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(Daily Express)   Charles in Charge sequel imminent (possible nsfw content on page)   (express.co.uk) divider line
    More: Interesting, Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, Prince, Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom, Monarch, welcome place of sanctuary, Royal family, former royal correspondent, Government ministers  
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3881 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Aug 2021 at 9:17 PM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-08-14 5:44:17 PM  
Always tough getting back in the dating game after a long term relationship falls apart.
Since pregnancy is unlikely, I should recommend a series of indiscriminate, random sexual encounters. At least for the first couple years. Really time to broaden your expectations at age 95.
She keeps a full stable of festooned potential suitors on hand. Maybe convert a couple of the Beefeaters into xxxxxeaters until she's ready to get back into the bar scene.
 
2021-08-14 6:27:55 PM  
Scott Baio is not available. Guess who is going to play the lead? That's right

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-14 6:59:21 PM  
TFA leaves me with the impression that the experts are only guessing how the queen is feeling ATM, given recent developments, and for all anyone knows she could be riding a scooter around Balmoral and beaming like those kids from the 00's Steal My Sunshine video.

--who by the way I thought made a cute couple but who are actually brother and sister, and there's nothing wrong with a brother and sister riding round on a scooter and having fun. They don't have to be a couple or anything.

Len - Steal My Sunshine
Youtube E1fzJ_AYajA
 
2021-08-14 7:50:16 PM  

Garza and the Supermutants: TFA leaves me with the impression that the experts are only guessing how the queen is feeling ATM, given recent developments, and for all anyone knows she could be riding a scooter around Balmoral and beaming like those kids from the 00's Steal My Sunshine video.



Are you implying that royal gossip is not perhaps based in fact?
 
2021-08-14 9:20:48 PM  
If the Express is reporting this, then I assume she's actually as healthy as a woman 20 years younger than her.
 
2021-08-14 9:26:15 PM  
I mean....the Queen IS 900 years old.
 
2021-08-14 9:28:27 PM  

Garza and the Supermutants: TFA leaves me with the impression that the experts are only guessing how the queen is feeling ATM,


It's the Express. I think you're overestimating the word "experts" by at least an order of magnitude, maybe two. Did they not have anything better to make up whole cloth today?
 
2021-08-14 9:33:12 PM  
Let's be real: they'd sooner pull a Weekend at Bernie's with the Queen than let Charles have the throne.

Can he pre-emptively abdicate and save everyone the trouble?
 
2021-08-14 9:37:37 PM  

UNC_Samurai: If the Express is reporting this, then I assume she's actually as healthy as a woman 20 years younger than her.


That would still be 75 years old.
But yeah, the Express famously fired all its journalists years ago and just copies internet junk for people who don't have the internet, not going to treat that as source of anything.
 
2021-08-14 9:38:12 PM  
Those silly Brits and their monarchs
 
2021-08-14 9:38:40 PM  

Garza and the Supermutants: TFA leaves me with the impression that the experts are only guessing how the queen is feeling ATM, given recent developments, and for all anyone knows she could be riding a scooter around Balmoral and beaming like those kids from the 00's Steal My Sunshine video.

--who by the way I thought made a cute couple but who are actually brother and sister, and there's nothing wrong with a brother and sister riding round on a scooter and having fun. They don't have to be a couple or anything.

[YouTube video: Len - Steal My Sunshine]


I went to high school with one of the DJs from Len (he was in the group while in high school, actually) - you can see him at about 1:35 in the video, wearing a basketball jersey with "Canada" on the back.  He though it was the lamest shiat ever but he made a bunch of money and turned it into other opportunities, so good for him.
 
2021-08-14 9:40:58 PM  

1funguy: Always tough getting back in the dating game after a long term relationship falls apart.
Since pregnancy is unlikely, I should recommend a series of indiscriminate, random sexual encounters. At least for the first couple years. Really time to broaden your expectations at age 95.
She keeps a full stable of festooned potential suitors on hand. Maybe convert a couple of the Beefeaters into xxxxxeaters until she's ready to get back into the bar scene.


Maybe it's time she tried playing for the other team, just to see how it goes..She could start wearing bright
flannel prints, trucker hats with nice feathers, and Doc Martins ( Though I don't care much for that show)..
 
2021-08-14 9:41:52 PM  

UNC_Samurai: If the Express is reporting this, then I assume she's actually as healthy as a woman 20 years younger than her.


Yup, and it's "royal experts" saying this, to add another dollop of bullshiat here.
 
