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(Fox News)   Fark favorite MI state rep Jewell "Lamb Chops" Jones arrested for 3rd time on bail violations; this time, charged with having handcuff key taped to bottom of foot   (foxnews.com) divider line
    More: Amusing  
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2194 clicks; posted to Politics » and Main » on 16 Sep 2021 at 2:17 PM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



37 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-09-16 11:55:23 AM  
Who is this woman?

*clinks link*

Huh.
 
2021-09-16 12:12:40 PM  
Taping a handcuff key to your shoe. LOL. Amateur.  https://tihk.co
 
2021-09-16 1:28:15 PM  
Aren't handcuff keys small enough to swallow and pass without much trouble? I mean I hope to never be in a situation where I need to find out but still this seems a bit obvious.
 
2021-09-16 2:21:25 PM  
Funny Story: I spent a few years in prison when I was younger. The only thing they  allowed me to keep was a cross that a friend had given me. I had taken a handcuff key and wrapped it to the cross with the chain I kept it on. I forgot about it, I only remembered years later after I was out and off parole.
 
2021-09-16 2:24:07 PM  
"This guy is a real piece of work, and an embarrassment to all elected officials,..." -- some sheriff

Nonsense, he'll be the keynote for CPAC and go on to clerk for Justice Amy, given her a "man on the street" take on the impact of her recent opinions.
 
2021-09-16 2:24:57 PM  
If you have to worry about being in handcuffs enough to tape a handcuff key to your shoe, maybe just learn to pick a handcuff lock and carry something a bit less conspicuous.
 
2021-09-16 2:25:06 PM  
I just keep one on my keyring.

I'm confused about the charge. It's not a weapon, and while having it might suggest you plan on escaping it I'd hope you have to use it before it becomes attempted escape. Are they Forbidden Objects?
 
2021-09-16 2:34:12 PM  
should have just keestered it.

Keystered it, maybe?  Here all week.
 
2021-09-16 2:34:50 PM  
i.redd.itView Full Size
 
2021-09-16 2:36:24 PM  
Why not use Stargate powers and just phase through the handcuffs like a JEDI?

/Men Who Stare at Goats joke.
/no relation to Star Wars ot Star Gate SG-1
 
2021-09-16 2:40:58 PM  
FTA:

Jones was also ordered to surrender any equipment he would use as a reserve police officer in his district

Fark user imageView Full Size
.
 
2021-09-16 2:43:38 PM  
What kind of man would stair at a goat, they stink!
 
2021-09-16 2:49:22 PM  
Someone needs to sayyyyeeeaaavvvee his soul
 
2021-09-16 2:54:31 PM  

Fly Catcher: What kind of man would stair at a goat, they stink!


Not to mention the hop-ons. You're gonna get some hop-ons.
 
2021-09-16 2:57:15 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Taping a handcuff key to your shoe. LOL. Amateur.  https://tihk.co


That's actually pretty interesting mainly because I thought things like this were illegal. Looks like I'm wrong, though.
 
2021-09-16 3:06:58 PM  

BitwiseShift: "This guy is a real piece of work, and an embarrassment to all elected officials,..." -- some sheriff

Nonsense, he'll be the keynote for CPAC and go on to clerk for Justice Amy, given her a "man on the street" take on the impact of her recent opinions.


He's a Democrat.
 
2021-09-16 3:08:43 PM  
A 26 year old from Inkster? What'd you expect?

Sheee-yat, a 26 year old from anywhere, really...

At least he didn't kill anybody while drunk driving like a certain Kennedy.
 
2021-09-16 3:24:20 PM  

BitwiseShift: "This guy is a real piece of work, and an embarrassment to all elected officials,..." -- some sheriff

Nonsense, he'll be the keynote for CPAC and go on to clerk for Justice Amy, given her a "man on the street" take on the impact of her recent opinions.


Know how I know you didn't read the article?
 
2021-09-16 3:29:45 PM  
Hmm so he was found in a cell with a handcuff key.

Are they investigating which guard gave him the key, or what? Which intake person let him keep it?
 
2021-09-16 3:36:18 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Taping a handcuff key to your shoe. LOL. Amateur.  https://tihk.co


Wow, the EvadeModule would have been a better idea for him. Even comes with lube!
 
2021-09-16 3:41:48 PM  
FTFA: "Murphy said he wasn't sure why Jones had the key on him."

Just going to throw this out there and if I had to guess I would say he had the key on him so he could use it to unlock the handcuffs.  Maybe I'm wrong.
 
2021-09-16 3:43:01 PM  
Huh. I just keep a key in my wallet, on my keyring, and one of those ones that clips inside a belt loop.
 
2021-09-16 3:43:44 PM  

Bennie Crabtree: Hmm so he was found in a cell with a handcuff key.

