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(Juneau Empire)   City built at the base of a mountain commissions avalanche study, finds 374 buildings at risk. Since this is America, they will now vote on whether to believe the science or avoid harming property values   (juneauempire.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Avalanche, Federal Emergency Management Agency, Public safety, Risk, Emergency management, new maps, Property, Map  
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1731 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Sep 2021 at 2:20 PM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



29 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-09-22 1:26:56 PM  
Many property owners in the affected areas have expressed concern about adopting the maps and that a new hazard designation could affect property values, resale options and insurance costs.

So let's just pretend it isn't true that their property isn't in a danger zone.

"If a big landslide occurs and there's a loss of life, we will all feel terrible," he said. "Even if we couldn't have predicted it or done anything about it, some sharp-eyed lawyer is going to find a way to spend a lot of our money to fight it."

Duh.

That said, there aren't many places in populated Alaska that aren't potentially dangerous.  Earthquakes, tsunamis, etc.   Oh yeah, and forest fires.
 
2021-09-22 2:01:54 PM  
All they need to do is build a big ramp on the mountain side of the city. Boulders that come rolling down in an avalanche will gain speed as they approach, then be vaulted over the city by the ramp to crash harmlessly on the far side. You can then re-zone the entire crash zone as a High Hazard area, which will of course have the result of bringing land values down to a fraction of their current worth. Then you can use that as the place to build all the structures that need the absolute least expensive land possible. You know, schools and low-income housing or homeless shelters, stuff like that.
 
2021-09-22 2:11:53 PM  
No worries, once Facebook sinks its teeth into them we'll have such gems as:

* Mountains are a gubmint conspiracy to take our homes!

* Obama destabilized the land with the Jewish space laser!

* Rockslide was a false flag and the deaths were crisis actors.
 
2021-09-22 2:22:39 PM  
Difficulty: Alaska


They will be lucky to come out of this with belief in gravity still intact.
 
2021-09-22 2:27:47 PM  
Insurance companies will make the safe decision.
 
2021-09-22 2:28:45 PM  

Pocket Ninja: All they need to do is build a big ramp on the mountain side of the city. Boulders that come rolling down in an avalanche will gain speed as they approach, then be vaulted over the city by the ramp to crash harmlessly on the far side. You can then re-zone the entire crash zone as a High Hazard area, which will of course have the result of bringing land values down to a fraction of their current worth. Then you can use that as the place to build all the structures that need the absolute least expensive land possible. You know, schools and low-income housing or homeless shelters, stuff like that.


I knew someone who bought a lot that had recently had a rockslide (in Alaska!) because it was super cheap. He planned on building a partly underground cement house with a ramped roof, apparently they're common in Switzerland. He got as far as flattening out a spot for the foundation, then came back the next day to find a fresh pile of big rocks on top. Never did hear if he finished it or gave up on it.
 
2021-09-22 2:29:20 PM  
I think I saw a variation of this movie.  Where's Pierce Brosnan and Linda Hamilton when you need them?
 
2021-09-22 2:30:46 PM  
Put all the houses on skis facing the mountain.
When an avalanche comes they'll simply ride it and level-up, so to speak.
 
2021-09-22 2:31:22 PM  
This is why you shouldn't build cities on rock and roll.
 
2021-09-22 2:31:22 PM  

R.O.U.S: I knew someone who bought a lot that had recently had a rockslide (in Alaska!) because it was super cheap. He planned on building a partly underground cement house with a ramped roof, apparently they're common in Switzerland.


Now I'm picturing that's how the Swiss avoided most of Europe's major wars; everyone knew they'd start launching avalanche boulders off their roofs at anyone who invaded.
 
2021-09-22 2:39:50 PM  
Oh neat, my neighborhood is newly at risk.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-22 2:40:26 PM  

MechaPyx: This is why you shouldn't build cities on rock and roll.


more-music-videos.icuView Full Size

Looks solid to me.
 
2021-09-22 2:40:45 PM  
As long as they believe they'll stay standing, they'll stay standing.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-22 2:40:59 PM  

Flarn: Difficulty: Alaska


They will be lucky to come out of this with belief in gravity still intact.



What manner of evil magic dost thou speaketh of?! Art thou a witch?
 
2021-09-22 2:55:36 PM  
The Feds have been providing flood insurance for people living in 100 year flood plains biennially , so why not do the same for people living in avalancheland, hurricane side street, and tornado alley?
 
