Skip to content
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Salt Lake Tribune)   The proper way to poop in the woods. No, a bear did not write this article. Wasn't the pope either   ( divider line
    More: Interesting, Feces, Toilet, Portable toilet, Toilet paper, Defecation, group of Utah state biologists, toilet paper, Toilets  
•       •       •

2262 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Sep 2021 at 10:15 AM (18 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2021-09-21 9:26:37 AM  
23 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size

"So tell me, rabbit. Do you ever have problems with shiat sticking to your fur?"
2021-09-21 10:41:56 AM  
10 votes:

fragMasterFlash: [Fark user image 425x298]

"So tell me, rabbit. Do you ever have problems with shiat sticking to your fur?"

muslimsuccess.comView Full Size
2021-09-21 10:24:32 AM  
9 votes:
Someone tell the bears to stop pooping on the trails, then. I did a 26km hike on Sunday and saw three piles of bear poop... one was quite fresh and apparently it was a good blueberry crop in the area.
2021-09-21 10:38:37 AM  
8 votes:
You're not my poopervisor.
2021-09-21 10:20:46 AM  
6 votes:
The author of that article really knows his shiat.
2021-09-21 10:19:41 AM  
5 votes:
That paywall want's me to pay $150.00 for a one year subscription? LOL
2021-09-21 10:20:50 AM  
5 votes:
Huh, I've been bringing a demo Home Depot toilet with me for all my hikes.
2021-09-21 10:28:58 AM  
5 votes:

UberDave: The article doesn't mention it but some wag bags not only have the bacteria killing crystals (probably lye or something) but they have the absorbent mixed in.

For back country car or boat camping, I prefer the Cleanwaste WAG bags and portable toilet.  The toilet isn't require but it is packable, light and clean.  Again - for *car* and *boat* camping.  You can still carry the WAG bags in the backpack for pack-out areas if you wish.  Each WAG bag has a waste bag with the gel/bacteria powder already in it  This bag is probably about 3/4 the size of a tall kitchen bag so you can fold it over.  There is also a heavy mil zip-top bag that will contain everything after you are done.  Everything in the kit is (quickly) bio-degradable.

If you want to make your own bio-bags you can use various bio-degradable bags and go to a tractor or ranch supply store and get the powder they use for horse stalls and the like - it's pretty much the same thing that is in the WAG bag (sans bacteria crystals) and is cheap.

Can you get the powder that also has Ivermectin?
2021-09-21 10:25:42 AM  
4 votes:
On the Origin of Feces and Means of Natural Disposal, or the Preservation of

Favoured Places in the Struggle for Pooping

2021-09-21 10:21:34 AM  
3 votes:
It's more interesting in video form.

Big Wall Climbing: How NOT to Poop on El Capitan
Youtube 73aMK1dTCjY
2021-09-21 11:19:59 AM  
3 votes:
I Poop directly into paper bags.

But first I write the name of my intended target on the bag so I leave the fiery poop bags at the correct house.

I also do this while camping.
2021-09-21 10:33:27 AM  
2 votes:

The Irresponsible Captain: It's more interesting in video form.


Surprised those aren't German climbers.
2021-09-21 10:43:26 AM  
2 votes:
Does that mean my dog's not supposed to eat it?

/do not have a dog
2021-09-21 11:29:19 AM  
2 votes:

The Irresponsible Captain: It's more interesting in video form.

[YouTube video: Big Wall Climbing: How NOT to Poop on El Capitan]

Oh gawd.
Not clicking the scat porn snuff film where the climber plummets thousands of feet while the camera does a close-up of him "turtling" a giant log.
Not clicking.  Oh HTF no.
2021-09-21 11:47:02 AM  
2 votes:

Trik: Alway carry toilet paper so you don't ent up tearing the sleeves off your shirt to wipe.

I have finished long marathon training runs with one less sock on more than one occasion.

/okay, two occasions.
2021-09-21 12:35:38 PM  
2 votes:

kdawg7736: Well there is another way to catch a bear. Fill a pit with leaves and put some peas on it. When a bear comes to take a pea it will fall in.

You forgot the ashes.  You fill the pit with ashes, so when the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ashhole.
2021-09-21 12:39:55 PM  
2 votes:
Per BLM for Lost Coast Trail, N CA:

"While traveling on the coast, dig your hole in the intertidal zone (the wet sand near the ocean)."

Watch out for sneaker waves, it's the world's largest bidet 🌊!
2021-09-21 11:38:45 AM  
1 vote:
The Hikers Creed:

Leave nothing but footprints.

Take nothing but pictures.

Kill nothing but time.

The Hiker's Addendum:

Yes, my backpack smells like yesterday's chili because it is full of my feces.  I said to leave nothing and I meant it.
2021-09-21 12:18:59 PM  
1 vote:

wingedkat: tom baker's scarf: why the hell are all of you packing your poo out?  if you were in some cave system or at an underground lake sure but if you are just out in the wild dig a cat hole away from where anyone is likely to go (no pun intended) and away from water, squat, wipe with regular TP and cover it back up.

i'm all for, and insist that you pick up all your garbage and leave the place at least as good as you found it but come on with the poop.  you might be a real turd but your turds are no worse than any animal's, especially with them buried.

It depends on where you are.  Cat holes are ok in forests and plains areas with rich soil and warm temps that will break things down quickly.

They are not ok on mountain tops, tundra, desert, or near water.

i agree with the near water. the way you can tell is i specifically mentioned water in my post.  As for the others; if the biological activity is so low that poop won't break down, what exactly, are you afraid of contaminating? oh no i added a tiny amount of water and nutrients to this barren landscape. sure the bacteria will nonviable within hours of water evaporating or it freezing but think of the effects 2oz of freeze dried poo will have on that pile of rocks or this berm of sand.

Are you packing out your pee too? how about the skin or hair you shed? you spit? your breath? what about the water you use to rinse out your cooking gear or the plastic that sloths off your gear?  my god what if you purify some water and then dump the extra back into the stream?  do you go back and de-compact the soil at every place you stepped, sat or laid down? what if you move a branch or a log? ever think that if the ecosystem is to frail to handle a small amount of buried poo you probably aren't doing it any favors just by being there?
2021-09-21 2:47:32 PM  
1 vote:
I find it hilarious that Charmin has chosen Bears as their spokes-cartoons because of their well-known proclivity for shiating in the woods.

Fark user imageView Full Size
Displayed 20 of 20 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.