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(Brand Eating)   #1 Halloween treat in the Midwest this year goes to   (brandeating.com) divider line
    More: Sad, 15-fl-oz bag, size fits, Hidden Valley Ranch costume, Halloween-themed products, ranch packets, limited time, bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch dressing, Pumpkin  
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1112 clicks; posted to Food » on 21 Sep 2021 at 7:50 PM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



43 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-09-21 4:15:56 PM  
OK, now THAT's farking scary!
 
2021-09-21 4:15:58 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

From Easter....
 
2021-09-21 4:26:05 PM  
Do kids still go out alone, or in groups of kids, or is it all parentally guided these days?  Not that kids don't like Ranch, but those suckers are going to get stomped on in the driveway if you just hand them out.
 
2021-09-21 4:26:06 PM  

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: OK, now THAT's farking scary!


(giving out Ranch Dressing as a Halloween treat, that is.  Also Ranch Dressing on pizza.)
 
2021-09-21 4:29:00 PM  

Ker_Thwap: Do kids still go out alone, or in groups of kids, or is it all parentally guided these days?  Not that kids don't like Ranch, but those suckers are going to get stomped on in the driveway if you just hand them out.


Kids around here still go out alone, or in groups of kids.

And anyone giving kids Ranch Dressing as a Halloween treat should count themselves lucky if the worst they get is having it smeared all over their car.

The Marketing assholes at Hidden Valley should have those packets returned to them.  Rectally.  Still in the packets.  (Hope they have sharp corners!)
 
2021-09-21 4:31:17 PM  
Why?

Is someone else handing out slices of pineapple pizza?
 
2021-09-21 4:38:28 PM  
I'm just going to go to Taco Bell and grab a few handfuls of Fire sauce to give to the kiddies.

i.ebayimg.comView Full Size


At least they won't be high on sugar!

ih1.redbubble.netView Full Size
 
2021-09-21 4:39:36 PM  
This is a crime.
 
2021-09-21 5:09:25 PM  

Ker_Thwap: Do kids still go out alone, or in groups of kids, or is it all parentally guided these days?  Not that kids don't like Ranch, but those suckers are going to get stomped on in the driveway if you just hand them out.


And then I'd egg your house after stomping the packets.
 
2021-09-21 5:12:44 PM  
Only marginally better than handing out Halloween Toothbrushes.
 
2021-09-21 5:44:28 PM  

Harry Wagstaff: Ker_Thwap: Do kids still go out alone, or in groups of kids, or is it all parentally guided these days?  Not that kids don't like Ranch, but those suckers are going to get stomped on in the driveway if you just hand them out.

And then I'd egg your house after stomping the packets.


I was about to say - this is a great way to get your house egged and rolled.
 
2021-09-21 6:31:57 PM  
We're eggin' your house.
 
2021-09-21 6:32:38 PM  
Sorry, someone else already made that joke, I remove my hat to them.
 
2021-09-21 7:15:26 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Harry Wagstaff: Ker_Thwap: Do kids still go out alone, or in groups of kids, or is it all parentally guided these days?  Not that kids don't like Ranch, but those suckers are going to get stomped on in the driveway if you just hand them out.

And then I'd egg your house after stomping the packets.

I was about to say - this is a great way to get your house egged and rolled.


And a possible bag of flaming dog poo 💩
 
2021-09-21 8:07:55 PM  
Still better than circus peanuts.

Fark user imageView Full Size

Apparently you can buy a 20 lb. box of these monstrosities (pictured above) for $80.
 
2021-09-21 8:11:13 PM  
what asshat thought this was a good idea?  i cannot speak for today's kids but i would have been pissed if i got a packet of ranch dressing for trick or treats and probably would have tossed it out on on the giver's yard
 
2021-09-21 8:42:39 PM  
You people have this all wrong... this isn't for the kiddies, this is for the adult attendants. They get a life saving slurp of enough calories of fat to waddle to the next house. Have you seen those grain fed monsters?
It takes a lot of joules to get them moving.
 
2021-09-21 8:52:32 PM  
Perfect!
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2021-09-21 9:07:04 PM  

Picklehead: I'm just going to go to Taco Bell and grab a few handfuls of Fire sauce to give to the kiddies.

[i.ebayimg.com image 225x300]

At least they won't be high on sugar!

[ih1.redbubble.net image 750x1000]


It's Halloween. At least make it the Diablo sauce.
 
2021-09-21 9:13:12 PM  

skyotter: Perfect!
[Fark user image 519x484]


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*walks away whistling*
 
2021-09-21 9:13:44 PM  

skyotter: Perfect!
[Fark user image 519x484]


WTF!?

How much "food" could possibly fit in a packet that small!?
 
2021-09-21 9:15:05 PM  

Psychopompous: Still better than circus peanuts.

[Fark user image 850x850]
Apparently you can buy a 20 lb. box of these monstrosities (pictured above) for $80.


Circus peanuts are a crime against humanity.
 
2021-09-21 9:18:24 PM  

Psychopompous: Still better than circus peanuts.

