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(Boston Globe)   70% of Florida's new touch screen voting machines don't work.   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
•       •       •

2392 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2002 at 10:21 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

53 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2002-02-13 10:23:46 PM  
Voter error. Please replace voter and press any key.
2002-02-13 10:23:51 PM  
that could be a problem...
2002-02-13 10:24:38 PM  
Great, now Florida's going to be electing Dewey over Truman...isn't that PS around here somewhere?
2002-02-13 10:25:16 PM  
Oh, they work well all right. A little too well. You see, these machines are intended to automatically reject any remotely liberal vote. However, during the demonstration, the forgot to turn off this feature, and the Bush conspiracy is revealed.
2002-02-13 10:25:35 PM  
they should use the voting system we use with photoshops...look how well it works for us.
2002-02-13 10:25:53 PM  
like Finger, my computer is beige (on the outside).
2002-02-13 10:27:49 PM  
"they should use the voting system we use with photoshops..."

OOOOH! How about we elect the president that can do the best photoshop?
2002-02-13 10:28:35 PM  
I think they should put something on the Florida ballot for how to replace the machines, and let the voters decide
2002-02-13 10:29:25 PM  
Hmmm, president that does the best photoshop...I'd like to see what Bush can do with the Fat Party Guy.
2002-02-13 10:29:59 PM  
Even if they put a picture up of the candidate and all you had to do was press their nose, people would fark it up.

Face it, some people could fark up a wet dream.
2002-02-13 10:30:15 PM  
Where's the "Doo Dah Doo Dah"?
2002-02-13 10:33:06 PM  
Face it, some people could fark up a wet dream.
You Just shut up! That is always, er, some people's fault.

2002-02-13 10:33:12 PM  
Cut them some slack. It isn't easy building a machine with psychic powers that can determine a voter's 'intent' regardless of what they actually do.
2002-02-13 10:35:30 PM  
How is this obvious? Are you some engineer with inside information? Love the tags.
2002-02-13 10:35:37 PM  
Allow me to be the first in this thread.

[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-13 10:36:41 PM  
Seems pretty easy to me...
Just put your hands on the the ouiji pointer, and think of competent leadership.
2002-02-13 10:38:40 PM  
They oughta use punch-cards or something.
2002-02-13 10:40:22 PM  
Decide it with an alligator-wrasslin' contest, I say.
2002-02-13 10:40:27 PM  
Stop... Hammertime
[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-13 10:43:08 PM  
Wirthling: hmm, not bad... Now, this isn't my idea, but it's not so bad, really:
Everybody of voting age must compete in a nation-wide single-elimination "Rock-paper-scissors" tournament. This is cumpulsory. The winner is the president.
There's more, but I'm kinda stupid right now. I just finished writing a poem for Latin class...
2002-02-13 10:43:21 PM  
The people that vote listen to this.

[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-13 10:43:22 PM  
Gotta find someway to rig the vote.

Seriously, I doubt we will have big-time Internet voting, because of the risk of groups of people voting for various people (coughcoughWILWHEATONcough) in mass numbers.

2002-02-13 10:44:48 PM  
The people that don't vote listen to this

[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-13 10:46:31 PM  
And this kind of person wonders why the election was all screwed up.

[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-13 10:46:38 PM  
IO'm a WEBN developer, and I coould buid a voting system that was more reliable than this on the internet.

A closed system, where they have complete control over the envioronment. this is UNACCEPTABLE.
2002-02-13 10:48:12 PM  
gotta love those temporary anurisms....

dear lord, am I drunk.
2002-02-13 10:49:59 PM  
I voted for Bucannon? THe hell I say.
2002-02-13 10:56:32 PM  
Worms are pretty!
[image from too old to be available]

Slugs are cute!
2002-02-13 10:58:32 PM  
Must be something about Florida... we've got those machines here and they work great.
2002-02-13 10:59:32 PM  
Touch screen voting? Yeah, that'll work in a nursing home. Looks like Bush takes Florida again in 2004.
2002-02-13 11:00:54 PM  
Let's try for the slug again...
[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-13 11:05:36 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-13 11:06:45 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-13 11:07:01 PM  
Oh, screw it. Let's go back to flour sacks.
2002-02-13 11:11:38 PM  
Invent something that is idiot-proof and someone else will invent a better idiot. Just watch - this WILL happen in Palm Beach County. I don't think those people can even write their names. They use the same voting system for 20+ years and when Gore loses, they say they can't understand how to vote.

Someone will then claim that the touch-screen voting machines are racist.
2002-02-13 11:16:31 PM  
9/10:"Invent something that is idiot-proof and someone else will invent a better idiot"

Oscar Wilde couldn't have put it better himself.
2002-02-13 11:17:46 PM  
Hmm. Canada has invented something idiot proof. You make an X in the circle next to the person you want to vote for. The ballots are counted by hand.

The polls close at 8pm and the results are known the next morning.

2002-02-13 11:18:59 PM  
Invent something idiot-proof, and I'll stab you to death with my potato, you farking bastard! How dare you infringe on my right to be stupid?! DIE!!!
2002-02-13 11:19:45 PM  
Shawn D:

How many registered voters in Canada? 4,000? 5,000 tops?
2002-02-13 11:20:14 PM  
*screams from the rooftops*

Paper and pencils, optical sanners.
Optical scanners, paper and pencils.
2002-02-13 11:21:32 PM  
Isn't canada a communist regime run by whoever stages a successful coup any given week?
2002-02-13 11:33:04 PM  
Ah the ironies of the 2000 election were rich...

Republicans appealing to the Federal Government.

Democrats going back to States' Rights (suddenly, George Wallace was right.)

The Florida Supreme court protecting democracy by overruling the decision of a democratically elected official (Katherine Harris)

Federalist US Supreme Court overturns state supreme court in state matter.

Democrats finally admit publicly that their core constituency consists of people who are illiterate or too stupid to read instructions...oh, by the way, anyone in the military won't vote for us either. The Jewish and the elderly clearly intend to vote for us no matter what, free will be damned.

Democrats show they've never read Constitution by proclaiming loudly and repeatedly that the popular vote matters.

Bush would have lost statewide recount, but Gore wanted to cherrypick his counties, and if Gore had had it his way, he still would have lost.

All because Nader's Raiders "had to take a stand, dude!"

Thank god I voted for...
2002-02-13 11:43:57 PM  
Electronic machines WILL break down. I think they are shooting themselves in the foot going high tech in florida. Simple is what works. In Indiana we still have the mechanical voting booths. They have operated for many years. They will work if electric power is lost and are darn near indestructable.
2002-02-13 11:44:09 PM  
Thats not what I think it is on his jersey?

[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-14 12:12:38 AM  
There's a reason that residents of Florida are called Floridiots.
2002-02-14 12:22:26 AM  
you guys act so surprised
2002-02-14 12:37:59 AM  
This new computerized voting system is going to be every crooked politician's wet dream.

Next time let's do it with high resolution satellite images. All the Conservatives wear read hats and all the Liberals wear blue hats and at a predetermined time everybody stands outside.
2002-02-14 01:10:15 AM  
"70% of Florida's new touch screen voting machines don't work."

does it matter?
2002-02-14 01:12:21 AM  
Yeah, but can they download porn?
2002-02-14 06:18:39 AM  
I say next election should be done Shirley Jackson "The Lottery" style. Stick both candidates against a wall, and let the voters stone them. Whichever one survives gets to be president.
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