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(Mirror.co.uk)   Doctor alleges drinking coffee first thing in the morning is a terrible idea. Well, it's either that or smack my coworkers   (mirror.co.uk) divider line
    More: Asinine, Coffee, Dr Karan Raj, BBC Morning Live, Cortisol, Drink, 2006 singles, Karan's TikTok followers, first thing  
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1137 clicks; posted to STEM » on 18 Sep 2021 at 10:30 PM (11 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



76 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-09-18 5:44:48 PM  
Isn't that assuming that you're actually getting enough sleep in the first place?
 
2021-09-18 6:02:42 PM  

aleister_greynight: Isn't that assuming that you're actually getting enough sleep in the first place?


Subby probably is if he's getting smack from his coworkers.
 
2021-09-18 6:31:25 PM  
I always thought it was second on the list:
1. drain bladder
2. refill with caffeinated beverage
3. eat bacon
 
2021-09-18 7:17:55 PM  
I drink around 40 oz (10 cup coffee maker where coffe industry cups = 4oz) every day. Have done that for a few decades. I'm a bit adult ADD and the coffee help me concentrate and I ain't giving it up.
 
2021-09-18 8:09:35 PM  
Hey doc, fark you.
 
2021-09-18 8:35:22 PM  
Dis mofo' can lick my taint.
 
2021-09-18 8:50:00 PM  
Do you want me to crap before I come to the office or spend a good portion of the morning stinking up the men's restroom?
 
2021-09-18 8:50:30 PM  
which was later shared to his TikTok

Ah yes. Not published to a peer-reviewed journal.  Shared to his TikTok.
 
2021-09-18 10:06:48 PM  

Morchella: I drink around 40 oz (10 cup coffee maker where coffe industry cups = 4oz) every day. Have done that for a few decades. I'm a bit adult ADD and the coffee help me concentrate and I ain't giving it up.



FYI, coffee industry cups are 5 ounces. I get 5 12-ounce mugs out of a 12 cup carafe. Every morning.
 
2021-09-18 10:08:09 PM  
My brain literally does not function until it gets caffeinated.
 
2021-09-18 10:33:32 PM  
Read a post from someone that said they wait a full hour after brushing their teeth in the morning before eating or drinking. So the fluoride can work. A full hour? With no coffee? The horror.
 
2021-09-18 10:38:21 PM  
Mornings? Whew. Dodged a bullet there.
 
2021-09-18 10:45:20 PM  
He's only saying that to get attention.
 
2021-09-18 11:05:03 PM  
dzasv7x7a867v.cloudfront.netView Full Size
 
2021-09-18 11:07:38 PM  
Coffee is jet fuel for the driven. So yeah, Fark that doctor in particular with a baseball bat with rusty razor wire.
 
2021-09-18 11:25:08 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-18 11:36:11 PM  
Handcuffs, jail the whole nine yards. Back in my day slapping a coworker was just "frowned upon".
 
2021-09-18 11:45:37 PM  

felching pen: I always thought it was second on the list:
1. drain bladder
2. refill with caffeinated beverage
3. eat bacon


How many of these before or after getting out of bed?
 
2021-09-18 11:58:43 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-19 12:00:50 AM  
How would I poop then?
 
2021-09-19 12:11:33 AM  
I allege the good Doctor is a farking moron.

Can we all stipulate that he should go chug a bowl of dicks?
 
2021-09-19 12:12:02 AM  
If I don't get my coffee I start to turn Communist. You don't want to see me when I haven't had coffee.
 
2021-09-19 12:32:04 AM  
This is one headline that could've used the "...reasoned discussion to the right" format.
 
2021-09-19 12:40:08 AM  

ImpendingCynic: felching pen: I always thought it was second on the list:
1. drain bladder
2. refill with caffeinated beverage
3. eat bacon

How many of these before or after getting out of bed?


That's item 4.
 
2021-09-19 12:46:48 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-19 12:47:30 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-19 12:50:29 AM  

Gordon Bennett: If I don't get my coffee I start to turn Communist. You don't want to see me when I haven't had coffee.


Banner: "Truth is, I'm *always* commie"
 
2021-09-19 1:12:56 AM  
Well, you always got this option......

https://enemacoffeereview.com/
 
2021-09-19 1:35:54 AM  
FTFA:
"Speaking on BBC Morning Live, Dr Karan Raj, famed for sharing health tips on TikTok..."

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-19 1:47:13 AM  

Ginnungagap42: Morchella: I drink around 40 oz (10 cup coffee maker where coffe industry cups = 4oz) every day. Have done that for a few decades. I'm a bit adult ADD and the coffee help me concentrate and I ain't giving it up.


FYI, coffee industry cups are 5 ounces. I get 5 12-ounce mugs out of a 12 cup carafe. Every morning.


Huh, I thought they were 6 ounces
 
2021-09-19 2:01:34 AM  

johnny_vegas: Ginnungagap42: Morchella: I drink around 40 oz (10 cup coffee maker where coffe industry cups = 4oz) every day. Have done that for a few decades. I'm a bit adult ADD and the coffee help me concentrate and I ain't giving it up.


FYI, coffee industry cups are 5 ounces. I get 5 12-ounce mugs out of a 12 cup carafe. Every morning.