2021-09-22 2:56:05 PM  
Huh. I always wondered how that first boulder got there. You know, before we built the farmhouse.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-22 3:03:48 PM  
I don't know how it works on Alaska, but in California, you can find out if the house you want to buy is in a flood or slide zone. Seems like now that they know they are in the avalanche zone, they'd have to disclose that to potential buyers

Dewey Fidalgo: Many property owners in the affected areas have expressed concern about adopting the maps and that a new hazard designation could affect property values, resale options and insurance costs.

So let's just pretend it isn't true that their property isn't in a danger zone.

"If a big landslide occurs and there's a loss of life, we will all feel terrible," he said. "Even if we couldn't have predicted it or done anything about it, some sharp-eyed lawyer is going to find a way to spend a lot of our money to fight it."

Duh.

That said, there aren't many places in populated Alaska that aren't potentially dangerous.  Earthquakes, tsunamis, etc.   Oh yeah, and forest fires.

 
2021-09-22 3:04:45 PM  

R.O.U.S: Pocket Ninja: All they need to do is build a big ramp on the mountain side of the city. Boulders that come rolling down in an avalanche will gain speed as they approach, then be vaulted over the city by the ramp to crash harmlessly on the far side. You can then re-zone the entire crash zone as a High Hazard area, which will of course have the result of bringing land values down to a fraction of their current worth. Then you can use that as the place to build all the structures that need the absolute least expensive land possible. You know, schools and low-income housing or homeless shelters, stuff like that.

I knew someone who bought a lot that had recently had a rockslide (in Alaska!) because it was super cheap. He planned on building a partly underground cement house with a ramped roof, apparently they're common in Switzerland. He got as far as flattening out a spot for the foundation, then came back the next day to find a fresh pile of big rocks on top. Never did hear if he finished it or gave up on it.


Sisyphus approves
 
2021-09-22 3:07:48 PM  
Instead of reducing peoples' personal property values, the government should step in and use taxpayer money to relocate the mountain to a safer location.
 
2021-09-22 3:08:59 PM  

Flarn: Difficulty: Alaska


They will be lucky to come out of this with belief in gravity still intact.


Gravity is a myth. We should be educating our kids on the wonders of Intelligent Pushing.
 
2021-09-22 3:09:23 PM  

Dewey Fidalgo: Many property owners in the affected areas have expressed concern about adopting the maps and that a new hazard designation could affect property values, resale options and insurance costs.

So let's just pretend it isn't true that their property isn't in a danger zone.

"If a big landslide occurs and there's a loss of life, we will all feel terrible," he said. "Even if we couldn't have predicted it or done anything about it, some sharp-eyed lawyer is going to find a way to spend a lot of our money to fight it."

Duh.

That said, there aren't many places in populated Alaska that aren't potentially dangerous.  Earthquakes, tsunamis, etc.   Oh yeah, and forest fires.


And Alaskans.
 
2021-09-22 3:38:41 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Probably my favorite new episode.

/"Love, Avalanche"
 
2021-09-22 3:41:13 PM  

RoboZombie: I don't know how it works on Alaska, but in California, you can find out if the house you want to buy is in a flood or slide zone. Seems like now that they know they are in the avalanche zone, they'd have to disclose that to potential buyers


Like people actually read the SPDS form.  Every time I've gone to title to sign the docs for my new house, the people working there tend to comment on how rare it is for people to read the docs, either the day before or while there, before signing them.
 
2021-09-22 4:17:13 PM  

Troy Aikman's Giant Thumbs: Gravity is a myth theory. We should be educating our kids on the wonders of Intelligent Pushing.

 
2021-09-22 4:25:43 PM  

mod3072: Instead of reducing peoples' personal property values, the government should step in and use taxpayer money to relocate the mountain to a safer location.


Cheaper to just move the avalanche zone signs, ya know? Tis a silly thing to put an avalanche zone next to a town anyways.
 
2021-09-22 4:29:02 PM  

Trocadero: R.O.U.S: I knew someone who bought a lot that had recently had a rockslide (in Alaska!) because it was super cheap. He planned on building a partly underground cement house with a ramped roof, apparently they're common in Switzerland.

Now I'm picturing that's how the Swiss avoided most of Europe's major wars; everyone knew they'd start launching avalanche boulders off their roofs at anyone who invaded.


They don't do it to be safe from landslides they do it as they are building on what used to be pastoral land and they aren't allowed to put up an eyesore of a mcmansion. The solution to to partially bury their mansions to not ruin the views.
 
2021-09-22 6:53:22 PM  
Getting in on the ground floor of the 'thoughts and prayers' juggernaut.
 
2021-09-22 10:11:09 PM  
"Oh, but the snow will be a blinding sight to see, as it flies down yonder mountain." - Donovan
 
2021-09-22 10:48:42 PM  
The Rock is going to fall on us....
 
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