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(KFOR Oklahoma City)   Sometimes you can't out-Oklahoma the original headline: 'Oklahoma City man allegedly defecates in metro grocery store freezer, woman accidentally puts hand in it while reaching for groceries covering it'   (kfor.com) divider line
    More: Sick, Oklahoma, Grocery store, Shirley Wright-Johnson, OKLAHOMA CITY, bag of pizza rolls, Feces, grocery store freezer Sunday night, Wright-Johnson  
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1352 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Sep 2021 at 10:35 AM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



55 Comments     (+0 »)
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2021-09-15 9:36:37 AM  
All that ivermectin giving idiots the trots
 
2021-09-15 10:18:40 AM  
It's one thing to drop a load in the freezer but to do it on the pizza rolls is inhuman.
 
2021-09-15 10:37:46 AM  
What.
 
2021-09-15 10:37:49 AM  
Wouldn't she have allegedly put her hand in it until the defecation is confirmed?
 
2021-09-15 10:37:49 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-15 10:38:01 AM  
What the fark kind of security camera are they using?
 
2021-09-15 10:38:02 AM  
The.
 
2021-09-15 10:38:18 AM  
F*ck.
 
2021-09-15 10:39:11 AM  
zomg she touched my poo!

*wack wack wack*


/bleah
 
2021-09-15 10:41:34 AM  

UberDave: It's one thing to drop a load in the freezer but to do it on the pizza rolls is inhuman.


No, that's a perfectly appropriate place to do it. The premium ice cream, that's life in GitMo.
 
2021-09-15 10:41:37 AM  
Is that Godfrey?
 
2021-09-15 10:42:02 AM  
Well, at least he didn't do it on the hot 'n ready foods.
 
2021-09-15 10:45:26 AM  
Allegedly???

Was the lady's hand covered in dookie or not? This seems like a pretty simple thing to figure out...
 
2021-09-15 10:45:28 AM  

MillionDollarMo: Well, at least he didn't do it on the hot 'n ready foods.


Are you sure? Or just full
 
2021-09-15 10:45:40 AM  
Its Oklahoma.
They probably think sh*t germs are a hoax invented by Joe Biden.
 
2021-09-15 10:46:32 AM  
In Oklahoma its OK to doo that.
 
2021-09-15 10:46:41 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: What the fark kind of security camera are they using?


lh5.googleusercontent.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-15 10:48:03 AM  
Went in for pizza rolls, came out with doo-doo butter. That's not even right.
 
2021-09-15 10:49:16 AM  
It ain't cool to shiat in a cooler.
 
2021-09-15 10:49:59 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-15 10:50:25 AM  

turboke: Wouldn't she have allegedly put her hand in it until the defecation is confirmed?


The alleged part is whether an Oklahoma man did this; for all we know, she's just terrible at wiping.

Or an Oklahoma bear snuck into the freezer section.

Or it was a Texas man.

Or a Texas bear.

Could be anything, really - but, what isn't alleged is that she really ended up with a dooky-paw.,
 
2021-09-15 10:50:47 AM  

kbronsito: It ain't cool to shiat in a cooler.


The man had no chill.
 
2021-09-15 10:52:18 AM  

Por que tan serioso: What.


Por que tan serioso: The.


Por que tan serioso: F*ck.


Yeah, I'm staying inside this year. Away from folks like this. Heck, I'm rooting for COVID-19 to continue into 2022, just so I look normal when I elect to stay inside next year, too.
 
2021-09-15 10:52:35 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: What the fark kind of security camera are they using?


upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size

I'm assuming it outputs to a single VCR, but only sometimes.

/shiat, that stuff's so old I can't even find good stock of a 2x2 carousel feed on a CRT, but I swear that's where a feed like that belongs.
 
2021-09-15 10:54:00 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-15 10:56:34 AM  
Good Lord. What the hell is wrong with him?
 
