Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   "I have a real baby. My sister-in-law has a dog she says is her baby. Dogs bite, and they view children as appetizers. Am I right to say that I want her dog--which is an animal, not a baby--nowhere near my child? I think it's reasonable. Am I wrong?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Family, law's dog, Infant, high enough sex drive, Sibling, School Friends, Dog, advice column  
•       •       •

418 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 28 Sep 2021 at 9:35 AM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



46 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-09-28 9:38:33 AM  
th.bing.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-28 9:39:42 AM  
This woman doesn't deserve a dog. Let her have fun with her piece of shiat kid.
 
2021-09-28 9:45:16 AM  
A buddy euthanized his fur baby when his flesh puppy was born. Seemed to work out for all involved. Well, except the fur baby.
 
2021-09-28 9:47:01 AM  

MelGoesOnTour: This woman doesn't deserve a dog. Let her have fun with her piece of shiat kid.


*cough* Sorry, I meant to say something more along the lines of the dog is better off with this gal not being around. I'm guessing that she's exaggerating the whole "biting" issue, too. Something just doesn't seem right.

She sounds a bit like my own SIL. She's full of negativeness which my pooch seems to pick up on. When my dog is even *near* SIL, SIL will react inappropriately which, of course, freaks out the dog. My solution is to not have SIL over at the house. Problem solved!
 
2021-09-28 9:51:54 AM  
But my in-laws seem to see discipline (just normal boundaries and training, not anything punitive) as being mean to the dog, whereas I see it as fundamentally kind.

An untrained dog is a goddamned menace.

My aunt had an untrained Chow/German Shepherd mix and she never trained him or did obedience school. After injuring both of my parents by jumping up on them (admittedly, Mom's skin tore easily and Dad had an artificial hip), they said they'd only visit again if the dog were in another room. Aunt chose the dog.

Your dog, your choices. But don't be surprised when people won't visit you.
 
2021-09-28 9:59:58 AM  
Solution? Keep the kid in the high chair and let the dawg clean up the mess.

Everybody wins.
 
2021-09-28 10:18:51 AM  

MelGoesOnTour: This woman doesn't deserve a dog. Let her have fun with her piece of shiat kid.


Yeah! She should let a dog that is known for biting sit next to her baby. Nothing bad will come from it since baby skin doesn't scar easy anyway.

/Don't ask how I know
 
2021-09-28 10:47:11 AM  
Keep a rolled up newspaper* handy, and swat your sister-in-law with it while yelling "NO!".  You don't need a reason, random times will be fine.  She will eventually get the message and no longer come to your house.  Then you can have your baby and not have to worry her or her snotty little ankle-biter ever coming over.

*A newspaper is a blog made from trees
 
2021-09-28 11:09:35 AM  
Dear Dumbass,

Don't go to your sister-in-law's house.

Love,
JS
 
2021-09-28 11:31:10 AM  
Untrained dogs are annoying at best and dangerous at worst. I wouldn't bring my infant there either.

Also, it's very obvious ITT that a lot of posters here are going to die alone.
 
2021-09-28 11:48:17 AM  
I wouldn't want my kid around a chihuahua or chihuahua owner either.
 
2021-09-28 11:50:08 AM  

Unknown Subject: Also, it's very obvious ITT that a lot of posters here are going to die alone.


How is that new?
 
2021-09-28 11:59:38 AM  
Didn't read TFA, as is tradition, but there always seems to be two competing sides to this argument:

1) Some people just aren't dog people, and come up with the dumbest sounding excuses to avoid interaction with perfectly friendly dogs. For instance, with the couple that lives next door to me, the husband is convinced that all pit bulls everywhere are vicious killing machines, and his wife is literally afraid of our dogs. On the flip side, my wife's family are all dog people, and one Thanksgiving, we had to take 2 month old, in the midst of her I CHEW ON EVERYTHING!! phase, puppy over to their house when we visited. They insisted we let the puppy loose in the house and put their young toddler on the floor to play with her. Everything went great, but we were actually a little uneasy about the situation.

2) Some dogs are spiteful, unpredictable shiats. I've never personally owned one who was, but I've had friends who did. I took a pretty bad bite on the leg a couple years ago while trying to break up a dogfight at a friend's house. Both dogs were theirs, but one was older and clearly getting a bit senile & paranoid; she'd relentlessly start shiat with the other dog. Health issues aside, some dogs just have shiatty temperaments. Like chihuahuas. fark chihuahuas. In these cases, it's perfectly damned reasonable to not want the dog around your kids. It should, in fact, be something that the owner(s) is(are) already aware of.
 
