Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(RedState)   Conservative propaganda mill opinion writer is very concerned a college's new mascot isn't gender identified or something   (redstate.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, New York City, Atlantic Ocean, Arctic, new mascot, Cleveland's Major League Baseball franchise, Best Colleges, National Oceanic, Meet Gnarls Narwhal  
•       •       •

2757 clicks; posted to Politics » on 26 Aug 2021 at 10:49 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



120 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2021-08-26 8:58:26 AM  
Redstate, not even once.
 
2021-08-26 9:00:28 AM  
I would like to find out who finances this f*cking garbage and bankrupt them.
 
2021-08-26 9:17:28 AM  
New mascot incoming...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-26 9:51:49 AM  
Look, if you want to look down Gritty's shorts, you're a braver person than me.
 
2021-08-26 9:55:37 AM  
He's outraged over something that didn't even happen. The press release he's upset over didn't say a word about gender.

FTFA
At least, I assume that's the case - animals don't have genders. "Man" and "woman" are human distinctions.

Hence, the salt water swimmer must be sexless.

Either way, Gnarls may be the only mascot with preferred pronouns.


The only thing worse than this pathetic dipshiat are the Red Smate readers who will read this drivel and nod sagely.
 
2021-08-26 10:01:57 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


I wouldn't mess with narwhals.
 
2021-08-26 10:03:55 AM  
Really, REDSTATE's new mascot should be a row of big, thicc, veiny, black cocks with pearly white cum. That way it can be my personal erotica site.

/happy scrappy hero pup
 
2021-08-26 10:41:58 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


if I found this take in the wild I would assume it's satire. i'm used to shiatty takes from the right but this is surreal.
 
2021-08-26 10:51:03 AM  
Oh what a precious little snowflake, this conservative opinion writer just melts when presented with something slightly outside his wheelhouse.
 
2021-08-26 10:51:31 AM  
My school's mascot is a color.
 
2021-08-26 10:51:36 AM  
Well he certainly got paid to type words, that's for sure.
 
2021-08-26 10:52:31 AM  
Wait, mascots have genders?
 
2021-08-26 10:52:38 AM  
Fta: "Whether or not that status might christen a sports team "The Fighting Fish," one thing seems sure:..."

That whales are mammals and not fish?
 
2021-08-26 10:53:35 AM  

Arkanaut: My school's mascot is a color.


Mine was a ship's wheel.
 
2021-08-26 10:54:35 AM  
Why does he think anyone would call them "The Fighting Fish", he knows that whales are not fish, right?


oh nevermind
 
2021-08-26 10:55:49 AM  
Nope, not clicking that.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-26 10:57:56 AM  

Arkanaut: My school's mascot is a color.


Any school with a bird as its mascot is probably using the "wrong" gender identifier for them - we've grafted our XX/XY binary onto birds (itself an abstraction that is very generalized, and often wrong), but if XX is female and XY is male (as the genetic purists would have you believe), why are ZZ birds "male" and ZW birds "female"?

// let's call the whole thing off
 
2021-08-26 10:57:59 AM  

HeartBurnKid: Wait, mascots have genders?


A lot of schools have women's teams that are named "Lady [whatever the men's teams are called]", so sort of?
 
2021-08-26 10:58:02 AM  
junkee.comView Full Size
 
2021-08-26 10:58:06 AM  

meat0918: Arkanaut: My school's mascot is a color.

Mine was a ship's wheel.


Robot Chicken Pirates - It's driving me nuts
Youtube f-lu4E246AI
 
2021-08-26 10:58:29 AM  
Wow they're complaining about private schools now. It's almost like they forgot they've championed private institutions doing what ever the fark they like.

Anyway, this guy is probably like all the people that got upset about Mr. Potato head. They want to fark potatoes but are concerned they might accidentally fark a male one and be gay. This guy has a narwhal fetish, but he ain't no homo, you hear? That's against god.
 
2021-08-26 10:59:09 AM  
"they is collateral damage amid climate change:"

They "is" illiterate clowns, at Red State.

Shocked!
 
2021-08-26 11:00:00 AM  
Gnarl Narwals? I think that I'm going to need merch....
 
2021-08-26 11:00:19 AM  
Mine was a Raider. The mascot costume was male but a female student was inside it.
 
2021-08-26 11:00:31 AM  

aug3: Why does he think anyone would call them "The Fighting Fish", he knows that whales are not fish, right?


oh nevermind


He also thinks whales have no sex, so.... yeah.
 
2021-08-26 11:00:32 AM  

HeartBurnKid: Wait, mascots have genders?


Of course. My school mascots have been bobcats, hawks, and owls. Each painstakingly depicted on all school materials with prominent genitalia centered and indicated with arrows and labels.
 
2021-08-26 11:00:42 AM  
I mean, sure, this is a silly thing to get worked up about.  But it's not like there's any major issues facing the United States right now that RedState could weigh in on to fight.  Sure, if there were some sort of right-wing disinformation campaign that is actually causing people to die, daily, they could really make a difference by dispelling these lies from a conservative position.

Sadly, all they have is fighting the cetacean culture war.
 
2021-08-26 11:00:46 AM  
lmfao holy shiat fark accepts submissions from red state. thats just.... wow
 
2021-08-26 11:01:12 AM  

meat0918: Oh what a precious little snowflake, this conservative opinion writer just melts when presented with something slightly outside his wheelhouse.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-26 11:01:27 AM  
Talk to your representatives:

Matt Gaetz : Marjorie Greene :: Beavis : Butthead
Youtube geiqxwr9a6U
 
2021-08-26 11:01:38 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: Wow they're complaining about private schools now. It's almost like they forgot they've championed private institutions doing what ever the fark they like.

