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(NYPost)   You're doing it wrong. "In addition to sealing off Mirza's manhood, the couple also mixed the epoxy with "whitener" and inhaled the mixture for a kick"   (nypost.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Police, Ahmedabad, Friendship, Salman Mirza, Police commissioner, Death, senior Ahmedabad city police officer, Constable  
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4734 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Aug 2021 at 10:35 PM (15 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



73 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-08-25 3:39:37 PM  
McGyvered condom? Damn near killed him.
 
2021-08-25 7:20:45 PM  
Epoxy?

Damn, they must have been on all of the drugs
 
2021-08-25 7:55:29 PM  
There once was a couple named Kelly
Who were forced to walk belly to belly
For alas in their haste
They used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly
 
2021-08-25 8:20:41 PM  
Multiple Organ failure?  I know at least one Organ that failed
 
2021-08-25 8:47:48 PM  
Worth it, had sex.
 
2021-08-25 9:12:35 PM  
Darwin has quite the bingo card, doesn't he?

Good man.
 
2021-08-25 10:02:20 PM  
What, was there no sandwich bag or Saran Wrap available?
 
2021-08-25 10:37:51 PM  
No one got pregnant so it kinda worked...
 
2021-08-25 10:39:08 PM  
Were they doing it on top of a river table?
 
2021-08-25 10:40:02 PM  
Police report that Mirza "died due to multiple organ failure" caused by the MacGyver-style contraceptive.

Slander!  MacGyver's hacks worked.
 
2021-08-25 10:41:19 PM  
"Let's glue your dick shut, honey! It can't possibly go wrong!"
 
2021-08-25 10:41:29 PM  
<eating meatloaf>
<loads the article>
<keeps eating while reading>
<eating slows down and stops>
<blinks>
<pushes chair away from desk>

//<travels north, passing a bard>
 
2021-08-25 10:41:34 PM  
Inhaling epoxy??  That would make an interesting paperweight, or conversation piece:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-25 10:42:15 PM  
I don't think that particular use was highlighted on the warning label.
 
2021-08-25 10:42:52 PM  
You could say it was...
<puts on sunglasses>
Two-Part Epoxy....

//YEEEEAAAAAHHH
 
2021-08-25 10:43:18 PM  
Should have done anal instead. Anal saves lives
 
2021-08-25 10:43:56 PM  
This reads like it came from an email FWD: fwd: FWD: FWF: chain
 
2021-08-25 10:47:27 PM  

common sense is an oxymoron: McGyvered condom? Damn near killed him.


I usually thought of a "McGuyvered condom" as perhaps a Ziploc bag, or at least some plastic cling wrap and an elastic band. Just plain glueing your dick-hole shut? This guy really wanted to get laid.
 
2021-08-25 10:49:18 PM  
People often want hotter sex, but generally they know to avoid actual exothermic reactions.
 
2021-08-25 10:50:52 PM  
Since we're having to tell people not to eat horse paste as a replacement for a covid-19 vaccine, I suppose it's not implausible we'd have to remind people not to superglue your junk as a replacement condom.
 
2021-08-25 10:56:19 PM  

neongoats: No one got pregnant so it kinda worked...


That remains to be seen.

We're stuck waiting, I guess.
 
2021-08-25 10:56:49 PM  
assets.teenvogue.comView Full Size
 
2021-08-25 10:59:39 PM  
There are so many things wrong with that idea. One major thing is where do you think the semen is gonna go? All pipes have a bursting limit. Yours included.
 
2021-08-25 11:02:28 PM  

MythDragon: There are so many things wrong with that idea. One major thing is where do you think the semen is gonna go? All pipes have a bursting limit. Yours included.


Even if he makes it through sex he's still gonna have to pee after a while.
 
2021-08-25 11:02:35 PM  
The following day, Mirza's acquaintance Firoz Shaik discovered the man lying unconscious in shrubs near an apartment complex, whereupon he took him home

Wonder if he had to take the shrubs home too as the epoxy probably had set by that time.
 
2021-08-25 11:04:37 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-25 11:06:21 PM  
No part of this passes the ::ahem:: sniff test.  Didn't happen.
 
2021-08-25 11:07:08 PM  

Somaticasual: <eating meatloaf>
<loads the article>
<keeps eating while reading>
<eating slows down and stops>
<blinks>
<pushes chair away from desk>

//<travels north, passing a bard>


Coulda been worse.
You could have been eating sausage.
Or a corndog, with a bit of mustard on the tip.

// <the gate to the north is locked>
 
2021-08-25 11:08:05 PM  

T-Boy: I don't think that particular use was highlighted on the warning label.


It will be, now.
 