2021-09-28 12:04:41 PM  

olrasputin: Didn't read TFA, as is tradition, but there always seems to be two competing sides to this argument:

1) Some people just aren't dog people, and come up with the dumbest sounding excuses to avoid interaction with perfectly friendly dogs. For instance, with the couple that lives next door to me, the husband is convinced that all pit bulls everywhere are vicious killing machines, and his wife is literally afraid of our dogs.



Keep in mind that every pit bull that has mauled and killed a small child had been, up until that point, the sweetest, gentlest, most even-tempered dog that had ever walked the earth.
 
2021-09-28 12:05:32 PM  

Unknown Subject: Untrained dogs are annoying at best and dangerous at worst. I wouldn't bring my infant there either.

Also, it's very obvious ITT that a lot of posters here are going to die alone.


Backed. We've got two close friends whose dogs are untrained and psychotic upon entering their homes. One is friendly but just easily overexcited, and the other is a goddamned jumping, biting, running menace. A maelstrom of tooth and claw and boundless flailing limb energy. I wouldn't put an infant within 500 feet of either.

I'm always shocked at the number of people here who require a fainting couch when they learn of a parent's apprehension to put dogs & babies together. Sometimes it's not meant to be.
 
2021-09-28 12:11:31 PM  
In other news, 90% of dog owners still baffled that the whole goddamn world doesn't love their dogs.
 
2021-09-28 12:25:08 PM  

Joe Stapler: olrasputin: Didn't read TFA, as is tradition, but there always seems to be two competing sides to this argument:

1) Some people just aren't dog people, and come up with the dumbest sounding excuses to avoid interaction with perfectly friendly dogs. For instance, with the couple that lives next door to me, the husband is convinced that all pit bulls everywhere are vicious killing machines, and his wife is literally afraid of our dogs.


Keep in mind that every pit bull that has mauled and killed a small child had been, up until that point, the sweetest, gentlest, most even-tempered dog that had ever walked the earth.


/eye roll

PLEASE NOTE -- DOG BITE FATALITIES ARE HIGHLY UNUSUAL. Incidents of dog bite fatalities by ANY breed are very rare. There are approximately 15 to 20 dog bite fatalities in the United States a year, and that's out of the 65 million dogs that Americans keep as pets.
Janis Bradley, dog bite researcher and the author of 'Dogs Bite: But Balloons and Slippers Are More Dangerous,' states, "Dogs can be dangerous. And they are more dangerous to children than adults. Not as dangerous, of course, as kitchen utensils, drapery cords, five-gallon buckets, horses or cows. Not nearly as dangerous as playground equipment, swimming pools, skateboards, or bikes. And not remotely as dangerous as family, friends, guns, or cars.
A child is more likely to die choking on a marble or balloon, and an adult is more likely to die in a bedroom slipper related accident. Your chances of being killed by a dog are roughly one in 18 million. You are five times more likely to be killed by a bolt of lightening."
"It is important to emphasize that dogs bite today for the same reasons that they did one hundred or one thousand years ago. Dogs are no more dangerous today than they were a century or millennium ago. They only difference is a shift in human perception of what is and is not natural canine behavior and/or aggression and the breed of dog involved." -- Karen Delise, author of "Fatal Dog Attacks"


Sure, some dogs just snap. Just like people. We're all imperfect biological machines. But pit bulls are firmly "middle of the road" in terms of bite incidence by breed; they're just able to do a lot of damage if they do bite.

And yeah, I'm sure I'm biased because I own a pit rescue. But primarily, I'm angry at the fact that an entire poorly-defined swath of dog breeds is relegated to far higher euthanasia rates in shelters because of outdated, poorly informed stereotypes.
 
2021-09-28 12:41:27 PM  
The decline of western civilization, Part 4.
 
2021-09-28 12:46:49 PM  
We had a family war over family members bringing their dog with them every time they were invited to our house for Thanksgiving Christmas etc.

My wife is very allergic and they knew that. Brought the dog anyway. Last straw was the dog vigorously rubbing its butthole the entiire length of our velvet couch.

When we told them the dog would not be allowed in our house again they acted like we were heartless monsters. "If the dog's not welcome then we're not either."
 
2021-09-28 12:49:05 PM  

olrasputin: PLEASE NOTE -- DOG BITE FATALITIES ARE HIGHLY UNUSUAL.


I'm more concerned about long-haul dog bites.
 