2021-09-15 10:59:42 AM  
I'm gonna put on my Sherlock hat and say this is an ex-employee.
 
2021-09-15 11:04:02 AM  
Thats some foul smelling poo if you used bleach and disinfectant and you can still smell it. Well that or you are being overly dramatic for your 15 min of "fame".
 
2021-09-15 11:05:09 AM  
This feels more like Florida Man visits Oklahoma.
 
2021-09-15 11:05:25 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Expecting rocks?
 
2021-09-15 11:06:39 AM  

UberDave: It's one thing to drop a load in the freezer but to do it on the pizza rolls is inhuman.


Yeah, usually with pizza rolls the shait's in the bag.
 
2021-09-15 11:08:43 AM  
So now they have Chicago style pizza, yeah
 
2021-09-15 11:12:28 AM  

REDARMYVODKA: Allegedly???

Was the lady's hand covered in dookie or not? This seems like a pretty simple thing to figure out...


Does it taste like dookie, Ma'am?
 
2021-09-15 11:12:52 AM  

Smelly Pirate Hooker: I'm gonna put on my Sherlock hat and say this is an ex-employee.


shiat, Sherlock!
 
2021-09-15 11:13:35 AM  
That's what the kids nowadays call a Hot Pocket.
 
2021-09-15 11:15:18 AM  

Solty Dog: That's what the kids nowadays call a Hot Pocket.


Thank you, Ice-T
 
2021-09-15 11:25:04 AM  
I'd expect something like this to happen in San Francisco, but never Oklahoma.  Must be one of those Facebook tech dudes who is now working remote from Oklahoma.
 
2021-09-15 11:31:39 AM  
"I grabbed the bag, I felt something smushy on the bag, so I turned it over and there it was," she said.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-15 11:34:57 AM  

Zero Point Scalar Field: "I grabbed the bag, I felt something smushy on the bag, so I turned it over and there it was," she said. [Fark user image image 250x276]


So you're in Oklahoma, is that a crime scene photo?
 
2021-09-15 11:38:49 AM  

jim32rr: Zero Point Scalar Field: "I grabbed the bag, I felt something smushy on the bag, so I turned it over and there it was," she said. [Fark user image image 250x276]

So you're in Oklahoma, is that a crime scene photo?


Haha. I was trying to think of an extra line to go along with that picture. "Crime scene photo" is perfect.
 
2021-09-15 11:52:22 AM  
The act is alleged. The poo is evidence.
 
2021-09-15 11:55:08 AM  

EL EM: The act is alleged. The poo is evidence.


If it isn't shiat, you must aquit.
 
2021-09-15 11:58:54 AM  
It was still squishy.  Inside a freezer.  He must have barely finished the deed.

Good thing he was careful.  Imagine if he'd gotten too close to a rack.  Could have had a conundrum on top of a piledriver...
 
2021-09-15 12:06:04 PM  

Smelly Pirate Hooker: I'm gonna put on my Sherlock hat and say this is an ex-employee.


Careful...that hat might have poop in it.
 
2021-09-15 12:39:11 PM  
Still better than farking a dead dog in front of a daycare.
 
2021-09-15 12:47:52 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: What the fark kind of security camera are they using?


Probably an ordinary camera.  It isn't CSI, when you enlarge an image the quality suffers.  That's the normal result of blowing up a small part of the original frame.
 
2021-09-15 12:48:19 PM  

Salmon: Still better than farking a dead dog in front of a daycare.


Take it easy on yourself, your crimes will improve
 
2021-09-15 1:01:02 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: What the fark kind of security camera are they using?


I know a business that installed fake security cameras to dissuade shoplifting, then camouflaged them so they were difficult to notice.
 
2021-09-15 1:26:35 PM  
"New from Swanson's?" This is the same old shiat!
 
2021-09-15 1:50:08 PM  
An Oklahoma Cooler is almost like a Cleveland Steamer, except colder.
 
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