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(Slate)   Oh, I know. Let's fight forest fires by unleashing massive floods. I'll be right along to help with that, as soon as I finish releasing the last of these bears to combat the out-of-control feral cat population   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Stupid, Water resources, Flood, Water, Water supply network, current infrastructure package, water systems, lengthy California Aqueduct moves water, efficient water use  
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2093 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Sep 2021 at 2:38 PM (19 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



50 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-09-12 10:06:38 AM  
We will need some massive flood control dams to accomplish this. I suggest we build the third one immediately!
 
2021-09-12 11:06:17 AM  
I'm sure the West has been wondering what to do with all that water they don't have.
 
2021-09-12 12:43:15 PM  

edmo: I'm sure the West has been wondering what to do with all that water they don't have.


Isn't Google taking all of it?
 
2021-09-12 12:52:35 PM  
....and the gorillas will simply freeze to death.
 
2021-09-12 2:02:32 PM  
Even if they only built on empty land between the east and west, I have no confidence the US could get this done in under 100 years.
 
2021-09-12 2:18:32 PM  
Could we, say, corral the waters that flooded Tennessee farms, New York City subway tracks, and Californian forests and dump them on the parched land that's fueling the Caldor and Dixie fires?


maybe you could use a bucket brigade
 
2021-09-12 2:42:14 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-12 2:42:34 PM  
If you can get the water to flood uphill, sure, why not.
 
2021-09-12 2:44:29 PM  

RolandTGunner: ....and the gorillas will simply freeze to death.


Not any more. What with Climate Change, the winters will be too warm. We will have gorillas loose running all over the place.
 
2021-09-12 2:46:44 PM  
Who needs floods?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-12 2:47:37 PM  
Is our children learning?  Nope obviously not.
 
2021-09-12 2:49:27 PM  

Cafe Threads: edmo: I'm sure the West has been wondering what to do with all that water they don't have.

Isn't Google taking all of it?


Since Google was founded California has had less and less water, you may be onto something.
 
2021-09-12 2:49:43 PM  
Every time one of these fires happens, Nestle should be legally obligated to supply any water to put them out.
 
2021-09-12 2:49:50 PM  
Could we, say, corral the waters that flooded Tennessee farms, New York City subway tracks, and Californian forests and dump them on the parched land that's fueling the Caldor and Dixie fires?Right now it would take a shiat ton of CO2 emissions.  But I guess putting out the fire reduces that some.But the window for extra rainfall is tight and irregular.  That water cleared out of that Tennessee town in just a few hours and very little impact on the level of Kentucky Lake just a bit downriver.
 
2021-09-12 2:51:32 PM  
Or, or- you could stop sucking the aquifers dry and just NOT FARM IN THE DESERT.
 
2021-09-12 2:52:27 PM  
I'm on my second tall can right now, and no way I could be that drunk
 
2021-09-12 2:53:26 PM  

lurkey: Or, or- you could stop sucking the aquifers dry and just NOT FARM IN THE DESERT.


Forest fires, my dude.
 
2021-09-12 2:55:25 PM  
Send in the gorillas.

Oh wait, they all have covid.
 
2021-09-12 2:55:41 PM  

blondambition: RolandTGunner: ....and the gorillas will simply freeze to death.

Not any more. What with Climate Change, the winters will be too warm. We will have gorillas loose running all over the place.


Fark user imageView Full Size


On the one hand... giraffes.
On the other.  Well. Y'know.  Zombies.
 
2021-09-12 3:03:14 PM  
The western area of the USA needs some halp.

I don't care where it comes from, but we need a sip of water.
 
2021-09-12 3:08:24 PM  
They'll just publish anything won't they.
 
2021-09-12 3:17:02 PM  
And then we shall dry the droughts with fire!
 
2021-09-12 3:17:30 PM  

MillionDollarMo: And then we shall dry the droughts with fire!


And the floods.
 
2021-09-12 3:21:03 PM  

Fart And Smunny: lurkey: Or, or- you could stop sucking the aquifers dry and just NOT FARM IN THE DESERT.

Forest fires, my dude.


