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Fark NotNewsletter: Guess what's back! Actually, don't guess, just read
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-09-09 11:46:53 AM (28 comments) | Permalink
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1799 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Sep 2021 at 7:56 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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A message from Drew Curtis:  
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Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

By popular demand, Fark Headline of the Week is back!  We hadn't been featuring this lately because sometimes I'd get too busy to run HotW on Mondays, but lately I've concentrated on making it part of my weekly routine.

Although Headline of the Week is pretty much just my personal selection, I take your votes for Fark links very seriously when deciding which to choose.  So if you have been wondering if your link votes matter, they do - a lot!  I'll qualify the occasional link that slips through the cracks just because I think it's funny, but I rely on your votes a lot - not just for Fark Headline of the Week, but for deciding which News Flash taglines to pick.  This is why sometimes a news flash won't hit main Fark for awhile, I'm waiting for the right tagline to be submitted.

And if you're not familiar with the link voting feature - turns out, it's one of the many features that you get as a TotalFark subscriber!  So sign on up and help influence the winners list. Headline of the Year voting begins in early December, so it's not too late to help out.

At 3 p.m. today it's the Fark News Livestream with me, Christine and Trevor. According to the news cycle, it's 9/11 week - I managed to find the few decently interesting but mostly obscure stories around the 20th anniversary.  And of course we'll have the usual roundup of things that slipped through the cracks and my favorite weirdness of the week.  Join us!  
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We now return you to your usual Fark NotNewsletter.
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Three Crooked Squirrels submitted proof of being capable of withstanding a hurricane
Nadie_AZ forwarded a message from a wind turbine blade to the train that smashed into it
Xcott knew the story behind a train's collision with a wind turbine blade
Martian_Astronomer explained what happened to an antivaxxer who died from smallpox in 1903
shoegaze99 was excited to get some Texas barbecue advice
markie_farkie spotted a familiar sight in coverage of Hurricane Ida
BumpInTheNight made a dad joke
beezeltown knew who else might misspell "Moderna" on a fake vaccination card
mofa preferred the doggy paddle
Straight Outta Wells Branch explained why Southern accents are often mocked

Smart:
UberDave did the research and came up with a solid plan
The Official Fark Cajun had to fight in court to do the right thing as a parent
Cyberluddite wondered how it would feel to have made different decisions
cretinbob thought that current medical terminology might not be getting the point across accurately
1funguy told us about someone who can watch a thousand people walk into a glass door but won't believe it's there until she smashes into it herself
theteacher had a theory on why Remington subpoenaed report cards, attendance records and disciplinary records of kids killed in the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting
AirForceVet compared experiences with someone who works in a COVID ward
OtherLittleGuy added more context to Circusdog320's story about people walking out of church when asked to wear masks
Hey Nurse! shared what it was like having to take care of a COVID denier

Politics Funny:
PlaidJaguar alerted the authorities after witnessing a crime
weddingsinger thought that Joe Rogan seemed fine after getting COVID-19
Pinnacle Point figured out the kind of guy who would report a woman he impregnated and collect the Texas $10k abortion bounty
Shostie explained what a couple of idiots were trying to practice at a shooting range
diIdo tontine had a slightly different interpretation of what these gun heroes were doing

Politics Smart:
GoodCopBadCop pointed out that in addition to punishing people who become pregnant, Texas also might be punishing those who had sex with them as well
Redh8t founded a new church
Murkanen described Chief Justice John Roberts' judicial philosophy
Psychopusher summed up life in the state of Texas
NeoCortex42 discussed Kevin McCarthy's threat against companies that comply with records requests from the Select Committee investigating the January 6th insurrection


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Terrapin Bound noticed an overlooked detail in a Hitchcock film
Cork on Fork turned a face to the sea
noazark showed us how to get to Sesame Street in style
RedZoneTuba finally found out what this girl was really running from
clovercat showed this guy getting busted
RedZoneTuba found that cow discos are actually pretty inclusive
rnatalie restored this painting to its original glory
RedZoneTuba made Mitch McConnell look less like a turtle
Yammering_Splat_Vector's pup exposed this derriere-ship
Yammering_Splat_Vector created a real seahorse

Captions:
From
Caption these youngsters:
BizarreMan detected a classic form of sibling torment
Subtonic's stomach was growling
steklo needed a referee
RedZoneTuba threatened to bring Mom's power to bear

Fartist Friday: Art featuring wildlife
ScrimBoy shared a shot from the bee roll

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: On September 8, 1966, "Star Trek" debuted its pilot episode. In honor of Star Trek Day, write a limerick about your favorite Star Trek character or episode, for any of its series.

Farktography: Warm It Up
MorningBreath captured the early pelican that gets the worm


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

ippississiM
Nick Knaack, anti-vax, gave his girl the 'rone. This old man came wheezin' home
Too drunk to drive, but just drunk enough to manage the Mets
Why the Royals will never trust Meghan Markle and Prince Harry again. Presumably because they stood them up in free agency and left for the Yankees
Never send to know for whom the pig trolls; it trolls for Ye
♬ No... one... flacks like Macron, no backtrack for Macron, vows to maintain French troops in Iraq when we're gone... ♬
Wherever you go, whatever you do, Richard Marx won't take bullshiat from you
I know a guy whose brain is toast / He'll roll the coal / And loudly boast / "I don't know grammar," / And he'll freely sneeze / He won't use facemasks / Or take vaccines / But now he uses unleaded gasoline / Unleaded gasoline / Unleaded gasolines
Wild cockatoos make their own cutlery sets. Not to be outdone, macaws are now into fondue
Today is National Chianti Day, so pick up some fava beans and size up your neighbors
Scottish reservoir levels hit an 18-year low and somehow they STILL can't find that silly lizard


