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(Boing Boing)   Release the iguanas   (boingboing.net) divider line
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2921 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Sep 2021 at 11:20 AM (10 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



33 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-09-09 10:44:49 AM  
"Smithers, release the iguanas!"
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2021-09-09 11:06:30 AM  
ih1.redbubble.netView Full Size
 
2021-09-09 11:20:46 AM  
Son of a biatch I wish I could still get SoBe
 
2021-09-09 11:22:49 AM  
Thats nothing.

Gene Walmart was known to employ an elite squad of trained attack ferrets.
 
2021-09-09 11:22:53 AM  
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-09 11:27:14 AM  
Don't remember it being a horror film...

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2021-09-09 11:27:50 AM  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-09 11:28:27 AM  
grantland.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-09 11:29:28 AM  
He had trained them, on another command, to attack a target to kill. It was an appalling example to the Cubans of the degeneracy of the idle rich.

"Idle" rich? He trained them to kill on command! I'd say that shows gumption and stick-to-itiveness.
 
2021-09-09 11:29:51 AM  
but who do we go to, with hat in hand, when the locusts descend?  that's right baby.
Du Pont
Du Pont,
Du Pont
 
2021-09-09 11:32:57 AM  
Going to call horse shiat on this. Iguanas can't be trained like this, it's just not how they work. They can be trained to react certain ways, like target-training for food so they know when they're being fed as opposed to being handled, but you're never going to train an Iguana to follow attack commands or stand at attention or anything.
 
2021-09-09 11:33:53 AM  
FTA: "It was an appalling example to the Cubans of the degeneracy of the idle rich."

The man trained a brigade of attack iguanas?  You can call him a lot of things but I don't think you can call him "idle." That had to take a serious amount of time, effort, and dedication.
 
2021-09-09 11:34:54 AM  

Walker: "Smithers, release the iguanas!"
[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 275x183]


Or the bees. Or the iguanas with bees in their mouths, and when they hiss, they shoot bees at you.
 
2021-09-09 11:39:50 AM  
Did he train them how to use a crossbow as well?

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2021-09-09 11:40:20 AM  
Unless he had hundreds of them, I'm not going to be very afraid of iguanas.
Not to mention, as noted above, you can't train them. Naybe get them used to certain things
 
2021-09-09 11:41:11 AM  
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2021-09-09 11:53:06 AM  

zbtop: Going to call horse shiat on this. Iguanas can't be trained like this, it's just not how they work. They can be trained to react certain ways, like target-training for food so they know when they're being fed as opposed to being handled, but you're never going to train an Iguana to follow attack commands or stand at attention or anything.


I'll just add...

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2021-09-09 11:56:38 AM  

swahnhennessy: Unless he had hundreds of them, I'm not going to be very afraid of iguanas.
Not to mention, as noted above, you can't train them. Naybe get them used to certain things


Can you train komodo dragons?
That would be cool.
 
2021-09-09 11:58:13 AM  

lurkey: swahnhennessy: Unless he had hundreds of them, I'm not going to be very afraid of iguanas.
Not to mention, as noted above, you can't train them. Naybe get them used to certain things

Can you train komodo dragons?
That would be cool.


You wouldn't need to. Just keep them hungry.
 
2021-09-09 12:15:35 PM  

Marcos P: Son of a biatch I wish I could still get SoBe


This young gal comes in to my place of business one summer and shows off her flat tummy and cute little lizard tats.
If they had been stars, well... you know.

And I said, How much did SOBE pay you do do that?

What?

Sobe. Aisle 4, drinks.
Their logo.

What?

You paid someone to put a corporate logo on your body.
Twice.

What?

*runs down aisle 4 --- comes back sobbing*
 
2021-09-09 12:15:40 PM  

zbtop: Going to call horse shiat on this. Iguanas can't be trained like this, it's just not how they work. They can be trained to react certain ways, like target-training for food so they know when they're being fed as opposed to being handled, but you're never going to train an Iguana to follow attack commands or stand at attention or anything.


No, it's true. I read it on BoingBoing
 
2021-09-09 12:16:06 PM  
I wonder what James Bond quipped as he foiled du Pont's plan and fed him to his own iguanas
 
2021-09-09 12:22:43 PM  

Mega Steve: I wonder what James Bond quipped as he foiled du Pont's plan and fed him to his own iguanas


"I'd call that a reptile dysfunction."
 
2021-09-09 12:32:31 PM  
You come to me on the day of my daughter's wedding...

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2021-09-09 12:34:34 PM  

Marcos P: Son of a biatch I wish I could still get SoBe


The first step is to admit you have a problem.
 
2021-09-09 12:40:42 PM  

Pert: Marcos P: Son of a biatch I wish I could still get SoBe

The first step is to admit you have a problem.


Orbitz?
 
2021-09-09 12:53:49 PM  

vudukungfu: Marcos P: Son of a biatch I wish I could still get SoBe

This young gal comes in to my place of business one summer and shows off her flat tummy and cute little lizard tats.
If they had been stars, well... you know.

And I said, How much did SOBE pay you do do that?

What?

Sobe. Aisle 4, drinks.
Their logo.

What?

You paid someone to put a corporate logo on your body.
Twice.

What?

*runs down aisle 4 --- comes back sobbing*


That's good internet right there
 
2021-09-09 1:10:54 PM  
Be forewarned, the following picture will haunt the dreams of your grandchildren's grandchildren's children.  (But not their children)  Turn away!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-09 1:36:52 PM  
I call BS.

I'm sure some rich ass had iguanas trained to do tricks.  I know iguana bites and especially the tail can hurt you.

But iguanas are herbivorous.  They're not predators in any way, shape, or form.  No way anyone trained them to "attack" anything except a pile of lettuce.
 
2021-09-09 1:49:50 PM  
Long time ago our iguana launched himself at my xgf who was putting a bowl of food in his cage. Farker jumped about 7 feet and took a silver dollar sized peice out of the top of her wrist. He narrowly avoided being roasted for dinner, we gave him to the berkeley vivarium, sold the cage, and that was the end of the exotic reptile pet fad for us...
 
2021-09-09 2:43:48 PM  

coffeetime: Be forewarned, the following picture will haunt the dreams of your grandchildren's grandchildren's children.  (But not their children)  Turn away!

[Fark user image image 850x1274]


I'll be in my bunk.

What?
 
2021-09-09 2:55:10 PM  
My old iguana, Grumpy, used to go gaga for red kidney beans (veg protein source). She'd come a runnin'!

So, if you sprinkled kidney beans or some other highly attractive food on the unwanted person, the act of climbing to reach the food would cause wicked bloody slashes and punctures. Their claws are incredibly sharp, comparable to cat claws.

I'm not sure if that qualifies as true training though, or just using a natural behavior.
 
2021-09-09 7:44:41 PM  
Usually when marketing a book you lead with the hard hitting central points, not the utter bullshiat.
 
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