2021-09-28 12:53:55 PM  

olrasputin: And yeah, I'm sure I'm biased because I own a pit rescue. But primarily, I'm angry at the fact that an entire poorly-defined swath of dog breeds is relegated to far higher euthanasia rates in shelters because of outdated, poorly informed stereotypes.


And yet, the next door neighbor's vicious dog that would charge at my vehicle when I drove up and would snarl and snap at the door thus trapping me inside was a pitbull.  Their German Shepherd would stay in the yard and wag his tail. Their Lab just ignored me completely.
I had to pull into my garage and shut the door before I could get out of the vehicle.  And once that didn't work because the little bastard went into the garage.
And yes, the owner was an idiot who thought having  scary dogs made him a tough guy.  But nobody gets a beagle and decides to make it mean so he can look like a badass.

I don't know what my point is, but when I see a pitbull my first thought is "here comes another dog ruined by a jackass"
 
2021-09-28 12:57:25 PM  

olrasputin: Joe Stapler: olrasputin: Didn't read TFA, as is tradition, but there always seems to be two competing sides to this argument:

1) Some people just aren't dog people, and come up with the dumbest sounding excuses to avoid interaction with perfectly friendly dogs. For instance, with the couple that lives next door to me, the husband is convinced that all pit bulls everywhere are vicious killing machines, and his wife is literally afraid of our dogs.


Keep in mind that every pit bull that has mauled and killed a small child had been, up until that point, the sweetest, gentlest, most even-tempered dog that had ever walked the earth.

/eye roll

PLEASE NOTE -- DOG BITE FATALITIES ARE HIGHLY UNUSUAL. Incidents of dog bite fatalities by ANY breed are very rare. There are approximately 15 to 20 dog bite fatalities in the United States a year, and that's out of the 65 million dogs that Americans keep as pets.
Janis Bradley, dog bite researcher and the author of 'Dogs Bite: But Balloons and Slippers Are More Dangerous,' states, "Dogs can be dangerous. And they are more dangerous to children than adults. Not as dangerous, of course, as kitchen utensils, drapery cords, five-gallon buckets, horses or cows. Not nearly as dangerous as playground equipment, swimming pools, skateboards, or bikes. And not remotely as dangerous as family, friends, guns, or cars.
A child is more likely to die choking on a marble or balloon, and an adult is more likely to die in a bedroom slipper related accident. Your chances of being killed by a dog are roughly one in 18 million. You are five times more likely to be killed by a bolt of lightening."
"It is important to emphasize that dogs bite today for the same reasons that they did one hundred or one thousand years ago. Dogs are no more dangerous today than they were a century or millennium ago. They only difference is a shift in human perception of what is and is not natural canine behavior and/or aggression and the breed of dog involved." -- Karen ...


The toddler of a coworker who was permanently disfigured by a previously pleasant dog is encouraged by your information.
 
2021-09-28 12:57:48 PM  

FirstDennis: "If the dog's not welcome then we're not either."


Ok.
 
2021-09-28 1:14:28 PM  

Unknown Subject: Untrained dogs are annoying at best and dangerous at worst. I wouldn't bring my infant there either.

Also, it's very obvious ITT that a lot of posters here are going to die alone.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-28 1:18:00 PM  
As someone that barely read the headline, did not read the article and does not have kids but does have a dog I think I can provide a solution that will satisfy all parties involved.

After googling the question "will a tortise eat a human baby"  I can safely say it probably won't and therefore would be the appropriate animal to have around this dog as a mentor. The tortise will model the proper not eating human babies behavior and the dog would probably do the same.
 
2021-09-28 1:23:21 PM  
Whole lot of hand-wringing, anecdotal evidence, and complete failure to understand statistics going on here.

People are going to believe what they want to believe, regardless of external evidence to the contrary.

Not like we haven't seen more than our fair share of "But MY personal experience disagrees with massive swaths of statistical data compiled by credible sources, so clearly MY experience is the real truth" over the past couple years.
 
2021-09-28 1:26:31 PM  

olrasputin: Whole lot of hand-wringing, anecdotal evidence, and complete failure to understand statistics going on here.

People are going to believe what they want to believe, regardless of external evidence to the contrary.

Not like we haven't seen more than our fair share of "But MY personal experience disagrees with massive swaths of statistical data compiled by credible sources, so clearly MY experience is the real truth" over the past couple years.


So what is the correct answer to the question?
 
2021-09-28 1:45:04 PM  

Unknown Subject: Untrained dogs are annoying at best and dangerous at worst. I wouldn't bring my infant there either.