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, although the 1000 club remains empty. Which is cool, because I'm screening in the back deck. On the Quiz itself, Joelogon came out on top with 934, followed by Two Dogs Farking with 896 and Denjiro with 892. TheCheese gets into the NNL with 882, and so do farkyorefeelings with 871 and Cndn Bacon with 862.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the USSR's Lunokhod program. Only 24% of quiztakers remembered that the Rooskies actually sent two remote-controlled rovers to drive around on the moon all the way back in the early 1970s. This was actually mankind's only remote-controlled rover mission on a celestial body prior to the Mars Pathfinder in 1997. We silly Americans sent our own rover to the moon but couldn't work out the kinks in the remote control system so we also had to send astronauts to drive it around manually in that same time period.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was a food question. 79% of quiztakers knew that "Caprese salad" was a basil leaf, a slice of tomato, and a piece of fresh mozzarella. I think the other 21% of people probably have been to Atlanta, since I don't know of a single restaurant that calls it "Caprese salad" - all the ones I worked at or ate at that served the dish elected to call it "fresh mozzarella" as if the basil and tomato were unimportant. I'm thinking Georgia people were getting confused when there wasn't any lettuce or ranch dressing on their high-falutin "salad".

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about a new HBO series based on a DC comic with a widely panned movie adaptation. Only 45% of quiztakers recognized the names Alan Scott, Guy Gardner, Jessica Cruz, and Simon Baz as members of the Green Lantern Corps. (Hal Jordan, the character played by Ryan Reynolds in the movie, is only one of many Green Lanterns) FWIW, I think the 55% of you can be forgiven for having turned off every Hollywood "Fantastic 4" movie ever made before even learning the characters' names (Reed Richards, Sue Storm, Johnny Storm, and Ben Grimm). 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the album "Graceland," which was not an Elvis LP but an '80s rock album with Afro-Caribbean rhythms and lyrics inspired by a trip to South Africa during the Western boycott over apartheid. 94% recognized it as the work of Paul Simon, with three of the songs being inspired by his past relationship and marriage to actor and screenwriter Carrie Fisher. Interestingly, the "Betty" in "You Can Call Me Al" is actually his first wife Peggy Harper, from whom he was divorced in 1975 - eleven years, two serious relationships, and another marriage later, he still thought of her. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

28 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-09-09 11:51:27 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-09 11:57:09 AM  
There's only one possible response to this.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-09 12:02:26 PM  
I submitted this with a better headline.
 
2021-09-09 12:08:33 PM  
Wasn't there a 'headline of the day' like 15 years ago, or am I having too much vodak?
 
2021-09-09 12:10:51 PM  

little big man: Wasn't there a 'headline of the day' like 15 years ago, or am I having too much vodak?


Why not both?
 
2021-09-09 12:14:00 PM  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-09 12:16:41 PM  
anondit is back??!?? Cool.... oh.
 
2021-09-09 12:18:03 PM  

I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: little big man: Wasn't there a 'headline of the day' like 15 years ago, or am I having too much vodak?

Why not both?


Vodak time travel is real. You can only go forwards, but time is cyclical, so you just have to drink enough to get all that time back.
 
2021-09-09 12:18:46 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-09 12:28:01 PM  
I love it that HOTW is back. I always look forward to them.
 
2021-09-09 12:49:02 PM  
Yay me! I won a contest... I get, um, internet points. I'll have to convert it to bitcoin to get access back to my por- work materials.
 
2021-09-09 1:20:04 PM  
Woo!  I'm a smart!

And a headline as well.
 
2021-09-09 1:20:08 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Having a blast
 
2021-09-09 1:45:55 PM  
The McRib?
 
2021-09-09 1:47:56 PM  
Fark NotNewsletter: Guess what's back! Actually, don't guess, just read

y.yarn.coView Full Size


Wait...
 
2021-09-09 2:41:32 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-09 3:16:13 PM  
Shady's back?
 
2021-09-09 6:56:11 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-09 7:32:33 PM  
*quietly giggling*
 
2021-09-09 7:35:17 PM  
Jerry Lee Lewis - Great Balls Of Fire🔥ᴴᴰ (1957)
Youtube BQa7wOu_I_A
 
2021-09-09 8:02:37 PM  
Boobies?!
 
2021-09-09 8:33:33 PM  

Hugemeister: Boobies?!


Director in Chief of da Fark says ...
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-09 8:40:18 PM  
Darn!  I was really hoping it was Foobies.


\ Not really
\\ too much spam
\\\ maybe a little
 
2021-09-09 8:40:47 PM  

The Weary Optimist: Darn!  I was really hoping it was Foobies.


\ Not really
\\ too much spam
\\\ maybe a little


Also keyboard is busted.
 
2021-09-09 9:31:14 PM  
The Music and Video tabs?
 
2021-09-09 9:40:57 PM  

Mercutio879: The McRib?


SirorMa'm, this is a Arbys
 
2021-09-10 1:52:14 AM  
Wow. I'll be damned. Shoutouts for both comments and headline! Neat...
 
2021-09-10 3:46:04 PM  

kdawg7736: I love it that HOTW is back. I always look forward to them.


Also The Smoking Gun needs to bring its weekly mugshot round-up back too and everything will be perfect.
 
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