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(Fox 31 Denver)   Toddler gets head stuck in balcony railing, police use battering ram to free her - but not like you think   (kdvr.com) divider line
    More: Spiffy, The Police, Sting, Officer Jordan Kyle, unusual call, good idea, little girl, Michael Marquez, Boulder police  
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3317 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Sep 2021 at 9:35 AM (11 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-09-22 8:52:42 AM  
Well damn.  I was thinking that they used it to cartoonishly batter her trough the bars.
 
2021-09-22 9:02:18 AM  

UberDave: Well damn.  I was thinking that they used it to cartoonishly batter her trough the bars.


The Tackleberry method.

images.hobbydatabase.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-22 9:39:50 AM  

UberDave: Well damn.  I was thinking that they used it to cartoonishly batter her trough the bars.


Why do you think every police car comes equipped with an oversized wooden mallet? For exactly this type of situation. They swing it like a golf club at the top of the kid's noggin, and, pop! The kid comes right out.
 
2021-09-22 9:42:04 AM  

thatguyoverthere70: UberDave: Well damn.  I was thinking that they used it to cartoonishly batter her trough the bars.

Why do you think every police car comes equipped with an oversized wooden mallet? For exactly this type of situation. They swing it like a golf club at the top of the kid's noggin, and, pop! The kid comes right out.


Correct.  It also diminishes the time spent on those emergency calls where the woman in labor doesn't make it to the hospital.
 
2021-09-22 9:45:04 AM  

UberDave: Well damn.  I was thinking that they used it to cartoonishly batter her trough the bars.


I mean, you could if you got her to rotate sideways, straighten her legs out, and then give the bottom of her feet a solid whack.  It would be like a game of croquet.
 
2021-09-22 9:46:09 AM  
CSB: When my daughter was about 2.5-3, she got her head stuck in a staircase rail. It looked like I was going to have to cut through it when it wouldn't open wide enough when trying to bend it. After a couple of minutes or so, she just tilted her shoulders perpendicular to the floor and stepped through to other side of the rail.

Pretty sad when your kid figures out how to get herself out of a situation that her parents couldn't.
 
2021-09-22 9:46:10 AM  
Once she saw the battering ram, her head just popped right out!
Fark user imageView Full Size

/It had to be terror sweat!
//Hee-hee.
 
2021-09-22 9:46:35 AM  
four inch sphere! Must be an older building.
 
2021-09-22 9:48:47 AM  
My youngest son did that. He stuck his head between the railing of our next-door neighbor's stairs. They used the "jaws of life" tool to release him. Occasionally, I tease him about it. Of course, I'll have to send the article to him!
 
2021-09-22 9:54:04 AM  

Picklehead: My youngest son did that. He stuck his head between the railing of our next-door neighbor's stairs. They used the "jaws of life" tool to release him. Occasionally, I tease him about it. Of course, I'll have to send the article to him!


Surprising because pickles are slippery.
 
2021-09-22 9:55:13 AM  

danvon: CSB: When my daughter was about 2.5-3, she got her head stuck in a staircase rail. It looked like I was going to have to cut through it when it wouldn't open wide enough when trying to bend it. After a couple of minutes or so, she just tilted her shoulders perpendicular to the floor and stepped through to other side of the rail.

Pretty sad when your kid figures out how to get herself out of a situation that her parents couldn't.


There's a video of something similar. It was pretty much how that kid had gotten in.
 
2021-09-22 9:56:21 AM  
So another improper use of police equipment...

That's not what the taxpayers had in mind when they paid for that.

Let the inquiry begin!!
 
2021-09-22 9:59:12 AM  
What ever happened to the old stick of butter method?
 
2021-09-22 10:02:02 AM  

ReapTheChaos: What ever happened to the old stick of butter method?


Most police don't keep sticks of butter in their car.

Maybe they do if they work in Paula Dean's neighborhood?
 
2021-09-22 10:03:14 AM  
I did the exact same think when I was a kid (~5) with the railing on our carport.  They got me out the same way except neighbors used a log instead of cops using a battering ram.

/Now one of the neighbors is my FIL
 
2021-09-22 10:04:58 AM  
Nobody had a scissor jack in their car?
 
2021-09-22 10:07:58 AM  

ReapTheChaos: What ever happened to the old stick of butter method?


