Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Science.org)   "Distant cosmic explosion" turns out to have been a reflection from Russian space junk   (science.org) divider line
    More: PSA, Astronomy, Gamma-ray burst, W. M. Keck Observatory, Star, Sky, Observatory, team of astronomers, Howard B. Keck  
•       •       •

328 clicks; posted to STEM » on 08 Oct 2021 at 10:15 PM (44 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2021-10-08 10:23:27 PM  
3 votes:
'It's a smegging garbage pod'
 
2021-10-09 12:36:49 AM  
2 votes:
So I had extra beans, and I'm sure it was just the "add water and stir, and when they get crusty add more water" variety but with everything else on the plate I really wasn't picking apart any one ingredient for its flavor profile.  I also added guac and some queso so it might have been those, although my usual reaction to queso and guac is a smooth kind of sit, wait, slow log flume, and maybe a bit of a poot at the end just to finish off.  No drama.

But the beans I think somehow weren't "cooked" right, and by that i mean simmered in lukewarm water until crunchy then watered like a wilted plant.  There's fiber that has to be softened.  And your biome plays a role, but fiber can really screw up and already screwy digestive tract, which kind of looks like the absolute worst roller coaster ever, followed by the most deadly roller coaster ever, followed by as I said a log flume.

So we had the traditional early fall/late summer firewood cookout, where you just have hot dogs and some cheap knockoff of smores with marshmallows and if you're lucky a graham cracker that isn't soggy, and there's no chocolate anywhere, and I'm feeling rumbly.  As in, I haven't eaten in a few hours and my stomach pulls air down and it goes all the way through, farty kind of rumbly.  I could lie down, have a fart, and be right as rain, no worries.  And it rumbles, and I'm cooking a dog and saying, just wait, you'll be fed once thing has some burnt on it.

Well a breeze hits, the embers fly up from the fire like little Chinese lanterns only with deadly intent, land on my outstretched arm, and elsewhere though that is enough for me to throw my stick into the fire, curse, and literally start to shiat myself.  I jump up to go into the woods, and the action continues the shiat just through muscular reaction only it has a large amount of flatulence to work with.

An ember on the back of my pants is enough to light the flatulence on fire, and history is born.  People are puking just at the sight and the unburnt vapors, my legs are soggy and my socks about to be, and I'm face down ass up being a Fourth of July firework.  And the proof is on TikTok.

I'm sorry to cause everyone's time.  It wasn't some distant star.  It was just some stupid beans.
 
Displayed 2 of 2 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.