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(Digg)   How I found out I was old. It will happen to you, too. Bonus: linking to a Digg article about a Reddit thread   (digg.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, The Met, Joke, AARP, Conan O'Brien, Metropolitan Museum of Art, Monday, NBC, The Norm Show  
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600 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 14 Sep 2021 at 3:50 PM (5 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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5 days ago  
I realized I was old when I was reading a Reddit thread on Digg from Fark.
 
5 days ago  

TelemonianAjax: I realized I was old when I was reading a Reddit thread on Digg from Fark.


Let's post to slashdot.
 
5 days ago  
Stupid RealPlayer keeps buffering buffering. I can't wait to switch to Flash.

Ha! All your base are belong to us!
 
5 days ago  
When kids beat you at video games you used to dominate.

/And then you shoot the TV to assert dominance.
 
5 days ago  
Did something on accident.  ON F'G accident?!?!?!?

It's BY accident you mother loving, window licking crayon eaters!  Go back to farking your cousins you poster child for condom use.
 
5 days ago  

enry: TelemonianAjax: I realized I was old when I was reading a Reddit thread on Digg from Fark.

Let's post to slashdot.


I remember being annoyed at how bad /. was compared to a good threaded USENET newsreader like trn

/Only have a 5 digit /. ID because I couldn't be bothered with something that bad.
 
5 days ago  
Just ask yourself what was the first movie you remember seeing in theaters as a kid
 
5 days ago  
I tend to forget
 
5 days ago  
I went to see Elvis Costello in NYC a few years ago. We're waiting in the lobby and my wife looks around and says the crowd looks like we're attending a public radio fundraising event.

/khaki pants everywhere.
//he still rocked.
 
5 days ago  
For me it was when the new guy at work was the same age as my granddaughter.
I had gotten used to being the same age as my coworkers moms but this is really too much.

/lord I need to retire
 
5 days ago  
Being rejected in my late-twenties because "there must be something wrong with you - how can you get to that age without having any sexual experience..?"

Followed up by being rejected in my mid-thirties because "there must be something wrong with you - how can you get to that age without having a serious relationship..?"

/ And my therapist wonders why I'm disassociated from my emotions...
 
5 days ago  
I'm so old I won't bother reading this until it shows up on Angelfire
 
5 days ago  
Seriously though I think it was when I realized sex was no longer a dominant driving force in my life
 
5 days ago  
I knew I was old when I started REALLY appreciating a nap.
Not just the quick 10 - 30 min battery topper charge.
But a real, kick back on the hammock and wake up three hours later kinda nap.

GET OFF MY LAWN!
 
5 days ago  
Do you remember the first time you were angry at a cloud?
 
5 days ago  
I still remember when I was 21 and saw a centerfold that had just turned 18. They had always been these mythical "older" women.
 
5 days ago  

Glockenspiel Hero: enry: TelemonianAjax: I realized I was old when I was reading a Reddit thread on Digg from Fark.

Let's post to slashdot.

I remember being annoyed at how bad /. was compared to a good threaded USENET newsreader like trn

/Only have a 5 digit /. ID because I couldn't be bothered with something that bad.


Alt.binairies.nospam.fark.fark
 
5 days ago  
It was several years ago, when i realized that people born in a year starting with a "2" could get a driver's license.
 
5 days ago  
My dad said it was when you realized how young the cops are.

The first time for me was when I had to get one of those pill organizers with the days of the week on them, but then I remembered that little kids get sick.

But as soon as I instinctively put my glasses on my head so I could read something I knew I was getting old.
 
5 days ago  
When I didn't give a sh*t about these "feeling old" things.  Which must have happened around age 14.
 
5 days ago  
There's knowing you're old, and then there's knowing you're old.

Knowing "Oh, I'm twice as old as college freshmen" is hard. Even if you didn't go to it, seeing your 20-year highschool reunion definitely tells you you're old. The fact that some of the people you knew in high school have adult children now is even more overt.

But in order to really hurt, the reminder has to have a hook - a strong sensory/emotional association that just whacks you in the head out of nowhere.

Like, you were having a decent day, and were feeling okay about life, but now you're stuck in traffic listening to the radio. And all of a sudden that stupid Howie Day "Collide" song comes on as you're flipping stations. It's not that it was ever a great song, but all of a sudden, you're right back there in your junior year of college. You've been going out with this young woman, and her program is having a formal, so despite your protestations that it's stupid, she twists your arm and convinces you to come. You're skeptical, but then when you come to pick her up, she's wearing form-fitting navy dress with a sash that knocks the wind out of you. She attempted to cook you dinner before the dance, and although she added way too much mint to the couscous, you dutifully eat every bite.

You sneak a few drinks beforehand a go to the party. Her friends are there and you don't know anyone well, so you spend most of the first hour doing an awkward two-step and as the two of your dance between clumps of people. Then, that stupid farking song comes on, the DJ declares a slow dance, and she does not let you sit it out, but grabs you and melts into you, awkwardly at first, but then completely earnestly. It's been 20 years, and you can still smell whatever she was wearing in her hair that night as she buries her face in your chest. Within minutes, you've fled the party. She goes back to your place, because your roommates are out of town. For the first time in your life, you have sex that could actually be described as "making love," even though you would have denied it at the time.

In the morning, she wakes up, rolls over, looks directly in your eyes, and smiles, as sunbeams dance over the bare white walls. Involuntarily, you think to yourself, "When I die, this is the memory that I want to flash before my eyes right before it all goes black."

