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(WTOP)   If you stole a lead paint test tool, Maryland officials would like a word with you. Preferably before you make a mess with the radioactive cobalt inside   (wtop.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Associated Press, lead paint test tool, small amounts of radioactive material, Copyright, All rights reserved, Department of the Environment, Radioactive decay, Bowl Championship Series  
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1739 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Aug 2021 at 10:30 PM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



37 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-08-21 9:12:59 PM  
F that. This tool is delicious, which is NOT something I say all the time because of all the tools I put in my mouth, hardy har har.
 
2021-08-21 10:31:53 PM  
Cobalt is delicious. Toss in some cesium and we could have some real fun.
 
2021-08-21 10:35:44 PM  
Well, you're no fun.
 
2021-08-21 10:40:56 PM  

A Fark Handle: Cobalt is delicious. Toss in some cesium and we could have some real fun.


Can I get mine with a side of strontium?  There's all kinds of fun stories out there about buffoons who've run across radioactive material and paid a heavy price for their ignorance...
 
2021-08-21 10:43:01 PM  
Brought to mind the Goiania accident.
 
2021-08-21 10:44:26 PM  
Oh shiat, this is how they caught Kavanaugh

/ quickly scribbles 'Did not steal a lead paint testing tool' on 8/11 on the wall calendar
 
2021-08-21 10:46:23 PM  
Probably read on FreeRepublic that cobalt cures COVID.

They're right, if you ingest enough of it, it does.
 
2021-08-21 10:48:06 PM  
Good thing it's not Co-60 because that would be very bad.
 
2021-08-21 10:50:19 PM  

Jeff5: Probably read on FreeRepublic that cobalt cures COVID.

They're right, if you ingest enough of it, it does.


Cures almost anything, really.
 
2021-08-21 10:50:19 PM  
It's for, um, a friend's boy scout project. Nothing to see here. There's no breeder reactor cobbled together in his mom's garden shed or anything else to worry about.
 
2021-08-21 10:51:03 PM  

Gyrfalcon: Jeff5: Probably read on FreeRepublic that cobalt cures COVID.

They're right, if you ingest enough of it, it does.

Cures almost anything, really.


And leaves you with a rosy glow.
 
2021-08-21 10:53:55 PM  
Cesium? Strontium? Y'all wussies.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-21 10:55:36 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-21 10:55:56 PM  
It would probably help a lot if they showed a picture of the missing tool.
 
2021-08-21 10:57:28 PM  
Co-60 and Cs-137 are my best friends!
 
2021-08-21 10:58:18 PM  
No I didn't lose it, ummmm someone must have stolen it.
 
2021-08-21 11:01:43 PM  
Iodine-141 here.  Where's the love?
 
2021-08-21 11:10:43 PM  
It's an X-Ray fluorescence unit. It's typical equipment to screen for lead paint. It's a small source but it's a big deal to the NRC.
 
2021-08-21 11:26:17 PM  
This is going to put the emergency room personnel's diagnostic skills to the test:

"This patient seems... radioactive..."
"Why would he be radioactive, Phil."
"I have no idea. On the x-ray, his hands and genitals are blinding the machine."
 
2021-08-21 11:31:05 PM  

KarmicDisaster: It would probably help a lot if they showed a picture of the missing tool.


You'll know it when you see it.
 
2021-08-21 11:41:14 PM  
Speaking of eating cobalt, it happens to be an essential element. It's a core component of Vitamin B12.
 
2021-08-21 11:42:44 PM  
Oooh, and XRF. If it's a newer one, they kinda look like a 1960's B-Movie laser gun. The older ones are like big clunky shoeboxes.

Had a colleague that had one stolen back in the late 1990s. It's was stored in a special briefcase and for whatever reason, he left it on the front seat in his car with the door unlocked.

Had to file a report with the NRC.

/csb, I know
 
2021-08-21 11:46:38 PM  

sex_and_drugs_for_ian: KarmicDisaster: It would probably help a lot if they showed a picture of the missing tool.

You'll know it when you see it.


Such a picture can be found here...

https://wjla.com/news/local/maryland-​o​fficials-seek-paint-test-tool-containi​ng-radioactive-material
 
2021-08-21 11:51:08 PM  
Biden needs to invade SA and take the place over Afghanistan style.  Evacuate the women and girls.  Because womanitarian crisis is not acceptable.  Then inject all the nuclear waste into the oil wells and cap them.  The oil wells are stable.  They haven't ruptured for a billion years.  Then if anybody starts drilling for the oil, it will release radiation.  The oil will be too dangerous to use.  And we will have a good place to put the nuclear waste.  Let the males of SA either expire from old age or have them warp speed tech to make radiation safe.  Either way we win.

They started the fight, let's finish it.
 
2021-08-21 11:58:03 PM  

Insult Comic Bishounen: Iodine-141 here.  Where's the love?


Lutetium-177 in zu Hause. What whhaaatt?
 
2021-08-22 12:37:34 AM  
Amateurs.
I'm wearing a necklace containing  Uranium 235 and Uranium 238 right now.


/Muonionalusta
 
2021-08-22 12:42:02 AM  
Here is Des Moines we have a home builder called "Element 119." They named a building company after something that is predicted to collapse in under a microsecond.
 
2021-08-22 12:44:01 AM  

KidKorporate: A Fark Handle: Cobalt is delicious. Toss in some cesium and we could have some real fun.

Can I get mine with a side of strontium?  There's all kinds of fun stories out there about buffoons who've run across radioactive material and paid a heavy price for their ignorance...


i.imgur.comView Full Size

Strontium-90 gives it that extra kick.
 
2021-08-22 12:48:09 AM  

jokerscrowbar: Amateurs.
I'm wearing a necklace containing  Uranium 235 and Uranium 238 right now.


/Muonionalusta


Fark user imageView Full Size


Calm down, Mr. Nukem.
 
2021-08-22 12:54:40 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Clear concise labeling is important.
 
2021-08-22 1:57:09 AM  
It will be fun to see how this turns out...Will they leave it someplace after figuring out they can't just get rid of it? Will the idiots try to take it apart?

I personally hope they poison themselves at least slightly by playing with it..Then try to explain their
sickness symptoms and skin burns to some doctor..
 
2021-08-22 8:58:16 AM  
No love for good old polonium-210?
 
2021-08-22 9:37:07 AM  
Since we're all naming our favorite isotopes, I'll call out 99m-Tc
 
2021-08-22 10:23:31 AM  

Mr. Shabooboo: It will be fun to see how this turns out...Will they leave it someplace after figuring out they can't just get rid of it? Will the idiots try to take it apart?

I personally hope they poison themselves at least slightly by playing with it..Then try to explain their
sickness symptoms and skin burns to some doctor..


I don't think it's hot enough to burn anyone.

poorjon: Since we're all naming our favorite isotopes, I'll call out 99m-Tc


Tasty!

(Actually, I couldn't detect any unusual taste.  Yes, there's a test where they put it on food.)
 
2021-08-22 11:57:42 AM  

poorjon: Since we're all naming our favorite isotopes, I'll call out 99m-Tc


My favorite, too. It's fun being a gamma emitter for a couple of days.
 
2021-08-22 4:02:05 PM  

MIRV888: [Fark user image 299x177]
Clear concise labeling is important.


That has to make testing difficult....
 
2021-08-23 3:40:47 AM  

poorjon: Since we're all naming our favorite isotopes, I'll call out 99m-Tc


Mine is Xenon-124, and its epic and somewhat less than dangerous half life of 18 billion trillion years.
 
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