Also, it's very obvious ITT that a lot of posters here are going to die alone.


How do you intend to go?  Blaze of glory?
 
2021-09-28 1:53:22 PM  

FirstDennis: We had a family war over family members bringing their dog with them every time they were invited to our house for Thanksgiving Christmas etc.

My wife is very allergic and they knew that. Brought the dog anyway. Last straw was the dog vigorously rubbing its butthole the entiire length of our velvet couch.

When we told them the dog would not be allowed in our house again they acted like we were heartless monsters. "If the dog's not welcome then we're not either."


OK, in the dog's defense that sounds like it would feel absolutely amazing and I would totally rub my butthole on velvet now that you made me wonder what that sensation might feel like.
 
2021-09-28 2:11:11 PM  

mike_d85: FirstDennis: We had a family war over family members bringing their dog with them every time they were invited to our house for Thanksgiving Christmas etc.

My wife is very allergic and they knew that. Brought the dog anyway. Last straw was the dog vigorously rubbing its butthole the entiire length of our velvet couch.

When we told them the dog would not be allowed in our house again they acted like we were heartless monsters. "If the dog's not welcome then we're not either."

OK, in the dog's defense that sounds like it would feel absolutely amazing and I would totally rub my butthole on velvet now that you made me wonder what that sensation might feel like.


You go for it just not on my couch.
 
2021-09-28 2:29:38 PM  

olrasputin: Joe Stapler: olrasputin: Didn't read TFA, as is tradition, but there always seems to be two competing sides to this argument:

1) Some people just aren't dog people, and come up with the dumbest sounding excuses to avoid interaction with perfectly friendly dogs. For instance, with the couple that lives next door to me, the husband is convinced that all pit bulls everywhere are vicious killing machines, and his wife is literally afraid of our dogs.


Keep in mind that every pit bull that has mauled and killed a small child had been, up until that point, the sweetest, gentlest, most even-tempered dog that had ever walked the earth.

/eye roll

PLEASE NOTE -- DOG BITE FATALITIES ARE HIGHLY UNUSUAL. Incidents of dog bite fatalities by ANY breed are very rare. There are approximately 15 to 20 dog bite fatalities in the United States a year, and that's out of the 65 million dogs that Americans keep as pets.
Janis Bradley, dog bite researcher and the author of 'Dogs Bite: But Balloons and Slippers Are More Dangerous,' states, "Dogs can be dangerous. And they are more dangerous to children than adults. Not as dangerous, of course, as kitchen utensils, drapery cords, five-gallon buckets, horses or cows. Not nearly as dangerous as playground equipment, swimming pools, skateboards, or bikes. And not remotely as dangerous as family, friends, guns, or cars.
A child is more likely to die choking on a marble or balloon, and an adult is more likely to die in a bedroom slipper related accident. Your chances of being killed by a dog are roughly one in 18 million. You are five times more likely to be killed by a bolt of lightening."
"It is important to emphasize that dogs bite today for the same reasons that they did one hundred or one thousand years ago. Dogs are no more dangerous today than they were a century or millennium ago. They only difference is a shift in human perception of what is and is not natural canine behavior and/or aggression and the breed of dog involved." -- Karen Delise, author of "Fatal Dog Attacks"

Sure, some dogs just snap. Just like people. We're all imperfect biological machines. But pit bulls are firmly "middle of the road" in terms of bite incidence by breed; they're just able to do a lot of damage if they do bite.

And yeah, I'm sure I'm biased because I own a pit rescue. But primarily, I'm angry at the fact that an entire poorly-defined swath of dog breeds is relegated to far higher euthanasia rates in shelters because of outdated, poorly informed stereotypes.


"Outdated, poorly informed stereotypes"

Tell that to my buddy whose neighbor's pit bull jumped an 8 ft fence, and crushed & worried his 4 year old daughter's head to pieces so badly it was a closed casket.
 
2021-09-28 2:55:38 PM  

olrasputin: Joe Stapler: olrasputin: Didn't read TFA, as is tradition, but there always seems to be two competing sides to this argument:

1) Some people just aren't dog people, and come up with the dumbest sounding excuses to avoid interaction with perfectly friendly dogs. For instance, with the couple that lives next door to me, the husband is convinced that all pit bulls everywhere are vicious killing machines, and his wife is literally afraid of our dogs.


Keep in mind that every pit bull that has mauled and killed a small child had been, up until that point, the sweetest, gentlest, most even-tempered dog that had ever walked the earth.

