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(Lifehacker)   11) "Do you have a TotalFark account?"   (lifehacker.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Marriage, If You Have to Ask, Divorce, partner's goals, Alimony, partner need time, You Might Think, deep sense of reality  
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3517 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Aug 2021 at 10:35 AM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



52 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-08-13 7:58:07 AM  
1) Will you live like the family from Captain Ron indefinitely? Especially like towards the end of the movie, where the family is pretty rough, but the boat is gorgeous?
2) Do you pay attention to what's going on around you and the world (the fark membership may count)?
3)Are you comfortable living in places you've never been where you don't speak the language or look like the citizens?
4) Do you have your farking vaccines (do you understand science and live accordingly)?

That's generally a good enough positive filter for me.

No tobacco (or must-have addictions), no meat, no religion, no Republicans/Nazis, are my quick negative filter. You can learn these even before the first date.

The rest is largely negotiable.

There are some deficiencies in TFA: The kid question is a gimme . You know if offspring are on the menu after the first date, if you're actually listening and communicating. What's more important with children is stuff like:

Are we willing to homeschool theoretical child?
What parenting style are we doing?
How often do you expect to travel back to the extended family with the kid?
Can we expect the kid to become a source of protein for us if we get shipwrecked? Etc.
 
2021-08-13 8:52:08 AM  
What if they do have a TF, and you've grey farkied them. Or muted them. Awkward
 
2021-08-13 9:55:51 AM  
i.kinja-img.comView Full Size


I have so many questions as to what Lifehacker thinks sex is.
 
2021-08-13 10:38:17 AM  
Do you rage quit slideshow articles?
 
2021-08-13 10:43:47 AM  
They forgot, are you really only marrying me because your best friend got married 3 years ago and had a kid and now you want to do that to? That would have been a good one.

Oh, and also, we moved away from your home town a year before getting married so you totally realize we may not be able to just go back and live there forever right? That would have been a good one, it was bad juju to assume that just because we lived somewhere else when we got married that she wouldn't expect me to throw away my career so she could live near her mom.
 
2021-08-13 10:44:06 AM  

nmrsnr: [i.kinja-img.com image 850x549]

I have so many questions as to what Lifehacker thinks sex is.


I think that is crossfit
 
2021-08-13 10:44:26 AM  

nmrsnr: [i.kinja-img.com image 850x549]

I have so many questions as to what Lifehacker thinks sex is.


I'm glad I'm not the only one.
 
2021-08-13 10:45:17 AM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: nmrsnr: [i.kinja-img.com image 850x549]

I have so many questions as to what Lifehacker thinks sex is.

I think that is crossfit


No it's vegan.
 
2021-08-13 10:45:21 AM  
I don't know... some of those questions seem awfully personal.
 
2021-08-13 10:45:37 AM  
I'd be more concerned about whether or not they have a Facebook account, but you do you, submitter.
 
2021-08-13 10:45:58 AM  

yohohogreengiant: 1) Will you live like the family from Captain Ron indefinitely? Especially like towards the end of the movie, where the family is pretty rough, but the boat is gorgeous?
2) Do you pay attention to what's going on around you and the world (the fark membership may count)?
3)Are you comfortable living in places you've never been where you don't speak the language or look like the citizens?
4) Do you have your farking vaccines (do you understand science and live accordingly)?

That's generally a good enough positive filter for me.

No tobacco (or must-have addictions), no meat, no religion, no Republicans/Nazis, are my quick negative filter. You can learn these even before the first date.

The rest is largely negotiable.

There are some deficiencies in TFA: The kid question is a gimme . You know if offspring are on the menu after the first date, if you're actually listening and communicating. What's more important with children is stuff like:

Are we willing to homeschool theoretical child?
What parenting style are we doing?
How often do you expect to travel back to the extended family with the kid?
Can we expect the kid to become a source of protein for us if we get shipwrecked? Etc.


Uhh, which side of the fence are you on when it comes to eating children?
 
2021-08-13 10:46:19 AM  
By the 5th date, take them to the place you are most ashamed of.  If they don't run, you're good.

Be it a smokey dive bar, a sex shop, or a comic book store full of sweaty nerds, that is a great filter.
 
2021-08-13 10:47:00 AM  
I was going to get a Totalfark account but instead decided to donate that cost to the Human Fund.
 
2021-08-13 10:47:45 AM  
Huh. No question about expectations for religion. I guess those minor details can be sorted out after marriage.
 
2021-08-13 10:53:03 AM  
As I recall the hookup rate for TFers in the age of Fark parties was substantial.
 
2021-08-13 10:53:17 AM  
I've been married for 32 years so I guess I better renew my TF.
 
2021-08-13 10:54:08 AM  

nmrsnr: [i.kinja-img.com image 850x549]

I have so many questions as to what Lifehacker thinks sex is.


And also what beds look like.
 
2021-08-13 10:57:49 AM  
Buttstuff?
 
2021-08-13 10:58:22 AM  

nmrsnr: [i.kinja-img.com image 850x549]

I have so many questions as to what Lifehacker thinks sex is.


