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(Slate)   "I think I'm falling in love with my daughter's father; we had one night of passion but were always platonic before and even after; do I let him know that I want to be romantically involved with him?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Dog, long time, lb dog, younger parent, best friend of many years, mother of a lovely 2-year-old girl, much attention, lot of boundary testing  
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498 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 28 Sep 2021 at 5:17 AM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2021-09-28 8:20:52 AM  
13 votes:
I married my baby-mama after a couple of years of co-parenting. Having to work together for the good of the child helped us learn to act like adults with one another, and learn how to love each other as well.
 
2021-09-27 11:29:30 PM  
11 votes:
Go for it if you think he's worth it.

Too many marriages have less to go on.
 
2021-09-28 6:15:20 AM  
11 votes:
Dumbest thing I've read all day, but then it's still early.

FTFA (first letter-writer): I've known I had feelings for [daughter's father] for a long time but had accepted that I needed to put those feelings aside for my daughter.

WTAF?
 
2021-09-28 6:44:24 AM  
10 votes:

Gunboat: Dumbest thing I've read all day, but then it's still early.

FTFA (first letter-writer): I've known I had feelings for [daughter's father] for a long time but had accepted that I needed to put those feelings aside for my daughter.

WTAF?


Because there is a decent working relationship noelw. If they turn it into a romantic one, the child's life will be upended if the relationship goes south.

It is, after all, quite something different to have a few contact moments in a week, with very few full day events in a year, with a full life of your own outside of those, and living together.
 
2021-09-28 8:08:28 AM  
10 votes:

Gramma: Gunboat: Dumbest thing I've read all day, but then it's still early.

FTFA (first letter-writer): I've known I had feelings for [daughter's father] for a long time but had accepted that I needed to put those feelings aside for my daughter.

WTAF?

Sometimes when I read stuff like that I feel like I've entered some alternate universe.   But then, I'm out-of-touch.  I still feel like the best option is for a kid to have two parents that are married to each other.


Married is a matter of semantics. But I know quite a few children from broken homes who would give anything to have their parents actually love each other.
 
2021-09-28 7:34:34 AM  
8 votes:
Sidle up to him and press your boobs against him.  He'll get the idea.
 
2021-09-28 8:55:55 AM  
7 votes:

Fear the Clam: Our relationship was never sexual with the exception of one night. Afterward we both decided that we did not want a relationship with each other and that we're better off friends. A few months later I found out I was pregnant. We both agreed that we would co-parent the child platonically and we have for the past two years.

I would love to know the high-level thinking that went behind this set of decisions.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-27 11:47:39 PM  
6 votes:
Butt stuff
 
2021-09-28 8:37:06 AM  
5 votes:
Our relationship was never sexual with the exception of one night. Afterward we both decided that we did not want a relationship with each other and that we're better off friends. A few months later I found out I was pregnant. We both agreed that we would co-parent the child platonically and we have for the past two years.

I would love to know the high-level thinking that went behind this set of decisions.
 
2021-09-28 9:19:57 AM  
4 votes:

turboke: Gramma: Gunboat: Dumbest thing I've read all day, but then it's still early.

FTFA (first letter-writer): I've known I had feelings for [daughter's father] for a long time but had accepted that I needed to put those feelings aside for my daughter.

WTAF?

Sometimes when I read stuff like that I feel like I've entered some alternate universe.   But then, I'm out-of-touch.  I still feel like the best option is for a kid to have two parents that are married to each other.

Married is a matter of semantics. But I know quite a few children from broken homes who would give anything to have their parents actually love each other.


Yep. The important thing is the parents have a healthy relationship, including none at all. There's plenty of kids from loving single parent homes who turn out great. Anything's better than two parents who hate each other sticking out the marriage for "the sake of the children". That kind of negativity is toxic to a child.
 
2021-09-28 10:29:44 AM  
4 votes:

inglixthemad: Feel free, but remember that it might flame out horribly in a short time.

