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(Capital Gazette)   Crazy semen prick by crazy Stemen prick leads to prison   (capitalgazette.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Plea, Sting, Alford plea, Supermarket, Thomas Stemen, Hypodermic needle, Prison, Woman  
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2711 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Sep 2021 at 2:05 AM (10 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



46 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-09-09 9:43:16 PM  
WTF?
 
2021-09-09 10:10:47 PM  
So is she pregnant with a butt baby now?

/not sure how any of this works
 
2021-09-09 10:23:37 PM  

Walker: So is she pregnant with a butt baby now?

/not sure how any of this works


fb- is not the father.
 
2021-09-10 1:45:49 AM  
How do to it wrong on So Many Levels at once.
 
2021-09-10 2:12:25 AM  
At least Stemen didn't use a pistil.
 
2021-09-10 2:13:14 AM  
farking psycho
 
2021-09-10 2:15:20 AM  
That's just wrong
 
2021-09-10 2:18:28 AM  
Maybe he thought he was a squid?
 
2021-09-10 2:22:21 AM  
Ew.
 
2021-09-10 2:23:10 AM  
Remember the Niles semen bandit around my parts.   He carried a cup of his semen and threw it on women outside a K-Mart.   It was a kinder, gentler time.
 
2021-09-10 2:25:46 AM  

Somacandra: How do to it wrong on So Many Levels at once.


Unless you're a bedbug.

This sick fark should've gotten the full sentences, consecutively not concurrent.
 
2021-09-10 2:31:50 AM  

edmo: WTF?


I don't think there is another worthy expression. Site freaked out on me, I'm hoping he's in prison. Hopefully in prison for a very long time.
 
2021-09-10 2:33:20 AM  
Darwin breaths a sigh of relief. Luckily this moron doesn't know about " The Birds and the Bees". He is truly a Stupid Criminal.
 
2021-09-10 2:34:00 AM  
He's clearly shown he can't use his gonads responsibly.

i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-10 2:35:16 AM  
You're supposed to use a turkey baster, ya basterd.

Better yet, keep it to yourself.
 
2021-09-10 2:40:57 AM  

Stud Gerbil: Remember the Niles semen bandit around my parts.   He carried a cup of his semen and threw it on women outside a K-Mart.   It was a kinder, gentler time.


If he is a semen bandit and throwing it at people, he's really bad at banditry. That only leaves you with less semen, you fool!
 
2021-09-10 2:40:59 AM  
It's a metaphor, right?
 
2021-09-10 2:43:54 AM  
That's not how babby is is formed
 
2021-09-10 2:44:49 AM  

Stud Gerbil: Remember the Niles semen bandit around my parts.   He carried a cup of his semen and threw it on women outside a K-Mart.   It was a kinder, gentler time.


Wait, wouldn't a semen bandit steal semen from people instead of attacking people with it?

Or was he some sort of Robin Hood with jizz? Stealing spunk from the rich, and giving bukakkes to the poor?
 
2021-09-10 2:47:05 AM  

Claude Ballse: Stud Gerbil: Remember the Niles semen bandit around my parts.   He carried a cup of his semen and threw it on women outside a K-Mart.   It was a kinder, gentler time.

Wait, wouldn't a semen bandit steal semen from people instead of attacking people with it?

Or was he some sort of Robin Hood with jizz? Stealing spunk from the rich, and giving bukakkes to the poor?


Sounds like next Sunday's Oglaf strip.
 
2021-09-10 2:48:35 AM  

Claude Ballse: Stud Gerbil: Remember the Niles semen bandit around my parts.   He carried a cup of his semen and threw it on women outside a K-Mart.   It was a kinder, gentler time.

Wait, wouldn't a semen bandit steal semen from people instead of attacking people with it?

Or was he some sort of Robin Hood with jizz? Stealing spunk from the rich, and giving bukakkes to the poor?


Yeah I'd name him the Bukkake bandit.  I hope that name sticks.
 
2021-09-10 2:59:49 AM  

Walker: So is she pregnant with a butt baby now?