Isn't this Mormon birth control?
 
2021-08-13 10:59:12 AM  
Look, I may not have a lot of money but I will cheat on you.
 
2021-08-13 10:59:17 AM  
Thank you, delta variant (and your successors) for giving me a reason not to see racist uncles at Thanksgiving again this year.

i.kinja-img.comView Full Size
 
2021-08-13 11:00:20 AM  
Trump 2024, yay or nay?
 
2021-08-13 11:01:43 AM  
I have a tf account when a benefactor takes pity upon me.
 
2021-08-13 11:09:30 AM  
12. Do you link slideshows?
 
2021-08-13 11:09:50 AM  

Solty Dog: As I recall the hookup rate for TFers in the age of Fark parties was substantial.


People hooking up at Fark parties??? I always imagined they were major sausage fests, how would anyone be hooking up...... ohhhhhhh.... Righttttttt....Fark parties.
 
2021-08-13 11:11:32 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-13 11:13:16 AM  
12. Who is more important to you, your mom or me?

Run Forrest, RUN!
 
2021-08-13 11:18:18 AM  

Tom-Servo: Solty Dog: As I recall the hookup rate for TFers in the age of Fark parties was substantial.

People hooking up at Fark parties??? I always imagined they were major sausage fests, how would anyone be hooking up...... ohhhhhhh.... Righttttttt....Fark parties.


Pre Facebook, consequence free fun with Internet people.
 
2021-08-13 11:22:57 AM  
Are you from, been to, heard of, or seen Michigan on a map?

You can insert your own state or place in the question.
 
2021-08-13 11:31:14 AM  
So I guess butt stuff would be under sex expectations.
 
2021-08-13 11:34:06 AM  

Solty Dog: Tom-Servo: Solty Dog: As I recall the hookup rate for TFers in the age of Fark parties was substantial.

People hooking up at Fark parties??? I always imagined they were major sausage fests, how would anyone be hooking up...... ohhhhhhh.... Righttttttt....Fark parties.

Pre Facebook, consequence free fun with Internet people.


Ah, back in the hamster dance orgy days...

Dibidi ba didi dou dou, Di ba didi dou... oh oh ohhhhh
 
2021-08-13 11:38:49 AM  

Ow! That was my feelings!: Trump 2024, yay or nay?


"Smart"?  No.  "Funny"?  No.  Where's the "Makes me want to hide under a table" option?
 
2021-08-13 11:54:58 AM  
Can moderator change the tag to AD?
 
2021-08-13 11:57:15 AM  
"Penis goes where?"
 
2021-08-13 12:02:58 PM  
Until/unless you've actually experienced married life and parenting, answers to over half these questions are going to be idealistic bs that won't survive a couple years into the marriage.

That said, figuring out how your going to set and manage the budget is essential.
 
2021-08-13 12:12:33 PM  
The only thing any TFer has proposed to me is that I delete my account and KMS.
 
2021-08-13 12:15:14 PM  
Before you're married she says: You're so funny!

Married: ha-ha (snarky)

You know it's over: Is everything a joke to you?
 
2021-08-13 12:21:00 PM  
Talk about all that stuff, then live together for a few years to see how it actually shakes out*.

Then think about getting married.

*advice not valid for cults that would rather see you stuck in a miserable or abusive marriage than admit people may be engaging in pre-marital sex.
 
2021-08-13 12:23:56 PM  

nmrsnr: [i.kinja-img.com image 850x549]

I have so many questions as to what Lifehacker thinks sex is.


Having seen stuff on the internet, I would hazard a guess that she has a monster under the bed fetish.
 
2021-08-13 12:42:33 PM  

chawco: They forgot, are you really only marrying me because your best friend got married 3 years ago and had a kid and now you want to do that to? That would have been a good one.

Oh, and also, we moved away from your home town a year before getting married so you totally realize we may not be able to just go back and live there forever right? That would have been a good one, it was bad juju to assume that just because we lived somewhere else when we got married that she wouldn't expect me to throw away my career so she could live near her mom.


Seems oddly specific.
 
2021-08-13 12:44:04 PM  
And article author reveals, to me, the fook they know jack shat about obtaining and maintaining a life long partner.

The stuff that matters is not just a series of straightforward questions you can ask and get flat answers to in the first place.

It's stuff you need to have figured out from interactions and observations, not Q&A.
people are the sum of their actions, NOT their words. The words in and of themselves are basiaclly a null variable in regards to how someone actually choose to act in the world.

You do not ask someone, Do you wash your hands after ever trip to the restroom?
You should know they will give the answer they think you want to hear, that is the socially correct answer to give, regardless of their actual day to day behavior.
You just need to be paying actual attention, and know if they do or not all on your own, through your own observations.

If you think you "know someone" because of what all they told you about themselves on their own, you're fool.
You only really know somoen what you have personally observed enough of the actual choices they make/actions they take.

there are no rules of controls in place, the words can in fact be 100% arbitrary relative to someone's actions.
this is why the actions do not only speak louder than the words. they are in fact all that's really worth "listening" to in the first place.
 
