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(Twitter)   Why would anyone send a Halloween card to begin with, much less this?   (twitter.com) divider line
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5459 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2021 at 12:05 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-10-11 5:03:27 AM  
Original Tweet:

 
2021-10-11 10:15:58 AM  
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2021-10-11 12:06:48 PM  
Gimme a "just because"!
 
2021-10-11 12:10:23 PM  
I send my mother Mahogany cards for her birthday. She has a racist streak and thinks it's funny. She doesn't realize I'm making fun of her and that works for me.
 
2021-10-11 12:10:29 PM  
"I haf cam to suq your antibodieeeees!"
 
2021-10-11 12:11:21 PM  

foo monkey: I send my mother Mahogany cards for her birthday. She has a racist streak and thinks it's funny. She doesn't realize I'm making fun of her and that works for me.


Mahogany cards?
 
2021-10-11 12:11:32 PM  
I'd rather get a Halloween card than some birthday card just given out of obligation.
 
2021-10-11 12:11:54 PM  
In what ways would "pandemic" change the tone or subject matter of a greeting card?

"Happy Anniversary, let's sit out back and stare at one another"
 
2021-10-11 12:11:55 PM  
Selling greeting cards is pretty much the perfect scam - right up there with pet rocks, casinos and political merch.
 
2021-10-11 12:13:11 PM  
I imagine it opens to contain a spooky grave yard filled with topical tombstone epitaphs:
"6 feet apart I could not keep, now I lay, 6 feet deep"
"I didn't think the vaccine was tested, now I lay, forever rested."
"I kept my mask on my chin, Now I'll never breathe again."
"I did my own research"
 
2021-10-11 12:15:20 PM  

thealgorerhythm: In what ways would "pandemic" change the tone or subject matter of a greeting card?

"Happy Anniversary, let's sit out back and stare at one another"


It becomes more of a restraining order I think.  "Keep your unvaccinated ass and idiotic misinformation away from me and my family.  Happy Holidays!"
 
2021-10-11 12:15:39 PM  
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2021-10-11 12:16:26 PM  

Nurglitch: foo monkey: I send my mother Mahogany cards for her birthday. She has a racist streak and thinks it's funny. She doesn't realize I'm making fun of her and that works for me.

Mahogany cards?


I had to look it up, too. Apparently Hallmark has their own spicy food aisle.
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2021-10-11 12:16:31 PM  
I can't be the only one who doesn't want to receive greeting cards.
 
2021-10-11 12:18:38 PM  

akya: I imagine it opens to contain a spooky grave yard filled with topical tombstone epitaphs:
"6 feet apart I could not keep, now I lay, 6 feet deep"
"I didn't think the vaccine was tested, now I lay, forever rested."
"I kept my mask on my chin, Now I'll never breathe again."
"I did my own research"


Thread over.

/also, Bravo!
 
2021-10-11 12:22:56 PM  

thealgorerhythm: In what ways would "pandemic" change the tone or subject matter of a greeting card?

"Happy Anniversary, let's sit out back and stare at one another"


..."spookily"

that's what makes it "Halloween"
 
2021-10-11 12:23:37 PM  

foo monkey: I send my mother Mahogany cards for her birthday. She has a racist streak and thinks it's funny. She doesn't realize I'm making fun of her and that works for me.


I guess it's a step up from completely ignoring each other?
 
2021-10-11 12:24:34 PM  
"Why would anyone send a Halloween card to begin with?"

You've obviously never been married to the ex Mrs. PiperArrow. Greeting cards are a minefield in her family that I never quite managed to navigate. When we were dating, I caught all sorts of flack for missing "Sweetest Day". which is a bullshiat made up holiday that midwesterners celebrate. (BTW, it's only 5 days until Sweetest Day, so there's still time to send a card!) Mrs. PiperArrow and her family definitely sent Halloween cards.
 
2021-10-11 12:24:50 PM  
Because not everyone is stuck up.
 