Duh.
Stop draining the aquifers everywhere, including, and especially, those forests that have been catching fire for thousands of years. The natives coulda told ya.
IF you insist on farming where there is no water, cover your sh*t with a Cravo and practice some frickin' water management. Like e verybody else except a very small minority in the US.Soy Coy and Corn Horny farming will kill us all.
 
2021-09-12 3:33:18 PM  
This makes as much sense as the thousands of farkers who think that all we need to is burn down all the forests in the west, because they heard some line about how we needed to thin our forests, and now they think that we can fix a thousand years of farking up the planet by getting some more of that natural shiat out of the way, so that they don't have to think about it anymore when they plan their vacations.

Welcome to Rocky Mountain National Park. Enjoy your stay. Take in EVERYTHING

Fark user imageView Full Size

And remember, all of this natural beauty is ours to share, because of the excellent stewardship of the people of this country, who know that we have to use a light hand when we manage and use natural resources.
LOOK UPON OUR WORKS AND DESPAIR
 
2021-09-12 3:52:23 PM  

lurkey: Or, or- you could stop sucking the aquifers dry and just NOT FARM IN THE DESERT.


Hell, we can't even stop building farking golf courses in the desert.
 
2021-09-12 3:57:48 PM  

lurkey: Fart And Smunny: lurkey: Or, or- you could stop sucking the aquifers dry and just NOT FARM IN THE DESERT.

Forest fires, my dude.

Duh.
Stop draining the aquifers everywhere, including, and especially, those forests that have been catching fire for thousands of years. The natives coulda told ya.
IF you insist on farming where there is no water, cover your sh*t with a Cravo and practice some frickin' water management. Like e verybody else except a very small minority in the US.Soy Coy and Corn Horny farming will kill us all.


No doubt, factory farming of all sorts, but especially the ones you note, are causing major issues, but where "in the desert" do you think people are farming?
 
2021-09-12 4:22:21 PM  
external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-12 4:25:10 PM  

RolandTGunner: ....and the gorillas will simply freeze to death.


I was going to say the same about the floods.
 
2021-09-12 4:39:36 PM  

Hey Nurse!: Who needs floods?

[Fark user image image 225x225]


Beat me to it.
 
2021-09-12 5:10:45 PM  
Reads headline.  Reads article.  Subby, I don't think the article is saying what you think it's saying.

China is already doing large scale projects to move water from one location to another.  We've done it in the past.  India has all sorts of historical channels for massive irrigation.

You take excess water from one place and send it somewhere else.  There are some technical hurdles... you have to make sure you aren't sending polluted water from one place to another.  There are places you have to pump uphill (or maintain vacuum so you can use a syphon effect so long as you want it back down on the other side... or go through), and you need to protect a source of that much water from terrorist attacks, and have plans in place for how it gets distributed.

If you are talking about doing this just to mitigate droughts, or maybe to recharge the aquifers in the west that we've depleted it doesn't sound like that bad an idea.  The real trick is making sure you are sending clean water.  That can be hard when you are dealing with run off.  You'd need to create some massive lakes to operate as holding tanks to regulate the flow in your channels.  (Like I said before, India has a large system of channels.  They are putting solar on top of them to double the usefulness of the land and to reduce evaporation.)
 
2021-09-12 5:23:29 PM  

Fart And Smunny: lurkey: Fart And Smunny: lurkey: Or, or- you could stop sucking the aquifers dry and just NOT FARM IN THE DESERT.

Forest fires, my dude.

Duh.
Stop draining the aquifers everywhere, including, and especially, those forests that have been catching fire for thousands of years. The natives coulda told ya.
IF you insist on farming where there is no water, cover your sh*t with a Cravo and practice some frickin' water management. Like e verybody else except a very small minority in the US.Soy Coy and Corn Horny farming will kill us all.

No doubt, factory farming of all sorts, but especially the ones you note, are causing major issues, but where "in the desert" do you think people are farming?


One example would be California's Imperial Valley. All it does is produce $1 billion dollars worth of crops annually. So we'll just walk away from all that and bankrupt the entire county. Riiiiiiiight.
 
