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(MLive.com)   Amazing "Game of Thrones" type home goes up for sale with drawbridge, moat, and secret passages. Dragon claw marks and burnt peasant outlines convey with the property   (mlive.com) divider line
    More: Cool, Rooms, Castle, top of a hill, winding road, taste of the home, Wrought iron, gated community, Mackinac Island  
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5229 clicks; posted to Main » and Fandom » on 07 Sep 2021 at 1:20 PM (18 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-09-07 12:39:10 PM  
All that money and they displayed a cheese-ball fake-ass pop rivetted suit of not-armor.

Weak sauce.
 
2021-09-07 1:09:29 PM  
Neat!
 
2021-09-07 1:24:20 PM  
Do people these days not know what a castle is, without referencing GoT?
 
2021-09-07 1:24:39 PM  
Located at 2009 Victoria Hill Drive in Rochester in Metro Detroit and for sale for $2.29 million, this 10,790-square-foot castle sits on more than 6 acres and is surrounded by a wrought iron fence and two gated towers.

The description doesn't say anything about a sex dungeon. I'm not paying that kind of money if there's no sex dungeon.
 
2021-09-07 1:24:39 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-07 1:25:15 PM  
Whoever buys this house has to get a mini-dobie & name him Balrog.
 
2021-09-07 1:26:31 PM  
There's also a secret underground grotto with Jacuzzi, a hidden dungeon

And, I assume, a herpes de-con station somewhere close.
 
2021-09-07 1:26:41 PM  
I have always wanted a moat
 
2021-09-07 1:27:04 PM  

JessieL: Do people these days not know what a castle is, without referencing GoT?


No
 
2021-09-07 1:27:43 PM  

hissatsu: Located at 2009 Victoria Hill Drive in Rochester in Metro Detroit and for sale for $2.29 million, this 10,790-square-foot castle sits on more than 6 acres and is surrounded by a wrought iron fence and two gated towers.

The description doesn't say anything about a sex dungeon. I'm not paying that kind of money if there's no sex dungeon.


Every room's a sex dungeon if you're brave enough.
 
2021-09-07 1:29:46 PM  

EatHam: I have always wanted a moat


Then I moot that you meet with a moat guy. 'Twere meet.

/ 'strooth
 
2021-09-07 1:30:38 PM  
If you live there longer than 7 years, the place catches on fire and destroys everything that made you want to buy it in the first place.
 
2021-09-07 1:33:53 PM  

Herr Morgenstern: hissatsu: Located at 2009 Victoria Hill Drive in Rochester in Metro Detroit and for sale for $2.29 million, this 10,790-square-foot castle sits on more than 6 acres and is surrounded by a wrought iron fence and two gated towers.

The description doesn't say anything about a sex dungeon. I'm not paying that kind of money if there's no sex dungeon.

Every room's a sex dungeon if you're brave enough.


Sorry, if there isn't hideous red and black upholstery and garish neon-colored lighting (and the usual assortment or restraints, manacles, gags, gimp suits, whips, chains, etc.) I just can't get in the mood.
 
2021-09-07 1:41:44 PM  
This is one of those things that actually shows a pretty curious aspect of human perception, and how it's based so many more things than actual reality.

If this was absolutely identical... but a 1750s Scottish castle, it would be a National Trust property and treasured by the nation.

Given it's a 1990s property (even though apparently built with proper materials) it comes across as a tasteless Disney-esque gaudy monstrosity.

But, in every aspect bar time, functionally identical.

The human brain is an odd thing.
 
2021-09-07 1:42:29 PM  
I like the Last Season Garden Maze.  Goes nowhere, pisses everyone off.
 
2021-09-07 1:42:42 PM  
$2.29 million, this 10,790-square-foot castle sits on more than 6 acres
So what's the catch, is the place built on an Indian burial ground?
 
2021-09-07 1:42:42 PM  
it's not a castle. it's a modern home with the veneer of what some decorator thinks a castle looks like.  basically it is the home equivalent of a mazda with a faux-ferrari body kit.

also it can't be "Game of Thrones" like unless someone was brutally killed there or someone donked a family member.
 
