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(CNN)   Authorities still don't know what killed a family of three along a California hiking trail, and have now closed down the whole area because of "unknown hazards." I saw this X-Files episode. It ends badly   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Followup, Sheriff, Merced County, California, Algal bloom, Coroner, Police, Death, Yosemite National Park, Autopsy  
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2725 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Sep 2021 at 10:10 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



149 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-09-01 8:41:56 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-01 9:25:14 AM  

leeksfromchichis: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 698x439]


It couldn't be that.  I think their beef jerky was still in the backpack.
 
2021-09-01 9:54:00 AM  
I'll bet tainted water... that is just incredibly sad.
 
2021-09-01 10:13:22 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-01 10:13:33 AM  
I wish Unsolved Mysteries was still on.  Then I could watch all about it (about seven years from now) with dramatic reenactments and music.
 
2021-09-01 10:13:46 AM  
d2z1w4aiblvrwu.cloudfront.netView Full Size

Last known photo.
 
2021-09-01 10:14:45 AM  
It was the salmon mousse.

/Never used canned salmon.
 
2021-09-01 10:15:14 AM  
Why do we even allow hiking?  It is dangerous.  People should live in the pod and work in the pod.  If they need to go hiking, have them put on VR goggles and fire up the hiking sim.

Problem solved.
 
2021-09-01 10:15:39 AM  
I just remembered, I had the fish too.
 
2021-09-01 10:15:48 AM  
Why did I think this was Utah?  Stupid brain.
 
2021-09-01 10:16:29 AM  

AmbassadorBooze: Why do we even allow hiking?  It is dangerous.  People should live in the pod and work in the pod.  If they need to go hiking, have them put on VR goggles and fire up the hiking sim.

Problem solved.


media4.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-01 10:17:41 AM  
If conspiracy sites haven't already said that this family was about to blow the lid off the global pedophile ring and they were killed in order to keep them silent -- and I'd be surprised if that notion hasn't already been floated -- then maybe I'll make a sock puppet and get it started. Give it, say, three days and it will be the accepted wisdom in those circles.
 
2021-09-01 10:18:05 AM  
I'm going with...
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2021-09-01 10:18:31 AM  
Just to be clearly I was out of town when that went down.

Shaggy It Wasn't Me (Official Music Video) (uncensored)
Youtube T_x6QmuJdms
 
2021-09-01 10:18:57 AM  
I'm just relieved the cliched phrase "out of an abundance of caution" was not invoked in explaining why the trail was closed. Seems weird they would be drinking untreated water with a potential algal bloom on a day hike unless they didn't pack enough and got seriously dehydrated.
 
2021-09-01 10:19:40 AM  

Shotgun Justice: I wish Unsolved Mysteries was still on.  Then I could watch all about it (about seven years from now) with dramatic reenactments and music.


Nah. If you want the truth, all the truth, and nothing but the truth:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-01 10:19:43 AM  
Angry ents. Better burn down the rest of the forest to be safe.
 
2021-09-01 10:20:07 AM  

NewportBarGuy: I'll bet tainted water... that is just incredibly sad.


I'm going with tainted love, because that always gets stuck in my head.
 
2021-09-01 10:20:40 AM  
Family of three lost hiking? C'mon, people, the evidence could not be more clear.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-01 10:21:53 AM  
Unsolved Mysteries - Opening Theme (HQ Audio)
Youtube JnOeIFx3ML8
"In August 2021, Jonathan Gerrish, Ellen Chung, their 1-year-old daughter and their loyal dog left their home for what was supposed to be a quiet hike at Yosemite national park. Instead, it was the last time any of them were seen alive. What was supposed to be a fun family outing turned into a baffling mystery that authorities are still puzzled by. Join us as we investigate what might have happened to this loving family on that fateful day. Maybe you can help solve a mystery..."
 
2021-09-01 10:22:25 AM  
It was an assassination.
 
2021-09-01 10:24:38 AM  

Bslim: It was an assassination.


Including the dog?
 
2021-09-01 10:24:40 AM  

AmbassadorBooze: Why do we even allow hiking?  It is dangerous.  People should live in the pod and work in the pod.  If they need to go hiking, have them put on VR goggles and fire up the hiking sim.

Problem solved.


pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-09-01 10:26:30 AM  
Could a lightning strike at the right distance be enough to stop hearts without leaving any physical marks?
 
2021-09-01 10:26:46 AM  
samples of the drinking water the family packed -- have been sent to labs for testing.


Jeez, whenever a hot asian girl bites it they really spare no expense trying to figure out who fu*ked up.
 
