Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Congratulations, Britain. You no longer have to use a slide rule to find out how many rods to the hogshead your trusty old Hillman Minx is getting   (todayuknews.com) divider line
    More: Stupid, Imperial units, Metric system, Kilogram, European Union, United Kingdom, metric martyr, Brexit minister Lord Frost, Pound  
•       •       •

3173 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Sep 2021 at 4:35 PM (11 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2021-09-16 2:43:54 PM  
38 votes:
Any excuse to repost this gem:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-16 3:25:27 PM  
33 votes:

enry: Get back to me in a fortnight.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-16 2:45:47 PM  
32 votes:
Forgot this ironic irony:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-16 4:19:33 PM  
24 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-16 2:43:02 PM  
23 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size


"Beer will taste as it used to again."
 
2021-09-16 5:46:01 PM  
16 votes:
*sigh, guess this is once again appropriate:

external-preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2021-09-16 2:22:07 PM  
13 votes:

FlashHarry: Well, that's embarrassing.


Next up: witch dunking.
 
2021-09-16 6:10:16 PM  
12 votes:
As an (American) engineer, I occasionally had to correct people's assumptions that nautical miles were just a fancy way of saying "miles."

// It tied them in knots.
 
2021-09-16 3:13:01 PM  
11 votes:

Ambivalence: This is especially stupid when you consider that "pound" is both a unit of weight, and the name of their currency.

Are people talking about cost or weight?


Don't even get me started on how many stone they weigh. Or throw?
 
2021-09-16 4:51:57 PM  
10 votes:

phalamir: I assume de-decimalization will occur next year.


You'll be able to buy a set of Whitworth spanners for ten bob thruppence!  What a bargain!
 
2021-09-16 4:44:48 PM  
8 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size


So, they should expect to wake up one of these mornings to see Canada and Jamaica forming a queue at the front door, dutifully waiting to have their colonial status re-instituted?
 
2021-09-16 4:50:22 PM  
8 votes:
It's about time!  Time that the foot-candle is restored to the meaningful place among units in society that it enjoyed for so long -- the top of the heap!
 
2021-09-16 4:49:49 PM  
7 votes:
What about farktons and Rhode Islands?
 
2021-09-16 4:49:53 PM  
7 votes:
I assume de-decimalization will occur next year.
 
2021-09-16 4:58:59 PM  
7 votes:

Target Builder: Idiotic pandering.

Guarantee the same folks asking for this are gonna find out their math isn't as good as they remember and are gonna biatch about how they're being overcharged, accusing grocers of marking up the prices with the conversion.


Not-so-bold prediction: the numbers on the placards will stay the same; shopkeepers will simply cross out "/kg" and replace it with "/lb".
 
2021-09-16 5:05:43 PM  
7 votes:

mofa: enry: Get back to me in a fortnight.

[Fark user image 425x723]


No you morons, it's a game.  And if it takes you 2 weeks to play it, you're doing it wrong.  Talk to someone under the age of 90 and maybe they'll know what Fortnight is.
 
2021-09-16 2:30:43 PM  
6 votes:
Comedic.  But I look forward to being told about the superiority of this method.

I hope there's a chart
 
2021-09-16 5:14:37 PM  
6 votes:

whither_apophis: phalamir: I assume de-decimalization will occur next year.

they're decimating the metric system


Decimalization refers to when the British moved to having 1 pound equal 100 pence, instead of the old 1 pound equals 20 shillings, each made up of 12 pence.

To quote Terry Pratchett:

"NOTE FOR YOUNG PEOPLE AND AMERICANS: One shilling = Five Pee. It helps to understand the antique finances of the Witchfinder Army if you know the original British monetary system:

Two farthings = One Ha'penny. Two ha'pennies = One Penny. Three pennies = A Thrupenny Bit. Two Thrupences = A Sixpence. Two Sixpences = One Shilling, or Bob. Two Bob = A Florin. One Florin and One Sixpence = Half a Crown. Four Half Crowns = Ten Bob Note. Two Ten Bob Notes = One Pound (or 240 pennies). Once Pound and One Shilling = One Guinea.

The British resisted decimalized currency for a long time because they thought it was too complicated."
 
2021-09-16 5:26:02 PM  
6 votes:
A fortnight is fourteen-nights.
A thirtnight is thirteen-nights.
A doznight is a dozen nights. (To help distinguish it from Twelfthnight  which is a Shakespearean Play)
Elevnight is eleven nights.
No special words for 2 though 10 except  A week is seven nights - but not called a weeknight because that just means you have to get up early the next morning for work/school, or referring to a very tiny knight.
 
