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(Google)   Because we had so much fun the last time we did it: rant about something specific in your job field that only other people in your field will likely understand   (google.com) divider line
    More: Survey, 1965, 1941, 1969, 1970, 1961, 1981, Jobbie Mcjobberson, 1971  
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168 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 05 Aug 2021 at 5:05 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



128 Comments     (+0 »)
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2021-08-05 2:58:36 PM  
I farking hate it when I dd to the wrong drive

I've lost Windows installations because of that stupid shiat.

Hell I've overwritten ISOs by mistake by switching up the IF and OF
 
2021-08-05 3:31:21 PM  
I would like to meet the person who came up with D2C2 and shake their hand. Over a pit of alligators.
 
2021-08-05 3:31:26 PM  
fark memory overcommit.

malloc should not be forced to lie for shiatty programmers.
 
2021-08-05 4:21:50 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-05 4:23:13 PM  
I can't call you a shiat coder any more.  I have to tell you that you're creating anti-patterns.
 
2021-08-05 4:24:30 PM  

Sliding Carp: fark memory overcommit.

malloc should not be forced to lie for shiatty programmers.


So hire a garbage collector already for God sakes.  It's the third millenium, and Christ could get here any minute.
 
2021-08-05 4:29:08 PM  
There is no 'any' key.
 
2021-08-05 4:30:27 PM  
Driftdown calculations.
 
2021-08-05 4:30:34 PM  
There is no sex in the Champagne Room
 
2021-08-05 4:30:56 PM  
There is no such thing as a 'keg separator'
 
2021-08-05 4:32:03 PM  
You can send class and you can send users to class, but good luck finding classy users.
 
2021-08-05 4:32:50 PM  
Learn to tip.
 
2021-08-05 4:35:31 PM  
E.S.Q. checklist:

tech support
strip club DJ
server
dev
server again

/got nothing for Salesforce, shiat just ain't funny.
//can confirm there has been a rapid feelup in the Ohana Floor ;)
 
2021-08-05 4:50:06 PM  
If you use fields for a TOC in Microsoft Word, there's no way to make the numbers inside the field automatically update.
 
2021-08-05 4:50:40 PM  
Editing reports generated by the half-baked technology known as voice recognition isn't the great timesaver some non-transcriptionist thought it was.
 
2021-08-05 4:57:36 PM  
Oooooh. You guys have jobs. Woooooo.
 
2021-08-05 5:04:03 PM  
Why do we still "check the gate" if it's all digital these days?
 
2021-08-05 5:06:41 PM  
Your cap is shot and your contacts are burnt out from chatering. Also the cavitation in your pump has caused the motor to free wheel and burn out along with the main starter. (sure this is all lies but I gotta make a buck or two, don't I) Typical of the .... industry???
 
2021-08-05 5:09:34 PM  
Farking stoners.
 
2021-08-05 5:11:24 PM  

RocketRod: Why do we still "check the gate" if it's all digital these days?


I got a meter you plug those three little legs into when they used to have 3 legs. Now they got all centipiedy and worse. Sick!
 
2021-08-05 5:19:25 PM  

Ow! That was my feelings!: Farking stoners.


Do you deliver pizzas?
 
2021-08-05 5:25:05 PM  
I need to rename 117,000 word documents and I'm not allowed to run powershell on AWS servers.
 
2021-08-05 5:26:04 PM  
OMFG, European Union, extend the IVDR deadline already!!!! *throwing things*
 
2021-08-05 5:27:56 PM  
I don't care how close that old chunk of BRIZ-M is coming to your bird until you can come back with SP data and a covariance that isn't measured in Rhode Islands.
 
2021-08-05 5:28:47 PM  
Your technical counterpart doesn't have contractual authority, Larry. Yes, it's a good idea. Yes, I recognize they need it. Until we get contractual direction, we aren't going to do anything about it besides tell them to give us a signed change order.
 
2021-08-05 5:29:58 PM  
Widows! Orphans! Her face is bleeding into the gutter! This makes me so .psd!
 
2021-08-05 5:30:59 PM  

cman: Ow! That was my feelings!: Farking stoners.

Do you deliver pizzas?


Worse.  In the cannabis industry.  Mostly retired from the day-2-day, but dealing with stoners all day, every day was exhausting.  And I'm not even talking about the customers.
 
2021-08-05 5:31:46 PM  
FFS you'd think these 8 year olds would be able to understand how to sew a "swoosh" UPRIGHT onto a running shoe.
 
2021-08-05 5:32:01 PM  
fark camelcase.

And languages with significant whitespace.  That's just wasting space so I can't fit my whole function on the screen a once

Also, requiring comments- if you would choose better variable and function names, then people can actually understand the code, and you rarely need comments

Also fark people who write comments, but don't bother changing them when they change the code, so you're trying to debug something, and wondering what the royal fark is going on because the code doesn't match what the comments say it's supposed to be doing
 
2021-08-05 5:32:16 PM  
The terrifying thing is that I don't know any more about this than you do, but somehow I'm the expert in this situation.
 