2021-08-25 11:11:00 PM  
I'm surprised they didn't try something from the Kama Suture.
 
2021-08-25 11:15:59 PM  
New York Post?  I'll take $500 for things that didn't happen, Alex.
 
2021-08-25 11:21:57 PM  
NYP is a junk tabloid. Worse than daily mail.
 
2021-08-25 11:23:45 PM  

RaceDTruck: There once was a couple named Kelly
Who were forced to walk belly to belly
For alas in their haste
They used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly


Sublime, simply sublime.
 
2021-08-25 11:26:59 PM  
Thank you Darwin.
 
2021-08-25 11:35:47 PM  
people using epoxy resin as prophylactic : contraception :: people using ivermectin : covid treatment
 
2021-08-25 11:43:49 PM  

MythDragon: There are so many things wrong with that idea. One major thing is where do you think the semen is gonna go? All pipes have a bursting limit. Yours included.


ouch
 
2021-08-25 11:44:28 PM  
Nothing makes sense.  Firstly, epoxy isn't toxic.  If it were myself and millions of others who use it - for construction not sex - would be dead.  Secondly it doesn't get you high so talk of huffing it doesn't make sense

This is a UL dressed up as a news story.
 
2021-08-25 11:44:40 PM  
It's very unlikely that a person could source a resin product that would cause organ failure like this easily.
Even in India.
I am curious as to what the 'whitener' is that they added.
It wasn't caused be the drugs that the article states they were addicted to though.
 
2021-08-25 11:47:25 PM  

roguejuliet: No part of this passes the ::ahem:: sniff test.  Didn't happen.


Americans are eating animal deworming medicine because it has magic properties.

Indians (dot not feather) have to do something to keep ahead in the crazy.
 
2021-08-25 11:49:37 PM  

princhester: Nothing makes sense.  Firstly, epoxy isn't toxic.  If it were myself and millions of others who use it - for construction not sex - would be dead.  Secondly it doesn't get you high so talk of huffing it doesn't make sense

This is a UL dressed up as a news story.


he said he'd try anything once...

once
 
2021-08-25 11:54:39 PM  

itsaback: It's very unlikely that a person could source a resin product that would cause organ failure like this easily.
Even in India.
I am curious as to what the 'whitener' is that they added.
It wasn't caused be the drugs that the article states they were addicted to though.


White-Out, probably.

That stuff can get you high, but would probably kill you first.
 
2021-08-25 11:57:38 PM  

Gyrfalcon: itsaback: It's very unlikely that a person could source a resin product that would cause organ failure like this easily.
Even in India.
I am curious as to what the 'whitener' is that they added.
It wasn't caused be the drugs that the article states they were addicted to though.

White-Out, probably.

That stuff can get you high, but would probably kill you first.


It has a slighltly minty taste. I know this from middle school. Didn't seem toxic.
 
2021-08-26 12:01:38 AM  

roguejuliet: No part of this passes the ::ahem:: sniff test.  Didn't happen.


It's India. Nuff said.
 
2021-08-26 12:08:41 AM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: What, was there no sandwich bag or Saran Wrap available?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-26 12:13:06 AM  
So basically he used epoxy to keep from ejaculating and his junk blew off.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-26 12:41:31 AM  

T-Boy: I don't think that particular use was highlighted on the warning label.


It will be now.
 
2021-08-26 12:44:11 AM  
At least they waited for the epoxy to cure before they had sex.  Otherwise she'd have to Lorena Bobbit off a dead man's dick stuck inside her hoo-hah, and I can tell you from personal experience the ER docs will give you some funny looks when you show up in the ER like that.
 
2021-08-26 12:44:22 AM  

NephilimNexus: So basically he used epoxy to keep from ejaculating and his junk blew off.


[Fark user image image 466x261]


Amusing as is that mental image, it would just have been a retrograde ejaculation, which isn't a good thing either, though.
 
2021-08-26 12:45:19 AM  

Mindlock: At least they waited for the epoxy to cure before they had sex.  Otherwise she'd have to Lorena Bobbit off a dead man's dick stuck inside her hoo-hah, and I can tell you from personal experience the ER docs will give you some funny looks when you show up in the ER like that.


Alright, come clean: what did you get stuck in your butt?
 
2021-08-26 12:53:57 AM  

aagrajag: Mindlock: At least they waited for the epoxy to cure before they had sex.  Otherwise she'd have to Lorena Bobbit off a dead man's dick stuck inside her hoo-hah, and I can tell you from personal experience the ER docs will give you some funny looks when you show up in the ER like that.

Alright, come clean: what did you get stuck in your butt?


I could say, but I generally find the aura of mystery from not answering to be a great conversation topic.
 
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