2021-09-16 4:40:37 PM  
5 votes:
The UK...still trying to catch up to America, one step back at a time.
 
2021-09-16 4:58:46 PM  
5 votes:

North_Central_Positronics: Ambivalence: This is especially stupid when you consider that "pound" is both a unit of weight, and the name of their currency.

Are people talking about cost or weight?

Don't even get me started on how many stone they weigh. Or throw?


Stones actually kind of make sense, particularly for people with eating disorders.  It gives you a little more wiggle room.
 
2021-09-16 5:40:05 PM  
5 votes:

Bertuccio: Boring fact: The US has never used Imperial units.  It used US Customary units which have the same names but different values.

I'm sure most Farkers know an Imperial pint is different from a US pint. But Imperial inches are different from US Inches too, and all the rest.

Other boring fact. The US still uses US Customary units, but they've been redefined and are now a reskin of the SI.


You must be a blast at parties
 
2021-09-16 4:49:33 PM  
4 votes:
"Can't you see this a is a crummy joint?"

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-16 4:51:23 PM  
4 votes:
What a saucy little Minx may look like.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-16 5:11:36 PM  
4 votes:

Ambivalence: This is especially stupid when you consider that "pound" is both a unit of weight, and the name of their currency.

Are people talking about cost or weight?


Yeah, they should stick to ounces. Unambiguous.
 
2021-09-16 4:40:37 PM  
3 votes:

oldernell: It would be nice if a pint were a pint in the US.


It's always at least a couple.
 
2021-09-16 5:32:36 PM  
3 votes:
archer metric system
Youtube gIWDVuHDpq0
 
2021-09-16 3:32:47 PM  
2 votes:
It would be nice if a pint were a pint in the US.
 
2021-09-16 4:43:24 PM  
2 votes:
This is like when Reagan undid the USA's planned conversion to metric. Except 40 years in the future, when people should know better. When the internet has made global trade and collaboration stronger than ever, and long after Britain had already completed a lot of conversion to metric. So, even worse than the Reagan administration.
 
2021-09-16 4:49:17 PM  
2 votes:
A "proper" pint is .568 liters, meaning Brexit will give British drinkers 13% more beer. So... winning?
 
2021-09-16 4:55:08 PM  
2 votes:

Robo Beat: phalamir: I assume de-decimalization will occur next year.

You'll be able to buy a set of Whitworth spanners for ten bob thruppence!  What a bargain!


Yes, but how many guineas for a phaeton-whip?
 
2021-09-16 4:57:52 PM  
2 votes:

FlashHarry: Well, that's embarrassing.


Maybe they are planning on nuking Japan or going to the moon, or something.
 
2021-09-16 5:08:56 PM  
2 votes:

phalamir: I assume de-decimalization will occur next year.


they're decimating the metric system
 
2021-09-16 5:10:46 PM  
2 votes:

whidbey: God, how stupid and petty.

Brexit really is the English version of Trump.


Same people were backing it, chuckling sovitely.
 
2021-09-16 6:37:54 PM  
2 votes:

A Cave Geek: *sigh, guess this is once again appropriate:

[external-preview.redd.it image 640x480]


As fun as this is, it's fairly easy to calculate the answer in American standard units ( the ironically named BTU ) and convert to calories ( or joules ) if need be.

I won't deny the value of SI units. They are vastly superior. It's just I can fully understand why people have little incentive to change when most of their lives they'll just be using relative comparisons within the same unit of measure.

/except for those thrust upon the computer science community... fark those people who want a kilobyte to be 1000 bytes and their stupid alternative kibibytes  )
//JMP ($FFFC)
 
2021-09-17 12:48:24 AM  
2 votes:

BigNumber12: Bertuccio: Boring fact: The US has never used Imperial units.  It used US Customary units which have the same names but different values.

I'm sure most Farkers know an Imperial pint is different from a US pint. But Imperial inches are different from US Inches too, and all the rest.

Other boring fact. The US still uses US Customary units, but they've been redefined and are now a reskin of the SI.

You must be a blast at parties


I was up-front about the interest level.

And who would want to go to a party where international drama about measurement systems wasn't a sure topic?
 
2021-09-16 2:19:15 PM  
1 vote:
Well, that's embarrassing.
 
2021-09-16 2:27:58 PM  
1 vote:
God, how stupid and petty.

Brexit really is the English version of Trump.
 
2021-09-16 2:46:09 PM  
1 vote:
This is especially stupid when you consider that "pound" is both a unit of weight, and the name of their currency.

Are people talking about cost or weight?
 
2021-09-16 4:54:52 PM  
1 vote:
A desperate attempt to deflect from some further monumental post-Brexit stuff-up...
 
