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(Daily Star)   Maybe the real Jewish Space Laser was the traumatic brain injuries we sustained along the way (possible nsfw content on page)   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Conspiracy theory, Illuminati, Conspiracy theorist Kyle Cardinal, Conspiracy theories, Republican congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene, Conspiracy?, The Usual Suspects, flash fire  
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2771 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Aug 2021 at 1:50 PM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



43 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-08-06 1:15:08 PM  
Who controls this weapon, what did the town do to offend them?
 
2021-08-06 1:27:53 PM  
Just saw Kristin Sinema on The View. This won't carry well on here, but she makes a good argument against limiting or eliminating the filibuster.

Oh well. May as well open that rabbit hole...
 
2021-08-06 1:31:20 PM  

1funguy: Just saw Kristin Sinema on The View. This won't carry well on here, but she makes a good argument against limiting or eliminating the filibuster.

Oh well. May as well open that rabbit hole...


Sorry wrong thread
 
2021-08-06 1:33:36 PM  

1funguy: 1funguy: Just saw Kristin Sinema on The View. This won't carry well on here, but she makes a good argument against limiting or eliminating the filibuster.

Oh well. May as well open that rabbit hole...

Sorry wrong thread


And here I was thinking she was in town when Biden deployed the laser.
 
2021-08-06 1:47:36 PM  

EvilEgg: 1funguy: 1funguy: Just saw Kristin Sinema on The View. This won't carry well on here, but she makes a good argument against limiting or eliminating the filibuster.

Oh well. May as well open that rabbit hole...

Sorry wrong thread

And here I was thinking she was in town when Biden deployed the laser.


He Jewish now?
The Catholics finally had enough of his shiat, huh?

Hell of a welcoming party...
 
2021-08-06 1:53:38 PM  
"It's going to be hard to convince me this wasn't somehow purposeful," he said.

Good thing nobody gives a shiat what you think.
 
2021-08-06 1:53:59 PM  
why bother with some giant space laser, just throw some lit cigarettes around or have a gender reveal party.
 
2021-08-06 1:56:23 PM  
Or....stay with me here.

Fark user imageView Full Size


And a drought
 
2021-08-06 1:58:53 PM  
Why do you think Jewish men and women wear head coverings, subby? To protect against brain injuries from the space laser!
 
2021-08-06 1:59:10 PM  

Circusdog320: Or....stay with me here.

[Fark user image image 425x425]

And a drought


That's kind of a stretch...
 
2021-08-06 2:01:50 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-06 2:01:50 PM  
If I had a space laser, I sure as hell wouldn't burn out some insignificant redneck town. I would simply shoot it at anthills around the planet. I farking hate ants.
 
2021-08-06 2:05:45 PM  

Headso: why bother with some giant space laser, just throw some lit cigarettes around or have a gender reveal party.


Why not both?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-06 2:08:20 PM  
He added, though, that he should be careful about exposing the international conspiracy: "I might get directed energy weaponed.  Hit me with those laser beams.  (Ow, ow, ow)  Laser beam me.  Ah, ah, ah!"

Relax, dude.
 
2021-08-06 2:09:59 PM  

DarkSoulNoHope: Why do you think Jewish men and women wear head coverings, subby? To protect against brain injuries from the space laser!


Or flying sparks..!
 
2021-08-06 2:10:05 PM  

Iworkformsn: Circusdog320: Or....stay with me here.

[Fark user image image 425x425]

And a drought

That's kind of a stretch...


Investigators said that the data matches.
 
XSV
2021-08-06 2:14:00 PM  
the fact that TFA includes this picture makes this all the more entertaining:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-06 2:17:19 PM  

Glitchwerks: [Fark user image 640x427]
[Fark user image 720x404]


Your star is missing a point :-)
 
2021-08-06 2:17:38 PM  
Occam's Razor tells me:
Since climate change is just a conspiracy for scientists to get grant money, any so-called effects of it must be the result of another large yet undetectable conspiracy.

I call that theorem Occam's Space Lazer.
 
2021-08-06 2:17:39 PM  

XSV: the fact that TFA includes this picture makes this all the more entertaining:

[Fark user image 615x346]


I blame Mel Brooks...
 
2021-08-06 2:39:23 PM  

Flowery Twats: XSV: the fact that TFA includes this picture makes this all the more entertaining:

[Fark user image 615x346]

I blame Mel Brooks...


His documentaries offer rare insights into the American psyche.
 
2021-08-06 2:41:03 PM  
Sorry, guys. That was my bad. I was allowed to take a tour of the Jewish Space Laser Institute and they took me into the control room. There was a big, shiny red button right there on the console. I was like, "What's THIS button do?" as I reached for it.

They were like, "DON'T TOUCH THA-"

And the next thing you knew it, British Columbia was on fire.

Boy, is my face red. That wasn't in the plan at all!
 
2021-08-06 2:44:52 PM  

Flowery Twats: XSV: the fact that TFA includes this picture makes this all the more entertaining:

[Fark user image 615x346]

I blame Mel Brooks...


Yep, first he started with ships, then moved to lasers that can circumcise on a global scale.

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-08-06 2:47:39 PM  
How many Jewish carpenters did it take to put that together?
 