2021-09-07 1:43:04 PM  
I know a guy who built a castle on Lookout Mountain, in Colorado. He bought the land for like twenty bucks back in the year zero. It is a full-ass castle - turrets, hidden passages, moat, antique furniture, you name it. Sadly, I can't find pictures of it - I know he used to rent it out, but stopped when some people trashed the place.

Bonus - he looks like this:
weeklyregistercall.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-07 1:43:26 PM  
When late-night-infomercial-katana buyers get rich.
 
2021-09-07 1:44:13 PM  
That's a pretty good price considering the workmanship, materials, etc.
Top notch!
Could hang out and not see my spouse for days.
"Sorry, I was downstairs in the sportsbarmancavedungeon shooting pool with some buddies. Yeah they've been here for a week, why?
 
2021-09-07 1:45:22 PM  
Fails without a batcave
 
2021-09-07 1:46:47 PM  
Don't know the neighbourhood but that's 10x the price in the residential area where I live. Not a GOT fan but I  like it.
 
2021-09-07 1:49:00 PM  
Meh. Neuschwanstein, it ain't.
 
2021-09-07 1:52:22 PM  
Hate it all you want, I dig it. Yes its a little gaudy, but you want to know what?
Its unique however you slice it.

Id live there and host same damn good DnD sessions, maybe even make a youtube career out of it.

The dungeon and whatnot is just icing, breakout the sexpositive kinky gatherings.
 
2021-09-07 1:53:53 PM  
Wow, that place is big! A bit over 10,000 sq feet, but it does seem odd that they are only asking 2.29 million for it. I wonder what the catch is for this one?
 
2021-09-07 1:56:39 PM  
You can have your own castle built

https://castlemagic.com/

Just look at that late 90s web design, if they can build something that medieval they can build a castle.
 
2021-09-07 1:58:22 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-07 1:58:40 PM  

tom baker's scarf: it's not a castle. it's a modern home with the veneer of what some decorator thinks a castle looks like.  basically it is the home equivalent of a mazda with a faux-ferrari body kit.


Enjoy your dysentery and astronomical mechanic's bills.

I'll take the fakes and be real happy.
 
2021-09-07 1:58:58 PM  

dothemath: There's also a secret underground grotto with Jacuzzi, a hidden dungeon

And, I assume, a herpes de-con station somewhere close.


Is it really a secret if there are pictures?

And not for nothing, but I'm not sure how restful a night I'd have in the Red Wedding themed bedroom. It looks like being in the middle of a red velvet cake.
 
2021-09-07 1:59:22 PM  
Winter is coming, after all.
 
2021-09-07 2:00:11 PM  
I like the pub. A lot of it looks fake, probably because it hasn't had centuries of weathering.
 
2021-09-07 2:03:19 PM  

OK So Amuse Me: Wow, that place is big! A bit over 10,000 sq feet, but it does seem odd that they are only asking 2.29 million for it. I wonder what the catch is for this one?


It's in Detroit.
 
2021-09-07 2:05:14 PM  

HanShotFirst: If you live there longer than 7 years, the place catches on fire and destroys everything that made you want to buy it in the first place.


Well the first castle built here sank into the swamp. So they built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So they built a third. In seven years it will burn down, fall over, then sink into the swamp. But the fourth one will stay up.
 
2021-09-07 2:09:36 PM  

tom baker's scarf: it's not a castle. it's a modern home with the veneer of what some decorator thinks a castle looks like.  basically it is the home equivalent of a mazda with a faux-ferrari body kit.

also it can't be "Game of Thrones" like unless someone was brutally killed there or someone donked a family member.


Actually, it's a Tudor style home with some castle flourishes.

If it was a castle, the interior walls would all be stone.
 
2021-09-07 2:10:04 PM  
Looking at the roof it looks more like a facility than a castle or even a home. Like a soundstage with a castle set constructed in it. Exactly like the buildings in Main Street USA and Disney World.
 
2021-09-07 2:11:09 PM  

groppet: You can have your own castle built

https://castlemagic.com/

Just look at that late 90s web design, if they can build something that medieval they can build a castle.


Spanish Castle Magic?
 
2021-09-07 2:11:17 PM  

bababa: OK So Amuse Me: Wow, that place is big! A bit over 10,000 sq feet, but it does seem odd that they are only asking 2.29 million for it. I wonder what the catch is for this one?

It's in Detroit.