2021-09-16 4:59:41 PM  
1 vote:
My V8 powered sedan gets 25mpg, or as I like to measure it, 504,000 rods to the hogshead.
And that's the way I like it.
 
2021-09-16 5:00:17 PM  
1 vote:

markie_farkie: What next, bringing back diseases like scurvy, rickets, scrofula, and the gout?


I farking wish gout were a thing of the past. Ain't nothing like having to call in sick because your fingers won't bend.
 
2021-09-16 5:07:28 PM  
1 vote:

The Irresponsible Captain: Oh, I forgot. My old Jetta still gets around 1000 leagues to the hogshead.


Almost 48mpg.... Impressive!
 
2021-09-16 5:29:47 PM  
1 vote:

mofa: enry: Get back to me in a fortnight.

[Fark user image image 425x723]


Today I learned the meaning of fort night.
Anyone know what four score means?
 
2021-09-16 5:42:16 PM  
1 vote:

aungen: mofa: enry: Get back to me in a fortnight.

[Fark user image 425x723]

No you morons, it's a game.  And if it takes you 2 weeks to play it, you're doing it wrong.  Talk to someone under the age of 90 and maybe they'll know what Fortnight is.


Hey it's fortnite like laser tag but online and they trick you into buying stupid shiat that doesn't even do anything like EA sports does
 
2021-09-16 5:50:28 PM  
1 vote:

waxbeans: mofa: enry: Get back to me in a fortnight.

[Fark user image image 425x723]

Today I learned the meaning of fort night.
Anyone know what four score means?


You have a sneaky sister

Connect Four - "Pretty Sneaky, Sis..." (Commercial, 1981)
Youtube KN3nohBw_CE
 
2021-09-16 5:57:11 PM  
1 vote:

aungen: FlashHarry: Well, that's embarrassing.

Maybe they are planning on nuking Japan or going to the moon, or something.


Selling nuclear submarines to Australia to piss off the Chinese.
 
2021-09-16 6:01:32 PM  
1 vote:
As has been said, no one is suggesting banning metric units, and in many areas we kept imperial anyway. Pints in pubs, miles and miles per hour on roads (though petrol and diesel is sold in litres) and most people, even young people, will still say they are six foot and twelve stone six rather than 181 cm and 80kg.

This is just giving people the choice what to use.
 
2021-09-16 6:05:02 PM  
1 vote:

Carter Pewterschmidt: As has been said, no one is suggesting banning metric units, and in many areas we kept imperial anyway. Pints in pubs, miles and miles per hour on roads (though petrol and diesel is sold in litres) and most people, even young people, will still say they are six foot and twelve stone six rather than 181 cm and 80kg.

This is just giving people the choice what to use.


Because having a bunch of conflicting systems instead of a standard isn't confusing as fark.
 
2021-09-16 6:19:49 PM  
1 vote:

whidbey: Carter Pewterschmidt: As has been said, no one is suggesting banning metric units, and in many areas we kept imperial anyway. Pints in pubs, miles and miles per hour on roads (though petrol and diesel is sold in litres) and most people, even young people, will still say they are six foot and twelve stone six rather than 181 cm and 80kg.

This is just giving people the choice what to use.

Because having a bunch of conflicting systems instead of a standard isn't confusing as fark.


If you're confused by buying butter by the kilogram and milk by the pint then maybe you shouldn't be allowed to go shopping on your own? We've used both systems in many areas for decades. If someone asks me my height I say six foot. If they say "No, in cm" I say 183. It's not rocket science.

Many imperial units are just easier to visualise. That's because they evolved over centuries, millennia, based on people actually using them.

/The BBC use "Metric feet" for their studios.
 
2021-09-16 6:36:46 PM  
1 vote:

Carter Pewterschmidt: whidbey: Carter Pewterschmidt: As has been said, no one is suggesting banning metric units, and in many areas we kept imperial anyway. Pints in pubs, miles and miles per hour on roads (though petrol and diesel is sold in litres) and most people, even young people, will still say they are six foot and twelve stone six rather than 181 cm and 80kg.

This is just giving people the choice what to use.

Because having a bunch of conflicting systems instead of a standard isn't confusing as fark.

If you're confused by buying butter by the kilogram and milk by the pint then maybe you shouldn't be allowed to go shopping on your own? We've used both systems in many areas for decades. If someone asks me my height I say six foot. If they say "No, in cm" I say 183. It's not rocket science.


Or you could just concede we need one system so there's no need to use a calculator or online application.

Many imperial units are just easier to visualise. That's because they evolved over centuries, millennia, based on people actually using them.