2021-08-06 2:53:44 PM  
So places experiencing drought are experiencing drought side effects, and somehow the only plausible explanation for some people is "space weapons"? Sounds about as reasonable of an explanation as being abducted and anally probed by space aliens after getting wasted on cheap booze at a gay bar.
 
2021-08-06 3:05:39 PM  

fragMasterFlash: So places experiencing drought are experiencing drought side effects, and somehow the only plausible explanation for some people is "space weapons"? Sounds about as reasonable of an explanation as being abducted and anally probed by space aliens after getting wasted on cheap booze at a gay bar.


Occam's Razor is not supposed to be the end all of answers.
 
2021-08-06 4:00:31 PM  

Headso: why bother with some giant space laser, just throw some lit cigarettes around or have a gender reveal party.


A Brief History of Disastrous Gender Reveals | A Short Documentary | Fascinating Horror
Youtube W_ByhV4eJ4s
 
2021-08-06 4:11:12 PM  

Circusdog320: Or....stay with me here.

[Fark user image 425x425]

And a drought


Whatever happened to giveaway matchbooks?
 
2021-08-06 4:13:10 PM  
I really have to question if people really sincerely believe some of this crazy stuff.
Because how do you sincerely believe in something so crazy and not decide to stop participating Society?
 
2021-08-06 4:15:39 PM  
Going to have to ask my neighbors how they allocate time spent with the laser controls.
 
2021-08-06 4:21:29 PM  

waxbeans: I really have to question if people really sincerely believe some of this crazy stuff.
Because how do you sincerely believe in something so crazy and not decide to stop participating Society?


By deciding to create a new society by force, one based on being completely batshiat.  Which is what they're trying to do
 
2021-08-06 4:28:53 PM  
It's going to be hard to convince me this wasn't purposeful

That's not my job. If your brain was working properly, it would do that, not me.

You've decided your fingers are sausages
Now you're telling everyone your fingers are sausages.
You want us to come up with evidence they're not so you can argue with us.

This isn't normal, nor is it worth my time.
 
2021-08-06 4:33:27 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: waxbeans: I really have to question if people really sincerely believe some of this crazy stuff.
Because how do you sincerely believe in something so crazy and not decide to stop participating Society?

By deciding to create a new society by force, one based on being completely batshiat.  Which is what they're trying to do


Ooooooooooooo
 
2021-08-06 4:52:57 PM  

EvilEgg: Who controls this weapon, what did the town do to offend them?


God controls the weapon and there's a never-married, middle-aged guy that lives there. Cool guy, dates women occassionally, but never been married so you have to wonder.
 
2021-08-06 4:54:11 PM  

EvilEgg: fragMasterFlash: So places experiencing drought are experiencing drought side effects, and somehow the only plausible explanation for some people is "space weapons"? Sounds about as reasonable of an explanation as being abducted and anally probed by space aliens after getting wasted on cheap booze at a gay bar.

Occam's Razor is not supposed to be the end all of answers.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-06 5:02:34 PM  

The Yattering: Headso: why bother with some giant space laser, just throw some lit cigarettes around or have a gender reveal party.

[YouTube video: A Brief History of Disastrous Gender Reveals | A Short Documentary | Fascinating Horror]


So, God was saying....

IT AN ANTICHRIST!!
 
2021-08-06 5:16:11 PM  
If the documentary Rise of Skywalker taught us anything it is that the Star Destroyer platform is more efficient to deploy planet destroying lasers. Uses up less manpower, resources, are more maneuverable.
 
2021-08-06 6:27:02 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
My scale model. Yes it's a cat toy.
 
2021-08-06 6:40:13 PM  

fragMasterFlash: So places experiencing drought are experiencing drought side effects, and somehow the only plausible explanation for some people is "space weapons"? Sounds about as reasonable of an explanation as being abducted and anally probed by space aliens after getting wasted on cheap booze at a gay bar.


To be fair,
Half our country has now had 4 years of unrelenting training on how to scapegoat professionally...
 
2021-08-06 7:13:34 PM  
FTA: "Cardinal toured the burned-out town, pointing out how the fire had destroyed some trees and yet passed some others by.."

Apparently he never learned that fire requires oxygen.  He must of fell asleep when Smokey the Bear visited his school.  https://smokeybear.com/en/about-wildl​a​nd-fire/fire-science/elements-of-fire

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-06 7:43:29 PM  

Bslim: If the documentary Rise of Skywalker taught us anything it is that the Star Destroyer platform is more efficient to deploy planet destroying lasers. Uses up less manpower, resources, are more maneuverable.


Also apparently it's easy to build several million of them in secret. Either that or somebody in the special effects room got a little too happy with the control V

One or the other
 
2021-08-07 3:53:13 AM  
It's not clear why international banking interests might be interested in using an orbital laser weapon to destroy the US economy

I've noticed that whenever I talk to a conspiracy theorist all I have to do to make them lose their minds is to wait until they get to the end of their monologue and then say "OK... so who benefits from this and how?"

Their confused look alone is worth it.
 
2021-08-07 7:36:11 AM  
What's the point of this article about a deleted video by some loser? To keep conspiracy talk in the news?
 
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