2021-09-12 5:33:51 PM  

HoratioGates: Reads headline.  Reads article.  Subby, I don't think the article is saying what you think it's saying.

China is already doing large scale projects to move water from one location to another.  We've done it in the past.  India has all sorts of historical channels for massive irrigation.

You take excess water from one place and send it somewhere else.  There are some technical hurdles... you have to make sure you aren't sending polluted water from one place to another.  There are places you have to pump uphill (or maintain vacuum so you can use a syphon effect so long as you want it back down on the other side... or go through), and you need to protect a source of that much water from terrorist attacks, and have plans in place for how it gets distributed.

If you are talking about doing this just to mitigate droughts, or maybe to recharge the aquifers in the west that we've depleted it doesn't sound like that bad an idea.  The real trick is making sure you are sending clean water.  That can be hard when you are dealing with run off.  You'd need to create some massive lakes to operate as holding tanks to regulate the flow in your channels.  (Like I said before, India has a large system of channels.  They are putting solar on top of them to double the usefulness of the land and to reduce evaporation.)


That's great and all, but it only works when there's excess water to give. What happens when there's not, or it's somewhere not covered by the transfer network? The recipients are suddenly out of luck.  You think they'll just accept not getting anything some years?  No, they'll DEMAND the water they insist they now have a RIGHT to receive.  That sort of thing is happening now with the Colorado River.
 
2021-09-12 5:51:38 PM  

SoundOfOneHandWanking: Could we, say, corral the waters that flooded Tennessee farms, New York City subway tracks, and Californian forests and dump them on the parched land that's fueling the Caldor and Dixie fires?


maybe you could use a bucket brigade


We could build a massive, transcontinental network of water pipes and pumping stations. It should be easy enough, we'll just get Elon Musk to buil-


I can't, I just can not finish that sentence. I thought I'd leave a funny joke but it's just too stupid and too absurd.
 
2021-09-12 6:35:25 PM  

Joe USer: We will need some massive flood control dams to accomplish this. I suggest we build the third one immediately!


Was this too obscure or just not silly enough?
 
2021-09-12 6:56:55 PM  

CordycepsInYourBrain: Fart And Smunny: lurkey: Fart And Smunny: lurkey: Or, or- you could stop sucking the aquifers dry and just NOT FARM IN THE DESERT.

Forest fires, my dude.

Duh.
Stop draining the aquifers everywhere, including, and especially, those forests that have been catching fire for thousands of years. The natives coulda told ya.
IF you insist on farming where there is no water, cover your sh*t with a Cravo and practice some frickin' water management. Like e verybody else except a very small minority in the US.Soy Coy and Corn Horny farming will kill us all.

No doubt, factory farming of all sorts, but especially the ones you note, are causing major issues, but where "in the desert" do you think people are farming?

One example would be California's Imperial Valley. All it does is produce $1 billion dollars worth of crops annually. So we'll just walk away from all that and bankrupt the entire county. Riiiiiiiight.


Interesting - thanks!
 
2021-09-12 7:07:56 PM  

cryinoutloud: This makes as much sense as the thousands of farkers who think that all we need to is burn down all the forests in the west, because they heard some line about how we needed to thin our forests, and now they think that we can fix a thousand years of farking up the planet by getting some more of that natural shiat out of the way, so that they don't have to think about it anymore when they plan their vacations.

Welcome to Rocky Mountain National Park. Enjoy your stay. Take in EVERYTHING

[Fark user image 850x265]
And remember, all of this natural beauty is ours to share, because of the excellent stewardship of the people of this country, who know that we have to use a light hand when we manage and use natural resources.
LOOK UPON OUR WORKS AND DESPAIR


Ok, now show the picture from 1 year later where everything is green again.
 
2021-09-12 7:48:04 PM  
Sure, humans can overrun the earth until the environment is in tatters, but I drop a couple of litters in a potting shed and I'm public enemy number one?

Bring on the bears, I'll mess them up.
 
2021-09-12 7:54:47 PM  

Feral Cat With Scissors: Sure, humans can overrun the earth until the environment is in tatters, but I drop a couple of litters in a potting shed and I'm public enemy number one?

Bring on the bears, I'll mess them up.


