMT ever told me was about showing up to a call for a kid that went off a ramp on his BMX and the seat flew off midway. The landing was traumatic, apparently.


Welp my ass involuntarily clenched at that short story.
 
2021-10-13 11:09:56 PM  
NCSB: a pocket knife saved my friend's life. He was attacked by a rottweiler in front of his house. It messed up his arm and shoulder pretty badly. He got his pocket knife out and stabbed the dog in the side, getting it to run away.

Because this is King County, WA, he is now facing 5 years for this. The prosecutor is arguing that if he had time to get his knife out, he had time to push the dog away, stand up, and escape into his house. His lawyer says this is the easiest case he will ever try.

Back to the topic at hand, England doesn't make any sense to me.
 
2021-10-13 11:32:00 PM  
I read TFA and it sounds like the thief pulled the knife when the owner realized it was his bike.  Did I misunderstand?

/welcome to FARK?
 
2021-10-14 12:23:54 AM  
A reasonable excuse for having a knife:
Because they are farking useful. There are always things that need opened or cut. Not one, in my entire life (secured areas like airports not counted) have I ever thought "If only I didn't have a knife with me, my life would be greatly improved." But there have been *many* occasions where I wish I had a knife on me.   And not for self defense or to cut a biatch, just as a useful tool.

Okay England, I get you don't like guns.  That's fine. You do you. But ffs, you seriously need to get over that knife phobia. You damn sure ain't opening clamshell packages with a spoon.

/used to carry a Leatherman just about everywhere. Before 9/11, I'd hand it to the security guy, walk through the metal detector, and he'd give it right back.
 
2021-10-14 1:44:29 AM  

Katolu: TUFAschistEH: "Miss Howie added: "As he tried to fix it, Mr Devlin recognised stickers and helmet attached to the bike."

The guy stole the helmet too? Well, that was prudent I guess? Safety first 🚴🏻♂

A prudent theif is a safe theif.


Not very, as article states the helmet 'was still attached to the bike'.
Also. love the old Dr. Hook 'I was stoned and I missed it' defense!
 
2021-10-14 2:07:38 AM  

MythDragon: A reasonable excuse for having a knife:
Because they are farking useful. There are always things that need opened or cut. Not one, in my entire life (secured areas like airports not counted) have I ever thought "If only I didn't have a knife with me, my life would be greatly improved." But there have been *many* occasions where I wish I had a knife on me.   And not for self defense or to cut a biatch, just as a useful tool.

Okay England, I get you don't like guns.  That's fine. You do you. But ffs, you seriously need to get over that knife phobia. You damn sure ain't opening clamshell packages with a spoon.

/used to carry a Leatherman just about everywhere. Before 9/11, I'd hand it to the security guy, walk through the metal detector, and he'd give it right back.


Only rebuttal I have here: going into concerts/events, or schools.

That aside, I agree.  I've carried a knife pretty much every day of my adult life, and many days before that mark.  Other than the occasional "No weapons permitted" locations with metal detectors - it's never been a problem.

Sure, if there are size specification laws about, color inside of those - I'm not exactly walking around Tiffany's with a bowie knife.  //That's not a knoif!

A sharp blade is literally one of the first tools humans figured out, because our teeth aren't super sharp and don't regenerate, and our "claws" are some Darwinistic Bullshiat.
 
2021-10-14 2:38:50 AM  

ltdanman44: every man should have a pocket knife

http://thenaturalsouth.blogspot.com/20​19/01/the-kind-of-men-who-carry-pocket​-knives_4.html


Was that guy being sarcastic? Doesn't seem so from the comments.
 
2021-10-14 6:54:16 AM  

MythDragon: A reasonable excuse for having a knife:
Because they are farking useful. There are always things that need opened or cut. Not one, in my entire life (secured areas like airports not counted) have I ever thought "If only I didn't have a knife with me, my life would be greatly improved." But there have been *many* occasions where I wish I had a knife on me.   And not for self defense or to cut a biatch, just as a useful tool.

Okay England, I get you don't like guns.  That's fine. You do you. But ffs, you seriously need to get over that knife phobia. You damn sure ain't opening clamshell packages with a spoon.

/used to carry a Leatherman just about everywhere. Before 9/11, I'd hand it to the security guy, walk through the metal detector, and he'd give it right back.


You can carry a pocketknife in the UK.  Their knife laws prohibit blades over 3", locking blades, automatic blades.  It's not too different from our laws that frequently ban switchblades and butterfly knives, albeit a bit more strict.

/Carries a pocket knife almost everywhere.
 
2021-10-14 7:42:20 AM  

jaivirtualcard: ltdanman44: every man should have a pocket knife

http://thenaturalsouth.blogspot.com/20​19/01/the-kind-of-men-who-carry-pocket​-knives_4.html

Was that guy being sarcastic? Doesn't seem so from the comments.


Not in the slightest.

Do you disagree with what he wrote?
 
2021-10-14 9:46:37 AM  

DeadSeriousIdeaMan: MythDragon: A reasonable excuse for having a knife:
Because they are farking useful. There are always things that need opened or cut. Not one, in my entire life (secured areas like airports not counted) have I ever thought "If only I didn't have a knife with me, my life would be greatly improved." But there have been *many* occasions where I wish I had a knife on me.   And not for self defense or to cut a biatch, just as a useful tool.

Okay England, I get you don't like guns.  That's fine. You do you. But ffs, you seriously need to get over that knife phobia. You damn sure ain't opening clamshell packages with a spoon.

/used to carry a Leatherman just about everywhere. Before 9/11, I'd hand it to the security guy, walk through the metal detector, and he'd give it right back.

Only rebuttal I have here: going into concerts/events, or schools.

That aside, I agree.  I've carried a knife pretty much every day of my adult life, and many days before that mark.  Other than the occasional "No weapons permitted" locations with metal detectors - it's never been a problem.

Sure, if there are size specification laws about, color inside of those - I'm not exactly walking around Tiffany's with a bowie knife.  //That's not a knoif!

A sharp blade is literally one of the first tools humans figured out, because our teeth aren't super sharp and don't regenerate, and our "claws" are some Darwinistic Bullshiat.


Fingernails probably add a decent amount of grip strength, fleshy bits probably give a bit of traction + more generous pressure control.

/higher level thinking probably involves using things other than yourself as the direct weapon.  Less risk.
 
2021-10-14 9:47:22 AM  

Izunbacol: MythDragon: A reasonable excuse for having a knife:
Because they are farking useful. There are always things that need opened or cut. Not one, in my entire life (secured areas like airports not counted) have I ever thought "If only I didn't have a knife with me, my life would be greatly improved." But there have been *many* occasions where I wish I had a knife on me.   And not for self defense or to cut a biatch, just as a useful tool.

Okay England, I get you don't like guns.  That's fine. You do you. But ffs, you seriously need to get over that knife phobia. You damn sure ain't opening clamshell packages with a spoon.

/used to carry a Leatherman just about everywhere. Before 9/11, I'd hand it to the security guy, walk through the metal detector, and he'd give it right back.

You can carry a pocketknife in the UK.  Their knife laws prohibit blades over 3", locking blades, automatic blades.  It's not too different from our laws that frequently ban switchblades and butterfly knives, albeit a bit more strict.

/Carries a pocket knife almost everywhere.


Arent all blades automatic?
 
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