And also the reason why they are by and large inaccurate and why a modern standard based on science, not tradition, needed to be applied.  Decades ago.

/The BBC use "Metric feet" for their studios.

Honestly, the only reason the entire world isn't metric is because of stubborn conservative oppostion.
 
2021-09-16 7:00:45 PM  
1 vote:

phalamir: Tillmaster: That's complete crap. A stone is 14 lbs.

One particular stone is 14lbs.  But stones for different goods used to be completely different, and could range from 8lbs to 22lbs, depending upon what was being weighed.  14 was for unspun fabric materials, like wool or flax.  But most foodstuffs were 8.  I assume different guilds used different weights as a form of professional control, ie someone not in the know would use the wrong tone to try and weigh goods, thus exposing themselves.  British measurements have always went by the premise of "How much farkwittery can we pile upon more farkwittery just because someone did the thing once three hundred years ago".  That the Jews are associated with a song called "Tradition" when the English exist has to be the most extreme act of blatant misrepresentation possible.


You, sir are a complete pillock; utterly devoid of any sense, but committed to double down whenever found to be wrong. There are several political parties that would be only too happy to welcome you to their ranks.

So which is heavier - an ounce of gold or an ounce of feathers?
 
2021-09-16 7:13:01 PM  
1 vote:
Holy smokes, I had to look this up on other sites, as there was no way this wasn't some sort of strange satire sight.  This doesn't pint a pretty picture.

And I see the usual suspect is here to proclaim how this is such great freedoms.  Yowsah, how lame do you have to be to stoop to the ounces = freedom level?
 
2021-09-16 7:20:33 PM  
1 vote:
ImpendingCynic

Don't forget the groat (4p). Not in circulation but still given out as Maundy money.

Fark user imageView Full Size
Ah, the good ol' days of yore.
 
2021-09-16 7:33:48 PM  
1 vote:

Hawk the Hawk: Holy smokes, I had to look this up on other sites, as there was no way this wasn't some sort of strange satire sight.  This doesn't pint a pretty picture.

And I see the usual suspect is here to proclaim how this is such great freedoms.  Yowsah, how lame do you have to be to stoop to the ounces = freedom level?


How do you defend banning a unit of measurement? You're the one who seems super upset that people are now allowed to use a unit they know and are happy with. You're the one arguing that this is somehow "bad".

Why is me saying "Oh cool" equal to "mah freedumbs!" but you saying this is bad and should not be allowed any better?

I'm not dancing in the street about this, and I doubt many other Brexiteers are either. It's only Remainers who seem awfully triggered. How DARE we make our own laws and let people use units they like!?
 
2021-09-16 7:34:14 PM  
1 vote:

Hawk the Hawk: whidbey: whidbey: /The BBC use "Metric feet" for their studios.

Honestly, the only reason the entire world isn't metric is because of stubborn conservative oppostion.

Is that why decimal time and calendar didn't take off?

Nice history lesson.  Too bad it's just a non-sequitur in this discussion.

It's also incorrect.  The decimal day thing isn't metric.  The SI unit for time is a second.... Got nothing to do with hours or days.

Actually, the 10 hr day thing may have occurred prior to SI becoming a thing.  I'd have to look that up, except I won't, because it doesn't matter either way.


Yes it does.  We're METRIC OPPRESSORS.
 
2021-09-16 9:04:32 PM  
1 vote:

phalamir: Robo Beat: phalamir: I assume de-decimalization will occur next year.

You'll be able to buy a set of Whitworth spanners for ten bob thruppence!  What a bargain!

Yes, but how many guineas for a phaeton-whip?


Why use that when you can convert to balefeet to a hoofwidth?

Hoof width is better because it's just more tangible.  It's the width of a hoof.  You can picture it more easily than a decimeter.
 
2021-09-16 9:48:42 PM  
1 vote:
The UK having a law that you must sell meat in metric was ridiculous anyway. My wife's from an officially "metric" country, T&T, but pretty much everything to do with buying food and cooking is still done in Imperial.
 
2021-09-16 11:27:31 PM  
1 vote:

ISO15693: A fortnight is fourteen-nights.
A thirtnight is thirteen-nights.
A doznight is a dozen nights. (To help distinguish it from Twelfthnight  which is a Shakespearean Play)
Elevnight is eleven nights.
No special words for 2 though 10 except  A week is seven nights - but not called a weeknight because that just means you have to get up early the next morning for work/school, or referring to a very tiny knight.


A week is a sennight. It has a name.
 
2021-09-17 9:27:07 AM  
1 vote:

ISO15693: The correct answer is eight point six megameters.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Displayed 60 of 60 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.