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(The Takeout)   The average male lasts "somewhere in the 3-5 minute range, and women can typically hold for between one and two minutes." No. It's not what you think - it's even better   (thetakeout.com) divider line
    More: Giggity, Competition, Beer stein, Competitor analysis, official competition rules, Perfect competition, Stein, average lager, Human  
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8858 clicks; posted to Main » and Food » on 09 Sep 2021 at 9:05 AM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



53 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-09-09 8:59:16 AM  
But then your beer gets warm...
 
2021-09-09 9:06:54 AM  
I knew immediately it wasn't about sex because headline said women didn't last as long. . .
 
2021-09-09 9:10:30 AM  
I tend to avoid anything that is German and requires you to hold your arm out straight.
 
2021-09-09 9:12:09 AM  
Leave it to the Germans to turn getting left hanging for a toast into a competition.
 
2021-09-09 9:12:13 AM  
The proper use of a beer stein is to hold the beer whileyou drink it.

/I though Germans understood this
//especially at Oktoberfest
 
2021-09-09 9:15:49 AM  
I bet survivors of Catholic parochial schools do best of all.
 
2021-09-09 9:19:32 AM  

Rigby-Reardon: I tend to avoid anything that is German and requires you to hold your arm out straight.


A Challenger appears!
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-09 9:20:32 AM  
ssusa.orgView Full Size


No problem
 
2021-09-09 9:25:19 AM  
my Bro-in-law accidentally won one of these competitions.  Really really pissed off a bunch of drunk burly guys.


/No, I'm not editing that last sentence.  Have it it, farkers!
 
2021-09-09 9:25:42 AM  
"Alex, ill take 'Things White Dummies Do' for a thousand."
 
2021-09-09 9:28:22 AM  
I've been training for this since I was 13.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-09 9:28:56 AM  

Boojum2k: I knew immediately it wasn't about sex because headline said women didn't last as long. . .


I dated a woman years ago that reached climax too easily and too soon. She was like a 13 year old boy in that respect. Sometimes I didn't even get her naked before she climaxed. Luckily women don't have the rebound time us guys do.
 
2021-09-09 9:31:02 AM  
A sport that favors strength and endurance and short arms? Everything's coming up Milhouse.
 
2021-09-09 9:31:09 AM  
Subby, if you think holding beer is better than sex then... well... I pity you.

Orgasms are the best thing in life. They have more kick than any booze or drug high, and getting there is way more fun than drunkenly sharing your dumber-most secrets with your drinking buddies or trying to score the drug of your choice.
 
2021-09-09 9:35:31 AM  
For those of you who want to try this at home the official stein-holding rules state that the stein and beer must weigh approximately 3 pounds.    I am going to try this because I am a dork that can't resist a beer or a challenge.
 
2021-09-09 9:37:20 AM  

brap: For those of you who want to try this at home the official stein-holding rules state that the stein and beer must weigh approximately 3 pounds.    I am going to try this because I am a dork that can't resist a beer or a challenge.


Here, the challenge is resisting the beer (and it's gravity).

Difficulty level: Pro
 
2021-09-09 9:42:53 AM  
I thought Munich cancelled Oktoberfest this year because of the Coof.
 
2021-09-09 9:43:25 AM  
It's interesting how unusually weak those muscles that keep your arm in that position actually are
 
2021-09-09 9:48:43 AM  

Harry Wagstaff: She was like a 13 year old boy


phrasing
 
2021-09-09 9:52:43 AM  
Women can hold for as long as they want, really.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-09 9:54:55 AM  
I only lasted three minutes, but I made sure to lick the stein to completion before making my attempt.
 
2021-09-09 9:57:55 AM  

Zasteva: Here, the challenge is resisting the beer (and it's gravity).


Yes. Yes it is
 
2021-09-09 10:09:16 AM  

AAAAGGGGHHHH: I thought Munich cancelled Oktoberfest this year because of the Coof.


They did.
 
2021-09-09 10:17:02 AM  

Zasteva: The proper use of a beer stein is to hold the beer whileyou drink it.

/I though Germans understood this
//especially at Oktoberfest


Oktoberfest's been cancelled. The Bavarian out front should have told you.
 
2021-09-09 10:24:39 AM  

AAAAGGGGHHHH: I thought Munich cancelled Oktoberfest this year because of the Coof.


I thought the chance to munich the coof was half the reason Oktoberfest is a thing.
 
2021-09-09 10:26:57 AM  
We used to do this at stag nights but with a 15 pack of bottles and both arms holding it straight out.
 
2021-09-09 10:28:16 AM  

berylman: It's interesting how unusually weak those muscles that keep your arm in that position actually are


It's not that the shoulder muscles are weak, it's the leverage of the arm and their lack of mechanical advantage. The shoulder is a third class lever which means the load has mechanical advantage. It takes much more force to move a load with a third class lever than a first or second. First and second class levers are force multipliers. The advantage of a third class lever is that it is a speed multiplier instead of a force multiplier. It's why pitchers can throw fast balls approaching 100mph, but probably can't hold a 3lb beer stein outstretched longer that 5 minutes.
 
