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(Vice)   Old and busted: Vodak tampons. New hotness: Nicotine Pouches   (vice.com) divider line
    More: Stupid, Scandinavia, Denmark, Tobacco, left health experts, Sweden, nicotine pouches, Foreskin, Circumcision  
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2097 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Sep 2021 at 9:39 PM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



44 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-09-21 5:27:14 PM  
Young Danes are sticking nicotine pouches up their asses and inside their foreskins in a trend that's left health experts concerned and baffled
Considering how irritating they are in the mouth, I wouldn't do that even once.
 
2021-09-21 5:38:04 PM  
I... YESUS fark, NO!
 
2021-09-21 5:49:08 PM  
Vodak tampons?

Fark user imageView Full Size


/aisle seat
 
2021-09-21 9:13:17 PM  
...what happens when you need to spit?
 
2021-09-21 9:17:12 PM  

gopher321: Vodak tampons?

[Fark user image image 225x225]

/aisle seat


I'll tell you, if you like any kind of flavored teas, Deep Eddy works amazing for adding a strong kick to your drink. They're the only ones I know that keep the sour of the fruit in the liquor. All others I've tried are too goddamn sweet, which makes the tea undrinkable. A Deep Eddy Lemon and sweet tea mix makes a fantastic Arnold Palmer that'll kick your ass after a couple rounds, just like Arnold.
 
2021-09-21 9:46:31 PM  

scottydoesntknow: ...what happens when you need to spit?


Smoke comes out your ass.


/ kids used to use Copenhagen and Skoal in Junior High and High School in the '70s (no pouches) and you'd see their disgusting spit cups all around.  The rules only mentioned smoking tobacco, so they were pretty free to do it.  The smart ones used a little discretion.
 
2021-09-21 9:47:10 PM  
The Anti-Vaxxer's hemorrhoid treatment.
 
2021-09-21 9:48:28 PM  
So do you have to carry around an empty beer can to have your junk spit into?
 
2021-09-21 9:50:42 PM  
FTA: "Young Danes are sticking nicotine pouches up their asses and inside their foreskins in a trend that's left health experts concerned and baffled..."

Wait, the experts were concerned and, then,they were baffled?  Speaking for myself, I think that being baffled would come first.  Personally, I couldn't care less what you do with your nicotine pouches.  That's no concern of mine.  But, I will still stand there in befuddlement while I watch you do it.

/And, yes, I WILL watch you do it.
 
2021-09-21 9:52:48 PM  
But when Dad catches you, he makes you stick every one of those pouches up there.
 
2021-09-21 9:58:15 PM  
Where in the fark is Ice-T when you need him?

"They're sticking wet nicotine pouches in their foreskins. Kids are calling it 'brun jul'"
 
2021-09-21 10:00:23 PM  
Don't drink what's in the spittoons
 
2021-09-21 10:01:05 PM  

scottydoesntknow: ...what happens when you need to spit?


The Scandinavian snus doesn't make you spit. Comes in little teabag-like pouches, but rectangular, and usually contains a bit of baking soda (I guess the PH adjustment makes the nicotine absorb better).

I'm not normally a tobacco user at all, but was watching some Scandinavian murder mystery shows on Netflix and saw some of the Swedish characters using it, and was curious. Turns out one place did carry it where I am, so I tried some.

Blech, tasted like salty tobacco.  But, as I said, I'm not a regular user.

Apparently it's also not fermented/preserved the same way as North American tobacco, so it contains somewhat less nitrosamines - in theory slightly better for you than other forms of smokeless tobacco, but users still get more mouth and digestive system cancers than those who do not use any tobacco.

/sorry to ruin your joke attempt :)
 
2021-09-21 10:03:39 PM  

FormlessOne: Where in the fark is Ice-T when you need him?

"They're sticking wet nicotine pouches in their foreskins. Kids are calling it 'brun jul'"


Well the show is by Dick Wolf
 
2021-09-21 10:04:42 PM  

Billy Liar: But when Dad catches you, he makes you stick every one of those pouches up there.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-21 10:08:44 PM  

Mabman: scottydoesntknow: ...what happens when you need to spit?

The Scandinavian snus doesn't make you spit. Comes in little teabag-like pouches, but rectangular, and usually contains a bit of baking soda (I guess the PH adjustment makes the nicotine absorb better).

I'm not normally a tobacco user at all, but was watching some Scandinavian murder mystery shows on Netflix and saw some of the Swedish characters using it, and was curious. Turns out one place did carry it where I am, so I tried some.

Blech, tasted like salty tobacco.  But, as I said, I'm not a regular user.

Apparently it's also not fermented/preserved the same way as North American tobacco, so it contains somewhat less nitrosamines - in theory slightly better for you than other forms of smokeless tobacco, but users still get more mouth and digestive system cancers than those who do not use any tobacco.