2021-10-11 12:26:14 PM  

Nurglitch: foo monkey: I send my mother Mahogany cards for her birthday. She has a racist streak and thinks it's funny. She doesn't realize I'm making fun of her and that works for me.

Mahogany cards?


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2021-10-11 12:26:29 PM  

trappedspirit: foo monkey: I send my mother Mahogany cards for her birthday. She has a racist streak and thinks it's funny. She doesn't realize I'm making fun of her and that works for me.

I guess it's a step up from completely ignoring each other?


Holy sh*t, that's an option?!?
 
2021-10-11 12:28:13 PM  
Spooky greeting cards were a thing in olden times. They called them "Christmas" cards.

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2021-10-11 12:28:47 PM  

We Ate the Necco Wafers: I can't be the only one who doesn't want to receive greeting cards.


Nope. I keep it around out of guilt, then feel guiltier tossing it in the trash. Pointless. And thanks for the obligation to return the "favor".

The wife and I point to cards as we walk by and say "I'd get that one for you for the next <whatever event>." This is met with "Why, thank you!" We then take the money and buy something actually good, like cake.
 
2021-10-11 12:29:10 PM  
"It's Thursday. Again."

They might be running out of card ideas.
 
2021-10-11 12:29:42 PM  
Why would anyone send a Halloween card to begin with

Grandmas love sending a few bucks to their grandchilden.
 
2021-10-11 12:32:23 PM  

snowshovel: Why would anyone send a Halloween card to begin with

Grandmas love sending a few bucks to their grandchilden.


Boys also love candy.

preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2021-10-11 12:33:47 PM  
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Halloween AND Christmas
 
2021-10-11 12:37:53 PM  

PiperArrow: "Why would anyone send a Halloween card to begin with?"

You've obviously never been married to the ex Mrs. PiperArrow. Greeting cards are a minefield in her family that I never quite managed to navigate. When we were dating, I caught all sorts of flack for missing "Sweetest Day". which is a bullshiat made up holiday that midwesterners celebrate. (BTW, it's only 5 days until Sweetest Day, so there's still time to send a card!) Mrs. PiperArrow and her family definitely sent Halloween cards.


Never heard of Sweetest Day until I went to college in Ohio and no I didn't get my gf anything.
 
2021-10-11 12:38:59 PM  

jaytkay: Spooky greeting cards were a thing in olden times. They called them "Christmas" cards.

[Fark user image 600x929]
[Fark user image 600x373]
[Fark user image 600x404]


Not feelin' the love for Krampus,
the most festive of the christmas demons...
 
2021-10-11 12:39:38 PM  

jaytkay: Nurglitch: foo monkey: I send my mother Mahogany cards for her birthday. She has a racist streak and thinks it's funny. She doesn't realize I'm making fun of her and that works for me.

Mahogany cards?

[Fark user image image 460x345]


Not a fan of the racist undertones in a lot of porn, but I respect the art design involved in that still image. It's kinda awful, but thoughtfully conceived and executed.
 
2021-10-11 12:40:18 PM  

patowen: Selling greeting cards is pretty much the perfect scam - right up there with pet rocks, casinos and political merch.


No greeting cards can actually be meaningful and personal and deep if you actually write something in the cards. I still hold onto some I got from family members as a child especially those that are no longer around. Definitely better than some of the weird gifts I've gotten from some random family members.
 
2021-10-11 12:42:10 PM  
I gave my parents a thanksgiving card once. Mainly, because it was an audio card of Homer talking about eating a package of turkey gravy.
 
2021-10-11 12:45:08 PM  
I have a neighbor with this tombstone in their yard:

2020 - 2021

RONA V.

IRIS

No fun while I was around

 
2021-10-11 12:46:10 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-11 12:49:03 PM  

Bobson Dugnutt: snowshovel: Why would anyone send a Halloween card to begin with

Grandmas love sending a few bucks to their grandchilden.

