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(Marketwatch)   I got a 30% raise but my girlfriend is struggling financially. I want a new car. What was the question, again?   (marketwatch.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Debt, Want, Investment, part time, own business, result of the work, business ventures, ethical questions  
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269 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 14 Sep 2021 at 10:35 AM (5 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



28 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
5 days ago  
Get the new car and brag every time you see your GF.  In a few days you'll be single again and won't have to worry about her financial situation.
 
5 days ago  
One would think that a site called 'marketwatch' would recommend keeping the old car if it's still reliable & for the first year putting the entire 30% right into an index fund or something similar.  Go talk to HR & have them send the money directly to Fidelity or whoever so that way you never see it/touch it & get tempted to justify 'well, just this once...'.  A couple years of that & you could just buy the new car for cash (or just keep letting it grow with any gains reinvested and reasonably soon have a nice stream of passive income coming in).

Otherwise people have this incredible ability to allow their expenses to rise to the new income level & not save anything.
 
5 days ago  
Save the money or buy the car.
 
5 days ago  
"She's been trying to find her path, working part time, and trying to start her own business, but she doesn't have her nose to the grindstone the way I'd expect. Which admittedly is another issue.

...

I feel weird splurging on something fun like this for myself when she is sometimes stressed about money.
But I feel like it's a result of the work we both put into our careers. "


If the car is something you really want out of life - not just something you think you deserve for being awesome but otherwise don't care about - buy it. But explaining to your girlfriend that you deserve it because you work hard and she doesn't because she's lazy really isn't going to fly in any possible universe.

Whether she actually is lazy or works hard and this guy doesn't see it because he's a psychopath, I'm not sure what positive result he's expecting here.
 
5 days ago  
Bury the survivors.
 
5 days ago  
His finances are none of her business.  When did people start equating girlfriends with wives?
 
5 days ago  
F*ck her dad.
 
5 days ago  
Save your money until you NEED a new car.
 
5 days ago  

Joe Stapler: His finances are none of her business.  When did people start equating girlfriends with wives?


And vice versa. HE is the one biatching about HER.
 
5 days ago  
Does she do butt stuff? Does the car?
 
5 days ago  
the girl or the car?   ISN'T THAT A GREAT CAR?

rennlist.comView Full Size


Cole =/= Kent
 
5 days ago  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
5 days ago  
Kinda surprised with the advice he received, given it's Marketwatch.

With some rare exceptions, cars are not a good investment.  From a pure money stand point, you're better off only having the number of cars you need.  Most have other financial priorities that should probably take precedent.  For instance retirement saving, paying off a home, and other forms of wealth building.  Cars are money pits.

That said, if you're going to buy a vanity car, you could do worse than a Miata.  They're not crazy expensive (particularly used) and they are pretty reliable and easy to fix.
 
5 days ago  
Explain to her how much more proud she will be giving road head in a Miata
 
5 days ago  
So just to review -

-He got a hefty salary increase with a new job (we can only speculate on how much 30% is in terms of dollars, but it's fair to say it's five figures (before taxes).

-He's been driving a practical car that he bought used several years ago.

-He will not be contributing any less to the household expenses.

-He isn't looking to purchase a particularly expensive car - even brand new, a Miata tops out in the neighborhood of $40k

In terms of financial decisions, I'd suggest that buying a new car (or any car, given the current supply issues) isn't a great idea unless you actually need it. If his old car is reliable, he'd be better off keeping it and saving up a bit more until market conditions improve.

In terms of relationship decisions, this doesn't seem to be a question at all - if him buying himself a new car that he can easily afford is a problem for her, the solution is to get rid of her, not the car.
 
5 days ago  

GardenWeasel: Joe Stapler: His finances are none of her business.  When did people start equating girlfriends with wives?

And vice versa. HE is the one biatching about HER.


I thought it was two girls in the letter? I mean, the letter writer is thinking about buying a Miata...
 
5 days ago  
Sock the money away and get a prenup.
 
5 days ago  
Soon: "I got a 30% raise and a cool car. I deserve a vajayjay upgrade, right?"
 
5 days ago  
You have bigger things to worry about. Like the hole you're digging.
You got a 30% raise? Do you understand that cars are a liability, not an asset?
Do it. Buy the car. You know what? Go spend that 30%. Fun fun fun!
In a few years you'll both have the same disposable income anyway.
 
