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(North Country Now)   Santa charged with third-degree patronizing prostitution and two counts of endangering the welfare of a child   (northcountrynow.com) divider line
    More: Creepy, St. Regis Falls, Saint Regis, Human sexual behavior, Regis, sexual contact, Sexual intercourse, Jodie Foster  
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2218 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Sep 2021 at 3:30 AM (12 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



26 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-09-15 3:43:38 AM  
Ho ho ho
 
dp3 [OhFark]
2021-09-15 3:45:13 AM  

TuckFrump: Ho ho ho


HO HO NOOOO*
 
2021-09-15 3:50:03 AM  
I taught my kids that Santa runs his workshop off a biomass reactor fueled by elves who can no longer meet their quota.
 
2021-09-15 3:50:28 AM  
It's been done.

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2021-09-15 3:58:27 AM  
The Santa I thought of  
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2021-09-15 4:01:23 AM  
Kid: "Hey, old man, get your Santa claws offa me!"
 
2021-09-15 4:04:57 AM  
'Third-degree patronizing prostitution'. What's that, a hand job?
 
2021-09-15 4:05:30 AM  
Time was being told that Santa opened his sack for kids would've been heartwarming.
 
2021-09-15 4:17:21 AM  

thepeterd: 'Third-degree patronizing prostitution'. What's that, a hand job?


I think that's when one person gives another a hand job, but there's a third person grabbing the arm and moving it up and down.
 
2021-09-15 4:23:56 AM  
I'm not sure which is worse, patronizing prostitution or condescending prostitution.
 
2021-09-15 4:25:50 AM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-15 4:30:16 AM  
Can you blame him? He only comes once a year
 
2021-09-15 4:39:20 AM  

Cormee: Can you blame him? He only comes once a year


But when he does he empties his sack and fills your stockings?

/seriously, lock this guy up
//Santa, not you, obvs
 
2021-09-15 4:52:17 AM  
The guy's name is actually, "Santa". I was thinking, "If a guy is walking around dressed as Santa in the
Middle of September, it's a good idea to keep your distance."
 
2021-09-15 5:06:33 AM  

Ragin' Asian: The guy's name is actually, "Santa". I was thinking, "If a guy is walking around dressed as Santa in the
Middle of September, it's a good idea to keep your distance."


Is the end of October OK?

The best Halloween costume idea I ever had was a Santa suit.

(Well, the actual idea was Hannibal Smith in a Santa suit -- I had a panatela in my teeth and a mock M-16 slung over my shoulder.  I thought it was brilliant.  It was, but not for the reasons I thought.)

I discovered that teenage girls don't know about the A-Team.

They all wanted to sit on my lap.

mrs bughunter was not amused by their enthusiasm.  Nor mine.

/the suit must've been last worn by Billy Bob Thornton
//that beard reeked of vomit
 
2021-09-15 5:15:29 AM  

bughunter: Ragin' Asian: The guy's name is actually, "Santa". I was thinking, "If a guy is walking around dressed as Santa in the
Middle of September, it's a good idea to keep your distance."

Is the end of October OK?

The best Halloween costume idea I ever had was a Santa suit.


He knocked on doors and asked people for venison instead of candy.

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2021-09-15 6:23:19 AM  

TuckFrump: Ho ho ho


Where's my HOs at?
 
2021-09-15 6:46:57 AM  
Santa, how could you. It's interesting to find how they spend that donation money.
 
2021-09-15 7:30:42 AM  

Ragin' Asian: The guy's name is actually, "Santa". I was thinking, "If a guy is walking around dressed as Santa in the
Middle of September, it's a good idea to keep your distance."


My grandfather was a department store Santa for years. He was an asshole that said horrible things to me, my cousins and pretty much anyone else. As an adult I've wondered if the Santa gig was an attempt at atonement because he knew he was an asshole--or if the gig was a means to do more horrible things. There's a picture of me on his lap at 3 or 4-yrs-old screaming in terror. Many families have such pictures. But in my case I have to wonder if I was frightened of a stranger in weird clothes or if it was because I recognized him.

(It was kind of funny when the cousins and I put it together that Grandpa was a Santa. We were suspicious because there would be several lines to see Santa that we recognized there was really more than one of them at the store, our mothers were more anxious about the visit than we were--and would always have to have a secret conference with the elves after which they would put us in one of the longest lines. That wasn't their normal MO.)
 
2021-09-15 8:11:12 AM  
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"You stink. You smell like beef and cheese!
 
2021-09-15 9:04:43 AM  
So the oil company guys who answered fake ads for escorts get charged with human trafficking...and this guy who actually prepositioned a teen gets off with third degree patronizing prostitution and endangerment of a child? And released on his own recognizance?
 
2021-09-15 9:16:11 AM  
FTR, not condoning escorts nor have much love for oil companies, just that unfairness ticks me off.

/oh, and IIRC, those guys were fired
 
2021-09-15 10:03:47 AM  
13 or 19?
 
2021-09-15 12:10:07 PM  
So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true.
So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ
is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole
with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something
resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?"
 
2021-09-16 3:04:13 PM  

Resident Muslim: So the oil company guys who answered fake ads for escorts get charged with human trafficking...and this guy who actually prepositioned a teen gets off with third degree patronizing prostitution and endangerment of a child? And released on his own recognizance?


So was he on her, under her, on top of her, in her, or just around her, close to her?
 
2021-09-16 3:55:51 PM  

dbirchall: Resident Muslim: So the oil company guys who answered fake ads for escorts get charged with human trafficking...and this guy who actually prepositioned a teen gets off with third degree patronizing prostitution and endangerment of a child? And released on his own recognizance?

So was he on her, under her, on top of her, in her, or just around her, close to her?


The funny thing is that I actually did a search on the word and got some confusing links.
Then wrote "sexual preposition" and found a bunch of links, so felt safe to post.
Apparently it did not mean what I thought it meant.

/I will not keep using that word.
 
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