[Fark user image 850x850]
Apparently you can buy a 20 lb. box of these monstrosities (pictured above) for $80.


That's a lot of styrofoam packaging for a few small items.
/wait a minute...
 
2021-09-21 9:32:01 PM  

grimlock1972: what asshat thought this was a good idea?  i cannot speak for today's kids but i would have been pissed if i got a packet of ranch dressing for trick or treats and probably would have tossed it out on on the giver's yard


My nephews will love them. About to order some for the oldest one's bday.

/I did not raise them and am not responsible for their taste, or lack of it.
 
2021-09-21 9:37:04 PM  
Then you can dip your balls into the kids' candy bucket.

That was sarcasm. Don't expose your genitalia to children.
 
2021-09-21 9:50:59 PM  
They stole my idea!

If their kids come by my place they're getting nothing but soy sauce packets.
 
2021-09-21 10:45:14 PM  

Porous Horace: They stole my idea!

If their kids come by my place they're getting nothing but soy sauce packets.


Don't be surprised if you find a bunch of decapitated My Little Ponies heads in your bed.
 
2021-09-21 10:47:59 PM  

Ragin' Asian: Then you can dip your balls into the kids' candy bucket.

That was sarcasm. Don't expose your genitalia to children.


Children are not normally at the parties where candy sized buckets of mashed potatoes are left out for anyone to decide if this was their kind of party.

This gets harder as you get into your thirties with kids but surprisingly easy in your fifties without the little snots.. Hot mama, please don't hurt me, no mo'.
 
2021-09-21 11:36:04 PM  
70 calories in that treat sized ranch compared to 80 calories  in a snickers.. it's not even "healthier"
 
2021-09-22 12:03:13 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Harry Wagstaff: Ker_Thwap: Do kids still go out alone, or in groups of kids, or is it all parentally guided these days?  Not that kids don't like Ranch, but those suckers are going to get stomped on in the driveway if you just hand them out.

And then I'd egg your house after stomping the packets.

I was about to say - this is a great way to get your house egged and rolled.


If you're running low on eggs and TP...nope, still a horrible idea.
 
2021-09-22 1:28:18 AM  

OdradekRex: [Fark user image 225x225]
From Easter....


Quiet, you Philistine.  Peeps are God's way of letting us know that we have all been forgiven for our sins.

i.pinimg.comView Full Size


/and they are excellent when toasted over an open flame, but only the yellow and white ones.
//the pink and blue ones are Satan's Children
///and the Halloween punkin spice ones are his fluffy poops
 
2021-09-22 1:35:59 AM  
I think my house is visited by about a half dozen children on Halloween.. while I'm asleep, so I don't know for sure.
 
2021-09-22 2:25:48 AM  

OdradekRex: [Fark user image 225x225]
From Easter....


Could be worse.

Could be Hidden Valley Ranch Peeps.  OR Hidden Valley Ranch Circus Peanuts.
 
2021-09-22 2:40:42 AM  

casey17: OdradekRex: [Fark user image 225x225]
From Easter....

Could be worse.

Could be Hidden Valley Ranch Peeps.  OR Hidden Valley Ranch Circus Peanuts.


Hidden Valley Ranch-filled chocolate egg.
 
2021-09-22 5:27:28 AM  
Seriously, if you have to make a living by writing filler for a site called "BrandEating", just end your life now.  Trust me, your family won't miss you.
 
2021-09-22 5:53:26 AM  
fark off with this bullshiat.
 
2021-09-22 7:28:16 AM  
Yay! I get to trot this one out:

Fark user imageView Full Size
/actually own a copy of this
//it's a little funny
///stuck in the midwest as a blue cheese man
 
2021-09-22 7:44:17 AM  

hlehmann: Seriously, if you have to make a living by writing filler for a site called "BrandEating", just end your life now.  Trust me, your family won't miss you.


B-b-but I got that communications degree!
 
2021-09-22 8:31:13 AM  
Ranch dressing on pizza wtf
 
2021-09-22 8:39:26 AM  
Anyone who hands out that shiat should have their house so thoroughly toilet papered that it would be impossible to leave it.
 
2021-09-22 8:44:12 AM  

common sense is an oxymoron: casey17: OdradekRex: [Fark user image 225x225]
From Easter....

Could be worse.

Could be Hidden Valley Ranch Peeps.  OR Hidden Valley Ranch Circus Peanuts.

Hidden Valley Ranch-filled chocolate egg.


Don't give them any ideas.
 
2021-09-22 9:37:19 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: Porous Horace: They stole my idea!

If their kids come by my place they're getting nothing but soy sauce packets.

Don't be surprised if you find a bunch of more decapitated My Little Ponies heads in your bed.

 
2021-09-22 10:13:01 AM  

Porous Horace: drjekel_mrhyde: Porous Horace: They stole my idea!

If their kids come by my place they're getting nothing but soy sauce packets.

Don't be surprised if you find a bunch of more decapitated My Little Ponies heads in your bed.


Fark user imageView Full Size
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
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