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(Chicago Sun-Times)   German archeologists discover toilet on which Martin Luther wrote the 95 Theses that launched the Protestant Reformation   ( suntimes.com) divider line
    More: Interesting  
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12874 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Oct 2004 at 4:16 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2004-10-22 09:30:41 AM  
[image from myimgs.com too old to be available]

"It's beautiful!"
2004-10-22 09:45:55 AM  
I'm telling you, you come up some of your best ideas while sitting on the can.
2004-10-22 10:23:56 AM  
..and dubbed it the "Holy Crapper"
2004-10-22 10:34:07 AM  
holy shiat?
2004-10-22 11:35:59 AM  
The 95 Feces?
2004-10-22 12:29:43 PM  
Was there also a Playboy nearby?
2004-10-22 12:34:08 PM  
Thesis #96: The Pope may crap in the woods, but a Protestant uses a toilet, by God.
2004-10-22 12:43:58 PM  
Luther was cool. He became a monk because he was struck by lightning. He wasn't on the crapper when that happened.

If I could find it, I'd post a picture of the "epiphany toilet" from Scrubs here. Ah well.
2004-10-22 04:20:54 PM  
Wow, religion and toilets have more than one thing in common.
2004-10-22 04:21:49 PM  
Luther frequently alluded to the fact that he suffered from chronic constipation and spent much of his time in contemplation on the toilet.
2004-10-22 04:22:49 PM  
Yeah, he was going to just write some graffiti in the stall, but he got all carried away...
2004-10-22 04:23:21 PM  
would stop at letting the annual 80,000 visitors to Wittenberg sit on the toilet

Typical, whenever you find a bathroom there's a queue.
2004-10-22 04:23:34 PM  
I knew the Protestant Reformation was built on crap...
2004-10-22 04:24:05 PM  
[image from educ.msu.edu too old to be available]

The look of chronic constipation
2004-10-22 04:24:22 PM  
Wow, religion and toilets have more than one thing in common.

Meshman wins.

/checks sarcasm at the door
2004-10-22 04:24:49 PM  
"I just wanna see the spoons!"
2004-10-22 04:25:19 PM  
while little attention has been paid to anything three-dimensional and human behind them.

Unfortunate choice of phrase.
2004-10-22 04:25:26 PM  
Cakehunter - Catholics want to share their shiat with everyone
2004-10-22 04:25:39 PM  
Here I sit, upon the pot,
How to crap, I know not.
A good hard push,
from my tush,
I blow a hole
right through the bowl.
2004-10-22 04:25:48 PM  
Martin Luther: the original Tidy Bowl Man.

I wonder how he dealt with the backsplash when you pinch a loaf. Always gives me the shivers when that water hits.

/The more you know ...

2004-10-22 04:26:08 PM  
GIS for constipated

[image from maxspeak.org too old to be available]
2004-10-22 04:26:19 PM  
I don't know about ML, but whenever I take a well-earned shiat, I hear the theme from "Chariots of Fire" playing ...

/read Erikson's bio of ML in college
2004-10-22 04:26:29 PM  
The submitter should have replaced theses with feces...
2004-10-22 04:27:27 PM  
Even the headline was far too much information.

/the more you wish you didn't know
2004-10-22 04:27:49 PM  
95 Theses on Feces?
2004-10-22 04:27:54 PM  
UncleBuck4U: See what a Catholic upbringing will do to you?

Reminds me of Family Guy:
Peter Griffin: I'm looking for some toilet training books.

Salesman: We have the popular 'Everybody Poops", or the less popular 'Nobody Poops but You'.

Peter: Well, you see, we're Catholic...

Salesman: Ah, then you'll want 'You're a Naughty, Naughty Boy, and That's Concentrated Evil Coming Out the Back of You'.
2004-10-22 04:28:38 PM  
Protestantism is the shiat!
2004-10-22 04:28:42 PM  
Martin Luther was an anti-semetic piece of crap:

"Therefore be on your guard against the Jews, knowing that wherever they have their synagogues, nothing is found but a den of devils in which sheer selfglory, conceit, lies, blasphemy, and defaming of God and men are practiced most maliciously and veheming his eyes on them."
2004-10-22 04:28:52 PM  
That was outstanding, Rye_ !
2004-10-22 04:29:39 PM  
It's wonderful to think that this is the place where the first Protestant Movement was created.
2004-10-22 04:29:43 PM  
Luther was a class A loon. He thought he saw devils and demons all the time (not metaphorically either). A lot of his writings were edited since he was fond of using references to crap.

Originally, it wasn't "ink" that he threw at the devil.
2004-10-22 04:29:47 PM  
toilet also proclaims:

Metallica rocks sucks <- No you suck
Eat me more pudding.
2004-10-22 04:30:26 PM  
Now THAT explains a lot of his other quotes, particularly about women and Jews...
2004-10-22 04:30:46 PM  
So Luther was reading some of the current Catholic theological works, and said to himself: "You know, I could crap better theology than this!"
2004-10-22 04:31:36 PM  
And to think that entire Protestant sect is named after him...
2004-10-22 04:33:35 PM  
Theses95? I tried reading it but I keep getting the Blue Page of Death.
2004-10-22 04:33:39 PM  
You know, honestly, I feel the crapper is one of the few places I can TOTALLY relax. Its like you dont have to keep your bung tense or anything, you can literally let everything "go"

I love taking a shiat almost as much as I love eating...

/thin guy
2004-10-22 04:34:05 PM  
It's "to" bad the archeologists didn't use spellcheck.

so what, did they test for assprints? Do DNA samples on fossilized feces? Help me out here.

2004-10-22 04:34:20 PM  
Martin Luther was hardly cool, even though he is the one who said, "Who loves not women, wine and song remains a fool his whole life long."

BUT WAIT! He also said:

"Reason is a whore, the greatest enemy that faith has."


"I am afraid that the schools will prove the very gates of hell, unless they diligently labor in explaining the Holy Scriptures and engraving them in the heart of the youth."


"The reproduction of mankind is a great marvel and mystery. Had God consulted me in the matter, I should have advised him to continue the generation of the species by fashioning them out of clay."

Oh well, if he lived today, he would have been a great troll to have in many a Fark flamewar.
2004-10-22 04:35:15 PM  
"Ouu, I created Lutherans!"

- Lisa
2004-10-22 04:35:42 PM  
It was quite a task to nail those 95 feces to the church door.
2004-10-22 04:35:46 PM  
Obviously Martin didn't have enough fibre in his diet.
2004-10-22 04:36:10 PM  
"Reason is a whore, the greatest enemy that faith has." -Martin Luther, that crazy ol' Anti-Semite witchburner.
2004-10-22 04:37:29 PM  

"The 450-year-old toilet, which was very advanced for its time, is made out of stone blocks and, unusually, has a seat with a hole"

So most toilets back then didn't have a hole in the seat?
2004-10-22 04:37:38 PM  
Somebody needs to tack a list of 95 theses to George Bush's skull.

While he's on the toilet.
2004-10-22 04:38:21 PM  
Every religion was pulled out of someone's ass.
2004-10-22 04:38:43 PM  
He was also the first person to realize that turds are tapered so your asshole doesn't slam shut.
2004-10-22 04:39:03 PM  
"So far no epiphanies. Except that outdoor toilet seats are like frickin' icicles! Eh, at least no one saw me go...." -Elliot, from Scrubs
2004-10-22 04:39:18 PM  
So most toilets back then didn't have a hole in the seat?

Real Catholics crap their pants.
2004-10-22 04:39:34 PM  
Hope he washed his hands before nailing it to the door of the church.
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