You didn't notice the bottle of cooking oil on the concrete two feet away?
 
2021-09-22 10:08:28 AM  
My kid got her knee stuck between the rails on her crib one night while trying to climb out.  By the time she started crying, her leg was swollen too much to pull it back through.  I ended up sawing through the rail with a handsaw.

Then I sawed the legs off the crib, removed the side rail completely and called it a toddler bed.
 
2021-09-22 10:08:43 AM  

ReapTheChaos: What ever happened to the old stick of butter method?


You can't hit a kid in the head with a stick of butter. That would be abuse.
 
2021-09-22 10:09:00 AM  

Merltech: UberDave: Well damn.  I was thinking that they used it to cartoonishly batter her trough the bars.

The Tackleberry method.

[images.hobbydatabase.com image 360x203]


Came here for the Tackleberry, left oddly satisfied.

/if only he could take care of the anti-vaxxers this way
 
2021-09-22 10:09:25 AM  
Why were the police called?  I did this as a kid, my mother called the fire department.

Of course, being the pain in the ass that I am, I figured out out to remove my head once I calmed down, mostly so I could watch for the fire truck.
 
2021-09-22 10:12:42 AM  
That's a really articulate 3-year-old.
 
2021-09-22 10:14:00 AM  
I'd bet there were a few blowjobs handed out after that.
 
2021-09-22 10:17:07 AM  
When I was a kid I got my finger stuck in a de-activated hand grenade.
 
2021-09-22 10:18:05 AM  

RolfBlitzer: Picklehead: My youngest son did that. He stuck his head between the railing of our next-door neighbor's stairs. They used the "jaws of life" tool to release him. Occasionally, I tease him about it. Of course, I'll have to send the article to him!

Surprising because pickles are slippery.


SON OF PICKLEHEAD:the movie!
 
2021-09-22 10:18:32 AM  
 
2021-09-22 10:18:51 AM  
Was it sodomy?

reads TFA

Uh, never mind, forget I said anything.
 
2021-09-22 10:19:55 AM  
When I was 5 I got my elbow suck in a radiator. It was one of those old hot water radiators to hear your home. The firemen came to get my elbow out. They laughed, my mom laughed, I was excited. Good times from what I hear.
 
2021-09-22 10:22:08 AM  
Her head was between bars 2 and 3. Get two towels. tie the first in a loop between bars 1 and 2, second between bars 3 and 4.  Spread 2-3 by tightening the towel loops. Just need something to twist the loop around multiple times. No need to call cops or FD.
 
2021-09-22 10:29:09 AM  

wademh: Her head was between bars 2 and 3. Get two towels. tie the first in a loop between bars 1 and 2, second between bars 3 and 4.  Spread 2-3 by tightening the towel loops. Just need something to twist the loop around multiple times. No need to call cops or FD.


Gosh. If only you had been there to save the day.
 
2021-09-22 10:30:00 AM  

wademh: Her head was between bars 2 and 3. Get two towels. tie the first in a loop between bars 1 and 2, second between bars 3 and 4.  Spread 2-3 by tightening the towel loops. Just need something to twist the loop around multiple times. No need to call cops or FD.


Did you just watch Shanghai Noon?
 
2021-09-22 10:35:26 AM  
Use the ram to lever the railing apart and free her through material deflection?
/RTFA
//Second sentence, and Slashie!
///Third Slashie because why not, you deserve it!
 
2021-09-22 10:35:57 AM  
I like that these officers didn't use the jaws of life as one commenter experienced, because they left the frickin railing almost looking untouched by only bending as much as they had to.

Ingenious and resourceful.  Kid is sweet too, took it in stride.
 
2021-09-22 10:36:02 AM  
I did that in Italy when I was a kid, stuck my head through a marble railing.  After my mom had thoroughly olive oiled me, my dad arrived on the scene, lifted me up and pulled.  My ears were a little sore, but it did the trick.
 
2021-09-22 10:36:53 AM  

thatguyoverthere70: ReapTheChaos: What ever happened to the old stick of butter method?

You can't hit a kid in the head with a stick of butter. That would be abuse.


Oleo can be used and is acceptable. Except in the state of Wisconsin
 
2021-09-22 10:40:16 AM  
This happened in the deli/cafe I worked at in college. This place was built with an "olde timey barn" aesthetic (the owner was really proud of his "reclaimed barn wood" decoration) and most of the slats on the railings were purely decorative. A kid got his head stuck between them and was justifiably freaking out, and so were his parents. They were going to call 911 but I came to the rescue and just yanked the slats out with my hands (carefully, of course).