/not sure how any of this works


Fun fact, that was how 45 was concieved.  You can ask almost anyone on fark.
 
2021-09-10 3:23:09 AM  
What kind of nutter injects a woman in the buttocks with his nutter nut butter?

A Stemen semen fiending like a cretin for a meeting with the warden in the prison produce garden to discuss the fuss he caused when he jabbed a needle in the cushion on her tush after wanking in a needle in order to spread his seed...

That's who.
 
2021-09-10 3:59:36 AM  
I believe my fresh suggestion to update the board game Clue will go swimmingly!
 
2021-09-10 4:16:37 AM  
About 1990, some weirdo driving a hoarder-filled 1970s Chevy wagon squired me with a substance from a water pistol as I stood waiting to cross on the corner by the Central Library in Downtown San Diego. SDPD were called, I was taken to the Old Downtown Jail to give a report, and they took my shirt for evidence & testing (they gave me a really cool Hawaiian shirt to wear from somewhere; still have '& wear it!). I was afraid it was urine but it was something like lemonade or a soft drink. Lucky me. I was also worried it could somehow be HIV+ infected (I didn't know). I walked a few blocks to my home & was wary for a long-time after. Only time I've been attacked like that, so pretty lucky.

Still don't understand why a guy who obviously lived in his car would wake up, drive around with a water pistol filled with a sticky liquid looking for someone to squirt, knowing if he were arrested he could go to jail, his car/home could be impounded, his stuff would be rummaged through looking for evidence, ... How could all that potential loss be worth laughing at me?  I don't understand.
 
2021-09-10 4:47:01 AM  
Now I understand what Bill Gates *actually* put in all the covid-19 vaccines! Like any great evil plan, doesn't it have that tiny little part of it that makes some sense?

With the world is doomed to suffer under increasingly catastrophic climate change, untold deaths and wars, what better way to save humanity then to have every last woman on the planet give birth to a child with the genius-level intellect of Bill Gates? If an army of millions of Bill Gates cannot come up to a solution for climate change, are we not all doomed?

/ I smell a Bond film here...
 
2021-09-10 4:56:04 AM  

Stud Gerbil: Remember the Niles semen bandit around my parts.   He carried a cup of his semen and threw it on women outside a K-Mart.   It was a kinder, gentler time.


That was never proved...

Fark user imageView Full Size


/I can't access the article from the UK. Anyone want to give me a summary or copy pasta?
 
2021-09-10 5:08:21 AM  

Pert: Stud Gerbil: Remember the Niles semen bandit around my parts.   He carried a cup of his semen and threw it on women outside a K-Mart.   It was a kinder, gentler time.

That was never proved...

[Fark user image 400x300] [View Full Size image _x_]

/I can't access the article from the UK. Anyone want to give me a summary or copy pasta?


A guy put his own semen into syringes and went around pricking women with said syringes in public. Cops went to his house and found a bunch of other syringes also containing his semen. He pled not guilty but has been sentenced to serve a bunch of years in prison.

His last name in Stemen. One has to wonder if somebody made one too many wisecracks about how it rhymes or looks like 'semen', and he finally snapped. Shiatty origin story, I know, but still better than Hawkeye's or Black Widow's.
 
2021-09-10 5:33:33 AM  

ChibiDebuHage: Pert: Stud Gerbil: Remember the Niles semen bandit around my parts.   He carried a cup of his semen and threw it on women outside a K-Mart.   It was a kinder, gentler time.

That was never proved...

[Fark user image 400x300] [View Full Size image _x_]

/I can't access the article from the UK. Anyone want to give me a summary or copy pasta?

A guy put his own semen into syringes and went around pricking women with said syringes in public. Cops went to his house and found a bunch of other syringes also containing his semen. He pled not guilty but has been sentenced to serve a bunch of years in prison.

His last name in Stemen. One has to wonder if somebody made one too many wisecracks about how it rhymes or looks like 'semen', and he finally snapped. Shiatty origin story, I know, but still better than Hawkeye's or Black Widow's.


Than you very much.
 
