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(ABC News)   Sri Lanka conservationists fight elephant smuggling in court, promise to answer the biggest question in the room   (abcnews.go.com) divider line
    More: Spiffy, Sri Lanka, wild elephants, court order, Buddhism, Elephant, government decree, private owners, Environment activist Sajeewa Chamikara  
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810 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Sep 2021 at 10:20 AM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



31 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-09-16 10:24:16 AM  
Ivoryviewed the evidence carefully.
 
2021-09-16 10:26:08 AM  
Only thing I think of when I hear "elephant in the room":
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-16 10:26:36 AM  
Your mom?
 
2021-09-16 10:29:09 AM  
If it isn't one of those "caught with rare species in the pants" type of stories, I ain't reading.
 
2021-09-16 10:30:18 AM  
If you're going to smuggle why would you pick such a large animal? Almost every other animal would be easier but these geniuses decide to smuggle f*cking elephants
 
2021-09-16 10:30:30 AM  
He was too big, so I sent him back.
 
2021-09-16 10:35:18 AM  
I think the bigger issue are the economic disparities that lead many elephants into a life of smuggling.
 
2021-09-16 10:41:22 AM  
Is that an elephant in your pants or are your testicles swollen, Nicki Minaj's cousin?
 
2021-09-16 11:07:05 AM  
They put them in their pajamas.
How, I don't know.
 
2021-09-16 11:07:14 AM  
Get the COVID shot. Elephantiasis of the balls sir.
 
2021-09-16 11:08:50 AM  
If they regard Elephants as religious icons. Make anyone caught buying their servant. Have them spend years taking care of them.
 
2021-09-16 11:11:10 AM  
My question (obvious):  who smuggles elephants nowadays?

They are nearly obsolete now that we have bulldozers, lumber cutting and stacking machines that can pull the branches off a tree like a child picking a flower and pulling off all the leaves, and so on and so forth.

Some elephants are being taught to beg or to "paint" by their elephant boys so that they both can eat.

Elephants are now just really smart dancing monkeys.

Maybe elephant smugglers are just trying to protect them from ivory poachers. Get the elephants to rich people and they will be protected. And fed.
 
2021-09-16 11:14:03 AM  
Movie pitch

An elephant boy in India or somewhere Americans may have heard of decides to try to save his elephant by smuggling it into the United States.

This turns out to be surprisingly easy.

Once there, the elephant plays Curious George and gets into all kinds of thing, including the Room. It is immediately made President of the United States because it is the smartest person in the Room.

This could really be a movie. It could be the feel-good movie of the year. Let's say 2025.
 
2021-09-16 11:15:49 AM  
I am not married to the USA. Europe or Canada Australia or New Zealand  or the UK would also work, only they probably have lots of elephants by now.

I will entertain offers from joint Canada-UK-France-Australia producers. Heck, New Zealand, call me.
 
2021-09-16 11:16:00 AM  
How does one smuggle an elephant? Where do you hide it?
 
2021-09-16 11:16:34 AM  

woodjf: Get the COVID shot. Elephantiasis of the balls sir.


Can you believe that this is an actual thing? Weird even by Internet standards.
 
2021-09-16 11:16:43 AM  
But there it is.
 
2021-09-16 11:18:13 AM  

MillionDollarMo: He was too big, so I sent him back.


A chance to recall an old poe of mine:

The cow says moo
The duck says quak
The dog said meow
So we sent him back.

There was a Farker called the Dog says Meow about that time. I wonder, but why wonder, it's Fark. Cause and effect are very confusing.
 
2021-09-16 11:18:54 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-16 11:27:16 AM  

pastramithemosterotic: If you're going to smuggle why would you pick such a large animal? Almost every other animal would be easier but these geniuses decide to smuggle f*cking elephants


Because other smaller animals are exactly what the authorities will be looking for!  Obviously!  Nobody is inspecting people's luggage for elephants. So, you can just walk right on in with a couple of pachyderms hidden away.  It's genius!
 
2021-09-16 11:28:31 AM  

brantgoose: Movie pitch

An elephant boy in India or somewhere Americans may have heard of decides to try to save his elephant by smuggling it into the United States.

This turns out to be surprisingly easy.

Once there, the elephant plays Curious George and gets into all kinds of thing, including the Room. It is immediately made President of the United States because it is the smartest person in the Room.

This could really be a movie. It could be the feel-good movie of the year. Let's say 2025.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-16 11:31:12 AM  
Why are the Republicans such assholes?

THIS IS IMPORTANT
 
2021-09-16 11:42:12 AM  
I can't believe I chuckled at that. Good on ye subses.
 
2021-09-16 12:07:55 PM  

Gyrfalcon: How does one smuggle an elephant? Where do you hide it?


In your pajamas, of course.
 
2021-09-16 12:09:22 PM  

Gyrfalcon: How does one smuggle an elephant? Where do you hide it?


Behind the piles of money you throw in the face of the government officials.
 
2021-09-16 12:35:44 PM  

brantgoose: My question (obvious):  who smuggles elephants nowadays?

They are nearly obsolete now that we have bulldozers, lumber cutting and stacking machines that can pull the branches off a tree like a child picking a flower and pulling off all the leaves, and so on and so forth.

Some elephants are being taught to beg or to "paint" by their elephant boys so that they both can eat.

Elephants are now just really smart dancing monkeys.

Maybe elephant smugglers are just trying to protect them from ivory poachers. Get the elephants to rich people and they will be protected. And fed.


Owning elephants shows how wealthy and powerful you are.

So of course the rich and powerful are going to illegally acquire elephants and use their money and power to get the government to let them keep their illegally acquired elephants.
 
2021-09-16 1:10:53 PM  

pastramithemosterotic: If you're going to smuggle why would you pick such a large animal? Almost every other animal would be easier but these geniuses decide to smuggle f*cking elephants


This is why I stick to budgie smuggling.
 
2021-09-16 5:50:26 PM  

Diabolic: brantgoose: Movie pitch

An elephant boy in India or somewhere Americans may have heard of decides to try to save his elephant by smuggling it into the United States.

This turns out to be surprisingly easy.

Once there, the elephant plays Curious George and gets into all kinds of thing, including the Room. It is immediately made President of the United States because it is the smartest person in the Room.

This could really be a movie. It could be the feel-good movie of the year. Let's say 2025.

[Fark user image 542x350]



The universe's largest "alien face-hugger", deformed from birth, tries to fit in.

\don't nuke it from orbit
 
2021-09-16 6:46:31 PM  
People will do anything to show how wealthy they are. And wild life pays the price. We are the bad ones, that's iwhy we are in deep shiat.
 
2021-09-16 8:15:34 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-17 7:42:41 AM  
Sri Lanka Sex Hotel
Youtube S_ggfLEwCYU
 
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