In hindsight I should have let them call 911 so the asshole owner would get in trouble for building code violations.
 
2021-09-22 10:41:11 AM  

thatguyoverthere70: ReapTheChaos: What ever happened to the old stick of butter method?

You can't hit a kid in the head with a stick of butter. That would be abuse.


The Daily Mail had an article about toddlers covered with butter and Farkers don't believe it exists, or they won't admit it is one of their fetishes.

It also looked too much like something the Ancient Greeks used to bet on.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-22 10:42:07 AM  
I got my head stuck in the bars of my crib when I was a baby, it was all metal. It was the 70s, safety what?

My dad used to love to remind me all about it, since apparently I also got stuck my by ears during birth. Thanks dad, they're your ears, ya bastard.
 
2021-09-22 10:46:24 AM  
Well I was expecting something that shot pancake batter at high speed...
 
2021-09-22 10:56:30 AM  

dothemath: When I was a kid I got my finger stuck in a de-activated hand grenade.


Walking into the Emergency Department with your finger stuck in a grenade?  That sounds like a Mr. Bean episode.
 
2021-09-22 11:00:10 AM  
No mention yet of the farker and the chair slates?
 
2021-09-22 11:00:31 AM  

Raoul Eaton: dothemath: When I was a kid I got my finger stuck in a de-activated hand grenade.

Walking into the Emergency Department with your finger stuck in a grenade?  That sounds like a Mr. Bean episode.


Luckily it was one of those army surplus ones with a hole drilled in the bottom.
I begged my mom to get me one, then ten minutes later. Bam.
 
2021-09-22 11:27:26 AM  

RogueWallEnthusiast: RolfBlitzer: Picklehead: My youngest son did that. He stuck his head between the railing of our next-door neighbor's stairs. They used the "jaws of life" tool to release him. Occasionally, I tease him about it. Of course, I'll have to send the article to him!

Surprising because pickles are slippery.

SON OF PICKLEHEAD:the movie!


media.makeameme.orgView Full Size
 
2021-09-22 11:27:54 AM  

ReapTheChaos: What ever happened to the old stick of butter method?


That is called the buttering ram
 
2021-09-22 11:53:49 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-22 11:55:53 AM  
I just noticed the call letters: KDVR. Cadaver?
 
2021-09-22 11:58:18 AM  
What kind of cops show up at a scene and fail to shoot anyone?   This cannot be allowed to stand!
 
2021-09-22 12:00:45 PM  

wademh: Her head was between bars 2 and 3. Get two towels. tie the first in a loop between bars 1 and 2, second between bars 3 and 4.  Spread 2-3 by tightening the towel loops. Just need something to twist the loop around multiple times. No need to call cops or FD.


If that doesn't work, a portable scissor jack from your car would probably do the trick.


Gramma: My kid got her knee stuck between the rails on her crib one night while trying to climb out.  By the time she started crying, her leg was swollen too much to pull it back through.  I ended up sawing through the rail with a handsaw.


My kid went thru a phase where she loved sticking her feet between the rails on her crib, which of course resulted in her getting stuck a couple of times.  I was always able to get her unstuck without harming her or the crib, but after the third time, I installed a mesh crib liner to keep her better contained.
 
2021-09-22 12:02:11 PM  

RogueWallEnthusiast: wademh: Her head was between bars 2 and 3. Get two towels. tie the first in a loop between bars 1 and 2, second between bars 3 and 4.  Spread 2-3 by tightening the towel loops. Just need something to twist the loop around multiple times. No need to call cops or FD.

Did you just watch Shanghai Noon?


You said "wet cloth don't break" not "piss shirt bend bars."
 
2021-09-22 12:04:56 PM  

danvon: CSB: When my daughter was about 2.5-3, she got her head stuck in a staircase rail. It looked like I was going to have to cut through it when it wouldn't open wide enough when trying to bend it. After a couple of minutes or so, she just tilted her shoulders perpendicular to the floor and stepped through to other side of the rail.

Pretty sad when your kid figures out how to get herself out of a situation that her parents couldn't.


It's like a cat's whiskers.
 
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