5 days ago  

eKonk: So just to review -

-He got a hefty salary increase with a new job (we can only speculate on how much 30% is in terms of dollars, but it's fair to say it's five figures (before taxes).

-He's been driving a practical car that he bought used several years ago.

-He will not be contributing any less to the household expenses.

-He isn't looking to purchase a particularly expensive car - even brand new, a Miata tops out in the neighborhood of $40k

In terms of financial decisions, I'd suggest that buying a new car (or any car, given the current supply issues) isn't a great idea unless you actually need it. If his old car is reliable, he'd be better off keeping it and saving up a bit more until market conditions improve.

In terms of relationship decisions, this doesn't seem to be a question at all - if him buying himself a new car that he can easily afford is a problem for her, the solution is to get rid of her, not the car.


Honestly letter writer sounds like an asshole.  I would suggest they dump the GF, for the GF's sake, so she can find someone that doesn't put all their worth into a meager salary.

A 30 percent raise isn't that much, even at 6 figures. Letter writer is like someone who hit the pick3 and thinks they won the mega millions.
 
5 days ago  
I remember one time I got a 4% increase.

/ qualified for six, but was told the company didn't go that high, even though it was their criteria
 
5 days ago  

Pinner: You have bigger things to worry about. Like the hole you're digging.
You got a 30% raise? Do you understand that cars are a liability, not an asset?
Do it. Buy the car. You know what? Go spend that 30%. Fun fun fun!
In a few years you'll both have the same disposable income anyway.


Do you think marketwatch doesn't realize that as well?  It isn't clear if the cost of the Miata will consume the whole raise (and for how long), nor what the expenses of an aging "second hand commuter car I bought years ago" are going to be.

The unwritten assumption is if he doesn't spend it, she will.

On the other hand, my guess is that marketwatch simply likes to read its own writing.  He links to this which is exactly the opposite (unless said guy actually is living in his parent's house), and the net cost for the Tesla is/was allegedly less than a miata (not to mention the $9k in gas.  Although that's probably half the cost you'll put in any other sports car*).

JaCiNto: GardenWeasel: Joe Stapler: His finances are none of her business.  When did people start equating girlfriends with wives?

And vice versa. HE is the one biatching about HER.

I thought it was two girls in the letter? I mean, the letter writer is thinking about buying a Miata...


I'm fairly sure the the Japanese designed the car in solidarity with other small men everywhere.  It just happens to fit girls as well.

/Ogre club member (how long ago was that?  Before this account, that's for sure.  Back then I didn't qualify by weight, only height.
//only was in a  Miata back in the 80s working at Jiffy Lube
///the manager didn't like me looking over the windshield while driving it in the baysallegedly  Miata wants regular.  Even if you get more than 16mpg, premium will make up the rest).
/* footnote: allegedly the Miata wants regular.  Even if you get more than 16mpg, premium will make up the rest).
 
5 days ago  

zeroman987: eKonk: So just to review -

-He got a hefty salary increase with a new job (we can only speculate on how much 30% is in terms of dollars, but it's fair to say it's five figures (before taxes).

-He's been driving a practical car that he bought used several years ago.

-He will not be contributing any less to the household expenses.

-He isn't looking to purchase a particularly expensive car - even brand new, a Miata tops out in the neighborhood of $40k

In terms of financial decisions, I'd suggest that buying a new car (or any car, given the current supply issues) isn't a great idea unless you actually need it. If his old car is reliable, he'd be better off keeping it and saving up a bit more until market conditions improve.

In terms of relationship decisions, this doesn't seem to be a question at all - if him buying himself a new car that he can easily afford is a problem for her, the solution is to get rid of her, not the car.

Honestly letter writer sounds like an asshole.  I would suggest they dump the GF, for the GF's sake, so she can find someone that doesn't put all their worth into a meager salary.

A 30 percent raise isn't that much, even at 6 figures. Letter writer is like someone who hit the pick3 and thinks they won the mega millions.


Yeah, he had a couple asshole comments in there (e.g., "she doesn't have her nose to the grindstone the way I'd expect"), so I can see that a breakup would benefit her as much as (or more than) it would benefit him.