/eye roll

PLEASE NOTE -- DOG BITE FATALITIES ARE HIGHLY UNUSUAL. Incidents of dog bite fatalities by ANY breed are very rare. There are approximately 15 to 20 dog bite fatalities in the United States a year, and that's out of the 65 million dogs that Americans keep as pets.
Janis Bradley, dog bite researcher and the author of 'Dogs Bite: But Balloons and Slippers Are More Dangerous,' states, "Dogs can be dangerous. And they are more dangerous to children than adults. Not as dangerous, of course, as kitchen utensils, drapery cords, five-gallon buckets, horses or cows. Not nearly as dangerous as playground equipment, swimming pools, skateboards, or bikes. And not remotely as dangerous as family, friends, guns, or cars.
A child is more likely to die choking on a marble or balloon, and an adult is more likely to die in a bedroom slipper related accident. Your chances of being killed by a dog are roughly one in 18 million. You are five times more likely to be killed by a bolt of lightening."
"It is important to emphasize that dogs bite today for the same reasons that they did one hundred or one thousand years ago. Dogs are no more dangerous today than they were a century or millennium ago. They only difference is a shift in human perception of what is and is not natural canine behavior and/or aggression and the breed of dog involved." -- Karen Delise, author of "Fatal Dog Attacks"

Sure, some dogs just snap. Just like people. We're all imperfect biological machines. But pit bulls are firmly "middle of the road" in terms of bite incidence by breed; they're just able to do a lot of damage if they do bite.

And yeah, I'm sure I'm biased because I own a pit rescue. But primarily, I'm angry at the fact that an entire poorly-defined swath of dog breeds is relegated to far higher euthanasia rates in shelters because of outdated, poorly informed stereotypes.


I don't think you're making the point you think you are making. All those things in the quote are things that should not be around a young child without adult supervision. Just like a dog.

But this is not a dog problem, it's a people problem. And if the people won't properly train their dog or won't come visit without the dog, then there's an easy solution.

/also fark chihuahuas, they're more rat than dog
 
2021-09-28 3:24:02 PM  
Is this worth going around the paywall?
 
2021-09-28 3:35:06 PM  
I know some people are biased against particular breeds, but it was a golden retriever who attacked my sister when she was a child.

Personally I'm not a dog person.  I'm not a fan of being around them - especially when they are overexcited and aggressively intrude on my personal space.  I mean, I get that I'm the biggest cat most dogs have ever seen, but that doesn't make it ok for them to charge at me like most dogs seem to.

I'm not obsessively anti-dog, I've had friends with dogs, some of whom were individually ok eventually, but in general I'm not a fan.

I don't invite dogs into my home, and anybody whose presence is contingent on the company of a dog is welcome to be anywhere else in the world.
 
2021-09-28 3:37:22 PM  

mcmnky: I don't think you're making the point you think you are making. All those things in the quote are things that should not be around a young child without adult supervision. Just like a dog.


Yeah, I don't imagine we'd see the same impassioned arguments if the letter writer was talking about not wanting a horse in the living room with her infant child.
 
2021-09-28 4:02:20 PM  
What I've heard about dogs and small children which makes leaving them together unsupervised is dogs see kids as juveniles and dogs discipline juveniles in their pack by grabbing them with their jaws. Juvenile dogs react to that by surrendering, going limp, which ends the discipline. Juvenile kids when grabbed by a dog do not go limp, instead they start doing the opposite, which makes the dog bite harder in a feedback loop leading to very bad things.
 
2021-09-28 4:26:09 PM  

FirstDennis: mike_d85: FirstDennis: We had a family war over family members bringing their dog with them every time they were invited to our house for Thanksgiving Christmas etc.

My wife is very allergic and they knew that. Brought the dog anyway. Last straw was the dog vigorously rubbing its butthole the entiire length of our velvet couch.

When we told them the dog would not be allowed in our house again they acted like we were heartless monsters. "If the dog's not welcome then we're not either."

OK, in the dog's defense that sounds like it would feel absolutely amazing and I would totally rub my butthole on velvet now that you made me wonder what that sensation might feel like.

You go for it just not on my couch.


Once he's done, is it really your couch anymore?
 
2021-09-28 4:51:54 PM  
Don't want your kid around other peoples' pets, that's fine and totally within your rights as a parent.

On the other hand, if you don't want your kid around my pets then you can stay the fark away from my home because I will not segregate or confine my pet just to make a visitor feel more comfortable.