LOL I guess that would do it then!
 
2021-09-07 2:11:40 PM  

thornhill: tom baker's scarf: it's not a castle. it's a modern home with the veneer of what some decorator thinks a castle looks like.  basically it is the home equivalent of a mazda with a faux-ferrari body kit.

also it can't be "Game of Thrones" like unless someone was brutally killed there or someone donked a family member.

Actually, it's a Tudor style home with some castle flourishes.

If it was a castle, the interior walls would all be stone.


Everybody's a critic.
 
2021-09-07 2:13:59 PM  
If I had the money, I'd buy it and manage it as a B&B or event location.

100 special events a year at $2000 an event and 100 B&B nights at $1500 a night and it would pay for itself over 10-20 years. That would be a full time job for 3 or 4 people though.

One to cook, one to clean, one to plan and do guest relations, one to handle the money.
 
2021-09-07 2:14:43 PM  
Pretty cool. I was half-expecting something more like the average Fark real estate listing, which is "Some kid suddenly started making $75k a year and blew it all on plastic medieval-looking statues for his two-bedroom suburban house."
 
2021-09-07 2:18:46 PM  

TofuTheAlmighty: $2.29 million, this 10,790-square-foot castle sits on more than 6 acresSo what's the catch, is the place built on an Indian burial ground?


Proximity to Detroit
 
2021-09-07 2:24:47 PM  

Yellow Beard: TofuTheAlmighty: $2.29 million, this 10,790-square-foot castle sits on more than 6 acresSo what's the catch, is the place built on an Indian burial ground?

Proximity to Detroit


An hour away.  Rochester is an hour from most everything.
 
2021-09-07 2:25:14 PM  
Does the house come with Sansa ?  Because I would.
Heyyyyooooooooooooo
 
2021-09-07 2:25:23 PM  

padraig: When late-night-infomercial-katana buyers get rich.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-07 2:25:42 PM  

Dr Jack Badofsky: thornhill: tom baker's scarf: it's not a castle. it's a modern home with the veneer of what some decorator thinks a castle looks like.  basically it is the home equivalent of a mazda with a faux-ferrari body kit.

also it can't be "Game of Thrones" like unless someone was brutally killed there or someone donked a family member.

Actually, it's a Tudor style home with some castle flourishes.

If it was a castle, the interior walls would all be stone.

Everybody's a critic.


This is something factual. It's Tudor style. Google it.
 
2021-09-07 2:25:53 PM  

JessieL: tom baker's scarf: it's not a castle. it's a modern home with the veneer of what some decorator thinks a castle looks like.  basically it is the home equivalent of a mazda with a faux-ferrari body kit.

Enjoy your dysentery and astronomical mechanic's bills.

I'll take the fakes and be real happy.


i'll never own a ferrai, i'm not even a fan of them but i really hate people pretending\insisting a thing is something other than it is.  if you have a mazda just let it be that.  it's perfectly fine and i've never seen a body conversion that didn't look cheap and ugly let alone be even remotely convincing. also, it inevitably makes the performance of the car worse.
 
2021-09-07 2:28:15 PM  

alizeran: padraig: When late-night-infomercial-katana buyers get rich.

[Fark user image 634x627]


If "trying too hard" became a person.
 
2021-09-07 2:28:35 PM  
Beware the HOA, they're essentially Dothraki.
 
2021-09-07 2:30:22 PM  

elvindeath: Yellow Beard: TofuTheAlmighty: $2.29 million, this 10,790-square-foot castle sits on more than 6 acresSo what's the catch, is the place built on an Indian burial ground?

Proximity to Detroit

An hour away.  Rochester is an hour from most everything.


Still way too close for a lot of people.
 
2021-09-07 2:31:34 PM  

Dr Jack Badofsky: thornhill: tom baker's scarf: it's not a castle. it's a modern home with the veneer of what some decorator thinks a castle looks like.  basically it is the home equivalent of a mazda with a faux-ferrari body kit.

also it can't be "Game of Thrones" like unless someone was brutally killed there or someone donked a family member.

Actually, it's a Tudor style home with some castle flourishes.

If it was a castle, the interior walls would all be stone.

Everybody's a critic.


even the guy who critiqued my critique even though his critique of my critique affirmed my critique.
 
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