And then, in the honking parking lot on I-93 north, as you're contemplating the dramatic demise of that relationship six months after that memory was made, it hits you: If the condom had broken that night, you'd have a college-aged kid who'd be making fun of you for your music choices right now, like you once did to your dad when a Billy Joel song came on the radio and he got all distant.

/ Could be worse; for some of you the condom did break
 
5 days ago  
Having to buy reading glasses.
 
5 days ago  

bingethinker: It was several years ago, when i realized that people born in a year starting with a "2" could get a driver's license.


People born in a year starting with a "2" can legally buy booze.
 
5 days ago  

Farkn Yaj Yenrac: bingethinker: It was several years ago, when i realized that people born in a year starting with a "2" could get a driver's license.

People born in a year starting with a "2" can legally buy booze.


So I'm five years ahead of you.
 
5 days ago  

Slypork: I still remember when I was 21 and saw a centerfold that had just turned 18. They had always been these mythical "older" women.


I was surfing MILF porn at some point and they all looked too young.  I swear when I was consuming porn illegally they were all in their late 30's and early 40's but now they're the women in their late 20's.  Whether the porn industry or my eye for aging changed I don't know.
 
5 days ago  
Finally admitting I need to wear readers.
Or when my farts started smelling like my dad's.
 
5 days ago  
I've worked at a K-8 school for the last 13 years, so every day is a reminder of how old I am.

/this year's Kindergarten is the class of 2030
 
5 days ago  
For me the first feeling old was realizing I could remember my father being the age I was then.

/I was in my 30s
//My folks started young
 
5 days ago  
I used to wonder why Farkers would so easily misread words in headlines (i.e., "read that as..." and not just when it's funny). It used to never happen to me, now it happens periodically, I'm assuming it's an age thing.
 
5 days ago  

Glockenspiel Hero: enry: TelemonianAjax: I realized I was old when I was reading a Reddit thread on Digg from Fark.

Let's post to slashdot.

I remember being annoyed at how bad /. was compared to a good threaded USENET newsreader like trn

/Only have a 5 digit /. ID because I couldn't be bothered with something that bad.


I used it before they had registration and have a mid-three digit UID.  I stopped going there probably mid 2000s.  About the same time I found Fark.  Coincidence?
 
5 days ago  

mcmnky: For me the first feeling old was realizing I could remember my father being the age I was then.

/I was in my 30s
//My folks started young


I got curious earlier this year and discovered that, this past April 14th, I was the exact same age, to the day, that my dad was on the day that I was born. Definitely a sobering thought.
 
5 days ago  
i sat on my nuts within s few days of turning 40.   that was a decade ago.

my high school gf is a grandmother and my oldest friend from childhood is a grandfather.
 
5 days ago  
i was at the grocery a few weeks ago and the kid at the checkout asked me if i was eligible for the 55+ senior discount

i pretty much already knew i was old but that one really kinda drove it home

/only 48
 
5 days ago  
Martian_Astronomer:

(Nods slowly)
Naked Eye, by Luscious Jackson

/Condom broke
//found our last year I was a grandpa at 39
//young uns: freeze some sperm at 20 and get it snipped.
 
5 days ago  
Working at a university, I declared myself old when the majority of first-year admits were born after I was admitted.
 
5 days ago  

Enigmamf: Working at a university, I declared myself old when the majority of first-year admits were born after I was admitted.


Yeah that's sort of it for me too.  When I can reference the fact I have kids in college myself to explain to my students why things work in certain ways from the parent perspective rather than as professor.
 
5 days ago  

Wasilla Hillbilly: Do you remember the first time you were angry at a cloud?


I work in IT, I yell at the cloud and it's users on a daily basis and have for years.
 
5 days ago  
When the hairstylist, unasked, took the clippers to my ears.
 
5 days ago  
Probably when I saw my muscles disappearing despite my usual activity. The first signs of skin sagging.
 
5 days ago  
I felt old when both parents retired.  I was in my 40s.

Last week someone died, I don't remember who, but I thought "damn, that guy died young".  He was 71.

Mom died in '14, dad in '17.  I'm 63 now.
 
5 days ago  
Oldies stations playing MY music.

Naps.

Bifocals.

Everyone under 30 looks so damn young.

Not recognizing any of the celebrities on a magazine/awards show/whatever.

Celebrities I grew up with dying off.

Aches and pains that I didn't use to have or take longer to recover from.

Medical checkups for things I didn't used to worry about.


The real kick in the pants was getting mail from AARP. Man they didn't waste any time either. I got that bit of mail the day after I was eligible. F*ck you guys very much for the reminder!
 
5 days ago  
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size

When you realize this is true
 
5 days ago  
Having an early-onset debilitating condition can help bypass the existential angst of aging.
 
5 days ago  
I was renewing my passport and I put brown in the hair color section. Mrs Fan says "honey, that's a lie, your hair is mostly gray".
 
5 days ago  
I was about 45 when someone gave me an unsolicited senior discount on the restaurant check.  I think I just needed more sleep.
 
5 days ago  
When I went into the neighborhood liquor store and the cashier was my friend's son who, as a teenager, used to steal beer from us at parties.
 
5 days ago  
It was a while ago when I realized that someone half my age was no longer jail bait.

Now the half my age plus seven ladies are in their 30s.

/not that I have any interest in jail baitish aged girls mind you, it was just the 'damn you're old' thought
 
5 days ago  
My first set of progressive lenses.

Also, being unable to get a new job.
 
5 days ago  
I looked at my old skateboard and realized I'd never ride it again. Sigh...
 
5 days ago  

enry: TelemonianAjax: I realized I was old when I was reading a Reddit thread on Digg from Fark.

Let's post to slashdot.


entangled.systemsView Full Size
 
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