Are they investigating which guard gave him the key, or what? Which intake person let him keep it?


Pretty sure that a handcuff key isn't going to help open a cell, but I could be wrong.
 
2021-09-16 3:59:32 PM  
I'll wager that there are at least 5 elected people with a handcuff key taped to their foot at this very moment.   Madison Crawford.  Who'd think to check his feet?
 
2021-09-16 4:10:00 PM  

Bennie Crabtree: Hmm so he was found in a cell with a handcuff key.

Are they investigating which guard gave him the key, or what? Which intake person let him keep it?


Tell me you didn't read the article without telling me you didn't read the article.

FTFA: Officers allegedly found the key taped to the bottom of Jones' foot during intake at the Livingston County jail on Tuesday, FOX 2 reported.
 
2021-09-16 4:18:46 PM  
Livingston County, former home of Bob Miles...Lambchop might not make it home.
 
2021-09-16 4:27:47 PM  

PiperArrow: Bennie Crabtree: Hmm so he was found in a cell with a handcuff key.

Are they investigating which guard gave him the key, or what? Which intake person let him keep it?

Tell me you didn't read the article without telling me you didn't read the article.

FTFA: Officers allegedly found the key taped to the bottom of Jones' foot during intake at the Livingston County jail on Tuesday, FOX 2 reported.


Fox torlled me with their headline: found with handcuff key inside jail which I read along with the first paragraph: found with handcuff key inside jail.I freely admit to combining those 2 phrases to mean he was in jail, meaning jailed for a while, when he was discovered to have the key. Not that the key was found during intake, which is a rather inaccurate verion of "inside jail" since he wan't even in his cell yet, ot maybe that he got the key while eating lunch, or whatever else happens "inside jail" intead of during intake. Fox caiught me with their masterful misrepreentation and I am ashamed. :(

Kit Fister: Bennie Crabtree: Hmm so he was found in a cell with a handcuff key.

Are they investigating which guard gave him the key, or what? Which intake person let him keep it?

Pretty sure that a handcuff key isn't going to help open a cell, but I could be wrong.


I bet there are reasons it would be valuable to prisoners. Being able to pop the old Bailey Bracelets off while being moved around the premises would be keen. Or in the wagon back and forth to bail hearings. Etc.
 
2021-09-16 5:39:20 PM  
Don't they take the handcuffs off of you when you're in a cell anyway?
 
2021-09-16 6:03:02 PM  

Alphager: Prank Call of Cthulhu: Taping a handcuff key to your shoe. LOL. Amateur.  https://tihk.co

Wow, the EvadeModule would have been a better idea for him. Even comes with lube!


20 minutes later...OUT OF STOCK

Damn, FARK.
 
2021-09-16 7:15:31 PM  

msrbley: FTFA: "Murphy said he wasn't sure why Jones had the key on him."

Just going to throw this out there and if I had to guess I would say he had the key on him so he could use it to unlock the handcuffs.  Maybe I'm wrong.


make

Harry Freakstorm: I'll wager that there are at least 5 elected people with a handcuff key taped to their foot at this very moment.   Madison Crawford.  Who'd think to check his feet?


The thought of him hoisting a leg up, taking the key off, and making a shiv, then using the shiv, then trying to hot wheels off provided me a chuckle.
 
2021-09-16 7:43:02 PM  
With all of his name-dropping of "Big Gretch," I bet he's shocked she hasn't pardoned him.
 
2021-09-16 8:30:47 PM  

LaViergeNoire: With all of his name-dropping of "Big Gretch," I bet he's shocked she hasn't pardoned him.


It's every woman's dream to be called "Big Gretch."

If you ever want to ask a woman out, calling her Big Gretch is a real panty dropper.
 
BBH
2021-09-16 9:41:54 PM  
Tale of Two States:

One state you drink and drive and cause a collision, you get charged. In another state, run over someone and the sheriff gives you his car to drive home.
 
2021-09-17 12:35:12 AM  
Kick his drunk ass out of office!
 
2021-09-17 6:52:36 AM  
So, this guy is still a representative?  I don't understand the mindset when someone clearly does something illegal that they aren't removed.  Not sure how MI goes about removing someone though.
 
2021-09-17 7:42:29 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Taping a handcuff key to your shoe. LOL. Amateur.  https://tihk.co


https://tihk.co/products/evademodule

Convenient shape and comes with lube...
//Not kidding
 
2021-09-17 10:31:35 AM  
"You know what? Big Gretch is the homie"

"You know what? Big Gretch is the homie"

"You know what? Big Gretch is the homie"

"You know what? Big Gretch is the homie"

"You know what? Big Gretch is the homie"

"YOU KNOW WHAT?  BIG GRETCH IS THE HOMIE"


"YOU KNOW WHAT?  BIG GRETCH IS THE HOMIE"
 
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