Huh, I thought they were 6 ounces


Six ounces is the standard serving size for coffee.
 
2021-09-19 2:15:35 AM  

KarmicDisaster: How would I poop then?


Exercise?
 
2021-09-19 2:28:36 AM  
This is old news.

They've been saying for decades you are wasting the caffeine boost by making it a first thing move instead of waiting a couple of hours.
 
2021-09-19 2:30:41 AM  

FarkingChas: KarmicDisaster: How would I poop then?

Exercise?


<snerk>

Coffee exercises my peristaltic muscles, does that count?
 
2021-09-19 2:50:06 AM  

phimuskapsi: johnny_vegas: Ginnungagap42: Morchella: I drink around 40 oz (10 cup coffee maker where coffe industry cups = 4oz) every day. Have done that for a few decades. I'm a bit adult ADD and the coffee help me concentrate and I ain't giving it up.


FYI, coffee industry cups are 5 ounces. I get 5 12-ounce mugs out of a 12 cup carafe. Every morning.

Huh, I thought they were 6 ounces

Six ounces is the standard serving size for coffee.


SIX ounces?

Do they expect us to consume it with an eyedropper?

I use a *standard* coffee mug - a ceramic keg with a handle.  One carafe from our coffee maker yields four mugs.
 
2021-09-19 3:03:07 AM  
Wasn't there some king that was convinced coffee and tea were bad for you? He ordered that a pair of twins be given coffee and tea respectively for years to prove it was harmful. The pair of twins both outlived the king and also the people administering the test if I recall correctly.
 
2021-09-19 3:03:45 AM  

nicholasneko: Wasn't there some king that was convinced coffee and tea were bad for you? He ordered that a pair of twins be given coffee and tea respectively for years to prove it was harmful. The pair of twins both outlived the king and also the people administering the test if I recall correctly.


Found it https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gust​av_I​II_of_Sweden%27s_coffee_experiment
 
2021-09-19 3:15:37 AM  

nicholasneko: nicholasneko: Wasn't there some king that was convinced coffee and tea were bad for you? He ordered that a pair of twins be given coffee and tea respectively for years to prove it was harmful. The pair of twins both outlived the king and also the people administering the test if I recall correctly.

Found it https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gusta​v_III_of_Sweden%27s_coffee_experiment


My great grandfather smoked, drank almost every day, ate bacon every breakfast, and ate a raw hamburger whenever he grilled.

He was nearly 100.

Sample size is a thing :)
 
2021-09-19 4:44:43 AM  

uttertosh: Gordon Bennett: If I don't get my coffee I start to turn Communist. You don't want to see me when I haven't had coffee.

Banner: "Truth is, I'm *always* commie"


Well..yeah. But when I have my coffee I stop talking about grinding kulaks into the dirt with the tractors they greedily kept for themselves instead of owning them communally with their neighbours.
 
2021-09-19 4:47:53 AM  
I joined a new exercise group this year, so I work out first thing and I don't get my first cup of coffee until 10 or 11am. It's fine, and I'm sure the exercise and natural hormone cycles are better for me, but I love it when I get a day off and curl up with coffee at 7am.
 
2021-09-19 4:48:48 AM  

Gordon Bennett: uttertosh: Gordon Bennett: If I don't get my coffee I start to turn Communist. You don't want to see me when I haven't had coffee.

Banner: "Truth is, I'm *always* commie"

Well..yeah. But when I have my coffee I stop talking about grinding kulaks into the dirt with the tractors they greedily kept for themselves instead of owning them communally with their neighbours.


Sounds like you should skip the coffee more often.
 
2021-09-19 5:23:55 AM  
5am isn't "technically" morning yet, so I'm good.
 
2021-09-19 5:32:40 AM  
I get that. I've been noticing that thanks to getting the kids to school in the morning I'm drinking coffee about two hours after waking up and I feel like I'm more productive.
 
2021-09-19 5:53:47 AM  
Giving your coworkers smack isn't a good idea either, Subby.

Entertaining, perhaps, but not a good idea.
 
2021-09-19 6:50:49 AM  

Exluddite: aleister_greynight: Isn't that assuming that you're actually getting enough sleep in the first place?

Subby probably is if he's getting smack from his coworkers.


Subby must be Dinky Hocker.
 
2021-09-19 6:53:04 AM  

uttertosh: Gordon Bennett: If I don't get my coffee I start to turn Communist. You don't want to see me when I haven't had coffee.

Banner: "Truth is, I'm *always* commie"


Nah.  He's a commie chameleon.  He comes and goes....
 
2021-09-19 7:20:05 AM  
I sometimes have a strong cup of instant coffee while waiting for the machine in the morning.
If society ever breaks down I will steal a boat and sail to South America or Java rather than decaffeinate.
 
2021-09-19 7:50:06 AM  

FarkingChas: KarmicDisaster: How would I poop then?

Exercise?


So... wake up and.... exercise? God this just keeps getting worse.
 
2021-09-19 7:54:57 AM  
If you need coffee every morning that's called an addiction.
 
2021-09-19 8:48:11 AM  
Well sure, first you make the coffee, then you drink it. You can't drink it first.
 
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