Boys also love candy.

[preview.redd.it image 542x406]


Yeah, but not old people candy.
 
2021-10-11 12:55:51 PM  

Geotpf: Bobson Dugnutt: snowshovel: Why would anyone send a Halloween card to begin with

Grandmas love sending a few bucks to their grandchilden.

Boys also love candy.

[preview.redd.it image 542x406]

Yeah, but not old people candy.


Necco Wafers. My great-uncle and the always present roll of Necco Wafers. "Hey, you kids want some candy?" but it's Necco Wafers. And we still had to say thank you, because we'd been raised with manners and to respect our elders.
 
2021-10-11 12:56:10 PM  

mybluemake: jaytkay: Nurglitch: foo monkey: I send my mother Mahogany cards for her birthday. She has a racist streak and thinks it's funny. She doesn't realize I'm making fun of her and that works for me.

Mahogany cards?

[Fark user image image 460x345]

Not a fan of the racist undertones in a lot of porn, but I respect the art design involved in that still image. It's kinda awful, but thoughtfully conceived and executed.


The Leni Riefenstahl of racist porn!
 
2021-10-11 12:56:34 PM  

patowen: Selling greeting cards is pretty much the perfect scam - right up there with pet rocks, casinos and political merch.


thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-11 12:57:33 PM  

PiperArrow: "Why would anyone send a Halloween card to begin with?"

You've obviously never been married to the ex Mrs. PiperArrow. Greeting cards are a minefield in her family that I never quite managed to navigate. When we were dating, I caught all sorts of flack for missing "Sweetest Day". which is a bullshiat made up holiday that midwesterners celebrate. (BTW, it's only 5 days until Sweetest Day, so there's still time to send a card!) Mrs. PiperArrow and her family definitely sent Halloween cards.


Similar?
 
2021-10-11 12:58:46 PM  
My family is a various faiths religions and backgrounds, so I enjoy sending seasons greetings stroke New Year's cards, and that's about it I'm really not into Easter cards Passover cards etc. I will send birthday cards, anniversary cards, graduation cards and so on but minor holidays? No!

I went to a high school with a large percentage of Jewish students and one asked me one time why I didn't send him a Passover card? My response was, you didn't send me one. He said but you're not Jewish! My response was: Nu?

The winter cards are for a chance to keep up with people I haven't communicated with all year., Otherwise I do like to keep track of people's birthdays and anniversaries and milestones in their lives like graduations and retirements. I really wish they would send me postcards from their vacations because I like to get them especially local architecture wherever they might be. I really don't need to see pictures of people standing in front of something. Doesn't interest me I really don't want to see how my friends have gotten older so please don't take pictures of yourselves. Selfies can be quite disturbing as we get older. Just let me know where you are or were and I think I'm worth the cost of a forever stamp.

And I really don't like Halloween. I'm not against dressing up in costumes or anything like that. And although as a gay man I have some trepidation about being seen giving sweets to children, my whole problem with this begins with the initial trick or treat scenario. If a child is offering me this proposition, then I believe from the offer that the choice is mine. Do I want a trick or a treat? well, I would prefer a treat, and the child is standing there with a bag full of treats so I think I have the right to reach into the proffered bag and remove a treat and then shut the door! Trick! Thus concluding the trick portion of the proposed agreement. I have been told that I am not supposed to do this for some reason and that by doing so I am bad. Yet if one looks and listens to the entire scenario I believe I am totally justified. Trick or Treat, no? One or the other.  Again, yet every year I am yelled at. I am offered the choice of either a trick or a treat, I choose to instigate the trick portion by taking a treat, which seems very logical, and then I am cursed & vilified. Children cry. Confused parents who don't understand the contract that was offered me curse me and threaten me with physical harm for filching sweets from their children who offered them me as part of an implied contract. I didn't go up to them and say trick or treat, they came to my house and made that proposition to me! The law says I have 3 days to decide whether or not I want to cancel the contract, but they have no such options since the contract was offered to me at my home. You know the old traveling salesman routine. Halloween is quite unjust and I think it needs to seriously be reconsidered and regulated because acids being done now it is not working. It is not working well at all. I think I am unjustly wronged.