2021-08-14 9:42:57 PM  

1funguy: Always tough getting back in the dating game after a long term relationship falls apart.
Since pregnancy is unlikely, I should recommend a series of indiscriminate, random sexual encounters. At least for the first couple years. Really time to broaden your expectations at age 95.
She keeps a full stable of festooned potential suitors on hand. Maybe convert a couple of the Beefeaters into xxxxxeaters until she's ready to get back into the bar scene.


I'd hit the old queen like a rubber hose hitting an emptied-out pinata.
 
2021-08-14 9:52:12 PM  

Garza and the Supermutants: TFA leaves me with the impression that the experts are only guessing how the queen is feeling ATM, given recent developments, and for all anyone knows she could be riding a scooter around Balmoral and beaming like those kids from the 00's Steal My Sunshine video.

--who by the way I thought made a cute couple but who are actually brother and sister, and there's nothing wrong with a brother and sister riding round on a scooter and having fun. They don't have to be a couple or anything.

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/E1fzJ_AYajA]


I still have a crush on her. She's still adorbs AF too.
 
2021-08-14 9:54:43 PM  
If I know Liz as well as I think I do, she is living it up like Billy Madison.

Billy Madison - Keg Spin
Youtube txakICgazz8
 
2021-08-14 9:56:34 PM  

medius: 1funguy: Always tough getting back in the dating game after a long term relationship falls apart.
Since pregnancy is unlikely, I should recommend a series of indiscriminate, random sexual encounters. At least for the first couple years. Really time to broaden your expectations at age 95.
She keeps a full stable of festooned potential suitors on hand. Maybe convert a couple of the Beefeaters into xxxxxeaters until she's ready to get back into the bar scene.

I'd hit the old queen like a rubber hose hitting an emptied-out pinata.


That MIGHT be her kink...knowing what we know about randy Andy...

We might just have a job for you...
 
2021-08-14 9:57:38 PM  

Mr. Shabooboo: 1funguy: Always tough getting back in the dating game after a long term relationship falls apart.
Since pregnancy is unlikely, I should recommend a series of indiscriminate, random sexual encounters. At least for the first couple years. Really time to broaden your expectations at age 95.
She keeps a full stable of festooned potential suitors on hand. Maybe convert a couple of the Beefeaters into xxxxxeaters until she's ready to get back into the bar scene.

Maybe it's time she tried playing for the other team, just to see how it goes..She could start wearing bright
flannel prints, trucker hats with nice feathers, and Doc Martins ( Though I don't care much for that show)..


After a steady diet of prunes...

An apple might be just her cup of tea...
 
2021-08-14 10:05:02 PM  
She just needs to hook up with Keith Richards, and they can be happily immortal together.
 
2021-08-14 10:15:43 PM  

Olympic Trolling Judge: Let's be real: they'd sooner pull a Weekend at Bernie's with the Queen than let Charles have the throne.

Can he pre-emptively abdicate and save everyone the trouble?


No one's abdicating while she's alive; she considers it a near-sacred duty to serve the people & being born into it means you must never shirk it. She saw firsthand what abdication did to her family for a generation or more, knowing her as he does Charles wouldn't dare even talk about it.
Mind you, they both have skewed views of what the real world is like & there's no chance they'll ever understand otherwise.
 
TWX
2021-08-14 10:31:15 PM  
**NEW** Mock the Week: Newsreel - 13th October 2017 - Prince Charles
Youtube MS3IkPwScrY
 
TWX
2021-08-14 10:34:01 PM  
Mock the Week - Newsreel - Prince Charles
Youtube vMIs7L5SxfQ
 
2021-08-14 10:49:04 PM  
A rough year for QEII.  Losing her husband, finding out one of her sons is *like that* and having a grandson openly diss you in public.
 
2021-08-14 10:49:41 PM  
It's about that time.

Royalty travels faster than light.
 
2021-08-14 10:51:09 PM  
Situations like this are interesting because we see the very upper limits of medical care.
 
2021-08-14 10:56:28 PM  

ThePea: Olympic Trolling Judge: Let's be real: they'd sooner pull a Weekend at Bernie's with the Queen than let Charles have the throne.

Can he pre-emptively abdicate and save everyone the trouble?

No one's abdicating while she's alive; she considers it a near-sacred duty to serve the people & being born into it means you must never shirk it. She saw firsthand what abdication did to her family for a generation or more, knowing her as he does Charles wouldn't dare even talk about it.
Mind you, they both have skewed views of what the real world is like & there's no chance they'll ever understand otherwise.


No one would EVER EVER begrudge her retiring..It's more in their family's head than reality..
She's been one of the most admired leaders in the world for a long time..If she were to retire,
it wouldn't be even in the same galaxy as abdicating for some broad the royal eye has the hots for..
She has served,essentially, the world as a leader and advisor and wise elder..It's almost a crime that
she doesn't allow herself a few remaining years to retire to Balmoral and watch the wheels from the outside.
People would still flock to her for her sage advice,but at least she'd be off the hook for the daily grind
of things she HAS to do..
 