2021-09-10 5:42:05 AM  

Albino Squid: Stud Gerbil: Remember the Niles semen bandit around my parts.   He carried a cup of his semen and threw it on women outside a K-Mart.   It was a kinder, gentler time.

If he is a semen bandit and throwing it at people, he's really bad at banditry. That only leaves you with less semen, you fool!


Truly a modern day Robin Hood
 
2021-09-10 6:07:39 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-10 6:46:33 AM  

Claude Ballse: Stud Gerbil: Remember the Niles semen bandit around my parts.   He carried a cup of his semen and threw it on women outside a K-Mart.   It was a kinder, gentler time.

Wait, wouldn't a semen bandit steal semen from people instead of attacking people with it?

Or was he some sort of Robin Hood with jizz? Stealing spunk from the rich, and giving bukakkes to the poor?


"Robin Hood with Jizz" was the title of a 1990 gay porno film.  Or, if it wasn't, it SHOULD be.
 
2021-09-10 7:24:26 AM  

Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen: Claude Ballse: Stud Gerbil: Remember the Niles semen bandit around my parts.   He carried a cup of his semen and threw it on women outside a K-Mart.   It was a kinder, gentler time.

Wait, wouldn't a semen bandit steal semen from people instead of attacking people with it?

Or was he some sort of Robin Hood with jizz? Stealing spunk from the rich, and giving bukakkes to the poor?

"Robin Hood with Jizz" was the title of a 1990 gay porno film.  Or, if it wasn't, it SHOULD be.


You're not wrong in principle, it was 2015 when they the supreme court said they could marry men.
 
2021-09-10 7:44:55 AM  
I don't even.
 
2021-09-10 7:56:03 AM  
Username checks out.
 
2021-09-10 8:20:26 AM  
And remember... if this somehow was how babby is formed and it happened in Texas, she'd be required to carry his syringe baby to term.
 
2021-09-10 8:28:39 AM  
I'm always a whatever-floats-your-boat kinda guy... but seriously... who does this??? and why???
 
2021-09-10 8:47:12 AM  
My first stupid question for today: If this gave the victim a superpower, what would that superpower be?
 
2021-09-10 8:51:51 AM  

Somacandra: How do to it wrong on So Many Levels at once.


You don't know where to start.

And yet involuntary incels wonder why they don't get laid.
 
2021-09-10 8:54:45 AM  

brantgoose: Somacandra: How do to it wrong on So Many Levels at once.

You don't know where to start.

And yet involuntary incels wonder why they don't get laid.


Involuntary incels?

Is there an echo in here?
 
2021-09-10 8:55:59 AM  

Marksrevenge: brantgoose: Somacandra: How do to it wrong on So Many Levels at once.

You don't know where to start.

And yet involuntary incels wonder why they don't get laid.

Involuntary incels?

Is there an echo in here?


Hold that thought, I'm trying to remember my PIN number over here.
 
2021-09-10 9:53:14 AM  

Stud Gerbil: Remember the Niles semen bandit around my parts.


He drained you?

/DAMN, username checks out
 
2021-09-10 10:00:17 AM  

Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen: Claude Ballse: Stud Gerbil: Remember the Niles semen bandit around my parts.   He carried a cup of his semen and threw it on women outside a K-Mart.   It was a kinder, gentler time.

Wait, wouldn't a semen bandit steal semen from people instead of attacking people with it?

Or was he some sort of Robin Hood with jizz? Stealing spunk from the rich, and giving bukakkes to the poor?

"Robin Hood with Jizz" was the title of a 1990 gay porno film.  Or, if it wasn't, it SHOULD be.


Well, Maid Marian was a fox.
 
2021-09-10 10:51:53 AM  
I'm gonna try to remember this one at HOTY time.
 
2021-09-10 11:42:10 AM  

SBinRR: My first stupid question for today: If this gave the victim a superpower, what would that superpower be?


The ability to be very, veery, VERY interested in something, then lose all interest but have a wet or crusty sock spontaneously appear?

Not that exciting, but still better then Hawkeye and Black Widow.
 
2021-09-10 1:17:12 PM  
Sounds like a Stemen piece of shiat.
 
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