Also, if you want to come visit my home you can stay at a hotel or sleep on the couch - I'm not going to ask my kid to give up her bedroom for a guest.  I f*cking hated having to do that when I was a kid and I will not inflict that on my child.
 
2021-09-28 5:44:38 PM  

snoopy2zero: As someone that barely read the headline, did not read the article and does not have kids but does have a dog I think I can provide a solution that will satisfy all parties involved.

After googling the question "will a tortise eat a human baby"  I can safely say it probably won't and therefore would be the appropriate animal to have around this dog as a mentor. The tortise will model the proper not eating human babies behavior and the dog would probably do the same.


You missed the recent news video where a tortoise hunted and ate a baby bird. The times are changing!
 
2021-09-28 6:55:57 PM  

Lothar IB: snoopy2zero: As someone that barely read the headline, did not read the article and does not have kids but does have a dog I think I can provide a solution that will satisfy all parties involved.

After googling the question "will a tortise eat a human baby"  I can safely say it probably won't and therefore would be the appropriate animal to have around this dog as a mentor. The tortise will model the proper not eating human babies behavior and the dog would probably do the same.

You missed the recent news video where a tortoise hunted and ate a baby bird. The times are changing!


Baby bird not baby human. Although I guess now that they have the taste of baby meat on their turtle brains its only a matter of time before the craving takes over and they start exploring with other baby meats.
 
2021-09-28 8:36:19 PM  

Subtonic: A buddy euthanized his fur baby when his flesh puppy was born. Seemed to work out for all involved. Well, except the fur baby.


Watch out when you get a new sibling, kid!
 
2021-09-28 8:57:20 PM  

Heamer: In other news, 90% of dog owners still baffled that the whole goddamn world doesn't love their dogs.


Also not news, 100% of baby producers still baffled that the whole goddam world does not love their baby.

If you don't want your baby near a dog, don't take the baby to where the dog lives. The dog is entitled to live at its own home, and is not required to make accommodations for your baby. In return the dog doesn't come to your home where your baby lives. Problem now doesn't exist.

What really gets me is that people act as if their presence (and that of their baby) is some gift or reward they bestow upon other people. If I have not specifically asked you over chances are I didn't want you here in the first place.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-28 9:52:43 PM  

Nidiot: Heamer: In other news, 90% of dog owners still baffled that the whole goddamn world doesn't love their dogs.

Also not news, 100% of baby producers still baffled that the whole goddam world does not love their baby.

If you don't want your baby near a dog, don't take the baby to where the dog lives. The dog is entitled to live at its own home, and is not required to make accommodations for your baby. In return the dog doesn't come to your home where your baby lives. Problem now doesn't exist.

What really gets me is that people act as if their presence (and that of their baby) is some gift or reward they bestow upon other people. If I have not specifically asked you over chances are I didn't want you here in the first place.

[Fark user image 576x576]


If you're comfortable alone, good for you. But what's right for might not be right for some.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-29 12:35:55 AM  

FirstDennis: mike_d85: FirstDennis: We had a family war over family members bringing their dog with them every time they were invited to our house for Thanksgiving Christmas etc.

My wife is very allergic and they knew that. Brought the dog anyway. Last straw was the dog vigorously rubbing its butthole the entiire length of our velvet couch.

When we told them the dog would not be allowed in our house again they acted like we were heartless monsters. "If the dog's not welcome then we're not either."

OK, in the dog's defense that sounds like it would feel absolutely amazing and I would totally rub my butthole on velvet now that you made me wonder what that sensation might feel like.

You go for it just not on my couch.


In the dog's defense, it probably just had worms

/sorry
//and before you do, make sure there is no burn van before you set your couch on fire in the back yard
 
2021-09-29 9:07:53 AM  

FirstDennis: mike_d85: FirstDennis: We had a family war over family members bringing their dog with them every time they were invited to our house for Thanksgiving Christmas etc.

My wife is very allergic and they knew that. Brought the dog anyway. Last straw was the dog vigorously rubbing its butthole the entiire length of our velvet couch.

When we told them the dog would not be allowed in our house again they acted like we were heartless monsters. "If the dog's not welcome then we're not either."

OK, in the dog's defense that sounds like it would feel absolutely amazing and I would totally rub my butthole on velvet now that you made me wonder what that sensation might feel like.

You go for it just not on my couch.


I promise nothing.
 
2021-09-29 12:12:54 PM  
As further proved ITT, "dog people" are some of the most defensive people on the planet.
 
Displayed 46 of 46 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.