2021-08-14 11:03:10 PM  

Garza and the Supermutants: TFA leaves me with the impression that the experts are only guessing how the queen is feeling ATM


So any day ending in 'y' for oooh, the last 500 years.

/replace queen with king where applicable.
 
2021-08-14 11:04:54 PM  

Speaker to Lampposts: She just needs to hook up with Keith Richards, and they can be happily immortal together.


There can be only one.
 
2021-08-14 11:18:59 PM  
It's past time that she retired to Boca.
 
2021-08-14 11:54:05 PM  
Oh thank God! I thought Scott Baio was going to run for President in 2024!
 
2021-08-14 11:54:23 PM  

iheartscotch: I mean....the Queen IS 900 years old.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-15 12:00:36 AM  
Hey, guys! What's going on in this threa--

1funguy: Always tough getting back in the dating game after a long term relationship falls apart.
Since pregnancy is unlikely, I should recommend a series of indiscriminate, random sexual encounters. At least for the first couple years. Really time to broaden your expectations at age 95.
She keeps a full stable of festooned potential suitors on hand. Maybe convert a couple of the Beefeaters into xxxxxeaters until she's ready to get back into the bar scene.


Fark user imageView Full Size

/Carry on
 
2021-08-15 12:02:42 AM  

Archie Goodwin: Speaker to Lampposts: She just needs to hook up with Keith Richards, and they can be happily immortal together.

There can be only one.


Fark user imageView Full Size


I am immortal, I have inside the blood of kings!
I have no rival, no man can be my equal...
 
2021-08-15 12:15:16 AM  

UNC_Samurai: If the Express is reporting this, then I assume she's actually as healthy as a woman 20 years younger than her.


Most women 20 years younger than her are dead...
 
2021-08-15 12:15:18 AM  
All royals should be summarily executed. Prove me wrong wankers.
 
2021-08-15 12:18:39 AM  

1funguy: Maybe convert a couple of the Beefeaters into xxxxxeaters until she's ready to get back into the bar scene.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-15 12:25:48 AM  
yeah i had a crush for Fergie back in the 80s, when she was in all the tabloids
 
2021-08-15 12:37:16 AM  
So is Scott Baio going to rape the queen like he did Nicole Eggert?
 
2021-08-15 3:04:39 AM  

ThePea: Olympic Trolling Judge: Let's be real: they'd sooner pull a Weekend at Bernie's with the Queen than let Charles have the throne.

Can he pre-emptively abdicate and save everyone the trouble?

No one's abdicating while she's alive; she considers it a near-sacred duty to serve the people & being born into it means you must never shirk it. She saw firsthand what abdication did to her family for a generation or more, knowing her as he does Charles wouldn't dare even talk about it.
Mind you, they both have skewed views of what the real world is like & there's no chance they'll ever understand otherwise.


Interestingly, she'd've still inherited & become Queen had Edward VIII remained King since she has been next in line because of accident of birth & because Wallis Simpson was a barren husk unable to breed, so when E8R died in 1973(?), she'd've come to the Throne anyway. Would she've married Philip? There'd've been a different heir since the exact moment of spem & egg meeting to produce Charles probably wouldn't've happened. The Royal Family would be quite different.

The Royal guessers mentioned in the article are closer than I geographically, but they have no more idea or clue than I since they aren't in her presence any more than I. They have no idea of her health at the moment, so the article is just chip wrap. Until a Palace physician issues an official notice to her subjects to prepare themselves, HRM continues to continue on & PoW continues to tap at his wrist chronometer and clear his throat. Remember: her late Mother set the age to beat: 102 (?). The Queen still has nearly a decade to go to pass her record. She could outlive her son, tho' his Father came from some old stock as well. It's possible that even tho' a King Charles III will come to the Throne an old man, like Edward Vii he could sit there a decade or more before toppling off it.
 
2021-08-15 3:13:39 AM  

Lurk Who's Talking: ThePea: Olympic Trolling Judge: Let's be real: they'd sooner pull a Weekend at Bernie's with the Queen than let Charles have the throne.

Can he pre-emptively abdicate and save everyone the trouble?

No one's abdicating while she's alive; she considers it a near-sacred duty to serve the people & being born into it means you must never shirk it. She saw firsthand what abdication did to her family for a generation or more, knowing her as he does Charles wouldn't dare even talk about it.
Mind you, they both have skewed views of what the real world is like & there's no chance they'll ever understand otherwise.

