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(Kokomo Tribune)   A real life Willy Wonka tale: Colorado man wins candy factory after finding golden ticket   (kokomotribune.com) divider line
    More: Cool, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Highland Park Single Malt, golden ticket, Golden Ticket, The Candy Man, treasure hunt, Andrew Maas  
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3452 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Sep 2021 at 8:53 PM (11 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2021-09-18 9:00:00 PM  
36 votes:

AAAAGGGGHHHH: Wait'll he finds out that the Oompa Loompas are cannibals.


Oh no, it's in Florida, it's worse than that

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2021-09-18 9:00:54 PM  
14 votes:
Owner: Congratulations! You just won a candy factory!
Winner: Awesome! Can't wait to run a candy factory!
Owner: Great to hear that! Now, it's in Florida so you'll...
Winner: HARD PASS!
 
2021-09-18 10:32:13 PM  
11 votes:
Second prize is 2 candy factories in Florida.
 
2021-09-18 10:49:41 PM  
10 votes:

HighlanderRPI: AAAAGGGGHHHH: Wait'll he finds out that the Oompa Loompas are cannibals.

Oh no, it's in Florida, it's worse than that

[Fark user image image 850x895]


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2021-09-18 9:33:03 PM  
9 votes:
Trying to stick someone else with responsibility of getting the body of the fat German kid out of the pipes huh?
 
2021-09-18 8:57:47 PM  
8 votes:
Wait'll he finds out that the Oompa Loompas are cannibals.
 
2021-09-18 9:29:08 PM  
6 votes:
The name of the company is Whizzo Chocolate Company.  Crunchy frogs FTW
 
2021-09-19 12:56:14 AM  
6 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-18 9:26:21 PM  
3 votes:
You won a candy factory and all the candy factory lawsuits. Also, my severance package bankrupted the business.
 
2021-09-18 11:47:06 PM  
3 votes:
The best decision I ever made was to join the Air Force. They literally paid me to get the hell out of Florida.
 
2021-09-19 12:49:02 AM  
3 votes:

Gordon Bennett: Better than having to suck snozzberries for a living.


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What do you think Mike TV ended up doing?
 
2021-09-18 9:09:36 PM  
2 votes:
What kind of person gives away a successful business?
No one.
 
2021-09-18 9:52:33 PM  
2 votes:
Demand went way down after they discovered that some of the lead paint flaking off the  ceiling tiles also contained asbestos and had been contaminating the candy for several decades.  Never had the same 'tang' once they encased those tiles.
 
2021-09-18 9:57:47 PM  
2 votes:

jasonvatch: Truly an intelligent person:

"But he knew he couldn't pick up his wife and two kids and move them to Florida to run the business."


It's telling that he's willing to fark up his family life in pretty much ever conceivable way except move to Florida.
 
2021-09-19 12:05:40 AM  
2 votes:
Better than having to suck snozzberries for a living.
 
2021-09-18 4:37:18 PM  
1 vote:
Truly an intelligent person:

"But he knew he couldn't pick up his wife and two kids and move them to Florida to run the business."
 
2021-09-18 9:00:41 PM  
1 vote:
I assumed he was going to take over Coors. This is a touch more reputable.
 
2021-09-18 9:13:02 PM  
1 vote:

jasonvatch: Truly an intelligent person:

"But he knew he couldn't pick up his wife and two kids and move them to Florida to run the business."


As someone who also lives in Colorado, there aren't enough candy factories in Florida to make me want to move there from here. About the only thing that might make me want to spend any longer than a week in Florida would be if I got a job in the spaceflight industry, and I'm pretty sure that ship sailed a long, long time ago.

///I despise excessive heat
//Especially when it's coupled with excessive humidity
/And the people strike me as being absolutely batsh*t insane, and not the good kind of insane either
 
2021-09-18 9:15:58 PM  
1 vote:
Grandpa Joe wants his cut.
 
2021-09-18 9:27:34 PM  
1 vote:

jasonvatch: Truly an intelligent person:

"But he knew he couldn't pick up his wife and two kids and move them to Florida to run the business."


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2021-09-18 9:41:45 PM  
1 vote:
"So like before, they jumped in the car and started driving from Florida to Kansas with no particular place in mind. When they hit Indiana, Thirtyacre decided she was tired of driving. The two planned to head to Illinois to see her son. "

Just like Wonka would have done.
 
2021-09-19 12:31:03 AM  
1 vote:

Gordon Bennett: Better than having to suck snozzberries for a living.


Well, your mom tips AND it's not in Florida, so I think I'm ahead of the game there.
 
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