2021-08-05 5:32:33 PM  

Cafe Threads: If you use fields for a TOC in Microsoft Word, there's no way to make the numbers inside the field automatically update.


Heh. Try doing it in FrameMaker.
 
2021-08-05 5:32:52 PM  
The current CEA policy must be cancelled. Changes is not allowed on the Property Address when a CEA policy exists. Contact Service Center. (E41315)

Every. Dang. Day.
 
2021-08-05 5:35:05 PM  
Some days you just want to take a dive off the monkey board.
 
2021-08-05 5:35:08 PM  
I can replace this floppy drive for $50 if you don't care where I buy it.  If I HAVE to get an exact replacement from an approved vendor, it's $7500.
 
2021-08-05 5:43:53 PM  
Live-dead-live, ffs. We are gonna have to call you Flash Gordon when we put you in that forever box.
 
2021-08-05 5:46:53 PM  
A WD MyBook isn't a powerful enough NAS solution for your multi-million dollar business's backup solution.
 
2021-08-05 5:52:41 PM  
One more prior authorization and I'm going to freak.
 
2021-08-05 5:54:48 PM  
Why the hell are you trying to dedup based solely on the primary key?

(Yes, I knew someone who tried that. No, it wasn't me.)
 
TWX
2021-08-05 5:58:06 PM  
It's pronounced Vee-Are-Eff, not Verf, you stupid farks!  I don't give a damn that you've been running MPLS for years, you sound stupid trying to make a word out of it!
 
2021-08-05 5:58:22 PM  

Oneiros: fark camelcase.

And languages with significant whitespace.  That's just wasting space so I can't fit my whole function on the screen a once

Also, requiring comments- if you would choose better variable and function names, then people can actually understand the code, and you rarely need comments

Also fark people who write comments, but don't bother changing them when they change the code, so you're trying to debug something, and wondering what the royal fark is going on because the code doesn't match what the comments say it's supposed to be doing


Not-so-cool story bro/sis:

Yay..! :) I'm currently using a compiler that allows identifier names of any length...

Boo..! :( ...but everything after the first eight characters is thrown away at compile time, so "ThisIsAnIntegerVariable" and "ThisIsAnotherUnrelatedIntegerVariab​le" are treated as being the same thing - good luck diagnosing that error...
 
2021-08-05 5:58:25 PM  

roostercube: Your technical counterpart doesn't have contractual authority, Larry. Yes, it's a good idea. Yes, I recognize they need it. Until we get contractual direction, we aren't going to do anything about it besides tell them to give us a signed change order.


Contractor. They do not get paid for work on a changed work order unless it is officially signed for.
 
2021-08-05 6:01:36 PM  

Lamberts Ho Man: I don't care how close that old chunk of BRIZ-M is coming to your bird until you can come back with SP data and a covariance that isn't measured in Rhode Islands.


Rocket man...cool
 
2021-08-05 6:02:39 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: [Fark user image 430x300]


Have you seen this? https://docs.google.com/documen​t/d/1-2​aZP3BlctQrWP8bNpSxkVBKphypALPINUGGTn26​els/mobilebasic

I found it on metafliter,...
 
2021-08-05 6:03:06 PM  
Oneiros:  Also fark people who write comments, but don't bother changing them when they change the code, so you're trying to debug something, and wondering what the royal fark is going on because the code doesn't match what the comments say it's supposed to be doing

The trick is to not write comments.  When anyone challenges you, say, "The code comments itself."
 
2021-08-05 6:04:57 PM  
if you forget to write mem, don't be shocked that a 5 minute power outage screwed things up, and we don't have backups cause that would make too much sense.
 
2021-08-05 6:06:27 PM  
Adjuncts who are all like "We should switch to <LMS, LMS plugin, some random farking thing> because it looks pretty and all the work I did as an adjunct at some other place is already on that platform and I want to reuse it, even though I'm being paid to develop a brand new online course here."
 
2021-08-05 6:09:36 PM  

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: The terrifying thing is that I don't know any more about this than you do, but somehow I'm the expert in this situation.


That will apply to any tradesmen, professional, or politician anywhere in the world. The answer is to just get on and fix it.  Been there and done that.
 
2021-08-05 6:09:41 PM  
In workers compensation, businesses are classified by what they do (which will determine the base rate they are charged on).  Business owners will tell you simultaneously that they're the same as all their competitors, and also that they're completely different.
 
2021-08-05 6:12:25 PM  

dionysusaur: I can replace this floppy drive for $50 if you don't care where I buy it.  If I HAVE to get an exact replacement from an approved vendor, it's $7500.


CIA computer repairman.
 
2021-08-05 6:13:20 PM  

TWX: It's pronounced Vee-Are-Eff, not Verf, you stupid farks!  I don't give a damn that you've been running MPLS for years, you sound stupid trying to make a word out of it!


Tell that to St Paul
 
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