Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(BBC)   Rough guide to visiting the Netherlands - obey local customs, respect the locals, try to speak in the native tongue, but above all, try not to look like Sicilian crime lord Matteo Messina Denaro   (bbc.co.uk) divider line
    More: Silly, Matteo Messina Denaro, Bernardo Provenzano, Domenico Raccuglia, Mafia, Salvatore Lo Piccolo, 54-year-old, Mark L, Police  
•       •       •

2415 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Sep 2021 at 6:09 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2021-09-14 6:22:03 PM  
15 votes:
cinemashame.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-14 6:29:35 PM  
7 votes:

BigNumber12: Hollywood Mafia boss:

[Fark user image image 400x400]

Real Life capo di tutti capi:

[Fark user image image 299x323]


"Would you like to touch my monkey?"
 
2021-09-14 6:57:04 PM  
6 votes:

DerAppie: Oneiros: 'Dag' with a *really* hard G is sorta like 'aloha' as it's both hello and goodbye.

Technically true, nobody I know does it though. Be prepared to get some strange looks when greeting someone with "dag."


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-14 6:26:06 PM  
5 votes:
Hollywood Mafia boss:

Fark user imageView Full Size


Real Life capo di tutti capi:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-14 6:19:11 PM  
4 votes:
i.ytimg.comView Full Size


/can speak from experience.
 
2021-09-14 10:32:09 PM  
3 votes:

Oneiros: And some Australian show with a kangaroo

Skippy the Bush Kangaroo - The Paws Have It
Youtube 9q7fzc2QgHU

 
2021-09-14 7:59:03 PM  
3 votes:

HighlanderRPI: Also, while you are there, be sure to try the rudders


Inkoppertje
 
2021-09-14 6:21:37 PM  
3 votes:

behanger: The native tongue? Really? The main reason it so hard to learn Dutch is that when an accent is detected, the locals switch to English immediately.

Well, to be fair, they'll speak Dunglish to you. You see our Englisch is not perfect, but it comes in the neighborhood.


Sounds like my friends with Chinese.  They spent a year diligently trying to learn what they could for a short visit to China.  Ended up that as soon as they approached someone, the person lit up like a Christmas tree and wanted to practice their Chinglish on them.  They used more Chinese with their teacher in the US than they did in China.
 
2021-09-15 2:43:34 AM  
2 votes:

johnphantom: FrancoFile: Oneiros: DerAppie: Oneiros: 'Dag' with a *really* hard G is sorta like 'aloha' as it's both hello and goodbye.

Technically true, nobody I know does it though. Be prepared to get some strange looks when greeting someone with "dag."

I seem to recall they had us pegged as Americans by our shoes well before we had actually said anything, so they usually said 'hello' before you had any chance to even get a word of Dutch in

/only exposure to Dutch in the last 35 years is those 'Ik spreek...' incidents I hinted at, and watching 'Professor T'
//but I also used to work in a cubicle farm with Germans who worked for ESA
///didn't bother telling them that I could understand part of what they were saying until the week before one of them left

My cab driver at Schiphol did that.  I don't think he even saw my shoes, as all I had was a shoulder bag and he didn't get out of the car.

I learned a couple Dutch sayings for a trip to Europe in 2005 with my brother, cousin and cousin's best friend. While in Amsterdam I told them all "badunkadunk" means "hello" in Dutch. Really had them going. Should I tell you about how I sound just like my brother and occasionally would subvert his directions with a "Go left" to my cousin who liked to walk way ahead of us 3? I got him lost a couple times.


My favorite thing to teach people is "Ik heet DerAppie, hoe heet ben jij"? which means "my name is DerAppie, what is your name?"

/But really means "My name is DerAppie, how hot are you?"
 
2021-09-14 7:00:59 PM  
2 votes:

BigNumber12: Hollywood Mafia boss:

[Fark user image image 400x400]

Real Life capo di tutti capi:

[Fark user image image 299x323]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-14 6:52:30 PM  
2 votes:
He should get a t-shirt that says "Non sono Denaro"
 
2021-09-14 6:30:30 PM  
2 votes:

johnphantom: BigNumber12: Hollywood Mafia boss:

[Fark user image 400x400]

Real Life capo di tutti capi:

[Fark user image 299x323]

Yeah but those eyes with the expressionless face. Speaks of a murderer to me.


i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-14 6:21:46 PM  
2 votes:
'Dag' with a *really* hard G is sorta like 'aloha' as it's both hello and goodbye.

Other useful phrases are 'Ik spreek geen Nederlands' (I don't speak Dutch) and 'verdomme' (damn it)

If you pronounce 'ik spreek een klein beetje nederlands' (I speak a little bit of Dutch) too well, they'll assume you're being modest and respond in full speed Dutch, even if it's just one of the few phrases that you remember from living there 30+ years ago.

/military brat
 
2021-09-14 6:17:00 PM  
2 votes:
The native tongue? Really? The main reason it so hard to learn Dutch is that when an accent is detected, the locals switch to English immediately.

Well, to be fair, they'll speak Dunglish to you. You see our Englisch is not perfect, but it comes in the neighborhood.
 
2021-09-14 10:00:19 PM  
1 vote:
When I was a kid back in the 80's some Karen lost their shiat and caused all kinds of chaos because they swore up and down that Muammar Gaddafi was eating lunch at the local Sambo's.  Police arrived en-masse, along with what passed for SWAT back then, and news choppers... the works.  It was a shiatshow.

I mean, I was a child... and as my friends and I sat on our BMX bikes and watched the circus unfold in front of us I couldn't help but think the odds of Muammar Gaddafi dipping out of Libya to scoot over to the US on a private jet for some food from a mediocre diner in a shiathole town were way down there around zero.

But all the adults involved sure seemed to forego any common sense and consider the hot tip legit.
 
2021-09-14 8:35:48 PM  
1 vote:

BigNumber12: Hollywood Mafia boss:

[Fark user image 400x400]

Real Life capo di tutti capi:

[Fark user image 299x323]


Looks like a German, TV show host.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-14 6:58:26 PM  
1 vote:

woodjf: [Fark user image image 425x318]


Is that the guy from league of gentlemen?

vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2021-09-14 6:57:38 PM  
1 vote:
Have they checked the Italian Parliament?
 
zez
2021-09-14 6:54:49 PM  
1 vote:
"His lawyer Leon van Kleef"

i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-14 6:47:35 PM  
1 vote:
Who won the race?
 
2021-09-14 6:47:28 PM  
1 vote:

nytmare: The real mafioso hasn't been seen in 28 years? You're going to need more evidence than "the way he looks now is similar to how the other guy looked 3 decades ago".

Also he's probably hanging out in 'Argentina' with Hoffa and Hitler.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-14 6:39:46 PM  
1 vote:
NOW you tell me.
 
2021-09-14 6:39:12 PM  
1 vote:

Fano: johnphantom: BigNumber12: Hollywood Mafia boss:

[Fark user image 400x400]

Real Life capo di tutti capi:

[Fark user image 299x323]

Yeah but those eyes with the expressionless face. Speaks of a murderer to me.

[i.imgur.com image 480x262]


The look isn't the same. I can tell the difference between an actor and someone who isn't acting it, with the 3 pictures of him:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Displayed 23 of 23 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.