And while a 30% bump in salary might not be a huge windfall, getting a Miata to replace an older car (that might be due for replacement anyway) isn't exactly an extravagant purchase. If he had suggested he buy a new Camry instead, would anyone bat an eyelash? They cost about the same, so if you don't need the extra space, why bother with the boring car?
 
5 days ago  
Significant others, unless you specifically discuss things, don't get to tell you how to spend your money nor get mad at you for being dumb with it, UNLESS it interferes with paying shared bills or something.
 
5 days ago  

Smackledorfer: Significant others, unless you specifically discuss things, don't get to tell you how to spend your money nor get mad at you for being dumb with it, UNLESS it interferes with paying shared bills or something.


I'm sure that works in some relationships, but I don't agree with the blanket statement.

When you share long term financial goals (like potential earlier retirement, a paid of house, overcoming shared debt, like, say a mortgage), I think it's valid to tell your partner when you think they are being dumb with money.  Especially when that money could have gone towards those long term shared goals.  It's not just about paying the shared bills each month.  It's about gaining financial freedom.

I'd want my wife to tell me I'm being dumb, if that's what she thinks.  I'd want to have a conversation about it.

Better than just becoming miserable and resentful, anyway.
 
5 days ago  

akya: Smackledorfer: Significant others, unless you specifically discuss things, don't get to tell you how to spend your money nor get mad at you for being dumb with it, UNLESS it interferes with paying shared bills or something.

I'm sure that works in some relationships, but I don't agree with the blanket statement.

When you share long term financial goals (like potential earlier retirement, a paid of house, overcoming shared debt, like, say a mortgage), I think it's valid to tell your partner when you think they are being dumb with money.  Especially when that money could have gone towards those long term shared goals.  It's not just about paying the shared bills each month.  It's about gaining financial freedom.

I'd want my wife to tell me I'm being dumb, if that's what she thinks.  I'd want to have a conversation about it.

Better than just becoming miserable and resentful, anyway.


Wife yes, girlfriend no.

Perhaps I was unclear though. I didn't just mean monthly bills. Any long term planning would fall under that umbrella, as well as "things that should be specifically discussed".

One partner shouldn't be silently saving for their dream house, planning on buying it with their partner, yet not discuss that plan.

So I think we are on the same page.
 
4 days ago  

akya: Smackledorfer: Significant others, unless you specifically discuss things, don't get to tell you how to spend your money nor get mad at you for being dumb with it, UNLESS it interferes with paying shared bills or something.

I'm sure that works in some relationships, but I don't agree with the blanket statement.

When you share long term financial goals (like potential earlier retirement, a paid of house, overcoming shared debt, like, say a mortgage), I think it's valid to tell your partner when you think they are being dumb with money.  Especially when that money could have gone towards those long term shared goals.  It's not just about paying the shared bills each month.  It's about gaining financial freedom.

I'd want my wife to tell me I'm being dumb, if that's what she thinks.  I'd want to have a conversation about it.

Better than just becoming miserable and resentful, anyway.


Smackledorfer described basically how my wife and I handle our finances.  We've got certain bills divided equitably from the outset (e.g. I earn more so I pay the mortgage, she pays the utilities), and we split the car insurance and costs of groceries and joint entertainment down the middle. But, we've never combined our savings, investments, or even checking aside from one joint account used for paying bills.

We both have a very similarly understanding of money, and we both have some penny pincher tendencies.  It's much more likely for one of us to encourage the other to spend (their) money so we don't have to hear any complaints.  For example, my gas grill is almost toast, and my wife says "oh FFS, just buy a new one". I'm going to get every single steak I can out of the old one before it collapses into a pile of rust.

If either one of us bought a new car, the other would say "cool."

But, we're 40-somethings with more coming in than going out.  We both have surpluses in our monthly budgets and years worth of buffers in savings and investments, so we can afford to be nonchalant about money.

In a sense, the ability to not worry about, or to mostly not think about money is something you pay for In installments over time. It means not buying a Miata the first time you get a real raise.
 
4 days ago  
if the girl is going to get butthurt every time you spend some of your money on yourself then she needs to go.  you don't want a relationship where you need to hide purchases or have someone constantly bleeding you because they are struggling.
 
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