What kind of litters?
Dogs, cats, gerbils?
 
2021-09-12 8:08:41 PM  

Feral Cat With Scissors: Sure, humans can overrun the earth until the environment is in tatters, but I drop a couple of litters in a potting shed and I'm public enemy number one?

Bring on the bears, I'll mess them up.


Name checks out.
 
2021-09-12 8:55:07 PM  

Fart And Smunny: lurkey: Fart And Smunny: lurkey: Or, or- you could stop sucking the aquifers dry and just NOT FARM IN THE DESERT.

Forest fires, my dude.

Duh.
Stop draining the aquifers everywhere, including, and especially, those forests that have been catching fire for thousands of years. The natives coulda told ya.
IF you insist on farming where there is no water, cover your sh*t with a Cravo and practice some frickin' water management. Like e verybody else except a very small minority in the US.Soy Coy and Corn Horny farming will kill us all.

No doubt, factory farming of all sorts, but especially the ones you note, are causing major issues, but where "in the desert" do you think people are farming?


Huge swathes of Southern Idaho and Eastern Washington are two that immediately come to mind.
 
2021-09-12 9:01:15 PM  

Fart And Smunny: lurkey: Fart And Smunny: lurkey: Or, or- you could stop sucking the aquifers dry and just NOT FARM IN THE DESERT.

Forest fires, my dude.

Duh.
Stop draining the aquifers everywhere, including, and especially, those forests that have been catching fire for thousands of years. The natives coulda told ya.
IF you insist on farming where there is no water, cover your sh*t with a Cravo and practice some frickin' water management. Like e verybody else except a very small minority in the US.Soy Coy and Corn Horny farming will kill us all.

No doubt, factory farming of all sorts, but especially the ones you note, are causing major issues, but where "in the desert" do you think people are farming?


And where "in the desert" are you imagining the fires are occurring?
 
2021-09-12 9:20:39 PM  
I just did am unintended consequences.

Spotted a mouse while cleaning some weeds.

Set the traps in the garage, crawl space and outside (bird proof).

Garage trap revealed a new ant nest, set bait for them.

Bird proof doesn't mean raccoon proof. That would have been fun to watch since the second trap was six feet away, meaning it got suck on a paw. I don't feel bad at all. That farker and I have a history. It cleared a rabbit nest this Summer. Ate all five of them.

Critters suck.
 
2021-09-13 12:04:22 AM  

NathanAllen: I just did am unintended consequences.

Spotted a mouse while cleaning some weeds.

Set the traps in the garage, crawl space and outside (bird proof).

Garage trap revealed a new ant nest, set bait for them.

Bird proof doesn't mean raccoon proof. That would have been fun to watch since the second trap was six feet away, meaning it got suck on a paw. I don't feel bad at all. That farker and I have a history. It cleared a rabbit nest this Summer. Ate all five of them.

Critters suck.


Because it's much better to have a rabbit overpopulation.

You don't really get how nature works, do you? Bet you're the kind who thinks hawks are evil for eating poor defenseless mice, too.
 
2021-09-13 1:26:49 AM  
I feel like this is something Lewis Black would have a rant about.
 
2021-09-13 2:50:13 AM  
Let's see: most of the fires are in the West in California but which has a surplus of water. What a brilliant idea. Why didn't we think of that. It's so simple. Maybe now, we'll be able to stop wading butt deep in all this damn water!
 
2021-09-13 4:27:36 AM  

wxboy: HoratioGates: Reads headline.  Reads article.  Subby, I don't think the article is saying what you think it's saying.

China is already doing large scale projects to move water from one location to another.  We've done it in the past.  India has all sorts of historical channels for massive irrigation.

You take excess water from one place and send it somewhere else.  There are some technical hurdles... you have to make sure you aren't sending polluted water from one place to another.  There are places you have to pump uphill (or maintain vacuum so you can use a syphon effect so long as you want it back down on the other side... or go through), and you need to protect a source of that much water from terrorist attacks, and have plans in place for how it gets distributed.