Anyway, this guy is probably like all the people that got upset about Mr. Potato head. They want to fark potatoes but are concerned they might accidentally fark a male one and be gay. This guy has a narwhal fetish, but he ain't no homo, you hear? That's against god.


What you need to understand about these people is that they stand for exactly two things:

1: They get to do whatever they want
2: You have to do whatever they want

Anything else they espouse ("small government", "states' rights", etc) is only believed in as long as it serves one of those two ends.  As soon as it no longer does, it is immediately discarded.
 
2021-08-26 11:02:09 AM  
They really have to keep pushing this culture war bullshiat to distract the rubes from noticing they have no actual agenda beyond making people they hate miserable.
 
2021-08-26 11:02:51 AM  
In that spirit, the finned figure is neither male nor female.
At least, I assume that's the case - animals don't have genders. "Man" and "woman" are human distinctions.
Hence, the salt water swimmer must be sexless.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-26 11:03:38 AM  
Who  funds Red State?  Do they even make a profit?
 
2021-08-26 11:03:51 AM  
"Regardless, here's hoping the school will continue to thrive. kick your alma mater's a**
 
2021-08-26 11:04:00 AM  

Dr Dreidel: Arkanaut: My school's mascot is a color.

Any school with a bird as its mascot is probably using the "wrong" gender identifier for them - we've grafted our XX/XY binary onto birds (itself an abstraction that is very generalized, and often wrong), but if XX is female and XY is male (as the genetic purists would have you believe), why are ZZ birds "male" and ZW birds "female"?


Because we tend to assign male traits to the more dominant in sexual pairings, and everyone knows that ZZ Top.
 
2021-08-26 11:04:18 AM  
I'm really starting to dislike how people are now starting to write long form columns as if they were a series of tweets.
 
2021-08-26 11:04:46 AM  

Arkanaut: My school's mascot is a color.


Mine was two adjectives.  Can't be gender-conforming if you're not a noun!
 
2021-08-26 11:05:02 AM  
1.  It's the freaking New School.  Red State is outraged about a school that 95% of Americans have never heard of, and for the people who have, this is entirely on brand.  I expect this from the New School.  Everyone who goes to the New School expects this.  The impact this has on the people who read Red State is nonexistent.

2.  If your problem is "Get to know our mascot, Gnarls Narwhal (they/them)..." then please write an article expressing your outrage at the Indiana Hoosiers (they/them).
 
2021-08-26 11:05:05 AM  

Teddy Brosevelt: lmfao holy shiat fark accepts submissions from red state. thats just.... wow


wtf are you talking about? "submissions"? what is so amazing about a link to Red State that you can't wrap your giant brain around?
 
2021-08-26 11:06:16 AM  
What he didnt mention was that the runner-up mascot isea was throbby the man cock
 
2021-08-26 11:07:44 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-26 11:08:48 AM  

log_jammin: Teddy Brosevelt: lmfao holy shiat fark accepts submissions from red state. thats just.... wow

wtf are you talking about? "submissions"? what is so amazing about a link to Red State that you can't wrap your giant brain around?


hint: read the line in the dark grey part, if you can read.  and the problem with red state is that it is a garbage fascist propaganda mill.  now fark off.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-26 11:09:00 AM  
So a conservative is obsessed with whale dick and whale vagina.
 
2021-08-26 11:09:10 AM  
Look, mascot gender is really important to talk about. How else will I know if it would be gay to masturbate while imagining them?

/RedStateProblems
 
2021-08-26 11:09:13 AM  

Arkanaut: HeartBurnKid: Wait, mascots have genders?

A lot of schools have women's teams that are named "Lady [whatever the men's teams are called]", so sort of?


My college had the bantam, which is a small fighting rooster. This meant a large business for the local tshirt shop producing unauthorized stuff for student groups. I recall the women's riding team had shirts labeling them the Riding Cocks and the women's ro wing team had shirts that said "EVER BEEN BEATEN BY A COCK?" on the back.
 
2021-08-26 11:11:37 AM  
Meanwhile... In an alternate timeline:

"I am offended by the comical size of that Narwhal's shlong."
 
2021-08-26 11:12:23 AM  

Teddy Brosevelt: and the problem with red state is that it is a garbage fascist propaganda mill.  now fark off.


and? how can you mock something if you can't acknowledge it exists?

wait until you find out about fark's history with "free republic". you'll probably break down in tears.
 
2021-08-26 11:13:04 AM  

Rapmaster2000: 1.  It's the freaking New School.  Red State is outraged about a school that 95% of Americans have never heard of, and for the people who have, this is entirely on brand.  I expect this from the New School.  Everyone who goes to the New School expects this.  The impact this has on the people who read Red State is nonexistent.

2.  If your problem is "Get to know our mascot, Gnarls Narwhal (they/them)..." then please write an article expressing your outrage at the Indiana Hoosiers (they/them).


They must be desperate for outrage I'd they have to turn to an old standby like the Nee School.

/Prettiest girl in my sphere of people at college went on to the New School for her PhD in semiotics. She was wicked smaht.
 
2021-08-26 11:13:12 AM  
I went to a diploma mill "Art School" we didn't even have a hackey sack team.


anyways... was watching the "Victor Echo November" episode of The Venture Brothers last night and Dr. Orpheus has a line like " but alas Tuesdays I teach conjuring at The New School"
and I was thinking I need to look up that reference, but thats going to be a biatch to google...then I come here and indirectly get my answer.
 
Displayed 50 of 120 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.