Interestingly, she'd've still inherited & become Queen had Edward VIII remained King since she has been next in line because of accident of birth & because Wallis Simpson was a barren husk unable to breed, so when E8R died in 1973(?), she'd've come to the Throne anyway. Would she've married Philip? There'd've been a different heir since the exact moment of spem & egg meeting to produce Charles probably wouldn't've happened. The Royal Family would be quite different.

The Royal guessers mentioned in the article are closer than I geographically, but they have no more idea or clue than I since they aren't in her presence any more than I. They have no idea of her health at the moment, so the article is just chip wrap. Until a Palace physician issues an official notice to her subjects to prepare themselves, HRM continues to continue on & PoW continues to tap at his wrist chronometer and clear his throat. Remember: her late Mother set the age to beat: 102 (?). The Queen still has nearly a decade to go to pass her record. She could outlive her son, tho' his Father came from some old stock as well. It's possible that even tho' a King Charles III will come to the Throne an old man, like Edward Vii he could sit there a decade or more before toppling off it.


What?
 
2021-08-15 3:43:35 AM  

Garza and the Supermutants: TFA leaves me with the impression that the experts are only guessing how the queen is feeling ATM, given recent developments, and for all anyone knows she could be riding a scooter around Balmoral and beaming like those kids from the 00's Steal My Sunshine video.


The clue is in the phrase "royal expert". These people like to pretend they're in the know but the royals avoid them like the plague. At best they might pick up some gossip at a social event, the rest they pull out of their asses.
 
2021-08-15 3:51:48 AM  

drxym: Garza and the Supermutants: TFA leaves me with the impression that the experts are only guessing how the queen is feeling ATM, given recent developments, and for all anyone knows she could be riding a scooter around Balmoral and beaming like those kids from the 00's Steal My Sunshine video.

The clue is in the phrase "royal expert". These people like to pretend they're in the know but the royals avoid them like the plague. At best they might pick up some gossip at a social event, the rest they pull out of their asses.


Well, damn.  I thought there was some class I could take to become a royal expert. I am simply crushed to realize that I can never be so lofty as these fine folks are.

I may as well simply announce that I too, am a royal expert and issuing rumors and innuendos.
 
2021-08-15 4:49:18 AM  

gameshowhost: Garza and the Supermutants: TFA leaves me with the impression that the experts are only guessing how the queen is feeling ATM, given recent developments, and for all anyone knows she could be riding a scooter around Balmoral and beaming like those kids from the 00's Steal My Sunshine video.

--who by the way I thought made a cute couple but who are actually brother and sister, and there's nothing wrong with a brother and sister riding round on a scooter and having fun. They don't have to be a couple or anything.

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/E1fzJ_AYajA]

I still have a crush on her. She's still adorbs AF too.


Seconded.
 
2021-08-15 8:23:09 AM  

LoneVVolf: 1funguy: Maybe convert a couple of the Beefeaters into xxxxxeaters until she's ready to get back into the bar scene.

[Fark user image image 425x634]


I guess she might look like that afterwards.
You think she has dentures..?
 
2021-08-15 7:57:05 PM  

Cormee: Lurk Who's Talking: ThePea: Olympic Trolling Judge: Let's be real: they'd sooner pull a Weekend at Bernie's with the Queen than let Charles have the throne.

Can he pre-emptively abdicate and save everyone the trouble?

No one's abdicating while she's alive; she considers it a near-sacred duty to serve the people & being born into it means you must never shirk it. She saw firsthand what abdication did to her family for a generation or more, knowing her as he does Charles wouldn't dare even talk about it.
Mind you, they both have skewed views of what the real world is like & there's no chance they'll ever understand otherwise.

Interestingly, she'd've still inherited & become Queen had Edward VIII remained King since she has been next in line because of accident of birth & because Wallis Simpson was a barren husk unable to breed, so when E8R died in 1973(?), she'd've come to the Throne anyway. Would she've married Philip? There'd've been a different heir since the exact moment of spem & egg meeting to produce Charles probably wouldn't've happened. The Royal Family would be quite different.

The Royal guessers mentioned in the article are closer than I geographically, but they have no more idea or clue than I since they aren't in her presence any more than I. They have no idea of her health at the moment, so the article is just chip wrap. Until a Palace physician issues an official notice to her subjects to prepare themselves, HRM continues to continue on & PoW continues to tap at his wrist chronometer and clear his throat. Remember: her late Mother set the age to beat: 102 (?). The Queen still has nearly a decade to go to pass her record. She could outlive her son, tho' his Father came from some old stock as well. It's possible that even tho' a King Charles III will come to the Throne an old man, like Edward Vii he could sit there a decade or more before toppling off it.

What?


Ooh, ah like a nice tune, 'yer forced to
 
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