2021-09-01 10:26:46 AM  
Yeah, the 'toxic mine gasses' thing was not making sense. As I've said before, going to have to wait for the toxicology report for any kind of conclusions.
 
2021-09-01 10:27:07 AM  

kabloink: Bslim: It was an assassination.

Including the dog?


Especially the dog.
 
2021-09-01 10:27:56 AM  
Also this reminds me of like the beginning of a Sci Fi channel original movie, where the investigation into a mysterious death reveals that they were killed by toxic gas from the impending Yosemite Supervolcano, so the local sheriff teams up with a sexy volcanologist and a wacky conspiracy theorist to try to warn the thick headed authorities about the impending doom about to befall everyone, but their warning falls on deaf ears and then there's a bunch of really shiatty CGI scenes where the volcano destroys everything on Earth
 
2021-09-01 10:28:11 AM  
ktla.comView Full Size

The Jedi Council is currently in deliberations to find a replacement for their baby.
 
2021-09-01 10:28:50 AM  

kabloink: Bslim: It was an assassination.

Including the dog?


That was the target. The other two were witnesses.
 
2021-09-01 10:28:58 AM  
Time to dust off the Holy Hand Grenade.
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2021-09-01 10:29:04 AM  

dothemath: hot asian girl


Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-01 10:29:35 AM  

kabloink: Bslim: It was an assassination.

Including the dog?


Dogs have been used as murder witnesses before.
 
2021-09-01 10:30:15 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: dothemath: hot asian girl

[Fark user image image 850x478]

[Fark user image image 850x353]


What the actual fark is that baby wearing?
 
2021-09-01 10:30:34 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: dothemath: hot asian girl



The bar is admittedly low for American chicks.

Lets downgrade her from "hot" to "not fat at least".
 
2021-09-01 10:31:10 AM  

big pig peaches: kabloink: Bslim: It was an assassination.

Including the dog?

Dogs have been used as murder witnesses before.


Who makes their dog watch the murder?
 
2021-09-01 10:32:14 AM  

AmbassadorBooze: Why do we even allow hiking?  It is dangerous.  People should live in the pod and work in the pod.  If they need to go hiking, have them put on VR goggles and fire up the hiking sim.

Problem solved.


Fine by me.  Hell is other people.
 
2021-09-01 10:32:21 AM  
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2021-09-01 10:33:25 AM  

40 degree day: Prank Call of Cthulhu: dothemath: hot asian girl

[Fark user image image 850x478]

[Fark user image image 850x353]

What the actual fark is that baby wearing?


Shhh!
Dont make it angry or it will be forced to use its powers!
 
2021-09-01 10:34:59 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-01 10:35:33 AM  

kabloink: Bslim: It was an assassination.

Including the dog?


The dog was primary.
 
2021-09-01 10:36:03 AM  

dothemath: [ktla.com image 850x478]
The Jedi Council is currently in deliberations to find a replacement for their baby.


That's the best joke about a dead baby I've read this week.  Kudos!

/window seat, please
 
2021-09-01 10:36:44 AM  
I thought it was C02emissions from an old mine that killed them? That sucks for them, but hey, free wildfire suppression system!
 
2021-09-01 10:36:54 AM  

NewportBarGuy: I'll bet tainted water... that is just incredibly sad.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-09-01 10:37:00 AM  

wild9: I'm going with...
[Fark user image image 425x318]


You jest, but a seismic based methane or CO2 release was my #1 thought from the start.
 
2021-09-01 10:37:00 AM  

40 degree day: Prank Call of Cthulhu: dothemath: hot asian girl

[Fark user image image 850x478]

[Fark user image image 850x353]

What the actual fark is that baby wearing?


I don't know, but I do know that whatever protective powers they thought it might convey were inadequate.
 
2021-09-01 10:38:11 AM  

imauniter: kabloink: Bslim: It was an assassination.

Including the dog?

That was the target. The other two were witnesses.


The cat did it.
 
2021-09-01 10:38:50 AM  
This story is still pretty weird.  The two ideas were some sort of mine gas or that toxic algae.  Maybe the toxicology report will indicate something.
 
2021-09-01 10:41:12 AM  
i1.sndcdn.comView Full Size


The only explanation that makes sense.
 
2021-09-01 10:41:28 AM  

Warthog: dothemath: [ktla.com image 850x478]
The Jedi Council is currently in deliberations to find a replacement for their baby.

That's the best joke about a dead baby I've read this week.  Kudos!

/window seat, please


Fark user imageView Full Size

Dont worry Eddie Murphy is taking good care of him.
 
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