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(Some Guy)   Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one Welcome to your Bad Dad Joke Thursday   (countryliving.com) divider line
    More: Silly, Joke, Comedy, Punch line, good best dad jokes of all time, dad jokes, Laughter, F33B Join, dad joke  
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132 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 05 Aug 2021 at 10:20 AM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



30 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-08-05 8:34:35 AM  
Did'ja hear about the man with five penises?

His pants fit like a glove.
 
2021-08-05 8:35:49 AM  
Whaddya call a hooker with a runny nose?

Full.
 
2021-08-05 8:38:17 AM  
Interesting choices for dad jokes... Here are two more:

Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?

Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.

Why do dad's tell their younger kids the most horrible jokes?


Because they want to see them all groan up.
 
2021-08-05 8:38:47 AM  
shiat, it's Thursday?

-----------

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He couldn't budget.
 
2021-08-05 9:00:22 AM  

gopher321: shiat, it's Thursday?

-----------

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He couldn't budget.


I heard that he worked it out with a pencil.
 
2021-08-05 9:22:53 AM  
What's the difference between a chromosome and a hormone?

You can't hear a chromosome.
 
2021-08-05 10:17:25 AM  
My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall.  I said maybe...
 
2021-08-05 10:18:08 AM  
scontent.fman4-2.fna.fbcdn.netView Full Size
 
2021-08-05 11:09:34 AM  
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
 
2021-08-05 11:11:24 AM  
A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.
 
2021-08-05 11:30:07 AM  
Why couldn't Miss Piggy talk?

She had a little frog in her throat.
 
2021-08-05 11:45:01 AM  

Circusdog320: "Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella. life preserver.

 
2021-08-05 11:53:59 AM  
Diarrhea is hereditary.  It runs in your genes.

Or as the kiddos tell it.  Diarrhea is hereditary.  It runs in your pants.  And they all laugh.
 
2021-08-05 12:28:14 PM  

Markus5: Diarrhea is hereditary.  It runs in your genes.

Or as the kiddos tell it.  Diarrhea is hereditary.  It runs in your pants.  And they all laugh.


Sometimes little kids not knowing how to tell a joke is even funnier than the original... My littlest nephew *LOVED* the "Interrupting cow" joke, but could never time it right, which was critical.
 
2021-08-05 12:40:19 PM  
Do you know the problem with 54 year olds?

There's 50 of them
 
2021-08-05 2:20:26 PM  

maxheck: Markus5: Diarrhea is hereditary.  It runs in your genes.

Or as the kiddos tell it.  Diarrhea is hereditary.  It runs in your pants.  And they all laugh.

Sometimes little kids not knowing how to tell a joke is even funnier than the original... My littlest nephew *LOVED* the "Interrupting cow" joke, but could never time it right, which was critical.


Look under there!
Under where?
Made you say underwear!

Let me try.  Let me try.

Look under there!
Under where?
Under there.  Point.  Look under there.  Point.
Under where?
Under there!  Look.  <ding ding ding>  Oh.  Made you say underwear!
 
2021-08-05 2:52:12 PM  
What do you call a dog magician?

A labracadabrador.
 
2021-08-05 2:55:03 PM  

gopher321: shiat, it's Thursday?

-----------

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He couldn't budget.


But eventually he worked it out with a pencil.
 
2021-08-05 5:25:57 PM  
What do you get when you pour very hot water into a rabbit hole?

Hot, cross bunnies.
 
2021-08-05 5:30:22 PM  
What did one lesbian frog say to another lesbian frog?

We really do taste like chicken!
 
2021-08-05 5:47:13 PM  

Pinche Mateo: Whaddya call a hooker with a runny nose?

Full.


I've heard that as, "What do you call a dead hooker with a runny nose?"
 
2021-08-05 6:12:23 PM  
Actual grand-dad joke told to me and my sister when we were little.

"Oh, we can't park there, or they'll turn us into frogs!"

"What? That's not real!"

"See the sign? It says right there violators will be toad!"

"GROAN"


Same grandpa who wanted a large estate so he could call it "Belly Acres"
 
2021-08-05 6:19:23 PM  
Also same grandpa who made a sign for my pool saying:

Welcome to our OOL.
You will notice there is no P in it.
Please keep it that way.
 
2021-08-05 6:24:17 PM  

Pinche Mateo: gopher321: shiat, it's Thursday?

-----------

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He couldn't budget.

I heard that he worked it out with a pencil.


It was a #2 pencil.
 
2021-08-05 7:54:00 PM  
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two tired.
 
2021-08-05 7:55:43 PM  
How do you get down from an elephant?
You don't; you get down from a duck.

Thanks grandpa.
 
2021-08-05 10:52:12 PM  

Spice Must Flow: How do you get down from an elephant?
You don't; you get down from a duck.

Thanks grandpa.


What do you do when you get eaten by an elephant?

Run around and around until you're all pooped out!
 
2021-08-05 10:58:10 PM  
On a long car trip, I once told my G/F's 9-year-old son:

"D, I'm going to call you Texas from now on."

"<giggling> Why is that, Max?"

BECAUSE YOU ARE THE LARGEST SOURCE OF NATURAL GAS!
 
2021-08-05 11:36:28 PM  
MOOOOoooOOOH!
 
2021-08-05 11:52:08 PM  
Great thing about dad jokes...

Once you get mom to crack up, it's all over.
 
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