And it's not right really that these unscrupulous little con artists are disguising themselves. No we require roofing contractors to have their telephone numbers and give out business cards and have a permanent address, etc although the rules do vary from state to state, yet Halloween seems to be more uniform. When one of these little hucksters offers me the contract of trick or treat, they ought to be required to show me their real photo ID as well as their address and telephone number. Especially if they're going to make a fuss about me reaching into their bag taking a treat saying trick I choose trick and closing the door. No. This whole thing of Halloween needs to be rethought it isn't working well at all.
 
2021-10-11 12:58:58 PM  

WDFark think for a second: patowen: Selling greeting cards is pretty much the perfect scam - right up there with pet rocks, casinos and political merch.

No greeting cards can actually be meaningful and personal and deep if you actually write something in the cards. I still hold onto some I got from family members as a child especially those that are no longer around. Definitely better than some of the weird gifts I've gotten from some random family members.


I assume this was meant to say "unless you actually write something".

Yea, I can't bring myself to send pre-written cards. Even if for Mother's Day all I can come up with is "Thanks for everything, Mom!", I feel glad about it instead of lame.
 
2021-10-11 1:03:58 PM  
There is a lady at the dog park who we walk with each day while the dogs frolic.

On her birthday we gave her an audio card with dogs barking a greeting or something or another.

Each year on her birthday she brings it to the park to show it around and thank us for the wonderful card.

Some people are appreciative and easy to please.
 
2021-10-11 1:04:19 PM  
I modified Christmas cards into Halloween cards one year, and sent them out. zombie Santas, vampire snowmen, etc etc et al. Even made a hannukah candle card spooky.

I got no replies. Who knows, maybe I was put on some weirdo watchlists.
 
2021-10-11 1:13:29 PM  

mybluemake: jaytkay: Nurglitch: foo monkey: I send my mother Mahogany cards for her birthday. She has a racist streak and thinks it's funny. She doesn't realize I'm making fun of her and that works for me.

Mahogany cards?

[Fark user image image 460x345]

Not a fan of the racist undertones in a lot of porn, but I respect the art design involved in that still image. It's kinda awful, but thoughtfully conceived and executed.


From a literary perspective, it's also a pretty good example of "foreshadowing."
 
2021-10-11 1:13:41 PM  
Not a card, but Halloween ish

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2021-10-11 1:17:54 PM  
I did a search this morning for Papyrus greeting cards (it's a brand) and this inexplicably came up in the search results. (It's not one of their cards.)

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2021-10-11 1:23:11 PM  
It's for anybody who may not be aware that there is a pandemic, it's ongoing and it is also a farking horror story.

(shrug) LOL
 
2021-10-11 1:23:20 PM  

MelGoesOnTour: akya: I imagine it opens to contain a spooky grave yard filled with topical tombstone epitaphs:
"6 feet apart I could not keep, now I lay, 6 feet deep"
"I didn't think the vaccine was tested, now I lay, forever rested."
"I kept my mask on my chin, Now I'll never breathe again."
"I did my own research"

Thread over.

/also, Bravo!


Lie, dammit, not lay,
 
2021-10-11 1:28:39 PM  

Bennie Crabtree: I modified Christmas cards into Halloween cards one year, and sent them out. zombie Santas, vampire snowmen, etc etc et al. Even made a hannukah candle card spooky.

I got no replies. Who knows, maybe I was put on some weirdo watchlists.


That's very cool and imaginative.
 
2021-10-11 1:32:09 PM  

Barricaded Gunman: From a literary perspective, it's also a pretty good example of "foreSKIN-shadowing."


FTFY
 
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