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(NPR)   Finally, the article that Fark has been waiting for: How to make friends, and keep them   (npr.org) divider line
    More: Interesting, Friendship, Interpersonal relationship, friend mean, Gillian Sandstrom, Love, small talk, senior lecturer, United Kingdom  
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2568 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Aug 2021 at 12:38 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



101 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-08-01 12:41:13 PM  
Nope. I am all full up on friends.

/Currently hovering at......0
 
2021-08-01 12:41:36 PM  
With zero comments.  That's ominous.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-01 12:41:54 PM  
Once I make you a good enough friend that you are comfortable checking out my basement, i won't have any trouble keeping you.
 
2021-08-01 12:43:14 PM  
I just keep her locked in the apartment.
 
2021-08-01 12:44:07 PM  
They were so busy answering the question how they never thought to ask why
 
2021-08-01 12:45:29 PM  
Do you like masturbating and hating everything?
 
2021-08-01 12:48:18 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-01 12:49:19 PM  
Too late.
 
2021-08-01 12:51:53 PM  
Actually, we're not interested in making friends, per se....

Citibank - Computer Geek
Youtube IGPBRXKuoMc
 
2021-08-01 12:52:31 PM  
Simple: Befriend animals.
 
2021-08-01 12:52:50 PM  
But I dont wanna
 
2021-08-01 12:53:14 PM  
I made s friend once. Then security changed the locks on the morgue. Spoil sports.
 
2021-08-01 12:53:32 PM  
Nah.
 
2021-08-01 12:56:30 PM  

BonoboJeezus: Simple: Befriend animals.



That squirrel is not really your friend. It just likes your nuts.
 
2021-08-01 1:00:22 PM  
DIY sure has advanced since I was young.
 
2021-08-01 1:01:23 PM  
I would want one of those things? Then when would I have the time to Fark?
 
2021-08-01 1:01:38 PM  
The best advice is just agree with what ever your pal says. Like, be an echo chamber for their opinions and it should all be 🍑
 
2021-08-01 1:03:43 PM  
I've heard of 'friends,' but I'm not certain I know what they are. Actors in a TV show, perhaps?
 
2021-08-01 1:04:42 PM  
*looks at headline*

How did someone sneak the F-word onto Fark?
 
2021-08-01 1:05:47 PM  
Dale Carnegie
 
2021-08-01 1:06:38 PM  
It hard for mere humans to breach most Farker's "Basement of Solitude"
 
2021-08-01 1:07:50 PM  
Be rich.
Have a boat.

/has no friends.
//will you be my friend?
 
2021-08-01 1:12:40 PM  

BonoboJeezus: Simple: Befriend animals.



Username checks out to a disturbing degree.
 
2021-08-01 1:13:04 PM  

WhippingBoi: Do you like masturbating and hating everything?


Jeeze... I need to unplug asap.
You nailed it.
 
2021-08-01 1:13:52 PM  
Well, the last thread of this I asked nicely how to do so... and every answer was either sarcastic, unhelpful, or straight up insulting.

Either no one wants to share how, to keep everyone for themselves, or no one else knows either.
 
2021-08-01 1:14:16 PM  

BonoboJeezus: Simple: Befriend animals.


You know, I have cats, love cats, and I was having a hard time making friends. So I volunteered for a local cat rescue organization that helped me out in the past. Like they say, invest in a hobby that you love. I was just hoping to meet new people.

It was full of the most toxic women I've ever met in my entire life. I was the only male volunteer out of 200. There was a core group of 10 women in charge who coordinated everything and they all hated each other. Every meet-up at PetSmart was just hostile gossip about other volunteers.

A 60 year-old woman told me I shouldn't talk to a younger volunteer because "her kitty smells because she doesn't take care of herself." She wasn't talking about a cat. I don't have a great sense of smell, but that was the first time in my life someone talked about a smelly crotch without actually being face deep in it.

I kept it up for a year, but eventually it got to be too much. I realized I wasn't meeting anyone I wanted to spend time with at all, so I went home to my cats. Then Covid hit.
 
2021-08-01 1:14:33 PM  
"If you have enjoyed the experience of this drink," continued the machine, "why not share it with your friends?"

"Because," said Arthur tartly, "I want to keep them."
 
2021-08-01 1:15:35 PM  

Lsherm: BonoboJeezus: Simple: Befriend animals.

You know, I have cats, love cats, and I was having a hard time making friends. So I volunteered for a local cat rescue organization that helped me out in the past. Like they say, invest in a hobby that you love. I was just hoping to meet new people.

It was full of the most toxic women I've ever met in my entire life. I was the only male volunteer out of 200. There was a core group of 10 women in charge who coordinated everything and they all hated each other. Every meet-up at PetSmart was just hostile gossip about other volunteers.

A 60 year-old woman told me I shouldn't talk to a younger volunteer because "her kitty smells because she doesn't take care of herself." She wasn't talking about a cat. I don't have a great sense of smell, but that was the first time in my life someone talked about a smelly crotch without actually being face deep in it.

I kept it up for a year, but eventually it got to be too much. I realized I wasn't meeting anyone I wanted to spend time with at all, so I went home to my cats. Then Covid hit.


Uhh... change to a dog group?
 
2021-08-01 1:17:05 PM  

Pinner: Lsherm: BonoboJeezus: Simple: Befriend animals.