Also, don't take it out on him if you try to initiate something and he shoots down the idea. I have several very good female friends and we're "close", and some were intimate friends in the past, but we don't consider a relationship of any kind beyond friendship today.

Even if we "cuddle" while watching a movie. Even if I get an awesome backrub from a couple. Even if a few walk around naked in front of me while getting dressed.


Go on.....
 
2021-09-27 11:36:03 PM  
3 votes:
It is fairly rare for two people to co-parent without a little animosity between them. Sounds like a match made in heaven, go for it!
I'm on hold with the Hallmark channel right now...
 
2021-09-28 7:42:24 AM  
3 votes:

Gunboat: Dumbest thing I've read all day, but then it's still early.

FTFA (first letter-writer): I've known I had feelings for [daughter's father] for a long time but had accepted that I needed to put those feelings aside for my daughter.

WTAF?


Sometimes when I read stuff like that I feel like I've entered some alternate universe.   But then, I'm out-of-touch.  I still feel like the best option is for a kid to have two parents that are married to each other.
 
2021-09-28 9:32:29 AM  
3 votes:

turboke: Gramma: Gunboat: Dumbest thing I've read all day, but then it's still early.

FTFA (first letter-writer): I've known I had feelings for [daughter's father] for a long time but had accepted that I needed to put those feelings aside for my daughter.

WTAF?

Sometimes when I read stuff like that I feel like I've entered some alternate universe.   But then, I'm out-of-touch.  I still feel like the best option is for a kid to have two parents that are married to each other.

Married is a matter of semantics. But I know quite a few children from broken homes who would give anything to have their parents actually love each other.


Two loving parents is probably best.
Two parents who fight non-stop and hate one another is probably the worst.

Two parents who had no romantic relationship at the time if the baby choosing to not force a relationship and wind up the hate-filled parents isn't incredibly hard to figure out.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2021-09-27 11:08:19 PM  
2 votes:
We'd say sleep with her dad, but you beat us to it. (Shakes fist.)
 
2021-09-28 5:19:50 AM  
2 votes:
My uncle is sick, but the highway is green.
 
2021-09-28 5:29:29 AM  
2 votes:
You might as well go with him because you aren't going to do any better.
 
2021-09-28 5:57:30 AM  
2 votes:
No. Just bang him regularly with no strings attached.
 
2021-09-28 8:25:02 AM  
2 votes:

jbc: We'd say sleep with her dad, but you beat us to it. (Shakes fist.)


Hypothesis: Someone at Slate is a Farker, and knows our answer to everything is "fark their dad", and thought it would funny to pick today's fake letter to be one which that answer actually applies.

This hypothesis will be proven true if we ever see a fake letter along the lines of:
"I'm really into butt stuff and want to try it with my boyfriend, who has releatedly expressed an interest in doing butt stuff with me. What ever shall we do?"

/Fark his dad
 
2021-09-28 8:37:05 AM  
2 votes:
Brief a mutual friend and get them to sound him out. You can then make a more informed decision.

/Also butt stuff. You were obviously not that exciting the last time
 
2021-09-28 1:01:28 AM  
1 vote:
Yes.
 
2021-09-28 9:14:27 AM  
1 vote:

Fear the Clam: Our relationship was never sexual with the exception of one night. Afterward we both decided that we did not want a relationship with each other and that we're better off friends. A few months later I found out I was pregnant. We both agreed that we would co-parent the child platonically and we have for the past two years.

I would love to know the high-level thinking that went behind this set of decisions.


That is a woman's side after a guy rejects her and she still wants him.
 
2021-09-28 10:16:29 AM  
1 vote:
Feel free, but remember that it might flame out horribly in a short time.

Also, don't take it out on him if you try to initiate something and he shoots down the idea. I have several very good female friends and we're "close", and some were intimate friends in the past, but we don't consider a relationship of any kind beyond friendship today.

Even if we "cuddle" while watching a movie. Even if I get an awesome backrub from a couple. Even if a few walk around naked in front of me while getting dressed.
 
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