If you are talking about doing this just to mitigate droughts, or maybe to recharge the aquifers in the west that we've depleted it doesn't sound like that bad an idea.  The real trick is making sure you are sending clean water.  That can be hard when you are dealing with run off.  You'd need to create some massive lakes to operate as holding tanks to regulate the flow in your channels.  (Like I said before, India has a large system of channels.  They are putting solar on top of them to double the usefulness of the land and to reduce evaporation.)

That's great and all, but it only works when there's excess water to give. What happens when there's not, or it's somewhere not covered by the transfer network? The recipients are suddenly out of luck.  You think they'll just accept not getting anything some years?  No, they'll DEMAND the water they insist they now have a RIGHT to receive.  That sort of thing is happening now with the Colorado River.


There actually are pretty established rules for how much water you can take.  The problem with the Colorado is that it's shrinking from drought.  It would probably be best to have those things more formalized though.
 
2021-09-13 7:07:41 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Fart And Smunny: lurkey: Fart And Smunny: lurkey: Or, or- you could stop sucking the aquifers dry and just NOT FARM IN THE DESERT.

Forest fires, my dude.

Duh.
Stop draining the aquifers everywhere, including, and especially, those forests that have been catching fire for thousands of years. The natives coulda told ya.
IF you insist on farming where there is no water, cover your sh*t with a Cravo and practice some frickin' water management. Like e verybody else except a very small minority in the US.Soy Coy and Corn Horny farming will kill us all.

No doubt, factory farming of all sorts, but especially the ones you note, are causing major issues, but where "in the desert" do you think people are farming?

And where "in the desert" are you imagining the fires are occurring?


Fire in the desert & chaparral from, oh, I don't know, say LA to Phoenix?
JFC,

CordycepsInYourBrain: Fart And Smunny: lurkey: Fart And Smunny: lurkey: Or, or- you could stop sucking the aquifers dry and just NOT FARM IN THE DESERT.

Forest fires, my dude.

Duh.
Stop draining the aquifers everywhere, including, and especially, those forests that have been catching fire for thousands of years. The natives coulda told ya.
IF you insist on farming where there is no water, cover your sh*t with a Cravo and practice some frickin' water management. Like e verybody else except a very small minority in the US.Soy Coy and Corn Horny farming will kill us all.

No doubt, factory farming of all sorts, but especially the ones you note, are causing major issues, but where "in the desert" do you think people are farming?

One example would be California's Imperial Valley. All it does is produce $1 billion dollars worth of crops annually. So we'll just walk away from all that and bankrupt the entire county. Riiiiiiiight.


I never thought anyone would "walk away" from that cash cow.
US Ag is like every other US industry- greed rules absolutely.
Like locusts, they won't move on until they eat everything first.
 
2021-09-13 7:27:12 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Fart And Smunny: lurkey: Fart And Smunny: lurkey: Or, or- you could stop sucking the aquifers dry and just NOT FARM IN THE DESERT.

Forest fires, my dude.

Duh.
Stop draining the aquifers everywhere, including, and especially, those forests that have been catching fire for thousands of years. The natives coulda told ya.
IF you insist on farming where there is no water, cover your sh*t with a Cravo and practice some frickin' water management. Like e verybody else except a very small minority in the US.Soy Coy and Corn Horny farming will kill us all.

No doubt, factory farming of all sorts, but especially the ones you note, are causing major issues, but where "in the desert" do you think people are farming?

And where "in the desert" are you imagining the fires are occurring?


The Mojave Fire in June 2021 was in.........(tada) The Mojave Desert.
The East Desert Fire in 2020 was in.......(surprise, surprise, surprise) not a tropical rainforest, not a sunny green meadow, but actually cactus-and-sand desert.
I know, I know, hard to believe that deserts could burn, if only there was some agency that tracked all the wildfires burning in the US at any given time, and maybe archived that data so one could read about it later. If only.
JFC.
 
2021-09-13 10:25:14 AM  

Lurk Who's Talking: Let's see: most of the fires are in the West in California but which has a surplus of water. What a brilliant idea. Why didn't we think of that. It's so simple. Maybe now, we'll be able to stop wading butt deep in all this damn water!


California has a surplus of water? Wasn't last year one of their driest years ever?
 
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