2021-09-09 10:33:35 AM  

The Smails Kid: [ssusa.org image 850x478]

No problem


I don't know what I'm looking at but in my head it's a shooting competition where shake weights are taped to the guns.
 
2021-09-09 10:43:22 AM  
If you are able to hold a stein for longer than four hours, please seek medical attention.
 
2021-09-09 10:50:11 AM  
My stein isn't that big......
 
2021-09-09 11:22:24 AM  
You need to meditate. Think of a good time in your life.  Scroll to 36:10
(106) Tribes - Complete Movie (1970) - YouTube
 
2021-09-09 11:26:05 AM  

brap: For those of you who want to try this at home the official stein-holding rules state that the stein and beer must weigh approximately 3 pounds.    I am going to try this because I am a dork that can't resist a beer or a challenge.


FTA - "the steins are heavy (about three pounds each prior to being filled". Adding a pint of beer will take it to about 4lbs.
 
2021-09-09 11:33:17 AM  
Time for those German beer drinking songs. Old favorites like 'my mother smears butter all along the walls'. Because mutter rhymes with butter and...uh...wall?
 
2021-09-09 11:37:44 AM  
I've done it before at the Hofbrauhaus in Las Vegas...twice, IIRC.

/Won during my second attempt.
//My prize was a liter mug.
 
2021-09-09 12:00:24 PM  

ottebx: brap: For those of you who want to try this at home the official stein-holding rules state that the stein and beer must weigh approximately 3 pounds.    I am going to try this because I am a dork that can't resist a beer or a challenge.

FTA - "the steins are heavy (about three pounds each prior to being filled". Adding a pint liter of beer will take it to about 4 5.2lbs.


FTFM after I looked it up. I mistook a pint for a liter.
 
2021-09-09 12:20:32 PM  

The_Sponge: liter


no one likes liters.
 
2021-09-09 12:27:08 PM  
live.staticflickr.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-09 12:36:05 PM  
Well, I know one guy who's never going to win this:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-09 1:01:30 PM  

ottebx: brap: For those of you who want to try this at home the official stein-holding rules state that the stein and beer must weigh approximately 3 pounds.    I am going to try this because I am a dork that can't resist a beer or a challenge.

FTA - "the steins are heavy (about three pounds each prior to being filled". Adding a pint of beer will take it to about 4lbs.


A pint's a pound the world around.
 
2021-09-09 1:09:34 PM  

Rigby-Reardon: I tend to avoid anything that is German and requires you to hold your arm out straight.


Murcans love alcoholism too.
 
2021-09-09 1:12:02 PM  

brap: I only lasted three minutes, but I made sure to lick the stein to completion before making my attempt.


Somebody has too much free time.....
 
2021-09-09 1:20:02 PM  

woodjf: We used to do this at stag nights but with a 15 pack of bottles and both arms holding it straight out.


You and Barney Rubble and the boys?
 
2021-09-09 1:23:39 PM  

ottebx: ottebx: brap: For those of you who want to try this at home the official stein-holding rules state that the stein and beer must weigh approximately 3 pounds.    I am going to try this because I am a dork that can't resist a beer or a challenge.

FTA - "the steins are heavy (about three pounds each prior to being filled". Adding a pint liter of beer will take it to about 4 5.2lbs.

FTFM after I looked it up. I mistook a pint for a liter.


Protip - A pint is liter than other some other fluid measurements.
 
2021-09-09 1:30:57 PM  
So in America you've developed a competition to see how long you can hold your beer at arm's length?

Doesn't that completely miss the point?

Also, is there anything that America can't make unpleasantly competitive?
 
2021-09-09 2:00:19 PM  

mungo: So in America you've developed a competition to see how long you can hold your beer at arm's length?

Doesn't that completely miss the point?

Also, is there anything that America can't make unpleasantly competitive?


"In this traditional Bavarian strength contest"

So tell us, what state do you think Bavaria is in?

/Besides "inebriated"
 
2021-09-09 2:33:10 PM  

yakmans_dad: A pint's a pound the world around.


16 oz. each, but the former is volume, the later weight. They match for pure water but not with solutes which make liquids heavier although the alcohol% will make it lighter

testosteronephobe: Protip - A pint is liter than other some other fluid measurements.


A liter is 1.05669 quarts or a little more than twice as much as a pint
 
2021-09-09 3:20:49 PM  

mungo: So in America you've developed a competition to see how long you can hold your beer at arm's length?

Doesn't that completely miss the point?

Also, is there anything that America can't make unpleasantly competitive?


Sneezing. Laundry. Counting backwards from 100. Egg nog.
 
2021-09-09 3:59:14 PM  
If it isn't a rule that you have to successfully chug the beer at the end, it should be.
 
2021-09-09 5:22:15 PM  

mekkab: The_Sponge: liter

no one likes liters.


Lulz...well done.
 
2021-09-09 7:03:46 PM  
A liter of beer weighs roughly a kilogram.
 
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