2021-08-13 12:58:19 PM  

ChrisDe: chawco: They forgot, are you really only marrying me because your best friend got married 3 years ago and had a kid and now you want to do that to? That would have been a good one.

Oh, and also, we moved away from your home town a year before getting married so you totally realize we may not be able to just go back and live there forever right? That would have been a good one, it was bad juju to assume that just because we lived somewhere else when we got married that she wouldn't expect me to throw away my career so she could live near her mom.

Seems oddly specific.


What you don't think those things are important? ALways best to make sure her best friend hadn't been married a year before you met and put her in marriage mindset and you're jsut that convenient and easy to get along with gy who came along ut she doesn't really have any intention of putting in the work to actual maintain a relationship of any kind. Super important,.

Also maybe best to be sure she doesn't have mommy/daddy issues and expect you to solve all her problems no matter what and pay for anything she wants ever even though you're broke because she wanted to be a stay at home mom and you're in grad school, so no, you cant afford to hire people to repaint the house.

Important things to know before you have 2 kids that she rushes into and end up paying 20% of your income in child support while only seeing your kids half the time.
 
2021-08-13 1:04:10 PM  
Life pro tip: if you meet your future spouse in TFD, you've met someone who has already seen your most embarrassing internet posts and has decided it's not a dealbreaker
 
2021-08-13 1:10:33 PM  
No, I'm a filthy liter now. 😢

/at least I know The Easiest Way To Sell Your Car
 
2021-08-13 1:36:18 PM  
Spankee or spanker?

Why not both?

Can I randomly play with your boobs since such things fascinate me?
 
2021-08-13 1:38:04 PM  

Redh8t: yohohogreengiant: 1) Will you live like the family from Captain Ron indefinitely? Especially like towards the end of the movie, where the family is pretty rough, but the boat is gorgeous?
2) Do you pay attention to what's going on around you and the world (the fark membership may count)?
3)Are you comfortable living in places you've never been where you don't speak the language or look like the citizens?
4) Do you have your farking vaccines (do you understand science and live accordingly)?

That's generally a good enough positive filter for me.

No tobacco (or must-have addictions), no meat, no religion, no Republicans/Nazis, are my quick negative filter. You can learn these even before the first date.

The rest is largely negotiable.

There are some deficiencies in TFA: The kid question is a gimme . You know if offspring are on the menu after the first date, if you're actually listening and communicating. What's more important with children is stuff like:

Are we willing to homeschool theoretical child?
What parenting style are we doing?
How often do you expect to travel back to the extended family with the kid?
Can we expect the kid to become a source of protein for us if we get shipwrecked? Etc.

Uhh, which side of the fence are you on when it comes to eating children?


It completely depends on how hungry I am.

This is definitely something couples should ask that isn't in the TFA
 
2021-08-13 1:52:25 PM  
Are you a cheapskate?
Do you tend to be hot or cold?
Are you into hoarding things?
Does baby have a temper?

Those are the main things. Believe me, it'll get old really fast if you're sweltering in the summer heat in your home and your partner won't allow you to run the air conditioning without constantly complaining because it's not worth spending the money on it and they are cold all the time anyway.

On the other hand, it'll get old really fast if you're the one who is cold all the time and you like to save money when possible and your partner wants to run the air conditioning all summer.
 
2021-08-13 3:49:08 PM  
A question half-way down the list, "how do you feel about living together before we get married?"

You should do that before you propose, dumb*ss.
 
2021-08-13 6:40:45 PM  

yohohogreengiant: Redh8t: yohohogreengiant: 1) Will you live like the family from Captain Ron indefinitely? Especially like towards the end of the movie, where the family is pretty rough, but the boat is gorgeous?
2) Do you pay attention to what's going on around you and the world (the fark membership may count)?
3)Are you comfortable living in places you've never been where you don't speak the language or look like the citizens?
4) Do you have your farking vaccines (do you understand science and live accordingly)?

That's generally a good enough positive filter for me.

No tobacco (or must-have addictions), no meat, no religion, no Republicans/Nazis, are my quick negative filter. You can learn these even before the first date.

The rest is largely negotiable.

There are some deficiencies in TFA: The kid question is a gimme . You know if offspring are on the menu after the first date, if you're actually listening and communicating. What's more important with children is stuff like:

Are we willing to homeschool theoretical child?
What parenting style are we doing?
How often do you expect to travel back to the extended family with the kid?
Can we expect the kid to become a source of protein for us if we get shipwrecked? Etc.

Uhh, which side of the fence are you on when it comes to eating children?

It completely depends on how hungry I am.

This is definitely something couples should ask that isn't in the TFA


Touché :)
 
2021-08-13 8:26:48 PM  

JessieL: Talk about all that stuff, then live together for a few years to see how it actually shakes out*.

Then think about getting married.

*advice not valid for cults that would rather see you stuck in a miserable or abusive marriage than admit people may be engaging in pre-marital sex.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
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