/sorry to ruin your joke attempt :)


LOL, believe me, I get it. Grew up in Texas with a high-country high school. I got hooked on dip. I'm still workin to quit, but my use has become minimal overall.

I would honestly be interested in this type though. Have not heard of it or tried searching.

/Hate this shiat
//But the convenience and how it does mellow is so goddamn hard to beat
///Got some Velo pouches which work well, but still lack compared to real shiat
////BLECH!
 
2021-09-21 10:11:04 PM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-21 10:11:38 PM  
im not concerned or baffled by anything "teens do on the internet" anymore.  the low bar for stupid shiat young people do on the internet has been lowered so far it is the gravitational center of the planet.

if someone walked up to me tomorrow and said "experts are concerned young teens on the internet are setting themselves on fire" i wouldnt be concerned.  i wouldnt even assume its a new thing.
 
2021-09-21 10:14:09 PM  

oopsboom: im not concerned or baffled by anything "teens do on the internet" anymore.  the low bar for stupid shiat young people do on the internet has been lowered so far it is the gravitational center of the planet.

if someone walked up to me tomorrow and said "experts are concerned young teens on the internet are setting themselves on fire" i wouldnt be concerned.  i wouldnt even assume its a new thing.


after i typed that the little voice in my head wouldnt let it go.  10 seconds on google says i was right
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/wo​r​ld/americas/tiktok-fire-challenge-port​land-icu-b1856805.html
 
2021-09-21 10:14:39 PM  

Butternut Squanch: [i.imgflip.com image 850x474]


About friggin' time.
 
2021-09-21 10:16:07 PM  
Can't they just drink beer and smoke like normal teenagers?
 
2021-09-21 10:17:51 PM  

oopsboom: oopsboom: im not concerned or baffled by anything "teens do on the internet" anymore.  the low bar for stupid shiat young people do on the internet has been lowered so far it is the gravitational center of the planet.

if someone walked up to me tomorrow and said "experts are concerned young teens on the internet are setting themselves on fire" i wouldnt be concerned.  i wouldnt even assume its a new thing.

after i typed that the little voice in my head wouldnt let it go.  10 seconds on google says i was right
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/wor​ld/americas/tiktok-fire-challenge-port​land-icu-b1856805.html


i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-21 10:18:19 PM  

UncleDirtNap: So do you have to carry around an empty beer can to have your junk spit into?


It's fun to watch when they confuse their spit can for the can they're drinking from.
 
2021-09-21 10:22:09 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-21 10:30:33 PM  
I just meant that you had low-quality dip, sorry if you thought "ass skoal" was a suggestion of what to do with it.
 
2021-09-21 10:36:49 PM  
Show some cultural sensitivity. They call it "pickling the fjord."
 
2021-09-21 10:37:26 PM  

Billy Liar: But when Dad catches you, he makes you stick every one of those pouches up there.


Go on...
 
2021-09-21 10:40:09 PM  
Rectal cancer and penile cancer - two in particular I would think people would try their best to avoid.
 
2021-09-21 10:40:42 PM  
Tomorrow's headline: "Emergency Circumcisions on the Rise in Scandinavian Countries"
 
2021-09-21 10:50:39 PM  
This old cowboy was out in the desert. He was lost for a week. He finally found a town and crawled into the saloon and pulled himself up on a stool.
He croaked "I'm so thirsty I would do anything for a beer, but I don't have a penny on me." A guy overheard this and said "See that spittoon over in the corner?
A hundred guys have spit their chaw into that thing. If you'll take one sip, I'll buy you all the beer you want." The old cowboy thought about it and said "OK. I'll do it." So he picked up the spittoon and started drinkin.
The guy who was buying the beer said "OK you can stop now." But the old cowboy kept drinkin. He said again "You can quit now."
Finally the old cowboy got done. He had drunk the whole thing. The guy said "Why didn't you quit? You only had to take a sip." The old cowboy said "I couldn't. It was all in one string."
 
2021-09-21 10:52:53 PM  
And recall that this is one of the most educated countries on the planet. Between stories like this and horse de-wormer ingesting people, I'm starting to get worried.
 
2021-09-21 10:58:18 PM  
I've heard of blowing smoke up your ass, but this is ridiculous!
 
433 [TotalFark]
2021-09-21 11:00:48 PM  

Abacus9: I've heard of blowing smoke up your ass, but this is ridiculous!


Abacus9, now there's a name... hope you're well and refraining from putting tobacco in places with Mapplethorpe!
 
2021-09-21 11:21:46 PM  
Quit smoking using ZYN and Velo pouches.
No tobacco , just nicotine pouches.
Now I need to get off of nicotine.
But I like 'em!
During conf calls, after a few beers... right now...
Just need to make sure the camera is off when I'm tucking one in on a Zoom call... no one wants to see THAT.
 