You know, I have cats, love cats, and I was having a hard time making friends. So I volunteered for a local cat rescue organization that helped me out in the past. Like they say, invest in a hobby that you love. I was just hoping to meet new people.

It was full of the most toxic women I've ever met in my entire life. I was the only male volunteer out of 200. There was a core group of 10 women in charge who coordinated everything and they all hated each other. Every meet-up at PetSmart was just hostile gossip about other volunteers.

A 60 year-old woman told me I shouldn't talk to a younger volunteer because "her kitty smells because she doesn't take care of herself." She wasn't talking about a cat. I don't have a great sense of smell, but that was the first time in my life someone talked about a smelly crotch without actually being face deep in it.

I kept it up for a year, but eventually it got to be too much. I realized I wasn't meeting anyone I wanted to spend time with at all, so I went home to my cats. Then Covid hit.

Uhh... change to a dog group?


I'd love to, but my work arrangement preclude me from getting a dog. I'm just not home enough. Cats you can leave alone for a day or two. Dogs? Not so much.
 
2021-08-01 1:17:27 PM  

BonoboJeezus: Simple: Befriend animals.


Giggity tag!
 
2021-08-01 1:18:46 PM  
If you're the kind of ass pie who can't figure this out, apparently there's a cartoon about ponies just for you.
 
2021-08-01 1:21:21 PM  
In my late 30s, I decided to make friends. I made some internet friends and eventually one I got to know in real life. She was a hot and cold running mess, but knowing her introduced me to people whom I've been close to for eight or nine years in some cases. It's been difficult but I really did learn to be a social person in adulthood.
 
2021-08-01 1:21:53 PM  
Fark off.

Real hackers are not cybercriminals and make the very best friends.

More friends for me now since the article perpetuates the mistake of using cybercriminal and hacker interchangeably.

If my computer breaks, is infiltrated or stolen, I have friends that would teach me to fix it, teach me how to remove ransomware and beef up my infosec, furnish me with a donor computer to get me through lean times.

More for me.
You don't deserve my wonderful friends.
They're mine, you can't have them and I'll gladly teach them to hold grudges against people who disparage them.
 
hej
2021-08-01 1:22:56 PM  
Step 1: Stay off the pol tab
 
2021-08-01 1:24:30 PM  
Don't be so shallow?
 
2021-08-01 1:25:37 PM  

hej: Step 1: Stay off the pol tab


Pol Tab: How to make clowns and detain them.
 
2021-08-01 1:25:45 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: If you're the kind of ass pie who can't figure this out, apparently there's a cartoon about ponies just for you.


LOL. Guys you drink with at the bar and complain about the world are not actually friends.
 
2021-08-01 1:26:35 PM  
All my friends are imaginary.
At least that's what the voices in my head say.
 
2021-08-01 1:27:34 PM  

GOSH BARN IT: BonoboJeezus: Simple: Befriend animals.

Giggity tag!


And don't forget the large jar of peanut butter.
 
2021-08-01 1:30:51 PM  
Friendship Day is this month, so....
 
2021-08-01 1:34:22 PM  
Read it.  Practice it. It works.

i.ebayimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-08-01 1:34:45 PM  
I learn just enough about people to begin to dislike them. People who want to spend more time with just don't get me. Also that seems to be a red flag.
 
2021-08-01 1:35:13 PM  

FarkingChas: Prank Call of Cthulhu: If you're the kind of ass pie who can't figure this out, apparently there's a cartoon about ponies just for you.

LOL. Guys you drink with at the bar and complain about the world are not actually friends.


I build stuff with my friends.

I instigated the construction of an iron lung in March 2020 it was done by June and it raised awareness in my friend group about the dangers of the oncoming pandemic. I was the only one to vote against expanding the charity in late February because I saw what was coming.

Building the lung while watching the spiking deaths + Peesident bumblefark wrecking life helped me rally them into a voting block against Trump and convinced them to nope out of expansion and weather the pandemic.

In 2019 I was living the 1990s sitcom life. 4-6 adult friends meeting up daily between 5pm and 10 pm with a rotating cast of supporting characters and walk ins.

My mom sucks, I collect all the stray good humans that bigots don't want.

Shared works and collective efforts breed fellowship.
 
2021-08-01 1:35:54 PM  
It's OK to treat friendship as seriously as you would dating

So, how much should I pay someone for 1 hour as my friend?
 
2021-08-01 1:36:15 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-08-01 1:36:33 PM  
I had friends and then they went off the air.  I don't miss that cad Joey or bemusing Chandler and Ross is too in to dinosaurs.  But I sure miss laundry day with the ladies.
 
2021-08-01 1:37:58 PM  

kdawg7736: Don't be so shallow?


Don't be shallow and remember to swallow.
 
2021-08-01 1:38:50 PM  

waxbeans: The best advice is just agree with what ever your pal says. Like, be an echo chamber for their opinions and it should all be 🍑


So like Fark?
 
2021-08-01 1:43:10 PM  

waxbeans: The best advice is just agree with what ever your pal says. Like, be an echo chamber for their opinions and it should all be 🍑


So, a "good time Charlie" relationship. Yes, I see that all the time. That is not being friends. those are only buddies. Usually boring buddies. Because they brag (lie) about everything they have done.
 
2021-08-01 1:45:43 PM  
I can count all of my friends on one hand. I like it that way. I prefer four quarters to 100 pennies.
 
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