2021-09-21 11:50:01 PM  

UncleDirtNap: So do you have to carry around an empty beer can to have your junk spit into?


/CBS
We had a guy that would just carry around random soda cans for a spitter, he always had a dip in and always would leave it sitting in some random place. Yeah, he was a nasty farker. My LPO came in with a can of coke and put it down on the workbench. Other dude came by and put his spitter on the workbench. LPO just finished talking about how hot it was outside, then reached behind him for a big swig of coke. I can tell you that I never thought a person turning green was a real thing, but this guy turned green. After he finished puking he turned to the dude and very quietly said "was that your farking spitter?" Dude was like "uhh, maybe. " LPO then proceeded to beat his ass harder than I ever saw him beat someone's ass ever.
 
2021-09-21 11:51:29 PM  
The bars going non-smoking really hurt the strip club magic shows.
 
2021-09-21 11:55:31 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-22 1:01:43 AM  
My brother used Swedish Snus and a little Nicorette gum to quit smoking. He had cut back a lot but just couldn't totally get rid of cigarettes. Using the snus and gum allowed him to split the habit of smoking from the physical nicotine dependence. It was his third serious attempt. He has been tobacco free for over eight years.
 
2021-09-22 1:19:10 AM  
We now go to Sweden's Health Minister who clarifies to these bleached farknuggets how you're supposed to ingest tobacco:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-22 1:31:58 AM  

Billy Liar: scottydoesntknow: ...what happens when you need to spit?

Smoke comes out your ass.


/ kids used to use Copenhagen and Skoal in Junior High and High School in the '70s (no pouches) and you'd see their disgusting spit cups all around.  The rules only mentioned smoking tobacco, so they were pretty free to do it.  The smart ones used a little discretion.


We had a kid who was enough of an actual addicted smoker that on a field trip without a chance to sneak a smoke brought a can of Copenhagen & a spit bottle on the bus.

Snuck in a dip thinking we'd still have a few minutes til we got to where we were going but someone NEEDED to go to the bathroom ASAP so we stopped, and while the chaperone was telling everyone we had 10 minutes, dude's mouth filled up with dip spit bc he couldn't spit without getting caught. He swallowed accidentally.

That saying about someone turning green with nausea is no lie. Dude looked like a mottled week old corpse before he ran to the bathroom.
 
2021-09-22 4:38:08 AM  
Nicotine is absorbed transdermal.  You farking psychopaths.
 
2021-09-22 6:27:54 AM  

makerofbadjokes: Nicotine is absorbed transdermal.  You farking psychopaths.


Back in the day, the ex-wife and I worked on a tobacco farm in Western Mass. Brushing the leaves can irritate your skin fairly badly, and despite the heat in the summer, and with Western Mass' wonderful but brief nigh tropical humidity, the girls in the fields would either wear long sleeves or wrap their forearms with cloth to lower contact. That didn't prevent exposure, and every summer the ex would go through nicotine withdrawal at the end of the season. She didn't smoke, but we considered getting her the patch to step her down.

Fun fact: women make for better tie tobacco much better than men. Shade tobacco needs to be tied, each plant, to help it stand up straight to give the maximum amount of sun to promote leaf growth. When they're young you tie the plant with a length of string, with some play to that it can get wrapped to hold it up later in the season. Tying is usually piece-work and used to be a great way to earn some money for school, so the farm had a lot of college girls working because nimble fingers and greed would spur them on. Sewing tobacco was another piecework job, for curing after harvest. Again, women excelled at it, and it was one of those jobs where a man rarely seen on the barn floor, save for picking up lats filled with leaves, to hang at the other end of the barn. Jason Lobo, Rebecca's brother, worked on the farm with us, and that guy was great to have on the team, because when you hang tobacco, you are literally walking on rafters in the barn, and the barns generally have four layers to hang the stuff to cure--about 35 feet or so. It usually gook four guys to hang the top layer, handing up the lats one at a time to get placed. With Jason, at 6'10, you could work a four man bent with two guys and set up a crew to fill in the threes and twos.

Tobacco needs an oddly specific and weird skill set.
 
2021-09-22 6:39:52 AM  
Idk who Young Scandinavian is when did his mix tape drop
 
2021-09-22 9:59:20 AM  

bababa: Rectal cancer and penile cancer - two in particular I would think people would try their best to avoid.


Yeah I'd concur.

Also, while the rectum does function to absorb substances (which is why suppositories are a thing), the penis does not. So I'm not sure what they're going for with that one since they'd get mostly the same efficacy from taping the pod to their chest or something. May as well get a nicotine patch and put it in a regular place rather than ruin your danglies (and your drawers) with application of tobacco pouches.
 
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